charmwisp

[charmwisp]

Any perceived similarities or differences to Candyland were not something on which Rika could comment with too much confidence. Or, indeed, any confidence at all. Even the simple, base-level fact of it being a board game would have been lost on her if not for the context. (At least both games have the fact they'd been bought out by Hasbro in common, not that it helps much here!) It took her a few moments to register what it was she was being shown, before she was forced to regard Bandit with a look of particular confusion. "Well, that depends; do you believe in ghosts and/or inviting trouble into your own life?" Rika asked, brows furrowed in a sort of mock-dramatic display. For her own part, she'd never really made a clear decision on how she felt about ghosts. Or most things, really. Ironic, considering... well, everything. "A lot of people think you shouldn't play around with these, though. Did you get it from one of the stalls here?"

As for the announcement, Rika was very clear how she felt about that one and it wasn't good. She'd gotten very used to trusting her gut. If she had a bad feeling about something, usually that was with good cause. Between the Ouija board and this, all this talk of games may have been making her head spin a little. "I don't know but I don't like it. Lady luck won't shine kindly? What is that? A threat?"

@charmwisp at the weekend of horrors, after 8PM on the last day

"Oh, so, this isn't like Candyland..." A scrutinizing narrow of her brow down at the alleged board game that she'd purchased, and now couldn't return with the final days of pop-up shoppes shuttered for business, didn't pay any mind to the distant barking of dogs and what sounded like what they'd call a civil court case for animal-based damages, lips pursed and their bob of hair gently caressed by the soft breeze that was whispering through the streets. "Think we could play this if there's gonna be no movie?" She held up the Ouija board to her spooky-scary gal pal, who wasn't so scary at all ( and neither was Stella, to them, if they were going to be honest, ) and shook it around in its cardboard tomb, a dumb grin plastered to her face. Hey, Monopoly or not, it sounded like a good deal to pass the time, or she could go bug the dozens of other people milling around outside their vehicles. "That public announcement a couple'a minutes ago was pretty wicked, huh? Ya think it's some kind'a game ya gotta pay to get into? That we ain't part'a?"

[charmwisp]

HEY, i think i just saw HOSHINO RIKA walking down the strip. stop by to catch up and you’ll learn the TWENTY-SEVEN YEAR OLD is working as an ARCHIVIST AT THE DEADLY POSSESSIONS HAUNTED MUSEUM and lives in SOLSTICE APARTMENTS. given they are CURIOUS but EVASIVE, it’s unlikely that they ARE NOT a vampire. on the flipside, rumor has it that SHE USED TO RUN A SCAMMY FORTUNE-TELLING BUSINESS WITH A FRIEND IN TOKYO AND WAS FORCED TO FLEE THE COUNTRY BY HERSELF AFTER THEY CROSSED THE WRONG PERSON and it keeps them looking over their shoulder. i bet you can find them tearing up the dance floor to IIN JA NAI by SUZUKI AIRI and you’ll know why they’re called THE CLOSE ENCOUNTER. ( cis woman + she/her. lesbian + pisces. )

the names above are written according to their native japanese format (surname, first name). to clarify, this character's given name is rika!

IMPORTANT LINKS: pinterest.

BASICS

The Kanji for her full name is 星野梨華 and I deliberately incorporated 星 into her name as it means star! Usually surnames don't need to have a meaning so i'm only pointing this out bc it was a creative choice. (btw i know there's a popular anime rn where the protags have the same surname, with the same kanji, but that's a coincidence; i haven't watched the show and i made rika before the manga was even published.)

She may or may not possess some sort of psychic ability. She has experienced visions almost her entire life and has a pretty good knack for predicting the future, even if it’s usually fuzzy and not always accurate. Although she’s quick to dismiss this herself, assuming that she’s just very good at making educated guesses and sensing when trouble is on the horizon, it has gifted her with a lifelong interest in the occult and magic and all similar things.

She grew up in a small city called Minamisatsuma, located in the southernmost region of mainland Japan (Kagoshima), and was always surrounded by the ocean. Alaska's proximity to the coast puts her at ease for this reason, even if the difference in climate has been a big change.

She has a pet cat; a little black cat with with big round eyes and she's called Charmy. She's kind of silly and a bit of a menace. Because Rika doesn't feel safe letting her roam but knows that her apartment isn't quite big enough to expend Charmy's excess energy, she has been known to take her cat on walks with a harness.

She's a bit of a bookworm. A total bookworm, actually. She spent most of her childhood with her nose in a book, mostly stories and fiction but she has been known to spend hours researching topics that interest her. She's got a quick mind and loves to learn. All this extra information has proven quite useful in her cold readings.

Ever the overthinker, Rika has some concerns about the general ethics of her work, especially when it comes to the matter of lying to people (she tries to keep to vague embellishments as best as she can) but it helps to think of herself as a performer. It's all an act and people are encouraged to take from it what they will.

Rika loves horror and all things spooky. Because of her reserved nature, people might expect her to be quite squeamish but she's braver than she looks! That said, she likes cute-spooky best of all. Halloween is easily her favourite time of year and she's been known to go all out when buying decorations; for Rika, it's one of the biggest positives about moving to the States.

In the kitchen space of her apartment, you'll find a corkboard covered with notes and photos and mementos. You'll also find a photograph of a young man (he's Sho, you'll learn about him later!) whose face has been drawn on. Devil horns, angry eyebrows, stink lines. The works. If you ask Rika about it, she'll just tell you it's 'some useless asshole'. Do not assume that's her ex.

MINAMISATSUMA, KAGOSHIMA

Rika had always considered her childhood to be a fairly ordinary one; she had two parents and three siblings (one older sister and two younger brothers, a pair of twins), and rode her bike to school every day like any other kid. Everything was always normal, simple, uneventful and maybe even a little boring. But, as the years went on, Rika started to find that she was more spiritually inclined than other children her age and her intuition was so sharp that it sometimes frightened her. (Those around her had started to joke that she could predict the weather better than the official forecast.) Never one to rock the boat, she tried not to bring it up too often and nobody ever seemed to mind but, in her own time, she grew to harbour an interest in the mysterious and unusual.

When she was thirteen, her dad was given a promotion that saw the whole family packing up and moving to Tokyo. The shift was staggering, it seemed to Rika like an entirely different world. Suddenly, she wasn't normal anymore. Overnight, she'd become the quiet new girl with weird interests. She was eventually able to make friends but only after months of sideways glances and whispers. Junior High had not been gentle on Rika.

By the time she got to high school though, things had changed. People had gotten used to Rika's sharp instincts and even started to take interest. Girls would hover outside her classroom, peering through the windows as they waited for her to come out and let them test her. Cold readings based on gut instinct, answers to questions like 'what number am I thinking of?', so on and so forth. She didn't get it right every time but it was enough for people to be impressed. After months of students begging her insight on to their entrance exam performance, Rika was worn out. Graduation was a blessing.

Shortly after graduation, Rika's family ended up moving back to Kagoshima. However, having already gotten into a good University to study Japanese Literature, Rika stayed behind and got her own tiny apartment in Tokyo.

SHINJUKU, TOKYO

Rika was quick to find work to support herself while she worked on her studies; she got a job as a cashier in a little bookstore that specialised in the occult. Although her experiences growing up kept her from telling anybody about her talents, she had never let go of that interest in all things strange and unexplained. It was a perfect job for her and she continued to work there for the entirety of her academic career. Her coworkers were Hayato, the nephew of the shop's owner and son of a television illusionist, and Sumire, the daughter of a wealthy family whose idea of rebellion was getting into retail work.

About two years into working there, a new regular started showing his face. Rika quickly learned that he was a good friend of Hayato's and had previously worked at the bookshop, having been replaced by Rika almost as soon as he had left. His name was Tsukidate Sho and he was...an interesting character; he'd quit his bookstore job at twenty-two, head filled with haphazard dreams of becoming an unlicensed private detective. (Hayato had ensured her that Sho had a real and valid motive but it too sensitive a subject to share with her, despite Sho's own claims that he wanted to get paid for being nosy.) Regardless, it didn't take Rika very long to get used to his bewildering presence and she even soon befriended him.

Eventually, Rika grew to trust this ragtag team of friends enough to tell them about her apparent gifts. She admitted she wasn't really sure if it was anything special at all, that she was sure it was probably just good judgement. Sumire told her, 'You've either got freaky powers or you're just freaky smart. Either way, it's freaky.' And yet, for the first time, nobody cared all that much. To them, she was still just Rika.

By the time Rika had graduated from University, it seemed like Sho had grown disillusioned with life as a private detective. Week after week, she'd hear him complain that all he ever had to work on were adultery cases. One day, Sho pulled Rika aside and proclaimed he had a plan, a great plan, and he needed her help. Sho's was from Kawagoe, a city in Saitama known for having maintained it's Edo-era architecture and, as it turned, his family had upheld a tradition of fortune telling for generations. The plan was as follows— they'd set up their own fortune telling and psychic reading business, with Rika as the face of it, using her talents wherever possible, while Sho used his skills to hunt out information on the customers. A mix of cold and hot reading at once. He would teach her the skills he'd gained growing up, things like showmanship and similar little flourishes. Rika had her doubts at first, not wanting to scam or fraud anybody, but Sho insisted that most people didn't believe this stuff, that they were selling an experience. She recalled her experiences at school and how much trouble people had caused her just for that same experience. She agreed to his plan.

Setting up shop in Sho's office in Kabukicho, Tokyo's answer to a red light district, the two would work together for a couple of years, with Rika juggling the scheme with her bookstore job, and they made a surprisingly good team. Eventually, they got close enough for Sho to explain himself, why he'd gotten into the business of being a private detective. When he was just a kid, maybe about fourteen years old, his best friend had gone missing. Sho was the last person to see him but there was a big dark gap in his memory between that last sighting and Sho coming to his senses. Despite his best efforts, he'd never been able to find any answers and the only appeasement he'd ever found was looking into the problems of others.

At some point, the pair had gotten into trouble with the wrong people during a job gone a little wrong. The pair decide their best choice is to make a run for it and lay low for just a little while, and Rika opens up to him about a particular vision she's been having that seems to relate to the city of Las Vegas and a feeling that something is beckoning there. With that, their destination is decided and Sho sends her off on her own, explaining he's got work to finish off in Tokyo first and they'll reunite later. they never reunited.

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA

At first, Rika had feared for the worst. Sho’s job was hardly free of danger. The only way she could contact Sho was by email and it took her a couple of weeks to get decent access to her inbox. When she finally got access to everything, there was nothing. Another month passed before she finally heard from Sho. In his email, he explained that he'd actually stuck his nose far too deep into something he shouldn't have done and he'd never had any plans of fleeing the country with her; he'd lied to her to make sure she got out alone. However, due to his refusal to explain what was actually going on and the fact she'd been stranded in a totally new country, she was pissed. Still, she respects his warnings not to speak a word of this stuff to anyone. (Should she be worried for him, even if he is a liar?)

It would take her a while to settle into life here in Las Vegas but eventually she finds good work as an archivist for the Deadly Possessions Haunted Museum, where she spends her days poring over pages upon pages of stories of the occult.

Needless to say, this spate of mysterious death and the rumours of something more sinister, perhaps even supernatural, being afoot has caught her attention.

[charmwisp]

EVERYTHING BEFORE THIS POINT IS HERE FOR ARCHIVAL PURPOSES ONLY. this blog has been repurposed as of 7th april 2025.

[charmwisp]

This conversation was more than enough to appeal some of Rika's most frantic sensibilities. Since that fateful Halloween, fifteen months ago now, she'd allowed to herself to get all tangled up in threads of mystery scattered around this time. She'd filled notebooks with thoughts, ideas, theories, and chase every scrap of information she could but, in the end, she was not a detective. She was not a journalist. She wasn't somebody who was at all qualified to pull any of it off. But there was simply no point trusting the police or the authorities to handle any of this. The Council seemed quite willing to wave everything off and place it in the capable hands of dear old CLAPPY. And, of course, capable does here mean utterly useless and really quite questionable.

"Oh, I don't think the Police need an excuse as good as bribery", said Rika, finally peaking up. She'd been stirring away at her coffee the whole time Ava had been speaking, working it up into the frenzy she was trying to avoid herself, and now it had developed its own little whirlpool. "Time and time again, they've snatched up the first suspect they find. But I guess you probably know that, huh?" After all, it had been Ava up on the stands, defending herself in Court alongside Mindy and Bronx only this Summer past. Rika had tried picking Mindy's mind about it but she hadn't managed to work anything out in the way of theories. There'd be no further attempts to question Mindy now. (Was Mindy's death related to that incident? Was someone out to get them?) "Even the anonymous tip that saved you three," Rika went on. "They chose to read that as a threat. It's like nobody here actually uses their heads! They just jump to the easiest conclusion and—"

She took in a deep breath, in through the nose and out through the mouth, and fanned herself with one hand. Then, she took a sip of her coffee, a quick distraction until she gathered herself. "Sorry, this stuff just makes me so... cross. I feel like we're trapped in the part of a mystery novel where the Police keep falling for all the obvious red herrings, you know?"

( the ugly mug cafe & diner, early morning, february 5th ) @anchoragestarters, cap 0/4

Ava knew that things had been going a little too well for her lately. Though she'd originally considered her more recent stroke of good fortune and the general sense of calm around her as a well-earned reward for all of the hardships she'd experienced last year—her arrest and trail over the summer, coming to terms with Mindy's passing in the fall, the tension among her siblings since the holidays—there was still a small part of her that had been trained to expect that good times in Anchorage didn't last very long. Now, she had a new thing to add to the list of grievances: Rosalind's arrest. The hairdresser could scarcely believe that her mild-mannered and kind friend was capable of such cruelty, especially against her mother. No, there had to be some kind of mistake. If her own wrongful arrest mere months ago had taught her anything, it was to maintain a healthy distrust of the Anchorage Police Department and their competence.

And to top it all off, she wasn't a morning person in the slightest. But here she was, out of the warmth and safety of her and Nadine's place at the ass crack of dawn, hoping to cling to whatever semblance of normalcy she'd been growing accustomed to. A steaming travel cup of peppermint tea grasped firmly between her hands as she took residence on the nearest barstool, the brunette couldn't help but unload on the first person to cross her path. "I mean... it makes no sense to me. Have you met Ros? She's the sweetest little thing. She wouldn't hurt a fly! And I know people always say shit like that when their friends snap... but it's true! I wonder if someone around here has the police in their pockets to get her arrested like that," she grumbled, pausing for a moment to take a sip of her drink.

[charmwisp]

“I gues the owner doesn't see the need to keep it warm in here when business is slow,” said Rika, between one tidy mouthful of her lunch, of which she quickly dabbed her lips and sets the very napkin used down on her lap. “Supposedly, people are also more likely to believe something wonderful and supernatural is happening when they get a chill up their spine but I think that's just an excuse.” This revelation was punctuated with a knowing smile, a chime of laughter falling from her lips. There was much about Anchorage that left something to be desired but, if nothing else, Rika had gotten a lot better at speaking her mind since coming here. The girl who had first stepped soil on US soil two years ago had been timid and easily startled. Somehow, scrambling to find answers to unanswerable questions and fighting to be taken seriously had brought out a confidence in her she'd never known. She still considered herself a polite woman but there was something nice about not panicking through every conversation, all for fear you might have unknowingly said something untoward.

Speaking of confidence, the answer she received was an intriguing one; this was the answer of someone who knew precisely where they stood on the subject and were wholly certain of that fact. “I think I might actually be somewhere in between,” said Rika, after a few quiet moments of sincere, careful thought. She'd been the one to ask the question in the first place but she had never quite made peace with her own opinion. “I'm not denying anything, I think there's a possibility. The world is full of a lot of strange things. But maybe I'm afraid to go any further than just a maybe because it's a lot to think about.”

She titled her head to one side, her brow furrowed and her lips pursed. For a lot of the year, she hadn't been sleeping well at all so, if taking that idea literally, what difference did it really make? “I've heard of people being haunted by apparitions in their dreams, in a way that simply can't just be their subconscious mind making things up...is that something similar?” A sincere enquiry wearing the disguise of a casual suggestion; maybe if this stranger knew so much about the supernatural, she might have something helpful to say, something to make sense of the dreams Rika had been having or that strange puppet Millie had encountered. She'd all but forgotten her lunch now, having dived so readily into this conversation. “My colleague told someone here, a client, he was being haunted. They had a lot of interesting theories about things but I don't know if they'd lie about something like that. It makes me wonder if it could be true.”

The ghost hunting medium had set out on a quest to hoard resources for the crew's upcoming haunt, which meant dusting books off the library shelves and getting acquainted with the locals who convened with spirits themselves. Salem had no problems whatsoever in enmeshing with society; she had done it all before, foregoing an inflated ego for the sake of flaunting appearances for the New York City Ballet. Nowadays, she was another face in the crowd except for the niche who were interested in tuning into the team's television spot, but playing cards of niceties was a surefire guarantee for what you coveted.

When she stepped into the Raven House, however, the gloom that suffocated the oxygen out of the room hit her square in the face, and she had to grip a hand to her chest as if she were struggling for a pocket of air, floating in the odysseys of space. Pulling her cropped jacket closer to her person, she walked with purpose toward the front desk, remarking flatly, "It feels like I've stepped into a pothole of cold air. Is it always like this in here?" Anchorage was a wasteland of snow and sleet, but by comparison, it was a warm hug from the subtle amount of sunshine that lingered. Sitting down in one of the chairs in wait of the next available opening, she arched her brows, taking only a moment to process before answering confidently, "I think there are only two people in the world: people who believe in ghosts and people who are denying that they exist because it makes it easier for them to sleep at night. Humans have a phenomenal capacity for ignorance in the way that other mammals don't. Which is a detriment to survival, if you ask me. So which one of the two types are you?"

[charmwisp]

A frown tugged at Rika's expression at the mention of other dimensions and she began to wonder if she'd asked the wrong person -- or, rather, that she might have asked someone who was too much the right type of person for her relatively amateurish questions. Despite the work she did here, Rika wasn't actually someone with a hand dipped too deep into the pool of the supernatural. She'd just been unlucky enough to be saddled with a strangely keen sense of things that may or may not happen; she'd never been able to put a name to the gift so she'd left it at that. Still, as she watched this other person's expression, she realised they'd spoken before, back when the phones and the internet first went down. This was the guy who'd caught her off-guard when he started talking about superheroes and Ultraman baddies. In hindsight, maybe the abrupt remarks about different types of ghosts weren't that surprising after all.

"Oh, uh, the dead kind," said Rika, trying not grimace at the clumsiness of her own wording. There were always nicer ways to put these things, particularly when speaking of the spirits of the deceased, but the words had sort of just tumbled out on their own, like they often did when she got her mind stuck on a mystery. "Not necessarily spirits who have unfinished business but, at the very least, a spirit who can't move on for some reason. That sort of a ghost." The idea of unfinished business had always seemed to neat and tidy to Rika, like a puzzle too easily solved. It didn't make sense to her that the key to moving on would just be a task in need of completion. Ghosts held to the earth by the strength of their emotions struck her as far more compelling; after all, to be forced into that halfway-between state, that poor soul was probably a victim of something. Or, maybe, she was overthinking things again.

"You've seen them?" asked Rika, eyes widening. Hey, even if it was just his imagination, it was an interesting claim to make. She nearly said that she'd never seen anything but the dreams she'd been having quickly came to mind and she decided not to say anything about the matter at all. Those were not ghosts but she'd seen things she didn't understand, that was for certain. "It's not me, it's, ah..." Rika started, before pausing to consider how best to put this. It was a tricky subject, especially when it really didn't concern her. "My colleague said something a while back," she went on, the task of speaking about Mindy in neither present nor past tense a strange one, "That they'd had a client who was being haunted? Or something like that? And I was wondering if that could be true and how that could have happened. If that makes sense?"

Fiddling with the rocks at The Raven House, as he often came here to do. Even if he did not like crystals, for their magical properties. Or supposed magical purposes. He could still appreciate pretty things. Lifting an amethyst one, he inspected it, noting its particular beauty. Turned it over in his hand before letting it roll to his palm, “Hm.” Bryn quickly set it down again. Not interested in buying it anymore. Moving his hand to the next selection of rocks, he poked through them for a moment, deciding, he didn't like those either.

Moving along to another shelf, he had started to look it over, as well. Many things he found to be interesting for decor, but certainly nothing more than just that. Picking one such thing up, he inspected it as well, curiosity getting the better of him he twirls the chain it is attached to around his index finger. As he went on walking he continued to look at several other curious items that he thought of adding to the interior of his trailer before pausing as he heard Rika, raising a curious eyebrow he moved toward her, “You mean, like, real ghosts? Yeaah. I do.” He offered, “Which kind of ghost, though? I'm a believer in both those of the souls trapped here on earth due to unfinished business. And that of ghosts who are beings from other dimensions just having phased partially into our world.”

Though, he supposed the other was going more for the usual ghost, more of his first preference, “I've seen ghosts.” Untwisting the dowsing stone from his hand, he pointed, letting it spin aimlessly as it reached the the limit of it's tether. Mindy, whom he didn't know all that well, had to be one such thing. There was no way he believed the other would just go, like that. It half irritated him that they did, “Though, maybe that was just my imagination, maybe? Anyway, more curious, why are you asking about it? Did you see one?” Bryn asked, excited to hear any potential of a 'yes'.

[charmwisp]

"What a funny thing to say," said Rika, mystified. And, then, realising she'd actually gone and spoken the words aloud, she lifted her fingers to her mouth and gasped. It was pretty rich too, coming from the very same person who'd just asked a stranger, out of the blue, if they believed in something as peculiar as ghosts. Perhaps this was just a funny conversation to be having altogether.

Yet this answer had, nonetheless, surprised her. She thought she'd been ready for any eventuality, anything from a 'no, are you crazy?' to a 'gee, I'm not sure' to a terribly brazen 'I even saw one myself, once'. But this had caught her off-guard. (You might think that'd be pretty hard to do, given the sort of work she did and the sort of town she did it in but you'd be surprised how many mundane stories she listened to day in and day out.)

"It depends on...what, exactly?" asked Rika, eyes wide and alight with curiosity. "If you don't mind me asking, of course. I'd hate to push or pry but...a belief that's only held in certain conditions? I'd love to understand it."

krisik, being a newcomer to anchorage, had been on edge since the first few days of landing in november... now it’s december. how? many questions were running through his mind as if there was a marathon occurring 24/7. time had the habit of screwing him in more ways than he’d like to admit, but occupying himself helped with that. it’s december already, and krisik found himself wandering around town like a lost deer. why was he at the raven house at noon? frankly, he didn’t know nor was he really expecting to stay long. he wanted to feel the vibe of the place, so to speak. a will be back at so-and-so time sign was nowhere within sight? well, no. that’s a little lie; krisik never noticed so he sat on a chair in the waiting room. oh. he never thought he’d be asked about ghosts. “yes and no. it depends.” if kris was asked why, he would be screwed because how in the hell do you explain the it depends statement?

[charmwisp]

WHERE: the raven house (where rika works as a psychic) WHEN: early december (7th december??), noon WHO: @anchoragestarters

There was no ignoring it, the absense that could be felt throughout every room of the Raven House, although in no place more than the room that stood adjacent to Rika's own; the nob of its closed door seemed to stare out at Rika from her own seat, like a single brassy eyeball. It had been this way for over a month now, ever since the night of Halloween. Rika had gone into that night with a strange feeling, a bad feeling, but she'd been unable to place it. The months of strange dreams and the added mystery of some puppet vision haunting another of her colleagues must have dulled her senses. It was too late to worry about what anything meant now; none of it would change the simple reality that Mindy was gone.

Now, on her lunch break, Rika had torn herself away from her room. She'd been taking her lunch in the front lobby of the Raven House more and more, it was the least empty place in the building and that strange heavy feeling of loss didn't cling so much. Her and Mindy were never that close but they were on good enough terms and had shared some interesting conversations. And it was one of those conversations that was on her mind now. Stories had been shared about spirits, about werewolfs, among other more intriguing things.

Rika sat down on one of the waiting chairs, her simple lunch rested in her lap, and without caring how she'd sound for maybe the first time in a good long while, she turned to the person sat beside her and asked just one simple question;

"Hey, do you believe in ghosts?"

[charmwisp]

In some ways, it was a relief for them to just be able to stop right outside the store like this, if only because Rika hadn't actually planned anything beyond this point. It had been a spur of the moment thing, after all, this whole business of helping a random stranger catch their breath. Rika had acted more on instinct and a sense of sincere duty to the people around her than she had any real considered plan. But, as she watched them almost sort of relax or, at the very least, calm down just a little, Rika found that she didn't regret a single thing. Even if she'd only helped the smallest amount, she was glad she'd been able to do it. Rika figured she was probably a kind enough person but she'd never considered herself quite warm enough to be much good at comforting people well.

"Oh, you're hungry?" asked Rika, straightening up. She shook off the embarrassment that quickly followed, the fleeting concern that repeating what they'd said a was a little obvious. "I guess there's probably a lot of good places for that here, right? Since we're in a mall and all." She looked around, trying to spy what food kiosks might have been in their immediate periphery. "The smoothie place over there is pretty good," she said, pointing at where its neon sign beamed obnoxiously at the weary shoppers passing by. "I know it's not food but it's a start, right? You could always go somewhere else after?"

Giving a small nod to the question, they said "Yeah, we can stop here..." Honestly, just being out of that stuffy store was already starting to help. As they sat down, they took a deep breath, trying to compose themselves, hoping that they wouldn't embarrass themselves in front of this stranger even further. Please don't apologize. Thank god this person was so nice. As mortifying as it was, at least she wasn't treating Nisa as if they were a freak. Life's a lot to deal with. "Yeah, tell me about it," she mumbled, almost under her breath. Annisa's life had certainly been a lot these past few months--but then again, what were they comparing it to? It turns out that their life was 'a lot' a lot of the fucking time.

Is there anything that could take your mind off, uh...things? Nisa took a moment to think, though they already suspected what they probably needed. Even though it was against part of their better judgement, they said "I think I'm hungry..." Though food probably wasn't the greatest distraction for Nisa specifically, they assumed that something had to be low, whether it be their blood sugar or electrolytes or a combination of the two.

[charmwisp]

There were probably plenty of people out there, Rika imagined, who'd be put off by the blunt responses she'd received but it didn't really bother much her at all. She liked to think she'd built up a thick enough skin for all that. She'd encoutnered a lot of different people in her line of work, all sorts of customers and clients. Even Sho had been an acquired taste, with a sharp tongue and a sardonic sense of humour despite the mismatch of his rather chipper personality. There'd been one client back in her days working as a fortune teller in Tokyo who, on first glance, looked like your typical rough gangster type, all flashy clothes and a nasty look on his face. He'd swaggered into the place like he owned it, as though he might have kicked her ass for telling him something he didn't want to hear, but once he sat down, he'd turned meek and awkward; all he wanted to know was if his teenage daughter was going to do well on her high school entrance exams. You really couldn't judge a book by its cover and she was fine with that. It was with this very same mindset that she regarded Stella, a giggle falling from her lips following the threat of wing clipping.

"Yeah, that's pretty much the response I've been getting all night," said Rika, with a mock-dramatic sigh of defeat. "At least I don't have to run into anyone wearing the same costume as me though, right?" With that said, she did a little twirl, her skirt of her dress swaying in the breeze. Even if the other woman didn't share the enthusiasm, Rika couldn't help but still find Halloween a little novel and exciting and, ashamed as she may have been to admit it, the giddiness was getting to her a bit. "Okay, if not nice, then...you're willing to compromise," said Rika, decisively. "And that's a good trait to have as well, you know. Maybe next year, to make it up to you, they should also go as something you got to choose."

Despite how she probably looked and came off, Rika was someone who'd been encountered with real life bribes and similar uncomfortable deals in the past and so, although she had retained the natural urge to wave people off and politely say no when offered something she didn't need, the spirit of Halloween had possessed her enough that she really didn't mind playing along. "Hmmm, well, I wouldn't want to ruin your evening by blabbing. I think I'll take that bribe," she said, playful. "What have you got?"

STELLA PROBABLY COULD HAVE BEEN slightly less abrasive instead of immediately jumping to threats, but it was a kneejerk reaction, especially when her patience had already been tested earlier in the night. Between aiding in the wrangling three little girls into their costumes while also not letting any of them lose accessories or their treat buckets before even getting out the door and her own friends blatantly ignoring her requests not to make a big deal once granted the information of the proposal she was planning to instead do the exact opposite, the ridiculous wings that had been slapping her in the back of the head every time she made one wrong turn or the wind blew a little too hard from behind her was the first victim to have her aggravation taken out upon and the second the witness to that pummeling. The look on her face was enough to spark a twinge of regret in her aggression, mentally blaming the aforementioned children for making her soft over the past few years where she previously would've bulldozed past any culpability for words that left her mouth without previous thought. "Good. I've already had it up to here with the rest of 'em tonight; they're lucky I didn't clip their wings." It was an empty threat, mostly posed to keep that newfound clemency from affecting her reputation (and from her moments alone with Cyrek significantly reducing her previous annoyance, even if he was thankfully oblivious to the prior situation). "Huh." The blankness on her face as the answer to her question hadn't really provided any insight to further understanding the costume, the extent of her media consumption as a kid mostly consisting of the ridiculousness of WWE storylines and horror movies filled with blood, guts, and gore hadn't provided her with the knowledge. "You hadthe right idea then." Her gaze followed to the wings, swatting a hand at them so they weren't at least having their damage and abandonment advertised for all to see. "Ehh, not really nice as much as I was only allowed a certain amount of vetos in the decision." Plus being outnumbered. As for the understanding, her eyes rolled as if already discounting the consideration of that. "Probably," she agreed dryly, clearly not convinced. "But I think it'd be easier to keep this between us. Orrr, I could bribe ya with some candy." And save herself the hassle.

[charmwisp]

Rika was, perhaps, more of a wuss than she'd initially thought, if the gasp that escaped her as she rounded the corner was anything to go by. Or, if you supposed that the gasp was really more of a squeak, there'd be no perhaps about it. She could not tell if she'd just gotten into the mood of the holiday or if it was the dreadful feeling that, just because last Halloween had gone so wrong, surely this night should follow in the same way, but Rika was a little on edge and, when she'd first caught sight of a figure shoving and kicking, she'd assumed the worst. You could imagine her embarrassment when she finally clocked that the hapless victim of this violence was little more than a pair of flimsy costume wings. "O-oh," she stammered, clasping her hands to her collar as her brain scrambled to regain its bearings. "My lips are sealed, I promise." She thought, for a moment, that she would even't know who to tell, until she remembered that the topic of costumes had come up during one of the cooking club's recent meetings and that someone had mentioned fairies. (Had it been Anka? Because lying to them was too daunting an idea, Rika was left to simply hope the topic wouldn't come up if she did run into them.)

"Oh, me?" Rika blinked, looking down at her own costume, almost as though the shock had caused her to forget. Now, she hadn't really expected her outfit to be an easy one to understand. Even if the film didn't feel a little niche, she ultimately was not a puppet and therefore didn't look quite like the character, but it was with a little curtsey and a friendly smile that she said, "I'm a Gelfling! This character technically has wings too but I didn't bother because it seemed like a hassle." Her eyes fell upon the broken wings, still hanging pathetically from the thick leaf of a stalk of corn. "So I can't really blame you for wrecking yours," she said, finally. "But it's still nice of you to go along with a costume you don't like. Your friends would probably understand, right?"

where : outside the corn maze when : october 31st, after 7 pm @anchoragestarters

"STUPID...FUCKING...THINGS-" The brunette's angry grumbling was accompanied by her frustrated, and failing, attempts to wrap her cold fingers around the elastic of the straps of the fairy wings attached to her shoulders. Stella hadn't anticipated how the ties of her top, which was also acting a point of contention for her as it was leaving a trail of orange glitter everywhere she walked, would become tangled with the cheap costume wings, one of which was already sporting a softball-sized tear in the nylon webbing that coated the wires by means of a boyfriend who was clearly more excited about the accessory than the one actually wearing them. Finally, she had managed to tear them off of her body, wasting no opportunity to shove them straight into the mess of dead corn stalks that weren't built to survive the dropping temperatures of Alaska in October. One heeled boot kicked, further tearing and misshaping the most dreaded aspect of her costume (which said a lot, as she wasn't exactly enthused about any part of it) before she gave a satisfied huff and swiped one of the strips of bleached blonde framing pieces of hair out of her face. As she turned around with the intention to walk back towards where the other features of the festival were, instead she came to make unwelcomed eye contact with someone. "Listen, you didn't see nothing," were the first defensive words out of her mouth, adding after a beat, "Especially if you're talking to anyone else wearing those damned wings here. I didn't pick this costume, but I'd rather ruin the look than be stuck with those things all night." Her arms crossed over her chest, and not because she was cold, as she had been denying the allegations all night that the pieces of the costume were chosen with little thought towards the freezing temperature of the night. "What're you supposed to be anyway?"

[charmwisp]

ANCHORAGE TASK 09 / HALLOWEEN COSTUME

FEATURING…RIKA HOSHINO as KIRA (the dark crystal)

[charmwisp]

Although she'd kept them all to herself, there had been countless questions that Rika had, at one point or another, considered asking Mindy ever since the trial had come and gone. There had been questions she'd wanted to ask while the trial was still going as well but she'd been even less convinced that prying would be appropriate. This had been motivated in part by Rika's own curiosity about the town's mysteries but, much more than that, she'd wanted to make sure Mindy was doing okay. They crossed paths almost every day and, although they weren't especially close despite their near constant proximity to one another, Rika ultimately thought well of Mindy, enough that the news that they'd been implicated in the arson had raised an eyebrow. (She would always wonder if she would have felt the same way if she weren't already so convinced something was afoot in this town but she liked tot hink that she would have at least reserved judgement.) Rika had been leaning against the doorway to her room and pondering some of these very same questions when Mindy's voice, carried from the adjacent room, pulled her from her daydreams. She immediately felt her cheeks burn. Rika had not even realised she'd been staring! Eager to hide this sudden flush of embarrassment and glad to accept the offer of company (because sitting in that room alone on a slow down made for a mind-numbing work day), Rika slipped into Mindy's room and slipped neatly into the seat across from them.

"Not once, surprisingly," Rika laughed. "Ever since I started clarifying straight away that I can't tell them about the distance future, most people have learned not to get too far ahead." Carefully, she picked up the burrito laid out for her and inspected it. She'd never been too good at figuring out how to eat them neatly and she didn't like making a mess but she'd lost her lunch break waiting far too long for an apointment that hadn't shown and was too hungry to be overly particular. "I take it you've been getting that one a lot, huh?" she asked, scrunching up her nose. That sort of thing just came with the whole fortune teller territory, she supposed, but it was such a grim question that she couldn't help but hate it. She could not fathom ever wanting to know that about herself. "I got some guy recently asking if I could try and speak to that Adisorn, the one who went missing, and find out where they were. I told them I can't convene with the spirits of the living and they seemed to accept that," said Rika, who had never even claimed she could convene with any spirits. "But then they turn up dead in one of the mansions uptown and he comes in hassling me about it? I don't think he even knew them!" With that said, she finally tore a chunk out of her burrito, as though this act of small violence was the only way she could have exorcised her frustration. (Of course, Adisorn's death was a tragedy, she didn't mean to downplay that at all.) "Ugh. Enough about me, what's the weirdest thing you've heard lately?"

@charmwisp at the raven house, mid-october

"I can feel you staring through the wall," Mindy's voice carried through the cracked open door of their corner of the Raven House, the cool air from the jammed front door welcoming autumn into Anchorage, for the two weeks it would last before snow battered the state. Rika had been a scurrilous creature since the summertime, and they had half-wondered if it were something to do with the fire — their alleged darling of arson that was now debunked in the eyes of the law but not in the hearts of most of its people — but they withheld dubiety that Rika was one quick to pass judgements or execute the jury. The psychic was more level-headed than Mindy could aspire to be, though the effort had been carved to actually hone their skillset in the past few months since. If they were going to be a vector for faceless capers and situate themselves a comfortable proximity from their friends, then they might as well take solace in their work. Pride, even. ( Truthfully, they hadn't a clue where to start on the latter, and they thought that asking would depict fraudulency more than the town had already. ) "I've got a burrito with your name on it in here if you want company..." they suggested, reclined in their chair as they faced the set of tarot down on their desk, previously flipping through the deck out of sheer boredom. Slow days dragged on forever. "Or we can gossip about all the annoying questions you've gotten from clients, whatever sounds good — how many times this week have you been asked to tell someone when they'll die?"

[charmwisp]

As soon as her newfound company made to start leaving the shop, Rika shoved the small pile of tshirts she'd been holding back onto the nearest rail, silently apologising for the trouble it might cause whatever staff member would be forced to reorganise her mess later. As much as she hated to cause trouble when it wasn't needed, Rika knew that this shopping trip needed to be aborted in favour of lending a hand to a stranger. Rika hurried out of the shop, working to keep up with them despite her own delayed exit and the fact it was a little difficult to move too quickly with her platform sandals squeaking against the smooth linoleum floors.

"Are you okay stopping here?" ask Rika, hovering next to the bench uncertainly. "We're still underground so it might be a little better outdoors." And then, as if correcting herself over a silly mistake, she added, "I guess it's getting pretty cold out now. It's probably better to stay in the mall." But when they did finally speak up, all Rika could do was shake her head . "Oh, gosh, no, please don't apologise," said Rika, finally willing herself to sit down on the bench, perching herself on the very edge of it so as to ensure they still had room to breathe. "It's okay to feel overwhelmed by stuff sometimes. Life's a lot to deal with." Although Rika had lamented, time and time again, the fact that there were always customers who used her services as a psychic as a way to unload all their emotions onto her, she was grateful for the way it helped her to understand others and the lives she'd never lead. "Is there anything that could take your mind off, uh...things?" asked Rika, who was very careful not to make any assumptions about how they were feeling. She did not want to pry either. "Whenever I feel all shaken up, I always find it helps to distract myself somehow." (And, after a Summer of weird nightmares, lord knew she'd been plenty shaken up.)

You don't look so well... The words were ringing in Nisa's ears as they were desperately trying to get a grip on reality. Do you need fresh air? Oh, god, she was being so nice. As silly as it seemed, Nisa felt like it would almost easier if the woman called them freak--then it wouldn't be so surprising when the dancer ran away in fear. "Um... Yeah, I'm fine, I just..." They closed their eyes for a second, trying to get their bearings. Shit. "Y-Yeah, fresh air sounds good..." As they walked towards the exit, they somehow found the tiniest bright side--at least this person was a stranger and not someone they knew, not someone who might shake their shoulders and try to pry answers out of them.

There was a bench right outside the front of the store and the dark-haired dancer made their way over to it, taking a deep breath as they sat down. Jesus, what was that? No, it certainly wasn't the first time that had ever happened to them but it had been so long. And now this poor stranger was right beside them, trying to be a good Samaritan and helping Nisa, who right near was playing the role of 'unstable individual.' And maybe they really were more unstable than they'd originally thought. Finally able to find some real words, they said "I'm so sorry, I... That just happens...sometimes, I don't.. I don't know why... But I'm okay. Promise." Liar.

[charmwisp]

Rika had spent so long running through every theory and possibility until there was no known stones left for her to turn over and yet all the evidence and support she knew she lacked filled her with doubting, leaving her with little confidence in it all. She'd also been to afraid to speak too plainly about any of her ideas, for fear of being written off as hysterical or just too into conspiracies. It had been pushed upon her from a young age that she was meant to keep her head low and move through the crowd quietly, never doing anything that would rock the boat or make anybody else uncomfortable. That was just the culture into which she'd been raised, her parents both having been quite ordinary and unadventerous people. Even announcing that she was moving to Tokyo had been nearly too much for them, she often wondered what they'd make of her current situation; if they had any untoward feelings about the life she'd chosen, they never dared to share them in the few letters they'd exchange throughout the year. It had surprised her to hear another person voice their thoughts about the situation so freely and with such certainty. No, more than just being surprised, she was impressed. Mystified, even.

"I don't know if a court trial is much of a spectacle," said Rika, feeling emboldened enough by their forward manner of speaking to disagree instead of simply nodding along and mutter I guess sos under her breath. "A fire starting out in the woods and lengthy legal proceedings...out of everything that's happened around here, this was hardly the most sensational." And yet, even saying that, the memory of seeing the fire break out from a safe distance the night she'd stayed at the ranch had been seared into her mind, as though it too had been burned there like the scars worn by the unfortunate few who'd been caught up at the winery. It had not been the fire itself that had shaken her so much as the certain belief that nothing good was bound to follow, a terrible dread having taken hold of her. "But I do agree that somebody is trying to hide the truth," said Rika, awkward hands finding and settling on the waistband of her jeans, "Doesn't it seem like the accused were framed for this? I don't think the cops are doing this on purpose, it's more like someone's setting easy bait for them and they're falling for it every time, just because it's easier than investigating anything." Ugh, great, that was another talking point borrowed straight from the mouth of Sho Tsukidate, the work-partner who'd ditched her after sending her off to the States. It had always been clear that, as an unlicensed private detective, the cops had always been a thorn in his side.

Once again, Rika could not bring herself to agree with them, having had somewhat differing feelings about that mysterious note. However, she was forced to accept she was coming from a place of personal bias. After the Halloween party last year, where a man had died under circumstances of which she still struggled to make sense, the police had completely undermined the anonymous tip she'd left for them. The idea that someone else in this town might have embarked on a similar endeavour and been successful in turning the tides was comforting to her. But what if she was just being naive? "But why would someone go through the effort of framing these people, just to deliberately set them free?" asked Rika, frowning. "Unless this whole setup has been a threat in itself? Do you think someone's trying to say 'this is what'll happen if you're not careful, we'll ruin your life even if you're innocent?'" Rika shuddered. "Gosh, what a scary thought."

Her frustration was nearly immediately mirrored. Sometimes, it only took a little push for the truth of things to come out. Blue, unable to lie and disguise their emotions and thoughts for too long, experienced the dam bursting, so to speak, as they realised opinions were shared. The dryness near shot from their throat. "I think a lot of people would say it's necessary to sit through it. But it's not. I want to know just how much of this is about the spectacle, and not the uncovering of the truth. Maybe it's easier for the truth to stay hidden. Under our nose." Connecting the statement with the question asked near the end, like crossing wires beneath the hard-drive of a desktop computer. Blue's brain functioned in that manner, so far as they were concerned; easier to be logical when it was viewed that way. Leaning in as her eyes closed, curious as to what this meant, but then snapping back to their first position, not wanting to be caught or seen as more peculiar. Even if all they ever were was peculiar. ( Not too cagey. They just lived part-time in a lighthouse. Fine. )

"Oh, it was a threat. For sure." Belated thought: you shouldn't make those remarks with such conviction. That had spluttered through the static of the phone call, too, now that they thought about it. After the instruction given, the signature. Immediate how the jitters formed in their stomach. White-noise, echoed against their ear, reverberating throughout their spine. They'd rather leave these things behind, but there was never such fortune in Blue's hands. Instead, stumbling into darker things. Worse things. Her face, at least, held light. Blue felt as a moth did, stumbling blind towards it. "I don't know where it was rigged, whether planned for that ending or what, but the rigging is thick. And so was the threat. Very thinly veiled, might I add. Nothing subtle about it. Troubling, really." Disguising how affected they were through emotional word-drops. "And despite what we think, now everyone wanders and asks, what do we do now? I don't think we want to know the answer."

[charmwisp]

Autumn had always been her favourite season; although the warm and sunny days associated with Summer had already passed a couple of months ago, it seemed as though the world had truly slipped into a new Autumnal realm the second the calendar approached late September. Now, in early October, the air was crisp and cool and the trees that lined the perimeter of the park were casting a warm glow over those who passed under their leafy canopies. The pathways were flanked on either side by raked-up hills of rusty-coloured leaves, the piles broken up with gaps every few feet like golden-brown battlements. As she walked in an aimless circle around the park, looking only to enjoy the fresh air and the sites of the seasons changing, Rika was in her element.

Or, at the very least, she had been, until a voice had cut through whatever daydream she'd been having. (Funnily, this interruption was so abrupt that Rika could hardly recall what she'd even been thinking about.) She tried and she managed, albeit with some effort, to keep from looking as surprised as she felt as she turned to face the source of this voice; a young woman, likely about Rika's age. If she was older, it couldn't have been by much, and she looked about as awkward as Rika imagined she probably did herself. As for the question itself, Rika didn't have to think very long or very hard. Her sleep had been disrupted the past few nights, not by cryptic nightmares (thank goodness) but by the sound of cats fighting and yowling from just outside her apartment building. If she somehow slept through that, then she'd be woken by the sensation of Charmy, her beloved black cat companion, jumping to attention at the foot of her bed.

"I don't know what kinds of animals you're looking for," said Rika, tapping a finger to her lip in thought, "But there's this group of cats that's been hanging around outside the Seal Harbor complex?" She'd passed them on the way out of the building too and even tried to approach them. They hadn't struck her as true-blue strays and some of them had been far too friendly to be feral streetcats. "It's kind of a trek from here but I could show you, if you'd like?" she offered. "There's probably other animals around the area too. I guess between the cinema and all the people who live in the building, it's a good place for them to go hunting for scraps."

( the local park, october 5, afternoon ) @anchoragestarters

Looking around at the crowds of people milling about the park that Saturday afternoon, Bernadette wondered belatedly if this was a horrible idea. Call it immersion therapy if you want, but for some God-forsaken reason, the illustrator got it in her head recently that the best way to beat her aversion to crowded places filled with strangers was to stick herself right in the middle of one. She had to take a moment to remind herself that this undertaking was ultimately to help her mother, and that if she got overwhelmed at any point, she could easily blend right into the crowds and slink back home to the safety and seclusion of her apartment. But she couldn't sulk off in defeat until she'd at least made an attempt to find the animals that had escaped from the veterinary clinic. And how best to go about this? She supposed she'd just have to ask around.

Cautiously clearing her throat as she steeled herself for the challenge, Bernie approached the first person that crossed her path. "Excuse me. I'm sure you must have heard what happened at the local vet a few days ago. There was an escape of sorts, so a lot of animals are roaming free around town. I was just curious: have you seen any packs of stray animals recently? We've been searching, but a lead would be helpful to steer us in the right direction," she explained, trying to mirror the verbiage used by the reporters in her orbit at work.

[charmwisp]

It was Rika's greatest hope that things around town would mellow out just long enough for life to just feel normal again; between the nightmares she'd been having over the Summer and the fact she'd witnessed the outbreak of that fire from a helpless distance had taken something of a toll on her too. In spite of the fact she was a natural homebody, she'd been trying to get herself out of the house more often, just to ensure her mind was on other things. One other means of distracting herself had come in the form of customising her clothes. The mall itself was always a little underwhelming, in the way she supposed most small town shopping centres were, and the fashion offerings were somewhat lacking and so she'd gotten into the habit of finding cheap pieces to take home and cut up into something cuter. It kept her mind and hands busy and it was saving her money too. The need to find a hobby besides scribbling down a hundred thoughts and theories about the town's goings-on had been at risk of overwhelming her and she felt as though she'd finally found something to put her mind at ease.

She'd entered this particular store to run through their tshirts, to gauge which ones she could cut into cropped tees and tank tops, maybe hack of the sleeves of an oversized sweater and turn them into legwarmers, but it was never a case of grabbing what she liked and hoping for the best. She liked to plan ahead, gauge how things should look and visualise things. For that, she needed a mirror. The only problem was that the mirrors...were a little preoccupied. Rika hardly had a single confrontational bone in her body so she had been pretty content to awkwardly hover at the end of the nearest aisle and pretend to look busy until the other person was finished with the mirror. After a few minutes of waiting around and this other person not moving an inch, not even checking out their outfit and only staring, Rika started to suspect that something else was going on altogether.

"Ah, excuse me," Rika spoke up, her approach gentle. "Are you okay?" Nothing. Just continued silence. This person's mind was clearly elsewhere, sucked into something deep and unavoidable. A younger Rika might have awkwardly moved away and gone off in search of another mirror, determined to avoid a complicated conversation, but she'd come in search of a distraction, hadn't she? It seemed as though she'd encountered someone else in a similar boat, if not one that floated atop more turbulant waters. Rika reached out and, no less softly, tapped her on the shoulder, hoping that, if nothing else, it might help snap her back to reality. The reaction she got in return might have startled another person but it turned out that countless instances of being berated by Raven House customers who didn't like hearing what she had to say had helped her grow quite the tough skin. Something like this was so mild, it didn't even leave a scratch.

"I asked if you were okay," said Rika, softly. "You know, you don't look so well. Maybe step a way from the mirror for a minute— do you need fresh air? It's pretty stuffy down here."

date: august 24

location: down the rabbit hole underground mall

@anchoragestarters

To say that there'd been a lot on Annisa's mind lately would be an understatement. They'd spent months trying to forget the events of that frosty February night, tried to forget the image of that face. And to think, they'd almost forgotten, almost moved on. And then they'd received that call from Leo. And then a call from Ava. And then Cy and then Marisol and the whole lot. Everyone asking them over and over and over 'Are you okay?' To think they'd almost graduated from being the frail, fragile baby of the family. Of course, they knew it was out of fear and love. They knew that their loved ones were afraid for them, afraid for their safety. But Jesus. Their anxiety had been festering for months but now it was fucking skyrocketing, at an all time high. Slowly but surely, the urges had started to creep back into their head, though they tried their best to ignore them. But still, the thoughts were there, lingering.

They'd taken themselves to the mall, of all fucking places, to try and distract themselves. Maybe they just needed some retail therapy. But then, while they were looking at some band tees in some random shop they'd wandered into, they caught a glimpse of themselves in the mirror. Walking towards it, they took their reflected visage in, suddenly scrutinizing each little imperfection, something that they'd tried so hard to train themselves not to do anymore. They almost didn't recognize themselves. It was them but at the same time, it wasn't... But it was their face that was the real problem--because every time they looked at their face in the mirror, they just saw the dead eyes of the clone that had attacked them at the hospital all those months ago. The same face--or rather, decapitated head--that had been left on Leo's fucking back porch. It just didn't look right. Nothing looked right. It was like a dysmorphia they'd never experienced before. You should call your fucking therapist, they thought. They were supposed to reach out to their support group when they felt this way. But... Could they actually do that? How could they put even more of a burden on their siblings who were already worried sick about them? Jesus, this shit never ends. It's just one big fucking cycle, isn't it?

Lost in thought, they didn't even realize someone was trying to speak to them until they felt a light tap on their shoulder. When they finally snapped out of it, they felt disoriented, even though they hadn't moved an inch. They weren't sure how much time they'd actually lost standing there--they're not supposed to lose time anymore, not on a full stomach. That hadn't happened in years. Shit. "What?" they blurted out. "Sorry, I... Sorry.."