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To my fellow Shawols

This post is about a dream I recently had just the other night about Jonghyun, I just wanted to share it with you. It’s gonna be a long one.

So I don’t know what everyone believes in dreams, if you think they’re premonitions, the world trying to tell us something or whatever, but this one hit me really hard, which is why I wanted to share it with you.

It started with me being asked to work on a set for a movie, which I took up and I was placed at a desk in a white room, there was a camera to my left and one to the right of the doorway, a length away directly opposite me, people would come into my office to drop things at my desk or ask me for things, I must have been a secretary in this film or something. I don’t remember any of those people.

The only one I remember distinctly was Jonghyun, who walked in, stopped about a quarter of the way into the room, looked at me for a while, and as soon as I acknowledged he was there, by raising an eyebrow at him or smiling he just wordlessly walked away.

He did this about 3 times.

He was dressed head to toe in a white suit and had blonde hair in this dream.

After this it cuts to a pre-screening of the movie at an open air cinema, I’m the only one there, the director and a couple of other staff were a few rows behind me, next thing I know, Jonghyun walks in (still in that same suit) and comes and sits next to me. I turn to look at him as he sits down, we make eye contact. I smile. He freezes, stands up and hurriedly leaves.

At this point my alarm goes off, I sleeping wake up, not thinking about the dream, go on my phone for 10 mins but end up falling asleep again.

Its crazy but it’s like I never was awake for that time as I’m straight back into that dream. Now I’m stood there in a golden dress in the doorway of this huge ballroom, I round the corner and come face to face with Jonghyun.

The dream is so vivid, so extremely vivid. I remember clearly being able to see all his fine blonde hairs, his eyelashes, the tiny pores on his nose and the small moles he has. I remember looking into his eyes and feeling this overwhelming sense of warmth and love and thinking how beautiful they were, so deep and warm and real. 

He was still wearing his white suit, and was stood next to the other members of SHINee who were talking amongst themselves. I don’t know why I didn’t speak to him. I think I was shy. He made me feel weird, I was so strangely drawn to him in this dream in a way I can’t even begin to describe. Even though I was in a room full of people his was the only presence I could feel. I held eye contact with him as I walked off to talk to people.

Even when I was stood at the other side of the room talking with people I wasn’t listening to them much, I was just so compelled to look in his direction. Whenever I did he was strolling around, looking at the people in the room and smiling contently. 

I was stood talking to Amber at one point and some other people, she mentioned that SHINee only ever performed in black now. I glanced over at the four members stood against the wall, dressed head to toe in black suits. I frown and glance at Jonghyun who is wearing white. I don’t say anything. I make eye contact with him. I smile. Finally, he smiles back.

I begin to make way towards him, feeling his presence drawing me in, but then it’s announced that SHINee will be performing and I get lost in the commotion. The four members make their way to the stage and it isn’t long before they begin singing a ballad. My focous was still on Jonghyun, who had made his way through the crowd with ease, beaming with pride as he stood infront of the stage at the side, looking up at them. My heart swelled. I didn’t even question why he wasn’t on stage with them. Everything felt so in place, like he wasn’t even missing from that performance. Because I could see him plain as day. He was watching them with so much admiration and love, and pure happiness on his features, like that was his place all along.

I woke up from that dream feeling so happy and warm inside from that feeling of his presence, and how it made my heart swell and I started thinking about SHINee and how much I loved them and Jonghyun and that’s when reality hit me.

He’s not here any more.

That dream made it seem like he was still here with us, and whilst I was in that dream he was so real and so alive.

But thats when the whole thing clicked into place. Why he got flustered and ran away everytime I acknowledged him, why no one was speaking to him at that ball, why Amber didn’t mention his white attire, and why he wasn’t on stage with the members. Because no one else could see him or feel his presence.

Because even in the dream he wasn’t really there.

I went completely cold, and broke down in tears for a full twenty minutes.

No matter what you think of dreams this one really shook me up. It was such a comforting presence I felt, like he’s still with us.

And maybe that’s because he is.

He’s always here, watching over his shawol’s and admiring us from afar.

He’s always watching over his members, being so proud and loving of them.

But most importantly,  He’s happy.

[choihansoltbh]

Requests open

Hello~ Admin E here, requests are now open for smuts, fluffs, imagines, pretty much anything you want tbh for both monsta X AND (say the name) Seventeen!!!

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I have been out of kpop for so long someone help be my friend and drag me back in pls

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I hate to be that person, but I keep thinking about Jeonghan’s little cry and relating it back to things he’s said and shown in the past. He gets (adorably) upset when he’s not chosen over someone, or remarked to be not that caring. Like when DK didn’t choose him over Seungkwan in the OFD van, Seungkwan mentioned he brooded about that for a while. Or something relating to what Joshua said, Jeonghan said he wondered if he’s been caring for Joshua well after that situation. Or when Mingyu chose Jeonghan as the member he was the most awkward with, you could see he was a little shocked but didn’t want to make a big deal about it.

He’s mentioned a few times on how he thinks being “truly happy” was unclear to him until he began his little journey with the members of Seventeen. He’s mentioned how he feels weak without them, and that he feels the strongest when they are a complete 13 member unit.

He cried for 2 hours because he felt so bad for Wonwoo when he had to miss his first of many performances. He called bullshit when the secret camera for Wonwoo’s birthday happened, noting that Wonwoo wouldn’t act as he was acting like. He told DK to show his eyebrow cuts on stage if he really wanted to, despite what other opinions floated around. He was sure Minghao would fall for his tricks on OFD without getting too peeved. He was able to see past the trickery of the “we’ve decided to cook food for all 80 staff members” idea on OFD. He just really knows his friends and their behaviors.

Jeonghan loves them so much, and you can see it in how close he is with them - or as close as he thinks he is with them. From what I can assume, maybe he felt a little insecure about where he stood with a few of them. It’s natural for someone like him who claims to overthink the smallest things, and for someone who loves very strongly. To hear them say lovely things to him must have reassured him that he is well loved. On a similar note, it must be very overwhelming to hear the people you hold a lot of love for express their love to you.

[choihansoltbh]

Joshua butt slap Jeonghan hard

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Subject Edit | Yoon Jeonghan x Dazed Magazine

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forever Jeonghan’s babo

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Jeonghan (Seventeen) - Dazed & Confused Magazine December Issue ‘16

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person: oh so you like kpop? i heard the lyrics are super deep and meaningful. what's your favourite?

me: 'what the funk yo'

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sehun: yo johnny ma boi so about that "daddy" thing you were talking about the other day-

jeonghan:

sehun:

sehun: oOps gotta blast

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This probably happened lbr

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this look on jeonghan is perf

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Jeonghan: Something smells like it's burning

Seungcheol: [seductively leaning] it must be my desire for you

Jeonghan:Seungcheol you are leaning oN THE STOVE

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Get you a man who can do both.

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yoon jeong han + libra traits (other members)

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practice vs. performance

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yoon jeonghan: professional swindler