cheers-to-no-tears

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“What was the happiest moment of your life?” “I don’t think I have one yet but it’s probably coming up and it’s going to be a surprise.”

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I hate when teachers leave a ’?’ when they grade my work. Like mate I dont know whats going on either.

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im sorry to everyone who has ever tried to talk to me and then realized my communication skills are equivalent to a stale piece of bread

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im sick of being a person! im gonna go into the woods and lay down in the dirt and become a geological feature. and none of you are powerful enough to stop me

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amazon, i will absolutely consider these items.

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Just the thought of that happening gives me anxiety

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privacy PSA

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Uh, Minnie, I have something to tell you…

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I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

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i love the implication here that he doesn’t usually exist in the real world