chaoticpenguinexpert

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

Your first draft is garbage.

Accept it.

Your second draft is slightly more organized garbage.

Keep going.

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

GIG/CONCERTS THAT I SHOULD ATTEND BEFORE I DIE (UPDATE)

Ben&Ben

The Ridleys

Any Name’s Okay

Clara Benin

Munimuni

Over October

Armi Millare

Alyson

Shirebound

Toneejay

SOS

Kenaniah

Paolo Sandejas

Pinkmen

Dicta License

One Click Straight

Alyson

Suyen

Abra

Lola Amour

Parokya ni Edgar

Zild

THE RANSOM COLLECTIVE

The flu

JK Labajo

John Mayer

BRUNO FUCKING MARS!!!

Eaj

NIKI

NEWJEANS

AJ Rafael

Laufey

P.S. I already attended Ben&Ben Concert last december 2022. Now newly added on this list is Newjeans! OH MAH OH MAH GAWD

UPDATE: Bagong dagdag sa list ay ransom collective. Still listening to their discography but I’m already falling in love with the instruments, parang mediaval na folk na country! 

UPDATE 2: Napanood ko na ang The Ridleys and Munimuni last sept 6 sa jessxpats. Thank you AORC, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! UPDATE 3: Last update was september 9, 2024 and a lot has happened since then, it's now February 17, 2025. We're still on track to 1 gig a month new year's resolution. Updated list because of reasons :))

UPDATE 4: Just watched Cake Single Launch by ANO and last week, also attended Telepono Single Launch by OCS. I LOVE LIFE. Finally got to interact with ate Ria and circle sldskdk noice

0 notes

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

TOTOO BA YUN?

What do you mean that I just attended an intimate acoustic Benny Manaligod gig and get to hangout and actually talk to the person?! I feel like I'm on a whole another class, cause what do you mean I'm friends nos with an artist that I really look up to and inspires me to keep going?!?!

Am I really living or am I dreaming?!

The songs he sung here are unreleased songs that talks about death, life, and grief. I almost cried at the end of every song cause you can feel how he pour his heart out on writing those lyrics. Grrr I don't want to spoil in case anyones reading this pero arghhh that album is going to be so good. Idk if it will appeal to the people but for me it's going to be my number 1 album. All songs that he sung are literally my life experience and perception on how I perceive death and life.

I had another tumblr blog (it's private and thats for a reason hehe). There I talk about how Kuya Benny is the songwriter I aspire to be. Knowing him better now, HE IS THE MAN I ASPIRE TO BE.

I'm rereading what I typed, HAHAHAHA wala syang flow. Idk how to tell stories 🥲 I need to flex this experience to my friends immediately JDMDKSAMSNJSMS

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

also want to attend an open mic this year 🥲 pls pls pls

BUCKET LISTS 2025:

Attend gigs/concerts at least once a month

Write a full song or finish my drafts this year 🤣

Get that ISC2 CC Certification!

Travel to a place somewhere North (kahit solo G!) hopefully it involves hiking or trekking

Achieve 8km PR on running

Participate in an open mic

I think ayan lang muna para attainable ang goals natin. Other optional goals; go on a date, join a community, learn how to cook a hard recipe, and eat a steak!

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

IDK if mababasa mo 'to J, pero tumama ako! HSSHHSSHSHA magkakatotoo yung horoscope reading about getting a lovelife earlier 2025 or habol this year 😎

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

BUCKET LISTS 2025:

Attend gigs/concerts at least once a month

Write a full song or finish my drafts this year 🤣

Get that ISC2 CC Certification!

Travel to a place somewhere North (kahit solo G!) hopefully it involves hiking or trekking

Achieve 8km PR on running

Participate in an open mic

I think ayan lang muna para attainable ang goals natin. Other optional goals; go on a date, join a community, learn how to cook a hard recipe, and eat a steak!

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

WTH?!?! ANG CUTE NYA!!! GRRR!

no, calm down! Walang marupok dito.

Kanina pa ako nag-iisip ng pwede i-reply sa story nyaaa HSHSBSHAHAHAHA hmp

NAUR. I'M JUST A MAN 🫠🫣

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

SHET I can't backread myself dun sa alas tres 🥲

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

Tanikala by Munimuni

feeling too shy to post on tiktok and ig kaya dito muna heheheh

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

— Traci Brimhall, Dear Eros

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

who else up hurkleing their durkleing

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

— Megan Fernandes, “Do You Sell Dignity Here?” from I Do Everything I’m Told

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

I Bet You Think About Me

They say that it is easier to leave than to forget.

As if they are both easy to do– it is true.

We all want to be remembered, aren’t we? And I like it on a deeper level. In a way, I might enjoy myself as a concept of myself, a memory, rather than exactly to be alive. 

How come being remembered makes us feel human?

Science has few limits, and that could be included in the limitations.

If that can be explained, we can avoid it. But we can’t.

A part of us wishes that we will be remembered by all the people we’ve met. This is not all about the reconnection that will heal us; it is the silent recognition that doesn’t need any sweat but mainly needs an emotional effort.

And to my friends that I have lost connection to, to a former classmate that I have never seen again, to a neighbor that moved out, to a relative that I never met again, and to a stranger that became special to me and became a stranger again, I bet they think about me.

Not because I want to be unique or brag about myself for it. But that is the last thing I am holding on to and why I still keep breathing.

The fact that I existed to them as a memory relieves me. 

I cannot explain it directly.

But when they left, it hurt.

Some of the pain that I had with that does not receive any recognition or repentance from them, but I moved on. I did it roughly. And the last thing I am thinking about is whether they still remember me.

You might say, for what?

For my peace of mind.

Or as a respect for myself.

Or is it just an ego boost that while I am living in this life, I am also living in someone’s memory?

Not just to the people who left.  It is also to the people that never existed in my life– but should be in the first place. At least some decency that they knew I was alive. 

I wish to be at least remembered.

To be recognized as a child, a teenager, and an adult.

And I wrote this specifically for you, Dad. 

You might not remember what  Disney princess I liked as a kid, how hard-headed I was as a teenager, or what drink comforts me now— Matcha. But I hope at least my name makes you stop when you hear it.

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

ANG HIRAP MAWALAN NG PHONE!!! I FEEL SO DISCONNECTED WITH THE WORLD KAHIT MAY LAPTOP AKO AHHAHA

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

FEEL KO TALAGA PUPUNTA NEWJEANS SA CONQUEST

[chaoticpenguinexpert]

JUSKOPO

yung mga grades ko po nakakaiyak HUHUHU. Lakas ng loob kong maghangad pumasok sa UP pero wala naman akong study habit. Dito palang mga grades ko eh laging lagapak, what if natuloy pa ako sa UP diba??