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via weheartit

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dîner

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Concrete for Brains

“Concrete for brains,” some might say when speaking of you. “Not too far from the truth,” I might jokingly coincide. Yet, we are all, as a matter of a fact, quite far from the truth. You’re hard-headed, a mutt- derived from a tough breed. You put up a strong front, I don’t think that I have ever met someone who has such an intense blockade hindering peering eyes from uncovering your true identity. It’s almost fool-proof, your front, almost impenetrable. They say “bullshit knows bullshit,” and in the case of you and I, I find that most incredibly applicable given our uncannily similar upbringings. So, I can see through your hardened exterior and you, likely through mine. You’re stubborn and tough to read and you’re often fed the short end of the stick, but you’re built tough. Built to withstand adversity and built to decipher character which has kept your head above water for nearly nineteen years. You’re hard-headed, tough, and near impossible to dissect- unique from anyone I’ve ever met. 

But maybe I’m romanticizing an ill-conceived fantasy. Maybe you do, in fact, have concrete for brains.

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you’re fucked up and so am I- so shut up and stop pretending you can’t feel anything.

Some people are very hard on the outside, but soft on the inside. This may sound far too vague, so allow me to elaborate further. I do not believe that some men, some women- are exempt from falling in love. Deep down in there, we are all the same, we all desire to love and be loved; no one is so hardened that they cannot fathom reciprocating a love that they are genuinely receiving. Everyone is a little fucked up, and everyone is chasing solace for that fucked up part: and the remedy is love. 

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pose

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by ig: @hrtvsmnd_by_sandra

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Two souls are sometimes created together and in love before they’re even born.

F. Scott Fitzgerald / The Beautiful and Damned (via bnmxfld)

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words I wrote at 1:30 am.

It’s discerning how badly humans crave love. We desire it more than anything, a comfort that seems to be always out of reach. The pinnacle of happiness has become enthralled with this idea of finding that perfect ‘someone,’ your soulmate. You can say what you want, deny that you desire to love and be loved, but at the end of the day, none of us want to die alone. So we set out on this ravenous hunt for love, like a castaway desperately seeking life or land. We yearn for someone to reach our lives, anyone who can make us feel as though the world is not an empty void that solely exists for housing strange organisms until their eventual perish. We crave love and fear loneliness so immensely that we begin to ignore the warnings or ‘red flags,’ which appear upon our most recent infatuation. The mind has a funny way of blinding our instincts when it comes to love. It’s easy for one to say that they have standards, a checklist of characteristics that a possible beau must maintain, but sooner or later, when it becomes apparent that no potential love interest will truly live up to all those standards, we let the standards dissipate.

So, we allow ourselves to fall- maybe he or she is the right person- or maybe you should have listened to your standardized checklist, but nonetheless, we become enamoured with not only this person but the idea of a fictional future with them. When you are young, dating is more of a game, it’s a Russian roulette of, “who will I bone tonight?” There is no endgame, but of course, that is understandable, given that teenagers are in the period of life where recklessness, carelessness and “living in the moment,” are all characteristics to be supported. But as you grow older, I guess everything becomes sadder. Screwing random people every other night becomes depressing rather than impressive. We throw up these barriers that say “I’m okay being alone,” but at the end of the day we’re not, and all we’re really doing is furthering our notion that we don’t need anyone but ourselves, that a constant state of independence is noble or admirable, because we’re strong and capable. But eventually, down the line, that notion disintegrates as we recognize our loneliness. Though it may come in waves and not always a scenario in which we break down into an emotional wreck, the sensation is always there, like an incessant and bothersome faint ringing in your ear that you just can’t seem to shake out. So we try again to find our “soulmate.” But how does one do so? Does one have hopeful hookups which always amount to disappointment and shame? Or does one do nothing and allow fate to take its course? All anyone wants is to be cared for, protected and nurtured. Humans were built requiring love, just as a novel requires words.

- b.G.b