chaoticmessymindset

[chaoticmessymindset]

Reading through all my old posts and cringing at 95% of them. Wow it's been a long time. I broke up with my SO, the distance on top of a lot of other things, caused me to drift. I graduated cosmo school a few months ago and am now working at a spa :) gotta retake my test cause i failed it by 3 points. Life is much better, my mentality since i last been here is much better as well. i have 3 cats that i love oh so dearly and mila is doing exceptional. Focusing on me, learning to love me, appreciate me, accept me and being kind to me.

[chaoticmessymindset]

well, a lot has changed since i was last here. Currently in school, hair is not something that i like doing so can't wait to finish up cosmetology and move on to my big goals. the new home is great and it feels wonderful having my own room, space, lil happy place. As far as my mental goes, i've been thinking about seeing a psychiatrist and getting on Zoloft to help with my depression and anxiety along with a few other things.

[chaoticmessymindset]

Woah, it's been a long time since I've been here. Update : I have officially graduated high school. Did I ever find out about my path for the future? yes, I did. Attending Paul Mitchell August 30th and working towards my Cosmetology and Esthiology licenses, beyond excited and proud to say will be attending with my bestie! Weight wise, I have gained some that i'm not very proud of but starting tomorrow that's going to change and i'm truly going to start working on myself physically now that my mental is steady. My mom is in the process of buying us a beautiful mobile home. Her friend is selling and the yard space is amazing as well as the inside of the trailer. The outside does not do the inside justice, AT ALL. My moms big ass bathroom has a Jacuzzi tub and yes i'll be in there almost everyday! I know I said my dog, Mila, was weird af. She's gotten a lot better now and even put on a lot of weight! My baby is growing so fast. In other news, my SO originally was going to move to Texas with his mom and I was highly, emotionally upset but after a month or so of thinking he decided to just stay down here. Despite me being sad about his move, I support anything my rock does. I also started babysitting on the side to make some extra cash and yeah the pocket money is awesome. I know once we move, saving will be a lot easier as well as having to opportunity to workout more, way more! I'm working on my motivation, I always seem to lose it quickly but that is soon going to change as well. Still a lot of room left for improvement but I'm determined to get there. Hopefully I'll remember to come back tomorrow and discuss things about my life. For now, Goodnight ;)

[chaoticmessymindset]

Well today is technically the last day i'm a senior. i graduate may 2nd. What a long hard road it's been. I'm not ready for the real world.

[chaoticmessymindset]

I want to get away and live in this amazing fantasy world. exotic creatures, a beautiful scenery that never fails to take my breath away. Something like a heaven. The afterlife seems so blissful, so peaceful, so much better than what im currently in.

[chaoticmessymindset]

machote

[chaoticmessymindset]

I use to think i had everything figured out, now it's time to graduate and i'm lost. Life isn't in my favor.

[chaoticmessymindset]

It's depressing how you just kick high school students to the curb once they graduate. Such a huge world for such a small person to tackle on their own... successfully, without fail. It's scary, really. I'm beyond scared for my future. If there is one.

[chaoticmessymindset]

so terribly lost in life. I wish i could find any kind of direction, one that will make me happy.

[chaoticmessymindset]

Law studies isn't looking too hot for me, been throwed off lately. I emailed my teacher so hopefully there's something i can do to bump my grade. Wishing/praying.

[chaoticmessymindset]

well, I finish up school next week and all i can say is, wow.

My ap course still runs till may and i have to have everything finished by next week. This is stressing me out to the max and causing me a lot of stress.

[chaoticmessymindset]

A lot of young people in my area have been going missing and/or end up dead. This is so heart shattering and I'm hoping/praying they're found, as well as justice for all the victims.

[chaoticmessymindset]

My stomach has been hurting me for the past month(s), despite figuring out what's wrong, it's difficult trying to live with it. Hopefully my follow up appointment will relieve me.

[chaoticmessymindset]

It's crazy how this world, life, death, everything works. Sitting and thinking/questioning everything has my mind so twisted and shocked. I wish i knew the answer to everything, but i think it's a good thing we don't.

[chaoticmessymindset]

I don't understand why people fuss over things that aren't harmful or has nothing to do with their life. If someone wants to go and get work done on their body, let them! Their happiness matters and they are the only ones that have to live with what they choose to do. Stop being so caught up on an issue that doesn't mentally and physically effect you. Go about your business please.

[chaoticmessymindset]

it's been a while, things have been pretty busy especially with school. I graduate the very beginning of next month and all my work is due either April 21st or 28th and that's honestly enough time for my other courses but not at all for my AP course. I'm stressed.

[chaoticmessymindset]

Tried talking to my best friend and help cheer her up but all she does is think negative. It's like she wants to be sad but constantly complains about it. I don't know what to do at this point, if she doesn't want to better herself, fine.