cherryicepie

[cherryicepie]

I know no one knows that I've been posting here consistently for a few days but I do and I haven't really posted today because I've been on a train for 6.5 hours and it was horrendous

I'm sure I'll write a poem about it tomorrow or smth but for tonight I'm going to cuddle my dog and go to bed

[cherryicepie]

4am

The beeping wakens me from my dream

Groggy and confused I look around the room

I know I heard it but it's gone now

Surrounded in silence and darkness I beg sleep to find me again

But she is gone now

[cherryicepie]

Nuh-uh it means I'm a badass

Shop

[cherryicepie]

Why are like 4 people I know at Halloween horror nights in florida?! I'm jelous

[cherryicepie]

As a child my grandmother tried to teach me how to knit

I would make mistakes and it ended up messy so she would tear oit what I had done and re-do It herself

I never finished the scarf I started

When I got older I tried for years to leaen how to crochet but it always looked bad

My gran said it wasn't so hard and I should keep trying

When she was in hospital for a long time I would go after school and sit there for hours

When she was conscious we would watch TV or a film

All the while I was trying and trying to make something that wasn't a mess

Tearing out my work and starting again the way she used to

My grandmother has been dead for nearly 4 years now

For nearly 4 years I have been able to knit and crochet anything I want

I'm not sure if I believe in an afterlife

I do believe that somehow she managed to pass her skills on to me

[cherryicepie]

from around age fifteen i stopped closing my curtains at night

as usual i couldnt sleep so i would look up at the stars and talk to the moon

i sleep much better now but i still dont close the blinds

a different house

different windows

but the stars and moon are still the same

[cherryicepie]

When the air is cold and its dark I like to look at the neon signs. It reminds me of those days with you before you turned cruel

[cherryicepie]

I step out into the garden hoping to catch a glimpse of the purple and pink streaks meant to be painted across the night sky

Looking up I see a canvas of darkness obscured by the lights surrounding me

I close one eye and try to block out the street lamp with one hand

My view on the sky gets cleared but it is blanketed in dark clouds

[cherryicepie]

My mum says I have weird looking toes

She's not wrong

[cherryicepie]

Beggs bacon and beans

[cherryicepie]

I feel my age these days. I know I'm not necessarily old but I don't feel like I did when I was young you know? The excitement of things. Just feeling alive. This time of year always feels odd to me now, I know I like it but the cold breeze doesn't feel the same anymore

I wish things were simpler

So thats why I'm here, social media these days stresses me out. I was never a tumblr girl even when I was a "tumblr girl" (I saw a lot of tumblr on my pintrest so that's smth ig) I'm not really sure what I'm doing but here I am