chikoystuff-blog

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Parents

I chose to interview my father, since my mother wasn’t to comfortable with sharing her childhood.

My father was raised in a Traditional, Filipino, Catholic, God-fearing family. The patriarch, his father, was the breadwinner while the matriarch, his mother, was the homemaker. He was brought up being taught to always respect the wishes of his parents but he was still given the liberty and freedom to choose his own path. He lived a modest life growing up in his family and he was always taught to make ends meet throughout his whole childhood. One memory he mentioned that sort of summed up his childhood according to him was what he used to do when he was in grade 3. They used to have quail birds in their garden and every early morning before he went to school, he used to gather the eggs that the birds laid the night before. He would then boil them for around thirty minutes and bring them to school to sell tho his teachers and classmates. He had to be mindful and careful while commuting since he had eggs in his bag. The money he got from this was not used for his own expenses but instead his mother opened a junior bank account for him wherein he placed all the revenue and saved it. Every Christmas, his mom would then allow him to withdraw 10% of the money in the account and use it to buy whatever he wanted.This exercise instilled the values of hardwork and simplicity in him, which he never forgot about. The deep core values taught to my father was what he also used to raise me. The way he was raised was the same way he raised me, but while considering the differences in our generation and developments in things such as technology.

The inter-generational patterns that I could point out are the core values anchored in honoring God, our country, and family. It could be seen throughout all the generations in our family that we all have values that are centered in being God-fearing, nationalistic and family centered. To be specific, my family has deep religious convictions which spans through the varied aspects of life whether it be at home, school or at work. Hearing mass, participating in the holy sacraments, attending religious feasts and other celebrations were a norm to all of us growing up. For me this was helpful, as it gives my family and I a central base. It is a purpose and a guide to how we live. It also brings us together as a family and bonds us through the different religious activities. Since these patterns are helpful and to me, extremely vital to having a healthy family, I will keep them going through my future family by teaching my kids about our religion.

My father, when asked about my childhood, often mentions how competitive I was in whatever I did. I always had this fire burning in me to accomplish tasks given to me with excellence. During competitions held in school, whether it was in sports, academics or performing arts, I always pursued that number one position, which I often got. He mentioned that time there was a drawing contest in pre-kinder, when I was around 4years old, that I really wanted to win. They found out about it since I was drawing on the walls of our house. They got mad, but not too mad. They just stressed on why it was the wrong place to do so. They then gave me other materials to practice and even encouraged me to do so. This made me feel happy instead of guilty. I ended having a purpose in what I was doing, to make my parents, who were supportive of what I was doing, proud. This can be compared to Erikson’s 3rd stage of development. I’d say that my development in my childhood was pretty good. I’m the youngest out of four of us siblings in the family so my parents already had a general idea of how to raise a child and adapt to my needs. Hope, will, purpose, competency, and fidelity were things I was able to get through my parents so I’d my development a score of 10, very syntonic.

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The window

I wasn’t too surprised with my results in this activity if I’m being completely honest. I’m the type of person who knows what he needs to show and hide towards other people. In simpler terms, I’m someone who can adjust how I am when depending on the people I’m with. 

The adjectives and traits written by people about me were pretty predictable. These are things that I’m definitely aware of and sometimes I’m just too shy to admit having them. I think the main reason why I didn’t put these words myself is that I believe these are surface traits. These are shallow descriptions of myself and I wouldn’t really consider them if I were to really reflect on myself. I’m not saying that these things written about me are untrue or not accurate, it’s just that they are things I don’t really put that much effort into showing and are just a mandatory sort of front for me to show.

Most of the words I described myself with, on the other hand, were usually much deeper and harder to grasp. These were things people around me would never really notice unless they took time to observe and get to know me. Only people who are really close to me would be able to point out these features of mine. The main reasoning for this is because I only start to show these characteristics of mine when I comfortable with the people around me. I choose when to show this side of me, and I usually make sure the person or people I’m with when I do show it are people I trust to a certain extent.

I was kind of surprised that me having resolve was something both my classmates and I put. This was one of the only two things that was in that part of the window (the other wasn’t that surprising hehe). I’m guessing that my resolve is something that sticks to people and to my name. Usually, when I’m put in situations, I think carefully and decide on a plan of action that I always stick to. I am clear when I do this, and precise with what I do. Especially in arguments and discussions, I always present my side clearly and as cohesive as possible. Maybe it’s something that I really like about myself and at the same time something others admire about me? I’m not sure but I’m kind of glad that it actually showed up in that part of my window. It’s nice to see how people can recognize a good trait in you that you recognize as well.

Generally, I found this activity very interesting. It was a way for me to see how others see me and actually reflect on how I see myself. It was also a test on myself, If i was still able to adapt and control what I show to different people. I was relieved that I still could do that, and I was really content with the results of the activity. There were things that came up as expected but there were also some surprises. Thankfully, the results of the descriptions were positive in my opinion. This activity gave me more confidence in showing my personality more and reassured me of certain traits that I wasn’t sure was noticed by other people.

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The Past 2 Weeks

(Blog Entry 5 and 6)

Upon taking the self-compassion scale and seeing my results, I noticed how I do give enough myself enough slack. My score showed me how I have enough self-compassion and how I’m very particular about my own well-being. However, it’s not to the point wherein I make excuses for myself or give reasons for myself to justify my mistakes. For example, I am self-compassionate enough to comfort myself when I fail my test, but I still promise myself to study more; accepting that it was the lack of my effort which caused the situation instead of other excuses such as blaming the teacher or the test. For me, it is extremely important to have self-compassion but at the same time, it should have its limit for the greater good of the person. I do believe in the saying, “too much of anything is bad for you” and self-compassion is no exemption from this. 

What I plan to do this coming week is to reflect on one particular thing I’m thankful for each day. Through this, I believe that this will help me have a more positive outlook in everyday life and will make me realize all the blessings I have around me.

Monday

I’m grateful for my Dad since he gave me my allowance for the week. This allowance is what I use to buy food and drinks for school. I’m blessed enough to have an allowance that will let me go through the day without the problem of fearing not having any means to nourish myself. I understand that I have this privilege, something not a lot of kids my age in the Philippines have which is why I’m thankful to my Dad for his hard work to let me live comfortably.

Tuesday

I’m thankful for my dog Scottie. He actually woke me up today. I accidentally snoozed my alarm for my 8am class and I never would have woken up if it wasn’t for my dog waking me up since he needed to pee. I woke up annoyed thinking it was still so early and when I checked my phone it was already quarter to 8. I rushed and got ready for school and made it to my 8am class only being 5 minutes late. It was the same session of that class wherein my prof decided to give a graded activity. Blessings come in the weirdest of ways and today it was through my dog saving my Theo 11 grade.

Wednesday

I’m thankful for my driver. Even if he does get paid to drive for me, he still does it with kindness. Kuya Tiago has been with our family for around 15 years already, driving for us whenever we needed him. He was always kind and cheerful no matter the time. Even when my siblings and I would go out and go home late, he still greets us with a happy tone when we come back for our ride home. He even taught me how to drive and park, which required a lot of patience and courage knowing how bad of a driver I was before. I’m so grateful that he’s always been there for us, to the point that I can say he is part of our family already.

Thursday

I’m thankful for my sister. My sister and I don’t get along most of the time but today she brought me home some doughnuts. She even picked out my favorite kind, the one with the sprinkles on top. It’s nice to see she thinks about doing nice things for me as I do as well for her sometimes despite our petty fights.

Friday 

I’m thankful to my friend Marco. He’s been my friend since grade 10 and hasn’t left my side ever since. Today we made kuwento about what’s been happening in our lives. It was great catching up with him despite all the college stress and it comforts me to know I have a friend like him I can call up anytime.

Saturday

I’m thankful for my Brother. He helped me pick out a certain fabric for the suit I was gonna have made. He also helped me decide on which color to go for. My brother has always been my inspiration in terms of fashion and presenting one’s self. He has taught me everything about it and I’m so grateful that I had him as a brother.

Sunday

I’m thankful for God. God has always been the center of my life. I was brought up this way and grew up understanding why I do it more and more. His love guides me through my everyday life and my faith in Him gives me the motivation to do my best in things such as school and org work. When I’m having a rough time, He is usually the first one I turn to. Today I was having a bad morning, fighting with my girlfriend and dealing with a rumor that as spreading. I was extremely annoyed at everything so I took my mind of it and focused on the mass we were about to hear. Through this, I cleared my thoughts and asked God for strength and guidance in dealing with everything. Praying and hearing mass helped me calm down and fix my problems properly and reasonably. I ended up making up with my girlfriend that night and handling the rumor well.

This exercise was quite different for me. I never really look back at my day and look for things I’m grateful for. This activity made me realize how good of a habit this was. Having a quick reflection of your day is so helpful in managing your emotions and staying positive. It gives me the motivation to tackle the next day, knowing there will be more things that I can be thankful for. I plan to try my best in putting a constant effort into continuing this exercise daily and if not at least thrice a week. This already made me so much more positive after 2 weeks of doing so, what more if I continued even more.

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System 0

This week was pretty interesting in my opinion. I can confidently say that it was probably one of the most interesting weeks so far, in terms of the topics which were discussed in class. One of the main topics was how the mind works, reacts, and executes. 

The topic on the use of 2 certain systems on how your mind thinks and acts was extremely interesting to me. I was actually thinking of applying for Psychology when I was thinking of what courses I wanted, which makes me even more drawn to this topic. What makes me even more interested to it is the fact that I often wonder why I do certain things randomly and automatically. It often gets the job done, but sometimes goes bad and bites me in the arse. The reading by Kahneman, talked about how we have two models of thinking in our brains naturally. System 1 works quickly, effortlessly, and voluntarily. This is what we often use when engaging in habits and other things we usually do frequently. System 2, on the other hand, gives attention to effortful mental activities that require it. This system is usually used in sort of difficult situations that need concentration and careful decision-making. It was really interesting for me to finally have an explanation as to why some things I do automatically, even when I’m not supposed to. This often happens when I do something that seems similar to another thing that I actually do a lot, which makes my brain think I’m doing the regular thing. It tricks my mind into using system 1 which makes so much sense as to how involuntary the use of system 1 is. System 2 was always a giveaway for me, since I’ve always known the careful, concentrated process of thinking my brain undergoes, but I still appreciated finally knowing the definitions and what makes up this system of thinking.

I’m usually a guy who overthinks things, which is probably why I was so interested in this topic. My system 2 is always used, especially when system 1 has recently messed things up for me. It was a really good read and I hope to have more readings which touches on concepts about the human mind.

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In control?

I’ve always been a person who has been able to control his emotions really well. Even if I was a hothead as a kid, I grew up to manage my temper and all my other emotions really well. The only problem I see with how I control my feeling self is that I sometimes bottle some of my emotions up and forgetting to let them out in times necessary.

When I get upset with something or someone is the time I usually end up bottling my emotions up. Although I let people know how I feel, I never really allow myself to feel the emotions that I know won’t be productive or proper for the situation. I guess I was just brought up in that way, to be always proper and to appropriate my actions to the occasion at hand. Because of this, I just push the negative emotions down my throat and suck it up until I forget about it. 

Why is that a problem? Well, most times I find myself exploding at my tipping point. Because of all the bottled up feelings, my emotions can burst at the smallest of reasons at any time they are triggered.  It’s so embarrassing to burst out like that at times, and it seems that bottling up my emotions to be proper at times will just lead me to burst in unexpected times.

Knowing all of this, I’ve been trying to find outlets for my emotions to avoid bottling them up so badly. I’ve tried working out in the gym and playing basketball as outlets for some of my emotions and they’ve really helped. Talking about these emotions I feel, in times appropriate of course, also help a ton especially with close friends. Being in control of my emotions isn’t really helpful if I’ll end up just losing control after a while, which is why I’m trying my best to fix it.

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Blog Entry 2

If i were to be completely honest, I’m a person who has had it easy for the most part of my life. I’m an 18 year old male Filipino with very light brown skin, black hair and a decent height at 5′10. I was raised by a well-off family who have been emotionally, physically, and spiritually supportive up to now. I’m a Roman Catholic who believes in the natural goodness of humans and I’d like to think that I’m generally a good person. I take my religion seriously and it is my main purpose in life to live according to its teachings even if I fail at times.

Because of all of this, life has been pretty decent for me. People usually treat me well and with respect. But given that, I’d also like to think that i get treated that way not because of my physical appearance or social class, but because of how I am as a person and how I treat all those around me. Despite that, there are still times I get treated with prejudice and privilege. For example, because of my skin color, people usually have first impressions of me being a foreigner. This makes people feel pressured to use English, but in reality, I’m as Filipino as anyone else in the country. Another example is my gender. As a guy I’m less likely to be a victim of rape and sexual harassment, given the context of our country. But then again, I’m also more likely to be accused of doing these crimes in the sense of certain double standards. For a final example, my religion has also affected me very much in different ways. I’m usually expected to strictly follow all teachings of the bible at all times. If not, it is most likely that I will be called a hypocrite and be shamed by other members of my religion. On the other hand, it also gives me a reason to strive to be a good person at all times.

A hindrance that may affect me in my college life is my laziness. The main reason for my laziness is the fact that I can cram really well. I was brought up in a family wherein cramming was considered a very bad habit so I was always asked to do things early when I was a kid. When I got older and more independent, my parents let me be with my study habits which caused me to develop a habit of procrastinating. The fact that I get good results from this makes me become even more of a procrastinator/lazy person. I’ve never been outside of the honor roll, never failed a subject, and never missed submitting a requirement despite my procrastination. But this may change in college, since time management is so important. Being lazy will definitely hinder me from what I want to achieve, which is why I aim to change.

The resources that will help me in college for sure are my connections from friends and my financial support from my parents. I never have to worry about not having money for school supplies, tuition or activities which puts away a heavy burden that some people unfortunately have. Also get to excel in academics through the help of my friends in reviewing and studying together. Through my connections from friends, I am able to ask for different study tips, advice and reviews. It’s even better when my connections have taken a class before me. They are able to help me get through it as how they did while I do the same for them. For these resources I am extremely grateful for and I definitely do not put them to waste. I recognized that I was lucky enough to have them, which is why I use them to their fullest as much as possible.

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Inside out, let it flow as life goes.

Inside out was a film I watched a few years ago and I distinctly remember it as a movie that at first I thought was a boring, weird childrens’ movie. But after watching it the whole way through, I realized how much I related to some of the lessons and events in the movie. I was ecstatic when I found out i had to watch it again for my SocSci class, given that it was close to being thrown into my very own Memory Dump.

One part of the film that struck me was when Joy and Sadness were both fighting about a sad memory. Joy wanted to get rid of it while Sadness argued how it was a core memory and it should be kept. Because of this, the headquarters of the emotions plunge into chaos while Joy and Sadness are accidentally brought to the long term memory island. This struck me since i likened it to when I’m being conflicted with my emotions. There are times wherein I’m confused about what emotion I’m exactly feeling.  Because of this confusion, I usually stress out and it only brings bad things.I absolutely hate it when I’m unsure of what to feel. Conflicting emotions stress me out and makes me do things I usually end up regretting. This why when I watched this scene, I really related to it.

Another part of the film which struck me was when Bing Bong sacrificed himself in order to get Joy out of the memory dump. That scene almost made me cry, and I’m someone who never cries in movies. It’s cause it reminded me how we have to forget certain things in life in order for us to grow. That there really are things that are temporary in life, things that only come by for a certain period in your life with a limited purpose. It made me feel nostalgic about my past. How I no longer play with the friends I use to play with everyday outside my old house. How I no longer talk to some people who thought were gonna be with me for life. It just reminded me of how some things are really meant to be temporary, and sometimes those are vital for some constant things in life to remain (exactly how Bing Bong sacrificed himself so that Joy could reach HQ again).

The last part that struck me in the film was when Joy learned how important Sadness was. It was kind of hard for me to accept it myself, but sorrow is something we must feel as humans. It’s the whole reason why we even know what happiness feels like. There will really be times wherein we will feel down and all out sad, but that’s okay. It’s normal to feel sad about something, I dare even to say that it is required for us to even feel sad in order to feel happiness.Like in the film, one of Riley’s happiest memories was caused by a sad memory. Same thing applies to everyone, there really are times wherein we feel like trash and just flat out sad which then leads to happiness. Life really is a wild ride.

Watching this movie really reminded me how much I loved it before. It’s because of all the lessons you can learn from the movie which makes it such a gem. It reminded me how important it is for humans to have emotions that work together to make us function like human beings. It reminded me how each and every person has a different memories, long term, core or even dumped, which molded them to who they are now. It made me remember how important it is to put yourself in other peoples’ shoes and to understand them before judging them for what they do or feel. It also reminded me how important it is to just let my emotions flow as is. It’s not right to ignore emotions and keep them at the back of my head. It’ll end up just being bottled up and exploding sooner or later.

I’m usually the type to ignore feelings I’m unsure of or don’t like at all, and rewatching the film reminded me of how unhealthy that practice was. I didn’t even realize I was doing so until after I watched the film again. It’s really scary how you don’t even realize how you’re dealing with emotions sometimes. It woke me up, to be more conscious about my feelings and how I deal with them. I need to remember that at times, you really just need to let your emotions flow.