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chixchim · 3 years ago

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Levi x Reader (F) Silent Treatment

genre: mild angst, fluff

summary: Levi says something in an argument and you decide to give him the silent treatment.

Tick, Tock.

All you could hear is the clock ticking as if time is rather slow, every second the same sound radiating. The room is engulfed by silence that even the faintest of sounds reach your ears.

Two days after the most recent expedition, here you are, sitting on the couch by the lance corporal’s desk. It’s been two days and Humanity’s Strongest is still working himself out with a bundle of papers.

You glance at him with pure concern. His steely eyes are severely shadowed, a mixture of purple and grey forming under them. His ebony hair a mess as strands fail to form their usual shape. His desk is chaotic, with papers falling off to the floor, whether scanned or not.

You feel your chest tighten at the sight. This is no good. Two days have passed since everyone returned from the outside and he has not gotten any better. It’s understandable to work himself out the first day, but today shouldn’t be this much hard on him as well. He needs rest, and plenty of them.

You prep yourself as you stand up to try and convince the poor man out of his seemingly hell office. This will cause him no benefit.

“Levi,” you approach the Captain calmly, “what do you say we get out and drink some tea for a while to get you a few rest? Yes?” you smile in all hopes that he’d agree and choose to come with you.

He raises his head to look at you, and as your eyes connect with his, it’s like a thousand daggers stabbed your heart. He’s so exhausted but he doesn’t want to show it. “As much as I would like your offer, there’s still more unfinished work here and I don’t want to go slacking off without complying. But thank you otherwise.”

You are not going to give up on this.

“Levi, there are other days to do this. You don’t have to overwork yourself, in fact, you won’t finish early if you do work without any energy at all,” convincing him is one way. You wish he would just give in but he continues to sign the paper he’s previously reading, and then another, and another.

He stays quiet, not saying anything back to your proposal. He’s fixed with his rejection, but you have your spirit.

“I’m atleast going to get you your tea,” you walk away, leaving his office and sighing once you close the door behind you.

You don’t want to force him out of his state because that might stress him more, so you’ll continue to try your luck by offering and offering again.

You head to the kitchen to make a freshly brewed tea for your lover. You see Hange discussing something with the commander at the table. When Erwin sees you, he immediately asks the Captain’s whereabouts.

“He’s… still doing paperwork,” you sadly inform. Everybody’s well aware that expeditions will never avoid casualties and the responsibilities that will be dragged along with it.

“Shorty must be working himself off, huh,” Hange adjusts her glasses. You know they’re concerned for the Captain as well, even though they don’t say anything more about it.

“I’ll go now,” you smile before walking back to the office, holding Levi’s tea. You know the way he makes his tea, and he wants it perfect. Aside from himself, the only person he allows to make tea for him is you. You pray this would get him away from his desk.

Without the need to knock, you enter the room, flashing a small grin while walking up to the Captain.

“Here, I brought you some tea, it’s still hot so be extra careful.” It’s difficult finding a place for the teacup since documents are everywhere, but you clean up a spot and try to help in organizing his work.

“Thanks,” is the only thing that comes out of his mouth. Disappointed, you slowly turn your back to him, taking a step toward the couch again, but you stop midways.

“Can you lay beside me in 10? I found difficulty sleeping last night and I think I should get some rest since I have nothing else to do, and you should definitely get rest, too, so?” you suggest, not giving up on the sleep deprived man although the idea is a little weak and stupid so you know he is going to refuse right away.

“Go get your rest, I can’t leave this,” he says, not even lifting his gaze to you. You see how he still pulled off his usual nonchalant expression, nonetheless you could see right through him.

“Can I atleast help you out in any way?” you wish he would say yes, but for god’s sake, he shakes his head, holding his ground, “I don’t need your help,” as he mutters your name, his tone begins to turn so cold.

“But Levi… look at you, you’re a mess! You get no sleep these past nights, and you haven’t even eaten lunch yet! I get how this is important but you need to take care of yourself. Please—”

“Will you quit bothering me even just for once in your life?” He seethes vehemently, massaging his temples as he asks for his very own version of peace.

With that you fall silent, taken aback. Every word he insinuated stings really hard like there’s venom in it. You want to speak up for yourself and explain what you want for him, but he’s way too fixated with his objective to finish his work that he doesn’t even realize that he has caused you pain within just a few words.

You stare at the raven head dumbfoundedly, looking for words to say but you just can’t find your voice. Opening your mouth to speak is no avail. The dead silence dominates once again.

You finally decide to leave the room. Maybe it’s best you give him what he wants.

Levi thinks this it’s best, too, since he needs concentration and craves focus in hopes of lifting his conscience by clearing his responsibilities regarding every fallen soldier’s death. He doesn’t mean any harm to you. No, he would never want that. But his desire to fulfill his tasks has quite blinded him.

He raises his head to look at you, noticing your sudden silence. You’re about to turn around at the moment, but your glistening eyes fail to escape his sight.

His heart wretches by the view. You crying is the last thing he wants, especially if it’s because of him. But he’s frozen and unable to move. He’s too much of a coward to speak up and stop you from your track.

This really is his fault. All this time what you have been implying was for him to unwind even for a bit, yet all he did was ignore your sweet concern.

Your heavy footsteps echoed around the room. Tears have already fallen from your misty orbs, eventually dropping to the floor.

His attempt to call you out and apologize immediately after he lashed out is unsuccessful. You’re gone and not another word left one’s lips after what he said.

He places his palm across his face out of frustration. Too late is what he is right now. He fails to function more and more after minutes passed. He tries to go on with his work but he keep remembering the scene with you earlier. How your beautiful face of hope turned into an expression of agony and pain. None of this helps, “I have to fix this,” he murmurs to himself, afraid that you might grow distant as time passes by.

—

You wipe your eyes, fixing your appearance in an attempt to look decent before going to the mess hall to get your dinner.

Armin approaches you first, asking your condition. You’re clueless about what condition it is that he means but you figure it’s probably his immediate observation of your feelings at the second.

“Are you alright?” His eyes are curious and concerned, but you wave him off with a small smile, “I’m fine, Armin. You get too observant at times, don’t you? What’s for dinner?”

Joining the others, you eat slowly. You can’t help but think of your partner. This causes your stomach to swirl. You try your best to get him out of your mind.

“These mashed potatoes are awesome!” Sasha exclaims, munching like lightning. Christa giggles, finding Sasha’s addiction with potatoes adorable.

Eren smiles but stays quiet. Seems he is still affected by the previous expedition. He catches you looking at him and you smile.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asks. You nodded and ask him back, “How about you? Haven’t moved on from recently?”

He gives a small reassuring smile, “I’m coping.”

Conversations came and went. Everyone returns to their quarters to get some sleep, and you’re left all alone. The deafening sound of silence has dominated your ears. You heave out a sigh.

You finally erased Levi from your head for a while, but when you go to the kitchen for a tea, you almost immediately spot across the room the man you’re so desperately trying to avoid, sipping his own cup of tea while leaning against the table. It’s the one you made for him earlier, you could tell by the choice of teacup. But shouldn’t it be cold by now?

Abort.

You try to leave unnoticed but you hear him call you.

“Speak to me,” his tired eyes bore to your own broken ones, secretly pleading you to talk to him. He had dismissed his uniform jacket and only wore his undershirt. The sight of him just has to tear your heart into several pieces. You need to stay strong. You don’t want to shatter in front of him, or you’ll only end up burdening him.

I’m just a bother, after all.

You refuse to talk, so you leave the room in a rush. You feel your eyes mist again. You blink a few times to stop the tears from forming and run to the women’s quarters instead of Levi’s room, the one you both share every night without hitch.

The bed below Mikasa’s has been vacant ever since you stayed in Levi’s room. In your head, you thank all the walls that no one new had been recruited to your squad so that you can still use your bed from before for desperate times like this.

Everyone else is already asleep so you don’t have to answer their interrogations about what a miracle it is for you to spend the night in your old bed, without the Captain.

As you lay down, you close your eyes in hopes of falling asleep quickly, but your bed just feels lonely and sad. The mattress feels emptier than ever, and the atmosphere in the room feels dark, even if your comrades are complete in the same room.

You begin to toss and turn, recalling the scenes from earlier. This isn’t any help, but then again, being in the same room as Levi won’t do any of you good. You’d just distract him, like what you can only do.

On the other hand, behind your locked doors stands Levi, aiming to knock. And he did, but no one responds. Why? Why did you not respond? He knew you went there. He just knows it, because where else would you be? He knocks one more time and that’s when he guesses that you might be sleeping already. He knows better than to disrespect his other comrades’ privacy and enter without permission. With his conclusion, he finally heads back to his room and tries to finish all the messy paperwork, looking at the door once in a while, hoping for you to enter and ask him to rest with you. But you didn’t.

Tick, Tock.

The sound of the clock’s hands ticking feeds on the silence of the room. You wake up and there’s light already.

You shoot up from the bed. Mikasa is already awake, as you know she is the earliest of birds. She looks at you with amusement, and you roll your eyes.

“What in the world happened between you and Captain Levi for you to come back here?” she asks. You answered her with a grimace.

You change back into a spare uniform you had left in the quarters before heading to the mess hall once again. Levi is already there, seated with Erwin and the others. Hange offers you a seat unfortunately across Levi which you accept defeatedly, for there are no more available seats anywhere. Avoiding him is hard, and you should probably deal with constantly encountering him today. You have duties like cleaning in the morning and training after lunch, so a lingering Captain is not unnatural.

“What time did you sleep last night?” Levi asks, which you ignore. You scoop the hot soup and blow the steam off before sipping it. “Answer me,” no one could hear you conversing—scratch that—him speaking. Everyone from the table had a discussion that doesn’t include yhe two of you.

“Why did you not answer my knocks?” he asks once more but you only sip your tea. You so desperately wanted to answer him with a sarcastic, “because maybe I’m asleep, don’t you think?” but you stop yourself from doing so and stayed quiet.

His eyebrows twitch in annoyance. You think he has to deal with this. And he will, because there’s no way your pride will let you talk to him. Although you’re tough enough to convince yourself not to say a single word to him, you still feel guilt rushing through your veins. Aren’t times like these the times when you should understand him the most and swallow your pride?

But he said it himself didn’t he? He wants you to get off of his neck and quit pestering him, and you’re just one to follow.

You shake the thought away and continue eating. Soon after you finish, you all proceed to your cleaning duties. Apparently and unluckily, as if fate just doesn’t want to cooperate with you, you‘re assigned to clean the Captain’s room which is just downright unfair. At this point, talking to him will be inevitable.

You sigh exasperatedly with cleaning equipment in your hands. You try to convince Jean who hates cleaning the stables to exchange tasks, but he says he’d prefer picking horseshit with his bare hands than have to clean the Captain’s office. Aside from him, no one wants to swap tasks with you, knowing how hard it is to satisfy the Captain with some mediocre cleaning skills.

Accepting defeat once again, you knock three times before waiting for Levi’s reply, “name and business,” his certain cold voice replies.

“It’s me, I was assigned to clean your office.” Silence follows. You figure that you should enter and you don’t fail to notice the slightest smirk in Levi’s lips.

What an asshole.

Brushing aside the man’s presence, you go on and start sweeping the floor. You just want to finish this quickly to be able to get away from him.

“You’re sweeping too fast, you’re not picking up all the dust,” Levi remarks. You furrow your brows and roll your eyes heavenwards in total annoyance, “do it all over again,” he orders.

And you obey, quietly. Besides, it wouldn’t favor you if you object. You’d have to speak.

Meanwhile, Levi couldn’t take his eyes off you. He’s supposed to finish his “work” today but his mind is somewhere else. Of course he hasn’t forgotten yesterday. But what he said was not his intention.

You begin to mop.

“Did you wash that with soap?” he asks which you, once again, ignore. This is getting on his nerves. He wants to hear your voice. He wants to say he was sorry, but he couldn’t pick up the strength to do so because he’s afraid. Afraid he might hurt you again with his reckless words. Actually, no. He’s more than certain that he’d never throw you such words again. Rather, he’s more afraid that you would just shrug off his apology and keep giving him the cold shoulder. Then, he chooses not to speak anymore. Silence engulfs the room.

Tick, tock.

Once you finish cleaning, you leave the room. He didn’t even try to stop you from leaving or even just speak again. Why would he even do that anyways?

Afternoon comes and training quickly starts. Your hand to hand combat with Eren attracted a lot of attention from your mates. You’re now sweaty, fists tightly balled mid air. Eren’s fighting stance is now a little sloppy as he catches his breath. You chuckle at the sight. It’s now time to end this battle before he gets exhausted even more, you think with pure concern, an image of a tired Eren flashing through your head.

“Oi! Finish this already!” Jean cheers, on your side.

“You have to beat her, Eren! She just becomes stronger and stronger every session!” Sasha jokingly shouts with Armin laughing a bit on his own.

As the fight becomes more and more heated, you aim for his guts in the stomach as you perform a perfect uppercut once he’s distracted. And of course, you eventually win with that final move. He lays on the ground helplessly, not being able to stand up for ten seconds.

You offer your hand to him. He accepts it and you help him stand up. Slowly, the crowd gathered around you disperses and goes their separate ways. You stay with Eren. You’re fond of talking with your opponent right after a match like this.

“You seriously have to teach me some of your skills!” Eren says, catching his breath. You’re both heading inside.

You chuckle, “You’re getting better, kid,” you ruffle his hair. His shoulders slump down in annoyance. He’s well aware that he’s far from your abilities, not to mention, you’re the second in command of the Captain.

“I don’t understand how you’re shorter than I am, but you still manage to beat me and ruffle my hair like this!” You both laugh at his statement.

From your peripheral vision, you see Levi standing with crossed arms by your far left, looking at you and your companion. His dark aura radiates, taking over the atmosphere of the open field. Something tells you that he’s awfully jealous, but for what reason? Eren quickly notices.

“Hey, I think you should go to Captain right now, I don’t want him to think…” he hesitantly states.

“No, it’s okay,” you calmly assure him. A few moments later and it’s already dinner time, and you proceed to the mess hall once again.

You sit beside Eren, conversing with him about a couple of military equipment. You notice that Levi sit in front of you again, but you pay no attention, even though guilt cripples through your veins. You always sit beside him every meal, but for the fourth time, you don’t.

You continue to discuss about certain materials that the 3DMG is composed of, educating Eren of their functions. As you sip on your tea, you notice Levi staring firmly at you, his gaze never leaving. But you refuse to acknowledge his steel grey eyes, standing by your principle of giving him the silent treatment.

You finish your meal and get up to bring your plates to the sink. Just as you’re about to leave, you’re approached by the sight of your Captain glaring at your soul.

You’re at a loss for words. Not that you want to talk anyway.

“I’m telling you, if you still don’t speak to me…” he says, blocking your way.

Levi crosses his arms. “You’re enjoying the whole day with that brat, aren’t you?” he begins to converse. “What are you even talking about? The both of you? You were talking non-stop, woman.” You stare at him with an emotionless expression. Slight anger and frustration dance in his tired and sleepless eyes. This only confirms your thoughts from earlier that he is, indeed, jealous. “And you even ended that match with him because you didn’t want to drain his energy,” he adds. He knows, he can read his lovely, caring girl so well. You care about everyone half the time, and he doesn’t want to admit, but right now, he is jealous.

He’s wearing his white button down shirt and suspenders. He has never failed to attract you with even the most common outfits and uniform. How can he be just so hot?

You shake your thoughts away, trying to walk past him but he grips your wrist and pulls you back in front of him. “Tell me, have you perhaps… had a change of heart?” Surprised, you quickly look at your lover’s eyes, and find they’re filled with loneliness and sorrow. You feel your heart shattering into thin little shreds. I can’t handle this sight!

You weaken with his touch, you want to tell him no, you could never do that and that you love him and him only, but you stay silent that you’re almost convinced you were now mute.

“Shit,” he curses, ruffling his hair out of frustration before he drags you away from that place. Your heart races and you couldn’t think straight. You miss him, and you can’t deny how hard a day is without him.

Tick, Tock.

The next thing you know you’re in his immensely cold and silent office, pinned to the wall like a prey being feasted on by its predator.

“You’re driving me crazy, and I hate it, woman,” his eyes are dark, like his emotions have been making him lose it. You look away, avoiding his gaze but to no avail. He lifts your chin and direct your face to his.

“Look, this cold treatment you’re giving me is not helping anyone. I’m more distracted than I could ever be and I haven’t finished the same damn pile of paperwork from yesterday until now. So just talk to me, and let’s get out off this mess,” he calmly states in a quiet manner, as if trying to own his mistakes by acting well behaved.

By this time, you know he already regrets his previous actions. And even though you’re no stranger to Levi’s tall walls and his apathetic behavior, you just had to make him voice out his apologies.

“Speak…” You look at him in his eyes filled with mixed emotions. Rage, loss, guilt, sorrow, doubt. You’re the only one among everyone who can see this because you’re the only one he can be vulnerable with. Once again, you feel your heart break into pieces.

“Levi…” His face lightened up with your call. Your voice is soft and mellow. Finally, you spoke! It was such a torture, a day without your beautiful voice. The poor Captain is glad to hear you again, but is taken aback by your next words, so he cuts you off before you could even finish. “Maybe we should just—”

“Fuck! Wait! Don’t fucking do this to me, I’m sorry! I’m a jerk… I know, I know. Give me another chance, hey…” Your eyes widen at his pleas. Overflowing fear and nervousness are written in his misty steel orbs. He frantically holds your hands and you could feel his desperation.

“What?” you ask in genuine confusion. You’re glad he said his sorries, but why is he acting like you were going to leave him?

“Come on… don’t you dare leave me. I’m sorry.” And there you could tell how afraid he is. He’s afraid by your choice of words, he thought you were going to leave him and now he’s so desperate of making you stay.

You slowly rest your palms on his cheeks, “Levi… you got this wrong, I was just going to—” He places his hands on top of yours before interrupting again.

“Hey… you don’t have to end things, let’s not be so sudden with our decisions and let’s talk about this—” his voice is weak and silent that you can’t bear it anymore. “Levi! I am not going to end things and leave you! Have you gone crazy?” you scold in a manner of wishing he would just stop panicking.

“I was going to say that maybe we should just be careful next time and not be so reckless with our words. You just didn’t let me finish!” you chuckle as you notice his realization. He winces, his glowing eyes now dried from the threatening tears. You’re glad not a single drop escaped, you can’t see him crying or you’ll lose it.

“Fuck, I sounded so desperate,” he hisses and averts his gaze, making you drop your hands. You can almost feel your heart melt. He regrets his mistakes and at the same time, he’s horrified to lose you.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles in an almost inaudible tone. You want him to look you in the eye. His apathetic self have caused him to say the expression almost never, and you want to feel his sincerity in a rare occasion like this. You guide his face to your own. “What is it? I didn’t hear,” you tease, playing innocent.

He grimaces, an indication that he doesn’t want to repeat. But for you, he will. “I said I’m sorry, so don’t do that again,” his tone returns to his popular authoritative one, and at that moment you know you should obey.

“Don’t do what?” You bite your lips to stifle a smirk. He is so amusing when helpless, you’re beginning to think this was a good idea!

“Give me the cold shoulder like I’m some stranger or whatever the fuck,” he furrows his brows as he glares straight into your eyes.

“Alright, Captain.” You giggle and tiptoe to reach his soft lips with your own, kissing him intensely like how you missed him. And he answers your kisses like how he missed you, too.

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