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[cheche-dotharl]

Nightmare

|| It starts slowly, quietly. First the sound of one person running, breathing heavily. Then two, then six, then dozens, hundreds, thousands. Incoherent cries and shouts join in to add to the chorus; the tang of aether hits your mouth. Soon there’s cannon fire in your ears. Occasionally you catch the soft release of a bowstring. You see people beside you – a sea of people in different colored uniforms but the same patterns. Comrades. Your side. A wave against a dark, faceless enemy. No, not faceless – they all sport the same face. They never seem to stop coming.

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[cheche-dotharl]

Bʏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴀᴅɪᴀɴᴄᴇ, I ᴀᴍ ᴜɴᴅᴏɴᴇ

[cheche-dotharl]

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goodbye pot stealer

[cheche-dotharl]

[cheche-dotharl]

There's no map to it, the way to... not normal. Normal is a myth. But something better, at least. Sleeping a couple of bells at a time turns to three, then four. Making it a whole night without the sudden startle, your mind shouting Get Up, Get UP Damn You!! only to find blessed quiet, broken by the soft breaths of dreaming.

No handbook, no guide to tell you when these trials end. Only a hand to reach for as you breathe deeply. Lay back down. Brush your hair out of your eyes; it's grown long enough for that. You're the only one awake this time. Good. Maybe that too is a promising sign. You weren't loud. Sleeping on your back is comfortable again. The second time in a year.

And should it prove a bad night, where you have to get up to read or step outside, the sheets are still warm. You are not the only one who can keep a bed cozy.

Your nameday came and you got drunk. For once not to forget it was your nameday. Though maybe you'd like to forget the cost of the wine. The rest can stay. It sits in an odd spot right now, tucked between old discomforts and newer joy. But, as you've been told-- patience and time.

Time can erode. Time can also burnish, giving the past a brighter glow than it had. They'll never call you an optimist. Still, you very much like the idea that what you are told, at long last, may be what really comes to pass.

[cheche-dotharl]

Planet Vega by Mira Nedyalkova

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You saw how she fought, with spells and steel? She’s one of those heroes Papa told us about: a Crimson Duelist. …Aren’t you?

[cheche-dotharl]

ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ'ᴍ ᴀ ꜱɪɴɴᴇʀ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴀ ꜱᴀɪɴᴛ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀᴅ- ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏᴛ ʀᴇʟɪɢɪᴏɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ'ʟʟ ᴛɪᴘ ᴍʏ ʜᴀᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ!

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[cheche-dotharl]

october, mary oliver

[cheche-dotharl]

LFRP: Nathaniel

I am currently looking for new role-play partners. I’ll be starting with my Priest of Nald'thal, Nathaniel. Nathaniel is a particular character of a particular flavor: I highly encourage to check his additional information if this interests you. Role-play will be done exclusively in-game!

I come out of a very straining (albeit rewarding) role-play campaign and I am looking to branch out from my usual group and meet new players.

OVERVIEW:

Name: Nathaniel of Salem 

Ethnicity: Hyuran (Half-Highlander, Half-Midlander)

Age: 41 years 

Nationality: Ul'dahn 

Occupation: Priest of Nald'thal 

Known Proficiencies: Tutelage, Rhetorics, Sorcery, Enchantments, Theology, Aetherochemistry, Ul'dahn History, Exorcism, Swordsmanship.

HOOKS:

Foreign contacts. Nathaniel is looking to better his relationships with merchants and noblemen from beyond his borders. The character is new to Ul'dah and needs a caretaker: Nathaniel has been chosen for the task.

Private tutoring for Ul'dahn nobility. For all of his Royalist nonsense, Nathaniel’s skills are undeniable. The character is a young, promising nobleperson whose parents or caretakers reluctantly chose Nathaniel as a new private tutor for the discipline of their choice. 

Student of the Ossuary or Phrontistery. Perhaps you enjoy the man’s lectures more than you thought you would, and are in need of personal help for a project.

In need of spiritual guidance. […] Maybe your character has elected him as their personal counselor and comes to consult him every now and then for comfort and confidence’s sake.

AND Anything you would be available to work with, or have ideas for! I am very open to pre-established relationships, for as long as they are modular and superficial.

More hooks, character information and player contact information here:  https://crystalline-mean.carrd.co/#nathaniel

[cheche-dotharl]

“I am not asking for him to be spotless. I know there is too much blood on his hands to ever be wiped clean as he was when he was ten years old and the only blood he knew came from scraped knees and swollen knuckles. I am not asking for him to be free. I know that his hands are tied to his weapons now. I find blades under his skin, and mines buried in his heart, and bullets clenched between his teeth. I have spent hours picking out gunpowder residue from under his fingernails and between the lines of his palms. I know that his feet will always drag under the weight of a world he only thought to save. I am not asking for a miracle. I am not asking for the sun and the stars to move for him. I am not asking for a do-over, a fresh start, a time machine. I am not asking for absolution, even though I say he has done nothing wrong. I am not even asking for happiness, even though he damn well deserves it. All I am asking is a little peace so that he may sleep without his fists clenched battle-ready at his sides and ice dripping from his bones.”

— prayer from a soldier’s lover ( j.p. )

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(…) her heart had filled with the worst desire to live.

Clarice Lispector, ed. by Benjamin Moser and tr. by Katrina Dodson, The Complete Stories (via weltenwellen)

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I’m haunted By the lives that wove the web Inside my haunted head

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“She turned toward him and he kissed her curious and lovely mouth.”

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Now and then he would reach over and just brush her forearm with his fingertips, a way of saying, non-threatening, I’m here. I’m listening.

[cheche-dotharl]

☄️️