chaoticbanditzdonut

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

OMG this is so 10/10

title: stranger than a stranger

pairing: pre-boston raider!joel miller x female reader

rating: explicit (18+ MDNI)

word count: 4964

summary:

When Joel sees you searching for supplies in an old school, he removes your companion from the equation and convinces you that you need to join him for your survival.

author's note: a gift for @dreamingofdaddydin, fellow depraved slut, who sent in an ask that i completely changed. please heed the warnings on this one, as there are dark and potentially triggering elements. if you do decide to read and you enjoy, please consider reblogging or commenting!

content warnings/tags: explicit sexual content (18+ minors do not interact), undefined age gap, no use of y/n, post-outbreak/pre-boston QZ, dark!joel miller, perv!joel miller, survival as coercion/manipulation, dub/non-con somnophilia (the actions are not agreed upon before hand but reader is receptive once waking), sex as a thank you, voyeurism, masturbation, canon typical violence (mentions guns, knives, blood), handjobs, dirty talk, pet names (sweetheart, baby, honey), cum eating, huddling for warmth but manipulative, wet dreams, thigh fucking, fingering, unprotected p in v. please let me know if any are missing!

You never expected to live through an apocalypse. In fact, before the cordyceps outbreak, you and your boyfriend had watched Night of the Living Dead and you joked that if the time ever came, just throw you to the zombies or demons or whatever hell unleashed.

Yet here you are, ten years post-outbreak and the collapse of one QZ that you and your boyfriend had been living in, climbing through a destroyed school building, picking your way through rubble as you follow Liam in his search for more supplies.

“The stores around here are probably picked clean, but a lot of people don’t think about checking schools. They’ve got plenty of non-perishables in the cafeteria. Remember? We ate like shit growing up,” Liam explains. He shines a flashlight down a hall. “Well, I guess we ate better than we do now.”

“I miss chicken nuggets,” you lament. He chuckles. 

“I could definitely use a cheeseburger,” Liam replies. 

You continue moving quietly through the school, the cement and linoleum cracked by overgrowth and the abandoned classrooms of overturned desks making you feel like you’re in a whole different world and not just in an elementary school in Massachusetts. 

“You got your knife and gun, right?” Liam asks quietly. You nod, pulling the gun from the waist of your jeans and showing it to him. “Good, keep it handy. You know those fuckers are always hiding around buildings like this.”

You and Liam had just started dating when the outbreak occurred, and you managed to stick together for the last ten years. He’s taught you a lot about survival - shooting a gun, starting a fire, and finding edible vegetation in the woods, among other skills. Despite your original desire to be spared from an apocalypse, you’ve somehow managed to persevere.

“Remember to aim for the head,” Liam says.

You roll your eyes. “No, I figured I’d aim for a foot. Of course I’m aiming for the head.”

“Alright, smart ass. You go down that hall and see what you can find.” He pulls you closer, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’m gonna look for the cafeteria. Meet me back here.”

With another nod, you part ways. 

You both miss the figure lurking in the shadows.

________

Joel watches you disappear around a corner before his attention returns to your companion. The man walks quickly in the opposite direction, holding only a flashlight in his hands. Joel clocks a holster on his hip that must hold a gun or a knife. The man looks like the type to know how to fight, weapons or not.

Too bad Joel is the predator here.

He leaves the dark shadow he’d hidden himself in, following the man with quick, quiet steps. The other man seems alert, but not alert enough to notice Joel following him.

Good.

Joel watches the man draw a gun from the holster, holding it in front of him as he kicks open a set of double doors, sweeping his flashlight and gun into the darkness beyond. Joel slips through the door before it shuts, darkness surrounding him as he lets his eyes adjust.

It looks like a gymnasium, cracked hardwood basketball flooring with faded court lines illuminated in the small flashlight beam of the man, who continues across the court and out another set of double doors.

He follows him back out to a hallway, brightly lit thanks to a hole in the ceiling, crumbled plaster and cement littering the ground. He takes a few steps closer, stopping when he hears a clicking sound that sends a shiver down his spine. 

The man freezes, too, eyes wide, hands tightening on his gun. Joel slowly brings the shotgun slung over his back around to his front, taking it up in his hands.

The clicking grows louder, more insistent. It echoes down the hallway and Joel knows that the creature is aware of their presence. No matter how quiet you are, those fuckers know how to find you.

He aims his gun, finger poised on the trigger. Heavy footsteps approach from the end of the hall, punctuated by the clicking noise that makes his hair stand on end. The creature enters the hall, overgrowth of cordyceps blocking its eyes and features. It pauses, head turning with jerky motions as it seeks out its prey. He watches the other man shift his stance, trying to widen his legs, but his foot catches a rock, sending it sliding across the floor.

The creature’s head snaps at the sound and it ambles closer, faster. Joel takes aim, pulling the trigger and blowing its head across the room. The man turns in surprise.

“Damn, man. Thanks,” he says, taking a deep breath and giving Joel a smile of gratitude. He reaches a hand out as he says, “I’m Li��“

He pulls the trigger and the man collapses to the ground face first, blood rapidly pooling beneath his body. 

Joel approaches, crouching beside him. He opens the bag on his back, rifling through the contents for anything that might be of use. There’s a med kit, ammo for the handgun he’d been using, gloves, a jacket, and a hunting knife. He shoves all of it into his own bag before grabbing the gun beside the man’s body as he stands.

Joel slides the gun into his waistband before turning and heading back the way he came. He imagines the gunshots will have you rushing back to investigate.

Just like he wanted.

________

You hear two gunshots go off, freezing in your exploration of a classroom. You listen closely, ears straining for any sign of clicker activity due to the noise as you slowly draw your gun from your waistband. Hearing nothing in the aftermath of the gunshots, you race back towards the area where Liam had agreed to meet you, heart racing as your mind begs you to choose flight and not fight.

In your panic, you don’t notice the man in the hall until you’re colliding against him, his arms gripping your shoulders to steady you. 

“Who the fuck are you?” You ask, scrambling out of his hold and pointing your gun at him. He’s tall with broad shoulders, a flannel beneath a faded denim jacket stretching over his frame. He has tan skin and dark hair with brown eyes that look at you with concern. “Back the fuck up,” you shout.

The man takes a step back, holding his hands up. “I ain’t gonna hurt you.”

“I heard gunshots. Where’s Liam?”

“I came up on a guy fightin’ a clicker. He was in bad shape,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

There’s a buzzing in your ears as your brain catches up to his words. You blink, eyes burning with tears that you fight back.

“H-he’s dead?” You whisper.

“‘Fraid so.”

You drop to your hands and knees with the realization, gasping for a breath that won’t reach your lungs. There’s movement from the corner of your eye, the strange man taking a step closer, and you raise your gun once more. 

“Don’t,” you snap. “Come any closer and I’ll shoot.”

“Listen. I’m sorry about your friend. But if there’s one clicker, there’s bound to be more. You can come with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you. I’ll be fine on my own.” You keep the gun trained on him as you slowly stand on shaky legs. “I’m leaving now. Don’t fucking follow me.”

You only make it a few steps before he’s calling out after you. “There’s worse things out there than the infected. Girl like you won’t last long.”

“The fuck does that mean?”

“It means,” he says, the tone of his voice grating your nerves, “that there are bad fuckin’ people out there, ones that’ll take advantage of a girl headin’ out on her own. Some who won’t give a shit that a gun is bein’ pointed at their heads if it means they die tryin’ to bring you down with ‘em. Is that really somethin’ you wanna go through right now?”

Your resolve waivers. He’s probably right. In the ten years you’ve been struggling to survive, you’ve always had Liam at your back. Even in the QZ, before it collapsed, he kept you going. You could survive out there when it came to skill, but would you make it far on your own when clickers move in packs and raiders run rampant?

“I…I guess I’ll come with you,” you say, lowering your weapon. You flick the safety on and the man smiles.

“The name’s Joel.”

________

It’s been a week since joining Joel. The two of you keep a steady pace in your travels, though there’s no real destination in mind. He’s been on his own for a while, he tells you, having split from his brother who had gone to join the Fireflies in their fight.

“Fuckin’ stupid if you ask me,” he grumbled after telling you that little bit of information. “They ain’t gonna change shit.”

You just nod along, wrapped up in your own thoughts. You can’t pinpoint it, but something about Joel makes you wary of him. He’s been nice enough, sure, but there’s something off about the way he looks at you.

You’ll catch the older man staring at your ass when you’re walking ahead of him, or see the way his eyes go dark when you’re on your knees starting a fire. His hands will linger on your hips a little longer than necessary when he’s helping you jump down from something, or he’ll watch a little too intently as your lips wrap around the mouth of your water bottle.

What’s worse is how it makes you feel hot all over when you shouldn’t feel anything, least of all attraction when you’ve just lost your boyfriend. 

It’s starting to get cold at night. The days are still tolerable, since you’re always on the move and the sun is shining, but once the sky goes dark, you struggle to stay warm. You layer your two jackets and even that’s still not enough as you lay shivering in your sleeping bag. You turn over until you’re facing where Joel has his bag set up, curling your legs closer to your chest and squeezing your eyes shut.

Past the sound of your teeth chattering, you hear the shift of fabric, the glide of skin on skin, a low groan. Your eyes snap open and as they adjust to the inky darkness, you can make out the vague shape of Joel on the ground. Another choked off moan rings in your ear, the sound of it making your blood go hot. You listen as his movements and breaths and sounds grow more frantic, the desperation they’re laced with making you rub your thighs together as subtly as you can. 

“Fuck, fuck,” Joel pants quietly. The air goes still, the sound of his hand moving over his cock slowing to a stop. You wonder where he’s finished. In his hand? On his belly? Your brain conjures an image of you licking the spend from his skin, salty taste of him on your tongue as you look up into his eyes and he groans.

You have to bite your lip to keep your sounds to yourself. You wiggle a hand between your legs, clamping your thighs around it tightly and rocking slightly. It’s not nearly enough and it’s so frustrating you want to scream.

Eventually, as the adrenaline seeps from your body, sleep takes its place, your eyes fluttering shut as darkness consumes you.

You dream of bitten off groans and curses in a voice that belongs to a stranger with dark hair and brown eyes.

________

Two weeks after joining the two of you encounter your first band of raiders.

You’re in a small town picking through a convenience store. There’s a surprising amount of things left on the shelves, including cans of food that you’re tossing into your backpack when the sound of a gun being cocked makes you freeze.

“Hey, pretty girl. Why don’t you put some of that back for the rest of us, yeah?” An unfamiliar voice says. You glance over your shoulder, a large man with a thick beard smiling at you. You turn slowly, hands raised and mind racing with your options. 

He’s blocking the exit. You could try to dart around him, but the gun trained at your head is a bit of a worry. Your own gun is in the waistband of your pants, pressing against your low back. Not much help to you like that. You should have been holding it the whole time.

“Hand over your fucking bag,” he says, the calm in his more alarming than if he were yelling at you. “Got me some food and a pretty little pet to keep, too.”

Your blood turns to ice and your heartbeat pounds in your ears as you swallow hard, bending down to grab your bag. 

A shot rings out, glass shattering and you shout, dropping lower to the ground. You open your eyes slowly, you gaze landing on the body of the man lying on the ground in a rapidly expanding pool of blood. You look up, eyes finding Joel’s beyond the shattered window of the convenience store as he lowers his gun.

A shout has Joel whirling, gun drawn as three men appear from an alley. He shoots, one of the men dropping. Grabbing your bag, you rush to the front of the store as another shot rings out, shattering the glass of the door. You drop to the ground, pressing your back to the wall beside the window and peeking out.

Joel slings his gun over his back, landing a kick to a man that rushes him, the stranger landing on his back. A second man points a gun at Joel.

“On your fuckin’ knees!” He barks. 

Panic courses through you, but you reach behind you, grabbing your gun. You switch the safety off, leaning from your hiding spot to take aim through the window at the man. Your hands shake as you take a breath in, like Liam taught you, pulling the trigger as you exhale. 

The shot lands in the man’s abdomen, making him stumble and drop his weapon. Joel stands, rushing for the man as he pulls a large knife from his hip, plunging the blade into the man’s chest. 

The man he kicked is getting to his hands and knees when Joel turns on him, knife held at his hip. A wicked grin spreads across his face before he plants his boot against the man’s ribs, knocking him onto his side. Joel shoves at him with his foot until the man is on his back and he stands over him, a foot on either side of his hips.

Joel raises the knife above his head before swinging it down into the man’s chest, holding it there for a moment before he twists it savagely and pulls it free. You stand there, equal parts horrified and something worse, eyes wide as you watch Joel wipe the blade against the man’s clothes to clean it.

“Get their guns, will ya?” Joel calls out. The sound of his voice makes you jump, your muscles finally spurring into action as you comply with his request. 

Later, as you settle in for the night in your respective sleeping bags, you hear the tell-tale sound of shifting fabric and bitten off moans. You stare up at the dark sky, pinpricks of starlight winking back at you, as you gather your courage. 

“Joel?” You murmur. The sounds stop abruptly, the only thing you can hear is his heavy breathing.

“Thought you were sleepin’,” he grunts. 

You turn over on your side, facing him. You can barely make him out in the dark, only his silhouette, but your heart beats faster all the same as you say, “I could…help.”

He’s quiet for a long moment, so long that you’ve got an apology on the tip of your tongue when you hear the zip of his sleeping bag being opened.

“Come help, then.”

________

Joel tries to contain his enthusiasm. Nights of coming into his own palm while he knows you’re listening, imagining your hand around his cock instead of his, and now his patience has finally paid off.

You’re crawling across the grass to join him in his sleeping bag, your body pressed to his in the tight space. He takes a shuddering breath, the feel of your heat alone almost enough to make him come. 

Your hand rests on his belly, tentatively sliding lower until your fingers brush against the hair at the base of his cock. He hisses as your cold hand grips him at the base, slowly sliding up to his leaking tip. Your thumb circles his slit, smearing a bead of precum around the sensitive head as he groans into the night.

“That’s it, baby,” Joel says. Your face is tucked against his neck, and he wishes you’d turn your face up, let him kiss you, but he has to be smart and only take what you’ll give so that one day you’ll offer more. “Tighter, just like that, fuck.”

Joel’s hips flex to chase your fist, the soft feel of your palm driving him wild. He moans, louder than he should be given the vulnerable position this puts you both in, but he doesn’t give a fuck. All he cares about is you.

“This a ‘thank you’, huh? For killin’ those guys?” Joel pants. Your head nods against his neck and the admission makes his head feel light and fuzzy. “Told ya you needed me, sweetheart. Needed someone to take care of you, right?”

You hum, squirming against him. Your lips graze his neck and that’s the final nail in his coffin, his cock pulsing in your hand as he comes harder than he has in years. He can’t help but whine a little when you let go, already missing the warmth and the softness of it.

“Clean it up for me, baby,” Joel says. You bring your hand up, nothing but a dark shape against darker air, and he hears you licking at the cum coating your fingers. “That taste good?”

“Mhm,” you hum. When you’re done, you roll away from him, crawling back over to your sleeping bag and zipping yourself inside. 

With a sigh, Joel shimmies his jeans back up his thighs before turning on his side, letting the sounds of the night lull him to sleep.

________

You’ve been with Joel for a month when winter really starts to settle in and you’re forced to keep moving in your travels until you’ve found abandoned buildings to sleep in to stay out of the harsh winter air. While the snow might not reach you inside, the cold certainly does. 

It’s one such night that Joel suggests sharing body heat.

“It’s the best thing we can do to keep warm,” he explains. “Can’t keep a fire goin’ inside. Too dangerous.”

You swallow nervously. He’s zipping together your sleeping bags so that you can fit beside each other, laying it on the ground of the old stockroom you’ve barricaded yourselves in for the night, a little camping lamp on a metal shelf providing a little light.

Joel kneels to untie his boots, removing one then the other and setting them aside. He stands, sliding his arms free of his jacket and setting it on the shelf. When he starts to unbutton his flannel, your blood rushes in your ears.

“W-what are you doing?” You ask. He pauses, hands on his buttons.

“Gettin’ undressed. Can’t share body heat with clothes in the way.” 

You stand there frozen as he continues to strip, t-shirt and jeans and boxers all joining his growing pile of clothes until he’s naked in front of you and you’re struggling to keep your eyes on his face with so much muscle and skin on display. He slides into the sleeping bag, staring up at you expectantly.

“You gonna stand there all night?” He asks, lips tilted in a little smirk. “Come on. We’ve come a long way today and you gotta be tired.”

You’re exhausted, really, the kind of tired that settles into your bones and makes your limbs heavy. Slowly, you follow the same steps as he did to undress, starting with your shoes. It doesn’t escape your notice that he’s watching you with dark eyes the entire time, until you’re down to your underwear. 

“Those, too,” Joel says. 

“Why?”

“I don’t make the rules, sweetheart, I just follow ‘em. Skin to skin is the only way this’ll work.”

Reluctantly, you reach behind your back to unclip your bra, letting it fall to the floor. Your nipples are tight in the cold room and you grit your teeth against their chattering as you quickly tug your panties down your legs and add them to your pile of clothing.

You slip into the sleeping bag beside Joel, the heat of his body immediately making you feel warm all over. You zip up the sleeping bag, cocooning your bodies in the insulation. Joel turns on his side, sliding his muscular around your tummy and tugging you closer. The hard length of his cock presses to your thigh and you lie perfectly still, afraid to move.

“Go to sleep,” he grunts. You close your eyes, the tension slowly leaving your muscles as you listen to his deep breathing in the dark room. 

Somewhere between the warmth of his body and the feel of his breath against your cheek, sleep finds you.

________

Sometime in the night, you’ve turned on your side, your ass pressed snugly against Joel’s hips with his cock slipped between your cheeks. He wakes to the feel of you grinding against his length and his arm tightens around your middle as he groans.

“Joel,” you murmur. He lifts his head to see if you’re awake, but your eyes are shut, brows pinched together. Your hips move against him again and he bites into his lower lip to keep his sounds contained, not wanting to wake you and ruin this.

You murmur his name again and his head drops back to the arm he’d been using as a pillow. He gives a little experimental thrust of his hips and you moan, the sound making his cock jump against you. 

With careful movements, he lifts your top leg, laying it over his hip. He lets his hand drift lower, gliding over your tummy until he’s cupping your pussy gently. His fingers slide through your wetness, catching on your swollen clit and making your hips jerk.

Joel worries that you’re awake, but you’re not scrambling from his grip yet. He circles his fingers slowly, so slowly, your hips moving against him and your breathing coming more quickly. You let out little whimpers and whines that Joel wants to commit to memory, the sound of them sure to plague him any time he closes his eyes.

You’re growing wetter and Joel grows bolder, slipping his middle finger into your tight entrance, not able to hold back his moan of appreciation over how your cunt flutters around the digit as he slowly pumps it inside of you. 

Another whimper of his name from your lips has his sanity fraying further, his hand moving faster against you, damn the consequences of you waking up to him playing with your pussy. Your muscles go tight against him with your release before going limp, your breath stuttering. He lifts his head once more to check if you’re asleep, surprised to find your face lax with bliss, eyes still closed as your breathing slows to normal.

Joel withdraws his hand, using it to grip his cock, sliding your juices over his length. He angles himself to where his cock is pressed up against your lips before gently lowering your leg. He’s surrounded by warmth, your pussy and thighs cradling him perfectly. 

He thrusts his hips, his cock gliding through your wetness with ease. He loses himself to the slick glide, the tip of his cock catching against your swollen clit with each thrust. His fingers dig into the meat of your hip for leverage, pulling you back towards him as he groans against your shoulder.

Your muscles go stiff against him and he freezes as you whisper, “Joel?”

His name is a question this time and he knows he’s been caught. 

“It can be another ‘thank you’, yeah? For keepin’ you warm?” He asks, dragging his nose across your bare shoulder. “Could feel so good for us both,” he whispers, thrusting against your clit and reveling in the shaky moan you give him in return.

“O-okay,” you stutter. Joel presses a kiss to your shoulder in gratitude as he returns to the rhythm he’d set before you woke. He slides an arm over your middle, hand finding your breast and gripping it forcefully as you moan.

“That feel good, baby?” He asks. You nod, whining and squirming against him now. “Know what would feel better?”

“W-what?” 

He draws back, positioning the tip of his cock against your hole. Your breath catches as he slides inside the slightest amount. Just the tip.

“Would feel so good, right? Fillin’ you up, stretchin’ you,” he whispers. “You could keep me warm just like I’ve been keepin’ you warm all night.” You clench around him and he moans, hips flexing and sliding him deeper into you as you gasp. “So goddamn wet and tight.”

Joel slides the last bit deeper, until his hips are flush to your ass. You’re panting, cunt fluttering around him as you adjust, and he feels drunk on the feel of it, on the feel of you. He pulls out part way before sliding back in with a harsh thrust, the start of a punishing rhythm that has you chanting his name.

The slick slide of you over his cock feels like heaven, but he wants more, wants you cock drunk and earning your pleasure. You are supposed to be thanking him, after all.

He pulls out, lying on his back. “Get up here, sweetheart. It’s time to do your part.”

You turn until you’re facing him, and Joel gets impatient, grabbing at you until he can haul you into his lap, your slick, swollen pussy gliding over his cock. He groans, reaching between your bodies to hold himself steady, notching the thick head at your entrance.

“Take it, baby, come on,” he groans. You rock back until his cock is buried in your cunt, your knees pressing tight against his hips as you whine.

“S’deep,” you slur, rocking yourself over him. 

“Feels good though, doesn’t it? So fuckin’ deep in you,” he growls. Your chest is pressed to his, your lips so close he takes his chance, slotting his mouth against yours. 

You kiss him back, messy and desperate, moaning against his lips as you take his cock like you were made for it. And maybe you were. Why else would he have been in the right place at the right time, getting the chance to keep you all for himself?

You sit up further, hands planted on his chest as you ride him with fervor. Your blunt fingernails dig into his skin and make him groan, hips punching up into you as you rock back. When you moan desperately, he does it again, and again, until you’re letting out a choked little sob that makes his cock pulse inside of you.

“Come for me, honey, wanna feel this pretty pussy choke my cock,” Joel demands. He can feel your walls flutter around him, your noises growing desperate. He brings a hand to your clit, thumb circling the sensitive bundle of nerves until you tighten around him, squeezing his cock as you come undone with a shout.

You collapse forward and Joel wraps his arms around your low back, holding you steady as he plants his feet and pounds his cock into you with harsh thrusts, chasing his release. Your teeth dig into the sensitive skin of his neck and the sharp sting sends him over the edge. He pulls out at the last moment, his cum splashing between your bodies in thick spurts. 

You lie on top of him, catching your breath. Sweat grows sticky on Joel’s skin as the cool air settles around them, your back erupting in goosebumps as you shiver. He maneuvers your bodies until you’re cradled against him again.

“Go back to sleep, sweetheart,” he murmurs.

When you nestle closer, body lax against his, he smiles in triumph.

_______

You wake before Joel the next morning, body sticky with the mess from the night. You cringe, wiggling away from Joel’s hold. You find your discarded shirt and water bottle, intending to soak the fabric to wipe yourself clean, only to find your bottle is empty.

You locate Joel’s backpack, knowing he keeps his water bottle in there. You dig through the contents, hand bumping against the familiar bulk of a handgun. Your brow furrows. You haven’t seen Joel use a handgun. He uses the shotgun on his back, the other weapons you’d collected from the raiders stored in your bag.

You pull the weapon free and inspect it. You know this gun. It’s the same gun you’d learn to shoot with, the first one Liam found in the aftermath of the outbreak. Your blood turns to ice. 

Joel said he’d seen Liam get attacked by a clicker. If that’s the case, when did he get Liam’s gun?

The sound of Joel moving in the sleeping bag has you shoving the gun back into his bag and grabbing the water bottle you’d gone in search of in the first place. 

You’ll have to worry about your discovery some other day.

Want more Joel Miller? Check out the masterlist

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

OMG I LOVEE THIS

Yandere Movie Week

Day 1 - Fear (1996)

Male Yandere x Fem Reader, 1.7k words

 Your dad doesn't like your boyfriend.

Hardly breaking news. The amount of boyfriends who are chummy with their future father-in-law is in decidedly short supply. Like, national crisis level shortage.

Still, you aren't sure why your dad has such a problem with him.

Your boyfriend is sweet. He's charming. He takes your dog out on walks and gets along with your ancient and sour tom cat. He picks you up from school and keeps his hands to himself whenever your pops is around.

He's smart, in his own way. Good with his hands, the top student in your school's auto shop class.

A catch really. Out of your league, if you want to be honest.

But your dad doesn't want to hear any of it.

"Home before ten, not a second later."

"Don't you dare leave the living room when he's here. Either you stay where I can see you, or he doesn't come over at all."

"You're only allowed to drive home from school with him. I don't want you in that deathtrap of his any longer than you need to be."

Your boyfriend takes it in his stride. The only sign that it bothers him is the slight strain in his voice.

"Yes, sir. I'll get her home on time."

"No, sir. We won't leave the living room."

"I drive under the speed limit all the time, sir."

A different man would have given up on you ages ago. It isn't pleasant, being subjected to scrutiny and barley veiled menace every time you want to take your girl out on a date.

Somehow, he manages.

"It's easy," he tells you after yet another uncomfortable dinner with your father, his arm around the back of your seat as he pulls out of your driveway.

"I just keep reminding myself that I'm going to marry you. He'll have to soften up once I have a ring on your finger."

You can't ignore the way your heart jumps when he says that.

"Don't joke about stuff like that."

He grins at you. "Not joking. Gonna make you my wife someday."

You twist your hands in your skirt and tell yourself he's just pulling your leg. You're too young to be thinking about marriage. You need to focus on picking out graduation gowns, not wedding dresses.

Still, it's a nice thing to think about. A silly little fantasy to keep your smile in place when you get home from your date and your dad insists on grilling you. Something to dream about before bed, when the sheets are cold and you want nothing more than to have your boyfriend between them.

He brings it up again on your next date.

"Gold or silver?"

"For what?"

You're at the gun range, your boyfriend polishing up his skills. The crack of gunfire only slightly muffled by your ear protection.

He's reloading his pistol, fingers quick and fast.

"For your engagement ring."

You freeze for a second, and then start giggling.

"Yeah, right. Are you going to ask me if I want cream or ivory tulle next?"

He shrugs, cocking his pistol with a practiced, easy pull.

"I say cream. Looks better with your skin tone."

He gets into a firing stance and aims at the cut out.

"My dad might not even say yes. Have you thought about that?"

He fires. One bullet after the other until the clip is empty. The veins and muscles on his forearms stand out; he's gripping the gun that tight.

When it clicks on an empty chamber, he sets it aside and pulls off his ear protection. The retrieval system whirs as his target gets pulled towards you.

"I've thought about it," he says quietly.

You're about to say something when you catch sight of his target. Bullet holes straight through its forehead, a stray or two lodged in its throat. You count them up in your head and compare it to the amount of bullets you saw him load.

He didn't miss a single shot.

He's good with guns, but you've never seen him this accurate before. What the hell is he focused on, to land every shot?

You look up to find him watching you.

"Your dad will say yes. I know he will."

Your dad doesn't say yes.

You aren't aware of it. All you know is that your boyfriend stops walking you to your front door after school, and that your dad is awfully quiet at dinner for a few weeks.

Your dad doesn't say yes the second time either.

It's a late Friday afternoon. You're at study group with your friends while your father and your boyfriend square off against each other. Sun slanting through the big bay windows and spilling in golden stripes across the carpet.

"You're too young."

"I love her!"

"You don't even know what love is!"

"I know enough. I want to be with her. Is that so wrong? We won't get married right away."

"Not. Happening."

Your father is as tight wound as a hair trigger. Your boyfriend not much better. For a second, your dad thinks the kid might actually be stupid enough to hit him.

Go on, give me a good reason to kick you to the curb, you little shit.

He doesn't. Just pulls in a deep breath and turns to leave, door slamming hard behind him.

Your father sits down with his anger still coiled tight in his chest. Anger, and fear too. There's something about your boyfriend that unnerves him. That hair raising feeling of nails on a chalkboard. Not logical at all, but too strong to just be gut instinct.

Kid looked like he wanted to kill me.

You father has to make a conscious effort to unclench his fists.

When you get home that day, he kisses your forehead and prays that you change your mind about the whole thing. Date someone a little less... strange.

No luck. He hears you on the phone with your boyfriend all evening.

Is the kid really going to let it go? Or is he going to keep asking?

Your dad doesn't get his answer. Two days later, his car goes off the road.

Brake lines wore out and finally snapped, the cops tell you.

It's raining hard when they give you the news, little droplets of water on their uniforms despite their oversized black umbrellas.

You're too cold and stunned to answer them.

It's only when your boyfriend comes over that you manage to speak, to think of a sentence or two beyond, "But I just saw him. How can he be dead if I just saw him five minutes ago?"

He pulls you onto his lap and let's you cry into his shirt, smoothing your hair away from your face.

"It's okay baby, I'm here. I've got you."

It's only after the funeral that he asks the question he's wanted an answer to for months. The funeral parlour is almost empty. Your dad's coffin long gone.

He keeps his arm curled around your waist as you bid the last of the mourners goodbye.

"You never gave me an answer."

You blink at him, thoughts mired in molasses.

"An answer to what?"

He smiles, head tilted in that boyishly charming way of his.

"The only question that matters. Gold or silver?"

Day 1 - Fear (1996)

Day 2 - Secret Obsession (2019)

Day 3 - Hush (2016)

Day 4 - The Perfect Guy (2015)

Day 5 - The Boy Next Door (2015)

Day 6 - The Invisible Man (2020)

Day 7 - Til Death Do Us Part (2017)

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

Now this is very interesting

Yandere Movie Week

Day 2 - Secret Obsession (2019)

Male Yandere x Fem Reader, 5k words

After your accident, you wake from your coma in fragments and pieces.

There's the blackness first. A nothingness somehow deeper than sleep. Then the voices, snippets of conversation that you're too hurt and drugged to understand. And finally, in those few hours before you fully wake up, there are the dreams.

You're always running in your dreams. Bare foot, the rain pounding down. Running from something you can't see.

When you wake up, you don't remember. The feeling lingers though - that hair raising knowledge that you're being hunted.

You notice the heart rate monitor first. The constant beeping spiking straight into your head.

You groan. Open your eyes.

An IV drip, bland beige walls, a cheap watercolour painting. Voices out in the hall. Painfully bright florescent lights.

You stay perfectly still for a few seconds, feeling strange and out of place.

What happened? How long has it been? Where exactly am I?

You try sitting up. A bad idea. Your whole body is an unresponsive mess, numb and weak all at once.

"Hey, take it easy."

A palm settles on your shoulder and gently pushes you down.

"You've been through an awful lot. The last thing you need is to push yourself."

You try and focus on the stranger, your vision still murky around the edges. He's wearing a surgical mask and a baseball cap, his eyes squinted at the corners like he's smiling at you.

"Where am I?"

"Riverfate Private Medical Centre."

"Isn't that way out in the mountains?"

"Yes ma'am."

Your head hurts. So does your left leg. And your shoulder. And a dozen other places, now that you think about it. It's hard to focus.

"But I live in the city."

He raises a brow. "You don't remember?"

You shake your head. A bad idea. Pain and light lance through your skull.

You hiss and touch your temple. You're met with a thick wrapping of gauze and bandage.

"Do you remember what happened to you?"

"I...um, I think I was supposed to go out to lunch with my boss. I don't know what happened after that."

"Do you know what year it is?"

You tell him.

"Do you know who I am?"

He pulls down his mask and leans a little closer to you, his eyes searching your face. You don't recognise him at all.

He's handsome, in a clean cut sort of way. He's wearing a sweater and jeans, a pair of glasses hooked in his pocket.

"I don't think so. I don't remember you."

"Not even a little?"

You don't like the way he's looking at you. Like he's watching for the smallest twitch or stutter. Like he doesn't quite believe you.

"I'm sorry. I really don't know you."

He leans back and pulls his mask back up, but not before you see his smile.

"That's okay. I'm not offended. You've had a pretty hard knock on the head."

You figured that part out from the throbbing headache and persistent, low grade nausea. But you suppose it's nice of him to tell you.

He raises his hand and you realise he's holding the nurse call button.

"Let's get you properly checked out, yeah?"

It buzzes when he presses it and it doesn't take long for a nurse to pop his head into the room, quickly followed by a doctor.

"How long has she been awake?"

"Not long," your visitor answers, even though you assume it's been a good few minutes.

Your doctor runs you through some basic questions, her lips getting thinner with each answer.

"Post-tramuatic amnesia," she announces, "Not surprising given the nature of your injuries. Some of it will come back to you, some of it won't. For now, I want to keep an eye out for any signs of cerebral edema. Beyond that, it's just a matter of rehabilitation."

"How long until I can take her home?" the stranger asks.

She glances at him. "And you are?"

He doesn't hesitate. "Her fiancé."

You stare at him, not sure you heard him right.

"I'm engaged?"

He shoots you a look and reaches out to briefly rest his hand on yours.

"For a few months now. I'll tell you all about it later, promise."

The doctor raises her brows but doesn't comment.

"She can be discharged in a week or so, bar any complications," the nurse answers.

"Good. I want to get her home as soon as possible. Better to be in a familiar place, right baby?"

You're too overwhelmed and confused to answer him. Engaged? Really? You haven't had any long term relationships, much less had a guy get serious enough to consider marriage.

The doctor shrugs and checks her watch. "I think there are a few police officers who want to speak to the both of you. But it's better if the patient rests for a few hours. You need to take things slow, especially so soon after waking up."

She orders the nurse to give you something with a complicated sounding name, and less than fifteen minutes later you're knocked out. Drifting back into the dark of your dreams.

Your fiancé watches you until you fall asleep, his expression hidden by his mask.

The police officers are tired. You can tell, even though you're still a little out of it yourself.

"You don't know what happened? Nothing at all?"

"No. I'm sorry."

"She's injured," your fiancé snaps, "Of course she doesn't remember. Take it easy."

"What about you? Where were you when your wife was being admitted?"

"Rushing here, obviously."

"The hospital staff said they didn't contact you."

"You must have spoken to the wrong shift. I was here at three, right after they released her from surgery."

The cops sigh, shift in place. You reckon they want to be done with you as soon as possible.

"Seems pretty straight forward," one says, "It was raining heavy last night. Driver didn't see you crossing the road. A bad accident that could have gone a lot worse."

What were you doing walking in the rain at two in the morning? You don't get a chance to ask before they're already standing to leave.

One of the cops pauses at the door and points at your fiancé's mask. They briefly asked him to remove it but now it's right back in place.

"What's up with the mask?"

"I hate hospitals," he says simply. "Can't stand the smell. Or the germs."

The cop shrugs, tries to smile. "You'd hate my line of work, I can tell ya that much."

When they're gone, your fiancé comes to sit on the edge of your bed, wary of your leg in its plaster cast.

"Look what I found. I thought you lost it in the accident, but the nurses kept it aside."

He carefully takes hold of your hand and slips an engagement ring onto your finger. The metal pleasantly cool against the feverish heat of your skin.

You stare at it for a long time. Gold, with a huge rock front and centre.

You don't remember picking it out, don't remember saying yes. But it very much feels like something you'd choose. It looks perfectly at home on your finger.

"Do you like it?" he asks softly.

"Yes." You look up at him and smile, your heart fluttering and the heart rate monitor going crazy. "I love it."

"But it isn't jogging any memories?"

You shake your head.

"Well, guess we'll just have to make new ones." He doesn't sound upset at all.

You look down at his hands. He's wearing gloves, even though the AC is pleasantly warm.

"Can I see yours?"

He chuckles and tugs off his glove. He let's you take hold of his wrist without complaint, watching as you tilt his hand this way and that.

His ring is clearly a twin to yours. A simple gold band scratched a little from daily wear.

You carefully pull it off his finger. He doesn't stop you, though he does lean forward a little. It's a bit too loose on him. Needs to be sized down just a tad. Did he lose weight recently?

There's an engraving on the inside.

"Forever and a day?"

"Mm-hmm. It's what you promised me. From the moment we met."

It's cute, you have to admit.

"You gonna give it back? Afraid our engagement has a very serious no take-backsies clause."

You giggle as you pull him closer.

"We've got to do this properly, you know," you tell him. "So. Will you marry me, handsome stranger?"

He doesn't hesitate even a second.

"Yes. Right now, if I can nab a priest from the hospital chapel."

"I don't think those come with priests."

"What, not included in the comprehensive package?"

You laugh a little and slip his ring back on. It looks good on him. You wish he wouldn't keep covering it up with his gloves.

"It's the germs," he tells you when you bring it up. "And I know you're going to say hospitals are like the cleanest, most sanitised places on earth. But I swear I get sick every time I visit one."

You raise your free hand and press it against his neck, the only bit of open skin on his body. He stills. Hell, you think he stops breathing for a second or two.

"Warm. But not feverish. I think you'll be okay, big guy."

It takes him a moment to reply, his eyes fixed on your face.

"Thanks. Feels good when you say it."

You smile at him, your cheeks tingling.

"You flirt."

He catches your wrist when you start to pull away. You can't be sure, but you think he's smiling.

"Only with you, baby. Only ever with you."

Recovery is a long process, and one that continues even after you get discharged. Your doctor is diligent in monitoring you, and tyrannical in making sure you play all the memory and card games recommended for rehabilitation.

They annoy you at first. Kids games, almost. Remember where the apple is and match it to the other apple. Shuffle the cards and remember where each one goes.

But it's not long before you realise exactly how important it is that you get better at them.

Your brain is awfully slow, never focusing on one thing for more than a few minutes. Your recall isn't nearly as good as it was. You get headaches whenever you think too hard on the blank spaces where your memories ought to be.

Your fiancé watches you from the edge of your bed as you lay out your cards and then lay them out again. He doesn't help you, not even when you get so frustrated you want to hit something.

He just lays a hand on your thigh or your calf and tells you to take your time, that you'll get it right eventually.

You get used to having him around. Find yourself looking forward to seeing him every morning.

The day that you're scheduled to be discharged, he shows up with a huge bouquet of your favourite flowers and a basket packed tight with your favourite chocolate.

"How did you know?" you squeal, your nose buried in the petals.

He laughs and runs a hand through your hair, careful of your stitches.

"You're my wife to be, baby. I know everything there is to know about you."

When he helps you into your wheelchair he presses a kiss against your temple.

"Are you ready to go home?"

You ought to be hesitant. Ought to wonder a bit more about the man with your ring on his finger. But in the confusion of waking and the rush of being around him, it doesn't occur to you at all.

"Absolutely. Rescue me from these awful beige walls, my handsome knight."

He laughs and kisses your cheek.

"As you wish, my lady love."

The discharge papers are a thick stack, and by the time you're done signing, your fingers ache. His name isn't anywhere to be seen, except for as the emergency contact.

"We still haven't updated our health insurance," he explains. You shrug and hand the papers back to reception, glad to finally be going home.

It's only when you're in his Jeep and driving further into the mountains that you think to ask where home actually is.

He tells you the address and laughs when you stare at him.

"Did I not mention it? We moved a few months ago, after you quit your job."

"But I love work. I find it hard to believe I left."

He hums quietly. "I think you'll understand when we get home."

Home. When he says it, you can't help but think of your apartment in the city.

It's coming back to you in bits and pieces. The security guard at the door, the long week spent picking out and assembling furniture when you first moved in, the scramble to get ready for a night out in your cramped bathroom.

You don't remember your fiancé though. No matter how hard you try.

The drive up to his house (yours too, try and remember that) is much longer than you expect. You doze off at some point, and when he wakes you the last bit of sunlight is fading into dusk.

The house is huge. The windows already blazing light, the front door standing open for you. It's all wood and stone, with pretty French doors.

You don't recognise any of it. 

"Is it only us out here?"

"Yep. Pretty big place for just the two of us, but you like the quiet. Here, put your arms around me. The gravel will just get in the way of your wheelchair."

"You're going to carry me in?"

He grins at you, half his face in shadow.

"Just like I did on our first night."

He pulls you out of the car and you curl your arms just a little tighter around his neck. No need. He's much stronger than he looks, walking all the way to the door without once loosening his grip on you.

He pauses on the threshold.

"Welcome home, baby."

He carries you into the house, the picture perfect husband to be. It makes your stomach flutter and your cheeks burn. How the hell did you manage to snag a man like him?

"We'll save the tour for tomorrow, yeah? I think it's best we get you to bed."

You nod against his chest. Tired in the bone weary way that comes from medication wearing off and pain setting in.

He takes you to the master bedroom - a sprawling, wood panelled room with a huge fireplace and a balcony that looks out on the trees.

"You should see the view in winter," he murmurs as he sets you down. "White and sky as far as the eye can see."

You're hurting, true. But there's a heat coiling through you wherever his touch lingers. A husband to be... doesn't that mean a wedding night too?

"I can think of better things to do in here than look at the trees," you say softly.

He tilts his head. "And what would those be?"

You still have your arms hooked around his neck. You pull him closer to you, until his hands come to rest on the bed.

"Is this where we celebrated our first night as an engaged couple?"

He freezes up and then nods.

"And did we enjoy it?"

"Yes," he answers, breathless.

"Not fair that only one of us remembers it, is it?"

Your brush your lips against his. Not exactly a kiss, but very close.

He stops breathing.

You let go of his neck and rest your palms on his cheeks. It's a little strange seeing him without the mask, and a little strange to be touching him so intimately. But he's spent almost every waking hour taking care of you. Has been nothing but sweet and gentle. Doesn't that deserve a proper thank you?

"Love?"

He pulls in a sharp breath and pushes you down onto the bed. Crawls on top of you, his knees on either side of your waist.

You laugh, breathless.

"Oooh, didn't think you were so pent up," you tease.

He doesn't answer you. Just drops his head to your neck and buries his nose in your hair.

You heart is going a mile a minute. Your whole body feels electric. Doc said to take it easy but what else is a girl supposed to do when her man is so handsome and so unbearably close?

You run your hands through his hair. He makes a small, choked sort of noise and brings his palms up to cup your face.

"I love you."

A mix of desperation and want. He straightens up, fisting the duvet on either side of your head.

"I love you," he says again.

You smile, reach up to brush your knuckles against his cheek.

"I think I'm falling in love with you, too."

He moves forward and the moonlight catches in his eyes.

You freeze.

That look. That hungry, scorching look...

Adrenaline rips through you and your jerk up, pushing yourself backwards.

He almost falls off the bed, catching the frame at the last second.

"Baby? What's wrong?"

He follows you and you almost scream.

"Baby?"

He stills, one hand reaching for you.

"I don't... I don't know. Just... just give me a minute."

What the hell was that?

It's like your body remembered something your mind couldn't. Threw you right back into a moment where you were terrified, where your heart was racing and a scream was being stifled in your throat.

He reaches for you again and you jerk away without thinking.

You don't want to be touched. Not by him, not by anyone. Not while that awful half memory is still running through your synapses.

"I'm sorry. Can we take a rain check, please? I'm not ready."

He doesn't answer immediately. He drags his eyes down your body, the same searching way he did when you first woke up. Trying to find something in your eyes, in your posture.

"Fine," he manages. "Rain check."

He pushes himself off the bed, his entire body stiff.

"I'm going to take a shower."

He doesn't wait for you to answer.

You pull your knees to your chest and try to tell yourself that it's nothing to worry about. Your brain was rattled loose, of course there's going to be sparks firing in the wrong cylinders for awhile. These strange reactions don't mean anything.

You have no reason to freak out like this. Your fiancé has been nothing short of perfect.

You tell yourself that, but you still flinch when he climbs into bed with you.

You pretend to be asleep when he slings an arm around your waist and pulls you against him. He buries his nose in your hair, sighs like a man coming home at long last.

"It's going to be okay, baby. You and I will be just fine. I'll make sure of it."

He's long gone when you wake up. The sun is slanting across your pillow and you give up on going back to sleep.

He left your wheelchair next to you, and after a few false starts, you manage to haul yourself in. You're still wary of putting too much pressure on your injured leg, and you flinch when an accidental knock sends a sharp pain lancing through your ankle.

Ouch. Not so easy when your man isn't around to hold you. If you needed yet another reminder, the dull throb in your ankle serves just fine.

Whatever happened last night, you still need him.

You take your time exploring the bedroom, opening all the drawers you can reach. Your clothes are neatly packed away, your heels lined up on the floor of the cupboard. Your books are sitting on the shelves, complete with all the knick knacks you've collected over the years.

There's a picture of you and your fiancé on the nightstand. He's got his arm around your waist and you've got your head tilted back to look at him. It's cute. And something about the way he holds you makes you feel warm and safe.

The room door is the only thing that gives you trouble. It's heavy, and difficult to swing open from your wheelchair.

You fiddle with the handle for a few minutes before finally giving up and calling for your fiancé.

You worry that he might not hear you through the wood, but a few minutes later your hear his footsteps.

He swings the door open and smiles at you.

"There she is. How did you sleep, gorgeous?"

"Okay. Was the door locked?"

He shrugs and fiddles with the latch.

"I don't think so. But it does tend to stick sometimes."

He leans down to kiss your cheek. "Don't worry about it, baby. I'm here to save you."

He makes you breakfast, and in the bright light of day its easy to forget the way he looked at you last night.

Easy to relax and laugh at his jokes and admire the way his forearms flex when he works.

You forget about your worries until lunch time rolls around.

He's chopping vegetables for a salad, the light bouncing off the knife. You aren't sure why it catches your attention - maybe you're just attracted to shiny things - but it has no trouble holding it.

There's something in the way he holds his knife that makes the back of your neck prickle. Makes some long dead gut instinct stir.

"Love?"

"Hmm?"

You aren't sure what you're going to ask until the words are already spilling out.

"I hate to be a bother, but do you think you'll be able to run to town later? I want to make my mum's chocolate mousse and I need a few ingredients. I'm really craving it."

He raises a brow. "Y'know, I've never tried it. You kept promising to make it, but work always got in the way."

"You promised to marry me without trying my chocolate mousse? Terrible oversight. The sort of thing that leads to divorce."

He winks at you. "I had some other sort of dessert in mind when I proposed."

He locks the front door before he leaves, and waves at you before he drives off.

You give it five minutes before you start searching. Enough time to make sure he isn't turning back.

You aren't sure what you're looking for - you just want something to jog your memory. A smell, the angle of the sun on the tiles, a picture or two. Whatever it takes to explain why your body is afraid of a man who's given you no cause to fear.

Most of the rooms are locked. That bothers you. Why would you need locked doors in your own house?

It's his study that seems the most promising. But his laptop is encrypted and you give up after five failed attempts at cracking his password. His desk drawers don't yield much beyond discarded receipts and half empty pens.

Well, until the last one.

It's locked, but after a few minutes of searching, you're rewarded with a key. Taped to the underside of the desk, totally out of sight and reach unless you're in a wheelchair.

Score.

The drawer is stuffed to bursting and it takes you a while to work it open. When you finally succeed, you're met with a stack of meaningless papers. Names and places you don't recognise.

You try to bite back your relief. Don't get too happy too soon. There might still be - if not skeletons - bones in the closets.

You shuffle through the pages without finding anything suspicious. You're about to put them back when you notice the phone.

It's tossed at the very back of the drawer with a few other odds and ends. You dig them out, not sure what you're looking at.

A man's ID. Neither the name nor the picture bear any resemblance to your fiancé. You don't recognise the owner.

Odd, but not insanely so. Maybe he's just holding onto it for someone.

A leather bracelet, with a metal band attached. You flip it over to read the engraving.

Forever and a day.

Still not suspicious, you tell yourself. You don't wear every piece of jewellery you own. It's crazy to expect your man to.

It's only when you power the phone on that you run out of excuses.

The wallpaper is a copy of the framed picture in your bedroom upstairs.

Except it isn't your fiancé that's holding you.

You breath catches in your throat. The man from the ID, his dimples showing as he smiles at you.

The phone isn't locked but you're not sure where to start. There isn't any signal, and when you scroll through the call log you don't recognise any of the names or numbers.

Pictures then. Those ought to clear things up.

They don't. The gallery is messy, but it isn't hard to find the pictures of you. There are hundreds.

Casual pictures of the two of you hanging out - kissing this stranger on the cheek and doing mud masks together. Corporate shots from work conferences - the two almost always next to each other.

You scroll and scroll, a widow into a life you don't remember.

The man is wearing a ring in some of the most recent pics. The same simple gold band your fiancé has.

He's wearing the bracelet too. That promise - forever and a day - pressed against his pulse.

You can't hear your own thoughts over the pounding of your heart. If this stranger is your fiancé, then who the hell was in bed with you last night?

"Baby. What are you doing?"

You whirl to face the door, your wheelchair shrieking against the tile.

Your fiancé (is he really?) is standing in the doorway, his eyes on the phone still clutched to your chest.

"How did you find that?"

You don't answer him. When he takes a step into the room, you back away.

He stops, watches you with his hands raised, palms up like he's calming at animal.

"Who the hell are you?"

Your voice isn't strong, but it's strident. Rough with the edges of panic.

He flinches. "It's not what you think."

"What else could it possibly be? You lied to me. Why?"

A thousand little things are clicking into place. Small mysteries that don't seem quite so harmless with the full picture laid out in front of you.

You have to dig your voice out of your throat before you manage to speak.

"You're not really scared of germs, are you?"

He looks at you for a long time. The sweet, kind, caring man who isn't at all who he claims to be. 

"No," he says at last, "I didn't wear the gloves or the mask because of the germs."

You try again, somehow more caustic.

"Tell me who you really are. Don't I deserve that much?"

"I'm the man you're meant to marry. What else matters?"

You grab the sides of your wheelchair, fulling intending to push yourself past him. Let him explain his story to the detectives and the district attorney. You want no part of it.

He jerks forward on instinct.

You blink and he closes the gap between the two of you. Slaps a hand over your mouth before you can scream.

God, how does he move so fast? You remember the hard muscles you felt when he hugged you to his chest last night. He might look harmless on the surface, but you're quickly realising the depths of his strength.

You twist your free hand in his shirt to shove him off but it's useless - you don't have any leverage at all. Your wheelchair rolls backwards until it's pinned against his desk.

He sighs and pulls the phone out of your hand.

You watch helplessly as he scrolls through the gallery, deleting one picture after the other.

"This is just a bit of silliness, baby. A little lapse in judgement. Your mind isn't what it used to be, you can't trust everything you see."

Whatever you try to say is muffled by his hand.

He sighs again and looks up at you, smiles in that prince charming way.

"Don't freak out, okay? This is exactly how things are meant to go. You and I were always endgame, baby. You just... forgot."

Your head is starting to ache. That same sharp, splitting pain you felt when you first woke up. His cologne is different today. Something woody and deep that makes your stomach churn. It's familiar, though you can't remember ever smelling it before.

He shuts the phone off and shoves it in his back pocket, his attention back on you.

His eyes have that awful glint to them again.

You think back to you hospital discharge - his name isn't anywhere on your papers. He's unrecognisable on camera with his mask and his hat. He's a ghost, as far as the investigation goes.

If there's an investigation at all.

As far as the authorities are concerned, you're safe at home with your fiancé. Your friends from the city (do you even have any? It's been so long since the last clear memory) probably assume you're on some incredible honeymoon with no cell service. No one knows where you are. 

He tilts his head and runs his free hand down the column of your throat.

"We just need to jog your memory, that's all. You'll calm down once you realise exactly what happened."

His hand falls from your throat to your jeans, his thumb stroking half circles against your inner thigh.

"You were always meant to be mine, baby. That's what you told me, the night you asked me to kill your fiancé. You promised me it would be just the two of us, for forever and a day."

Day 1 - Fear (1996)

Day 2 - Secret Obsession (2019)

Day 3 - Hush (2016)

Day 4 - The Perfect Guy (2015)

Day 5 - The Boy Next Door (2015)

Day 6 - The Invisible Man (2020)

Day 7 - Til Death Do Us Part (2017)

Taglist: @jsprien213 @trolleri-trollera @mel-vaz

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

Oh nice

》 dark!rafe v-day drabble #3

word count — 1.9k

warnings — MDNI; dark!rafe, stalking, abusive relationship/domestic violence + mentions of, breaking and entering, rafe posts readers n*des, brief mention of rafe being in jail, rafe violating a restraining order, drugging, implied kidnapping, lmk if i’m missing something!!

a/n — i couldn’t think of a title ok!! but based off of a comment from this post, thank u sm for the idea! also may or may not have already used this pic IDK alsjdidnfjf anyway enjoy <3

{ other dark!rafe v-day drabbles here }

rafe took to social media after the breakup to slander your character in every sense of the word. he made post after post, story after story detailing his ill feelings towards you, calling you every derogatory name in the book. when you ignored all of his antics, rafe took to spamming your social media. he flooded your comments with demeaning, belittling content, and the same went for your messages. he went through your following list and messaged close to every guy he found, letting them know just how he felt about you; trying to get them on the same delusional page he was on.

as frustrating and stressful as all of the online harassment was, you honestly preferred it over the contrasting verbal and physical. you planned to leave it at that, but rafe posting nude photos and videos he took of you online was the last straw.

you’d gathered as many screenshots as you could, compiled in a folder with pictures of past bruises and injuries to present to the local police department.

they’d never offered you a listening ear before, but it was hard to ignore revenge porn, and hard to deny when anyone could see it.

the state of north carolina made it virtually impossible to secure the order of protection, but you came out successfully on the other end of a long trial after providing the mountains of evidence against your ex; laying out numerous instances of his blatant abuse in front of a jury. the hoops you had to jump through paid off though, and eventually, rafe was ordered to cease all contact with you, in person, online and over the phone. he wasn’t even allowed to contact anyone associated with you, namely friends and family. he even had to spend a night or two in jail for posting the pictures of you. of course, his dad bought him out of it.

and naturally, the first thing rafe did when he got out was contest the order, selfishly forcing you through yet another court process as he tried to debunk every claim you made against him. it was a terrible time, but you were victorious in the end, and again your ex was ordered to avoid you at all costs.

still, even with the paper in your hand and your request granted…you didn’t feel any more free from rafe, no matter how much you tried to convince yourself otherwise.

because rafe cameron never responded well to rules, and definitely not to threats. sitting in jail for a day or two was one thing. but trying to scare him with prison time if he went against your little paper boundary? it was laughable, truly.

rafe saw boundaries as mere suggestions, and he never followed those.

that’s how he found himself forcing his way into your apartment late in the evening on valentine’s day. maybe it was the spirit of love wafting through the air that day, but something inspired him to pay you a visit, wanting to spend the day of love with the girl he loved.

you’d started back at your old job after the split. rafe knew what time your shift was over; he always familiarized himself with your routine, even when you thought you were being discreet or effectively switching things up.

the sound of your front door clicking open startled you, and when you turned your head from your spot on the couch, you were shocked to find your front door cracked. instantly, you were on your feet.

the last thing you expected to see when the door swung open was your ex-boyfriend, holding a fresh boquet of roses in his hand.

your breath hitched in your throat, and your legs felt like they could no longer support your weight.

words couldn’t find you fast enough; you couldn’t saddle in and verbalize everything you were suddenly feeling all at once.

luckily, rafe broke the silence for you, a deluded smile plastered on his face as he stepped inside and kicked your door shut with his foot.

“hey baby.” his steps were slow and calculated, serving to chill you to the bone as you matched each one with a slight stumble backwards.

“happy valentine’s day,” he extended the flowers towards you for a moment, making sure they caught your attention.

“miss me?”

“how…how did you get out…?”

your voice was quiet, hardly able to speak above a whisper. your worry and fear crescendoed the closer he inched towards you.

rafe let out a harrowing laugh, so loud and obnoxious that you visibily winced.

the kook shrugged when his laughter finally subsided. “money talks, baby.”

he laid the roses out on your kitchen island as he moved past it, turning and stepping closer to the living room where you were still stationed.

rafe took his time sauntering over to you, looking around your home and taking in all the sights and rooms he’d never been in before; you’d made an abrupt move across town after the breakup, but thankfully rafe was good at prying for information.

“nice place,” he started, voice totally collected. rafe was so calm, even after breaking into your home, compared to the way you were riddled with nerves.

“glad i finally get to see it…i mean, outside of your pictures, of course.”

he laughed again, now closer to you than he had been in so long. you never thought you’d be in such close proximity with him ever again.

you’d been so strong and brave going against rafe in the court system, feeling empowered to speak out and stand up for yourself in a courtroom full of people…but here, trapped in the confines of your one bedroom apartment with just the two of you…all of that confidence was lost.

you almost forgot how intimidating your ex was. how tall and broad he was, how much stronger and scarier he was than you.

but it was all too hard to ignore when you felt your back hit the wall, and rafe brought his arms up on either side of you, caging your tense frame in between him and the wall.

your hands instinctively raised, bracing in front of rafe’s chest, but not actually pressing against it. you almost didn’t want to touch him, couldn’t bring yourself to do so. you’d be forced to admit that this was really happening if you did.

rafe recognized this, and he stepped up even more, forcing your back further into the wall and pressing his chest right up against your hands. the abrupt contact had his eyes rolling back slightly and falling shut. he couldn’t describe the way it felt to have your hands on his body again.

…just like you couldn’t begin to describe the way it felt to be back in his presence again.

rafe had you crowded against the wall. you turned your face to the side, trying to evade his gaze. peering around his arm, your eyes frantically searched for a possible way out of the dauting situation.

“rafe…” you spoke slowly and calmly, not wanting to give your ex any reason to freak out on you. your fingertips shook as they pressed into his chest.

“…you know you can’t be here. i-i,” you paused, drawing in a shaky breath to steady your nerves. you didn’t want to appear weak to rafe; so you cursed yourself when you stuttered on your words.

“i have a restraining order.” your tone was much more firm this time.

rafe tilted his head, lips forming a pout as he lowered himself down to your eye level, chasing your gaze as you tried to evade his.

“aww,” he started, tone laced with sarcasm, “a restraining order? you’ve gotta a restraining order, huh? yeah?” he was taunting you, even more so when he suddenly brandished a folded up piece of paper from his back pocket.

“you mean this one, right?”

he unfolded the letter he’d been served and shoved it directly in your face. you hardly caught your name in big bold letters across from his.

“wanna know what i think of your little restraining order? hmm?”

you were offered no chance to respond before rafe ripped the paper clean in half with both hands. you flinched at the action, thought rafe wasn’t satisfied with stopping there.

he began full on shredding the paper now, ripping it corner from corner, letting the pieces fall to the floor.

it brought tears to your eyes. even a court ordered rule that you had to fight like hell for didn’t apply to rafe; he truly believed he was above any and everything, even the law.

you’d never escape him, no matter what lengths you went to. you felt so hopeless being stuck in his arms again, and you leaned your head back against the wall at the thought.

“…what do you want, rafe?”

“what do i want?” he repeated the question with wide eyes, like he couldn’t believe you’d asked such a thing.

“i wanna spend valentine’s day with you…with my soulmate.” his fingers grazed over the side of your face as he murmured the words lowly, studying your face for a reaction.

and your first reaction to his words wasn’t verbal, but instead, an emotional one.

your frown deepened as hot tears pooled beneath your lashes. eyes falling shut, you held your breath for a moment, thinking it might stop them from spilling over. the salty streams were inevitable, though. especially when rafe tucked some strands of hair behind your ear before cupping both sides of your face. your eyes peeled open, and the taunting look he was now wearing sent a shiver through you.

“aww, baby. you gonna cry?” you shuddered when he swiped the pads of his thumbs gently over the skin below your eyes.

“it’s okay,” his hands snaked down lower at an agonizingly slow pace, coming to rest around your neck. no real pressure was applied; large hands simply stationed there, holding you against the wall.

his hold slid down to the middle of your chest, holding you there with just one hand now while the other reached around to his back pocket, pulling out what took you entirely too long to realize was a damp white cloth.

rafe stared at the fabric in his hand with a sigh.

“i didn’t wanna use this…”

he craned his gaze up to you, and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest.

“…but i doubt you’d just come with me willingly, huh?”

“wha-?”

before you could even get the word out, rafe’s face dropped, and he pressed his entire figure into yours, pinning you to the wall and lifting the white fabric to your face.

you tried to scream when the cloth was slapped over your mouth and nose by a strong hand, rafe curling his fingers around your face and using all his strength to hold it there, even as you squealed and squirmed between him and the wall. 

it didn’t take much to overpower you; rafe could withstand your hands scratching and swatting at him for as long as it took for the liquid in the cloth to knock you out.

unable to use your words, you pleaded instead with a terrified look in your eyes. you kept them locked on rafe in hopes of being able to tug on the right strings.

but as tiny black dots began to cloud your vision, rafe showed no remorse. he didn’t look phased by your tears, or by what he was even doing at all. his face looked totally expressionless and stoic as he practically suffocated you with the wet cloth.

you whimpered against his hand, and rafe began shushing you lowly. eventually, you started succumbing to the effects of what you assumed to be chloroform; vision narrowing, skin startling to tingle.

you could feel your legs buckling beneath you; but rafe’s knee inbetween your thighs, his arm across your chest and hand on your face kept you upright.

rafe only found himself easing up when he felt your struggle start to simmer out beneath him. 

the more limp your body gradually became, the more he pulled back, hands dropping to catch you when you ultimately slumped over.

right before blacking out completely, rafe’s voice rang out through the overwhelming static sound in your ears.

“it’s gonna be alright now. when you wake up…”

he got excited just thinking about what you’d say when you woke up later. “we’ll be together now. forever.”

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

run

Raider! Joel Miller x Female Reader

*moodboard is for aesthetic purposes only. no mention of reader’s race or skin tone.

summary: When you’re given the chance to run from your captor, you don’t take it.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. RAIDER ERA. DARK!JOEL. DUBCON. MENTIONS PREVIOUS NONCON. UNSPECIFIED AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s and Joel is 50). reader is described washing her hair (the exact length is not specified) and she wears a dress. she is also shorter than Joel. violence, kidnapping, reader has major stockholm syndrome, Joel is fairly soft for her but HE IS STILL NOT A GOOD MAN, brief mention of Tess and Joel being involved with each other, Tess seems like the villain but she might actually be the only one of these three who is not totally fucked up in the head. SMUT. daddy kink. size difference (no description of reader’s body type, Joel is just a big guy with a big dick, enjoy it). oral sex (female receiving), super risky unprotected p in v sex (mention of reader ovulating, Joel pulls out, don’t be be like these two, practice safe sex), creampie (yeah he doesn’t give a fuck the second time around). many, many pet names (baby, baby girl, honey, angel, sweetheart, little girl). um i think that’s it. oh, and they fuck in the dirt.

PLEASE HEED ALL WARNINGS.

word count: 8.6k

a/n: one thing about me is i WILL soften up EVERY version of Joel Miller to my little heart’s content. HUGE HUGE thank you to @endlessthxxghts and @joelsdagger for lending me their eyes and beta-ing this fic for me last night. <33 i love and appreciate you guys SO MUCH. i loved seeing you both in the doc at the same exact time lmao. this can be read as a standalone, but it is considered part of the captive universe.

Everyone in the group has a job. Except for you.

Or at least, that’s what you hear them say.

That bitch doesn’t do shit.

She never has to lift a fucking finger.

She should work for her meal—just like the rest of us.

Bitterness laces their tones when they talk about you.

Insults grow a little bolder when he’s not around.

Useless.

Freeloader.

Leech.

You might not be out there with a rifle in hand hunting game or invading camps and spilling blood for supplies—but you do in fact have a job, and that job is to make Joel Miller happy. It is your responsibility, your duty, to please him, and to keep him satisfied. Because keeping him satisfied keeps him in a good mood, and one thing you’ve come to learn about your captor is, where there is a good mood, often there is mercy.

Hell, you’re doing them a favor by keeping their violent, fearsome leader in a good mood. Because you’ve seen what he does to them when he’s not. He can be just as brutal towards his own people as he is to strangers.

It doesn’t make a difference, though. They still see you as nothing more than his coddled little whore.

“Fuck, that’s it.”

He groans, his thick, callused fingers digging harshly into the softness of your flesh as he holds you firmly in place underneath him. “Oh fuck, baby girl,” Joel curses through gritted teeth, his hands gripping your hips as he uses his own weight against you, pressing you down into the old mattress until you feel every uncomfortable lump, each creaking spring.

While he isn’t fucking you as roughly as he has on other occasions, he’s hardly being gentle. It’s hard, fast.

Loud.

Joel couldn’t care less about the rest of the group, the men and women on the other side of the wall, forced to listen to the sounds coming from the single bedroom of the cabin he decided they would hunker down in for the remainder of the summer season. Strings of curses and brutish grunts that came rumbling from deep within his chest, pleading gasps and whimpers that fell from your swollen, bitten lips. If anything, knowing they were listening only spurred him on—it didn’t hurt to remind them, especially the men with wandering eyes, that you were his special girl.

His good girl.

You certainly did your job, and you did it so, so well.

“Christ, sweetheart. M’so fuckin’ close—” Joel picks up speed, his hips snapping even harder, faster, the front of his thighs slapping against the backs of yours. Each thrust causes the bed’s rusted, iron headboard to slam violently against the wood panel wall.

You clutch fistfuls of the single, stale, yellowing sheet beneath you, each stroke he delivers knocking the wind out of your lungs, making it harder to breathe. He is so heavy on top of you, this big, broad, bulk of a man who makes you feel swallowed, smothered, and small. Joel takes up so much room inside of you, and it’s a wonder how you could possibly have any space left to spare.

It’s a fullness you can’t seem to get enough of.

It’s a craving, a need.

Worst of all, it’s slowly becoming a want.

“Daddy,” you choke out, fisting the sheet tighter, your skin stretching taut over your knuckles. Can the others also hear the squelch of your drenched cunt around his cock as it begs him for more?

“Fuck. You’re doin’ so fuckin’ good for me, baby,” Joel croons his praise. His hands abandon your hips and he hunches over you, his thrusts momentarily ceasing. He crushes his chest against your sweaty, quivering back and leans forward even further, bracing his large hands on either side of you. Then, his lips move to the shell of your ear and he speaks, his breath blazing hot on your skin. “Y’take me so well, honey. Y’take Daddy’s cock so fuckin’ well. This pretty little pussy was fuckin’ made for me. She was made jus’ for me—ain’t that right, angel?”

He’s right.

Oh, how you fucking hated that he was right.

It was made for him. Your cunt. Your body. You.

Every part of you was made for him, and only for him.

All you can do is nod dumbly in agreement.

“Say it,” Joel whispers his firm command. “Wanna hear you say it. Be a good girl and use your words. Say it, say this pussy is made for me.”

“Yes, Daddy,” you moan obediently, prompting him to grin against your ear. “My pussy is made for you, just—just for you. No one—no one else. Only you.” Could this really be the same voice that would break, grow hoarse from screaming for him to stop? The same voice that would beg and plead for him to set you free?

Jutting his hips forward, Joel buries himself to the hilt, eliciting a noise from you, something caught between a pained whimper and a contented sigh. His balls, heavy and full for you, rest on your clit, which is still sensitive to the touch after he’d spent a majority of the morning with his head buried in between your legs. Desiring yet another release, you try wriggling around beneath him in a silent plea for more. More, more, more.

Please, Daddy. More.

Joel’s grin widens. He places one of his hands on your soft lower belly, fingers dragging down the slope of it until he finds the slick swell of your seam between your legs where his girth splits you open. “Ready, baby?”

Nodding, you open your mouth to answer him, but the sound of your own groan cuts you off when his fingers firmly circle around your throbbing, swollen bud. “Oh,” you breathe, instantly sinking right into his touch. Your eyes screw shut tightly in pleasure, and you throw your head back onto his shoulder. The scruff of his beard is rough on your cheek, and it burns, the same way it had burned the tender flesh of your inner thighs.

His hips find their rhythm as you rub against his hand—you’re almost there. He knows this, you can tell by the chuckle that thunders in his chest and against your back. But you’re too busy chasing your pleasure to be embarrassed.

He’s made you a needy, greedy girl.

“Daddy,” you mewl, trying your hardest to move under him, to work your cunt up and down on his cock. “I’m gonna come—” You gasp, back arching as Joel strokes in and out, his fingers rubbing your clit with urgency.

Joel plants a sloppy, wet kiss on your cheek. “Give it to me, baby,” he grunts. “C’mon. Lemme feel her squeeze me.”

Feeling how close he is too, you try to hold on for just a little bit longer, at least long enough to finish with him, but Joel’s relentless, and you’re forced off of the ledge you’re both standing on first.

Crying out, your walls spasm around him, asking to be filled until he’s made a complete mess out of you, until white leaks, and it slowly dribbles down the insides of your trembling thighs.

“Fuckin’ Christ,” Joel rasps. He lifts himself off you and he pulls out, taking his throbbing cock in his hand. His chest heaves as he fists himself, the wet sound of your slick in his palm filling the room. “Down,” he grits, and you obey him, lowering down yourself on the mattress until you’re lying almost completely flat before him. He gives himself one final stroke just as you look over your shoulder at him, the gentle flutter of your eyelashes the last push he needs. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck—” Joel spills his load, shooting thick ropes of warm cum along the soft curve of your spine.

You rest your cheek on your folded arms, biting back a small sigh.

He’s left behind an ache—you feel painfully empty.

But it was Tess, who had been given the task of helping you track your menstrual cycle, that had given him the warning earlier that morning. “She’s ovulating. Don’t be a fucking idiot, Joel. Last thing we need is for her to—”

“Relax,” he’d gruffed in response. “I fuckin’ know.”

Spent, Joel hunches over you once more and he lightly kisses the top of your head before burying his nose into your hair. “Good girl,” he murmurs. Affection that once was unwelcome and unwanted, that once made you feel sick to your fucking stomach, now makes you feel something else entirely. You’re not quite sure what it is, only that it’s warm. Comforting. “Y’did so well for me, sweetheart. Always do.”

Your lips curl into a faint, tired smile he doesn’t see.

A while later, you find yourself perched on the bed with the sheet wrapped around you, quietly watching as he gets dressed. “Daddy?” you say tentatively as he drops into a nearby chair to pull on his boots.

“What is it, baby girl?”

“Do you—do you think we can go to the creek today?”

Joel finishes lacing his boots and looks up at you.

“I’d really like to wash up,” you admit, softly. That, and you would like to see the light of day. He’d boarded up the windows with slabs of wood—sometimes, if you’re lucky, you get some decent light seeping through the teeny gaps.

“Not today, honey. I’ve got some things to take care of. Supplies are low, we gotta do a run. Don’t have the time to take you.” He stands and picks up his rifle, slinging the strap of it over his shoulder. Noticing the crestfallen expression on your face, Joel’s eyes soften. He walks over and gingerly cups the side of your face in his palm. His thumb strokes your cheek. “Promise I’ll take you to the creek tomorrow, sweetheart. First thing. Alright?”

Nodding, your eyes fall to your hands in your lap.

“Okay.”

Joel kisses your forehead, then leaves the room.

He makes sure to lock the door from the outside, and you can’t help but wonder if he knows locking you in is no longer necessary.

“I can take her.”

Joel’s dark eyes remain focused on the state map laid out on the table in front of him. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about, Tess?” He sees her in his periphery, but is too busy figuring out the group’s best route to look her way.

“I heard her asking you to take her to the creek so she can bathe,” she tells him. “I can take her.”

Finally, his head snaps up and he turns to her. “What?”

Tess leans her hip against the table, crossing her arms over her chest. “You and Tommy can take the group, go and take care of what you have to take care of. I’ll stay behind and take her down to the creek,” she suggests casually, as if she’s not asking him to trust her with his most prized possession—the only damn thing on what was left of this fucking earth Joel Miller actually gives a shit about. “Once she’s washed up, I’ll bring her back to the cabin and put her back into the room. Easy.”

Joel stares at her, bewildered. “What makes you think I’d fuckin’ allow somethin’ like that?”

“Oh, come on.” She huffs and rolls her eyes. “Anytime I bitch about having to do something for that girl, you’re on my fucking case about it, and now that I’m offering to do something for her, you don’t wanna let me?”

He shakes his head and lowers his voice. “You’re talkin’ about takin’ her outside, Tess. Without me.”

“The creek’s just a mile away,” Tess reminds him. “I’m pretty sure I can handle getting her there and back with no trouble, Joel.” When he says nothing, she cocks her head to the side and scoffs. “What? You don’t trust me enough to take her under my wing for a couple hours?”

Joel’s lips pull into a tight line. 

Of course he does. Tess was his right hand woman, his second in command.

He trusted her more than his own fucking brother. She had never given him any reason not to, had never given him a reason to doubt her loyalty to him. No, his lack of trust has nothing to do with Tess—but everything to do with you. He doesn’t trust you. He will never trust you.

“What if she tries to—?” He can’t even say it.

“Tries to what?” She pauses. “Run?”

His throat goes dry and he gives her a subtle nod.

Joel Miller was a bad man who did bad things, but you were his good. You’ve brought back some meaning into this wretched life of his, gave him something that felt a lot like a sense of purpose. You were something for him to take care of, to keep safe and protect.

Tess raises an eyebrow at him. “You think I’d even give her the chance? Besides, the girl’s not that stupid, Joel. She knows better than to try anything. She knows she wouldn’t get very fucking far.”

“Tess—”

“I’m just trying to do something nice for her. Besides, I think it might do her some good to be in the company of someone else for once—the company of a woman.”

Joel peers at her, taking a minute to think it over in his mind before asking, “You’ll have her back in the room before I get back to the cabin?”

“Long before then,” she swears. “All in one piece.”

He hesitates. He’s still not sure.

It’s then that he remembers that disappointed look on your sweet, pretty little face. “Alright,” he relents with a deep sigh. “I trust you, Tess.”

It always feels a bit strange to be outside.

But being outside without Joel?

It feels even stranger.

When he’d walked back into the room and told you Tess was willing to take you to the creek, the news had taken you by complete surprise. When he said he was willing to let her take you, that you almost couldn’t believe. It hadn’t even sunk in until the three of you stood outside the cabin and he was kissing your forehead sweetly in a temporary goodbye before turning to Tess.

“Never take your eyes off her,” he’d instructed her.

“She’ll behave.” She had smiled at you as she pulled her pistol from the waistband of her jeans, the gleam of the silver barrel catching your eye. “Isn’t that right?”

Swallowing dryly, you had answered with a strained, “Of course.”

She’s the last fucking person you wanted to cross. She was almost as terrifying as Joel, if not more.

“Tess? W-Where are we going?” you ask as you trudge along behind her, hoping you don’t sound as winded as you feel. Although you had no way to keep track of the time, it felt like you’d been trekking for at least an hour. Your feet are starting to hurt in your shoes—old, worn, yellow canvas sneakers that certainly weren’t made for hiking. “I don’t remember the creek being this far from the cabin.”

Tess snorts. “Don’t tell me you’re tired already.”

“It’s just—we’ve been walking for a really long time.”

She glances over her shoulder at you. “Here I thought you would be a little fucking grateful to be out getting some fresh air,” she chuckles, shaking her head before turning her attention back to the path ahead.

“I am,” you squeak, stumbling over a fallen branch.

Silence falls over the both of you.

“We’re not going to the creek,” Tess finally speaks after a minute. “I’m taking you somewhere else. Somewhere even better. Just trust me, kid. Now hurry up.”

It takes another hour before you reach your destination, and you hear it before you can even see it, a humming sound that turns into buzzing the closer you get. Then, you feel it, a vibration in the rocks beneath your feet. “Is that a—?” Stepping around her, your mouth falls open in absolute awe at the sight before you.

The waterfall is nestled right in between the trees and surges over the rocky mountain, throwing up bubbles of spray as it plunges into the lake at the bottom, and from there, it foams into a thick, white lather at the base. On the bank, where you stand, you spot different types of vegetation you couldn’t identify even if you tried—all you know is that it’s green, and it’s beautiful.

“This is incredible,” you gasp.

“Way better than some little creek, huh?” Tess tucks her pistol into the waistband of her jeans and shrugs off her pack. She digs around in the front pocket and pulls out something wrapped in a piece of crumpled brown tissue paper. She hands it to you. “Here.”

“What’s this?”

“Well, if you’d fucking open it, you would know,” Tess rolls her eyes. “It’s my last piece of soap. It’s all yours.”

Her kind generosity comes as a surprise—usually, Tess wanted nothing to do with you. But you don’t question it, and you certainly don’t turn the rare luxury down.

“Thanks,” you say, shooting her a grateful look.

Tess nods towards the body of water. “Alright, then. Go on and get to it.”

You take the piece of soap out the tissue. The scent of lavender is faint, but still very much there. Joel will like the smell of it on your skin tonight, you think.

As you start to pull the strap of your cotton blue dress down your shoulder, you feel her gaze fixed intently on you. Heat rushes to your cheeks. “Uh, aren’t you going to turn around?”

“For fuck’s sake,” she scoffs. “I’ve got what you’ve got. Now hurry up, we don’t have all fucking day.”

Nodding, you peel off your dress and underwear, your face on fire as the older woman’s eyes slowly drag over your naked body. Carefully, you step off the bank and wade into the water. It’s so clear that you can count the pebbles underneath your feet.

Leaning against a nearby tree, Tess calls out, “You have ten minutes! And stay out of the waterfall! Last thing I need is for you to fucking drown.”

As she lights a cigarette, you can’t help but stare at her. Her features, though worn down after the hell she had been through trying to survive the post outbreak world, are beautiful. Big, dark green eyes, a perfect nose, and full, pouty lips. There’s never been a doubt in your mind that she and Joel have been involved with one another, and lately, the mere thought of anything between them made you uncomfortable.

It’s an odd sensation deep in your gut—jealousy?

But what were you jealous of? Her having had him first?

It shouldn’t matter to you, but it does. Insecurities you have never in your life felt before seep into your bones.

“Anyone ever tell you it’s fucking rude to stare?” Tess quips, raising an eyebrow at you. She shoves her lighter into the back pocket of her jeans.

Nervously, you sink lower into the water, nibbling the inside of your cheek. “Tess? Can I ask you something?”

“What could you possibly fucking want to ask me?”

You hesitate.

“How—how long have you known each other?”

“Who?” Tess plucks the cigarette from between her lips and flicks the ashes. “Me and Joel?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

She shrugs. “Don’t know. Six, seven years?”

“How did you two meet?”

“Long story that’s none of your fucking business.”

You ask your next question before you lose your nerve. “Have you two ever—?” Unsure of how to phrase it, you stop and clamp your mouth shut in instant regret.

“Have we ever what?” Tess studies your face, and she quickly realizes what you’re trying to ask her. “You’re seriously asking me if me and Joel have ever fucked?”

Biting your bottom lip, you glance down into the water at your feet. You honestly don’t expect her to answer, so when she does, you look back up at her in surprise.

“Yeah.” She takes a long drag from her cigarette, then adds, “Few times.”

Something unpleasant claws at your insides. “You two were together? Like a couple?”

“Something like that,” Tess mutters, flicking her ashes once more.

“What happened?”

She looks at you, pausing before answering, “You.”

Oh.

Before you can utter another word, Tess snaps, “Quit asking so many goddamn fucking questions and finish up washing. You’ve got eight minutes left.”

Not wanting to push your luck further than you already have, you do as she tells you in complete silence.

You lather up the soap in your hands, washing your hair first, and then your face and body, using your hands to scrub yourself as best as you can. Between the calming scent of the soap, the soothing sound of the waterfall, and the warm afternoon sun, you find yourself relaxing. You try to clear your mind, live in this peaceful moment which you very well may never get again, but your mind begins to wander.

And it wanders straight to Joel.

Closing your eyes, you can’t help but picture him here, standing behind you in the lake. You can almost feel his hands on you, long, thick fingers lathered with lavender soap, sliding down your body. His lips at your neck, he cups your breasts in his hands, rolling his thumbs over your hardened nipples until your head lulls, falling back onto his shoulder. Joel drags his hands further down, over your stomach, going lower and lower towards the place where you need them the most. “Yeah, baby?” he murmurs into your neck, dipping one of them between your legs until you are, quite literally, in the palm of his hand. “This where y’need me?”

Breathless, you respond, “It’s where I want you.”

Suddenly, your eyes snap open.

There is a wetness between your thighs, one that has nothing to do with the fact that you’re standing waist-deep in the middle of a lake. You shake those thoughts away and finish washing yourself.

“Time’s up,” Tess calls. She meets you on the bank with a dry rag. “Here.”

The rag doesn’t exactly cover much surface area, but you dry yourself off as best you can before tugging on your underwear and slipping on your dress. Just as you crouch down to slip your shoes on, she tosses her pack and it lands in front of you with a soft thud.

Confused, you glance up at her.

“There’s about a week’s worth of jerky in there. Longer, if you know how to ration,” Tess explains, calmly. “And a canteen for water. I also packed you a flashlight and a pocket knife. It’s not much, but—”

Frowning, you rise to your feet. “What are you talking about, Tess? What’s going on? Why are you giving me your pack?”

“Because I’m giving you a chance, kid.”

A feeling of dread pools in the pit of your stomach.

“A chance to what?”

“Run.”

Your heart stutters a beat. “Run?”

“He’ll come looking for you. You need to get as far away from here as possible. Run away, as far as you can, and don’t fucking look back.”

All you can do is stare at her in shocked silence.

“I can help you get a head start,” Tess offers, quietly. “I can show you which direction to go in and put you on a path leading to the closest state highway—”

“But what if I don’t want to run?”

Tess places her hands on her hips, and she exhales an incredulous laugh. “Jesus,” she breathes, shaking her head in pity. “He’s really got you fucking brainwashed, doesn’t he?”

You glare at her. “I am not brainwashed, Tess.”

“You’ve gotta be if you’re telling me you wanna go back to him.”

“Tess—”

She cuts you off. “He gave the order to raid your camp and kill your people,” she reminds you. “He fucking slit your father’s throat right in front of you, then took you as his prisoner. He made you his fucking sex slave.”

“He takes care of me! He feeds me, makes sure I have a bed to sleep in no matter where we are. He keeps me safe. He—he cares about me.” You will your voice not to tremble as you stand your ground. “No. I’m not running away, Tess. I want to go back.”

Tess sighs. “You’re really not gonna make this easy, are you?”

“Take me back,” you all but demand, your hands curled into the least menacing little fists she had ever seen in her life at your sides. “Take me back to the cabin—take me back to him, Tess. I mean it.”

Amused, she huffs through her nose. “Or else what?”

“You can’t make me run away, Tess.” As you take a step towards her, she reaches behind her and swiftly whips out her pistol from the waistband of her jeans. You halt, freezing in fear when she aims the barrel of the gun at your chest.

“Actually, I can,” she says, her finger hovering over the trigger. “So here’s how this is gonna go. I’m gonna walk away now. And if you even think about following me, or trying to find your way back to the group, you will die.” She tosses you a tiny, wry smile. “Believe it or not, I’m doing you a real big favor, kid. Problem is, he’s got you so fucked in the head that you can’t see it.”

“Tess, please,” you plead. “Don’t do this to me!”

She begins to back away. “Remember when you’d say that to him? How you’d beg him not to do those things to you every night? Beg him to let you go?”

“Please, just take me back to him!”

You start to follow her.

“You take one more fucking step and I’ll shoot you,” she threatens, her eyes darkening. “Don’t think I won’t.”

Tess keeps her pistol pointed at you until she slips into the trees and disappears, abandoning you in the middle of the forest.

He’s furious. Livid.

Joel paces back and forth on the porch.

“Where the fuck are they?”

The old, rotting wood that wraps all the way around the cabin creaks, and certain softer spots bend and buckle, threatening to give way beneath his heavy boots. Joel’s younger brother leans against the railing, which is just as fragile, an unlit cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth.

“Christ, Joel. Can you fuckin’ relax?” Tommy grumbles, fishing around in his back pocket for his lighter. “You’re gonna bring the whole damn cabin down if ya don’t cut that shit out.” He sparks a flame and lights the filtered end of the cigarette. He takes a long drag, and exhales the smoke through his nose. “You’re gettin’ worked up over nothin’, brother.”

“S’almost sundown, and they’re still not fuckin’ back.” Joel shakes his head. “Fuckin’ knew I shouldn’t have let Tess take her. Somethin’ happened, Tommy. I just know it.” He lifts his shirt and reaches for his pistol, pulling it from the waistband of his jeans. “M’gonna head to the creek myself to find ‘em. Ain’t gonna sit around on my goddamn hands and wait for it to get fuckin’ dark.”

“She’s with Tess. M’sure the girl’s fine—” Tommy stops, his eyes widening slightly. “Well, hell.”

“What?”

Tommy jerks his chin over Joel’s shoulder before taking another slow, casual drag of his cigarette. He savors the last few seconds of peace before shit inevitably hits the fan and his brother unleashes his wrath on anything, or anyone, in his path.

Joel whips around and his stomach sinks, his blood ice in his veins when he sees Tess approaching the cabin. Alone.

Both his mind and body go numb. It’s a jarring shock to his nervous system, and it takes him a minute or two to fully process the fact that you’re not with her.

“Joel,” Tess says his name carefully as he descends the porch steps and walks towards her. “I need you to take a breath, alright?”

“Where—where is she?” His voice breaks, his weakness momentarily slipping through the cracks.

Not that Tess didn’t already know you were Joel Miller’s weakness, his soft white underbelly, the only vulnerable part of his hardened self that could be penetrated—you would have been his downfall. As much as she’d like to say she did what she did solely for your own good, she also did it for his, and for the sake of the group as a whole.

It needed to be done.

He stands in front of her, a ticking time bomb about to go off.

Prepared to face whatever consequences of the choice she had made, Tess tucks her gun away and sighs. “You need to take a breath—”

Joel snatches her arm, his fingers digging into the flesh above her elbow. His emotions hit him all at once.

Fear, worry, anger. It’s the third that takes precedence, and before Tess can utter another word, Joel yanks her forward. She crashes against his chest so hard that it knocks the wind out of her. “Where the fuck is she?” He leans down, his nostrils flaring as he brings their faces the closest they have been in almost a year.

“Joel, take a fucking breath—”

“Where. Is. She.” His grip on her arm tightens with each word he bites out through his teeth. He’s vaguely aware the others have piled out of the cabin, gathering on the porch to watch the altercation.

“She ran,” Tess explains, calmly. She doesn’t falter, not even as his fingers sink deeper into her skin, promising her painful bruises which will take days to fade away. If he decided to let her live. “She ran away, Joel. I turned my back for one fucking second and she was gone. She even took my fucking pack. I tried going after her, but it was no use. She was too fast.”

Behind him, Tommy snorts. “She outran you?”

Her eyes momentarily flicker to him. “Her knees are a lot younger than mine,” she replies, flatly.

“Which direction did she go in?” Joel demands. When Tess doesn’t immediately respond, he shouts, “Which fucking direction!”

Tess manages to snatch her arm out of his grasp. She glowers at him, hissing, “What the hell does it matter which direction she went? You won’t fucking find her.”

His eyes meet hers, and he sees it. Feels it.

She’s lying to him.

“Tess.” Joel’s voice drops dangerously low. He studies her face, his brows creasing with suspicion. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do shit, Joel. She fucking ran away.”

Without warning, Joel takes her by her throat. His other hand brings his pistol to her head, shoving the barrel of it against her temple. His nose touches hers. “Now, tell me why I have the feelin’ you’re not tellin’ me the whole truth?”

Tess lifts her chin. She searches his eyes, a sharp ache shooting through her. After everything, all the hell they had been through together—he would end her life, put a bullet in her because of you? Did she mean that little to him?

Or maybe she’d never meant anything to him at all?

She’s not sure which stings more.

“Because you’ve fucking deluded yourself into thinking that she willingly wants anything to do with you,” Tess finally answers. “That’s why.”

He ignores the burn of her scorching words.

“Where the fuck is she, Tess?”

“If she’s smart, she’s far away from here by now,” she hisses. “I did everyone a fucking favor, Joel. That girl is just another fucking mouth to feed. And what if you get her pregnant? That’ll be another one. Not to mention, a crying baby could draw unwanted attention and get us all killed. Ever thought about that? She’s not an asset to the group, she’s a fucking liability. Besides, I think I can speak for everyone when I say we’re all fucking tired of hearing you ra—”

Joel digs the barrel harder into her temple, his finger hovering over the trigger. “Listen to me. You’ve got ten seconds to tell me where she is, y’understand me?”

“Or what? You’ll blow my brains out?” Foolishly, Tess chooses to call his bluff despite not knowing for certain whether or not he’ll actually pull the trigger. “Go ahead, then. Kill me, Joel.”

His finger twitches over the trigger, but he doesn’t pull it. He can’t fucking pull it. Not on her. Not on Tess.

Still in his hands, she sags slightly in relief.

Swallowing harshly, Joel Miller lowers his gun and does something she’s never seen him do before. He begs.

“Tess, tell me where she is,” he whispers. His pleading is subtle, and only she can hear it. “Please—just fuckin’ tell me where my girl is.”

Tess stands her ground and says nothing.

Releasing her, Joel shoves her aside and with nothing but his gun in his hand, he sets off to find you.

“Ow, fuck!”

You gasp, quickly lifting your bare foot off the ground.

You’d stepped on something sharp—a stick, or maybe a rock?

In a desperate attempt to try and keep up with Tess’ tracks, you had stupidly left behind your shoes back at the waterfall. But the mere seconds you had spared by not stopping to put your shoes on hadn’t given you the advantage you thought it would. She had moved much too fast, and within minutes, you’d become helplessly, hopelessly lost. Every tree and every bush, they all look exactly the same, and for all you know, you’ve probably been going around in fucking circles for the past couple of hours in your search for her footprints in the dirt.

Sagging against the trunk of a nearby tree, you take a minute to try and catch your breath, to give your poor little feet a break from hiking over fallen branches and jagged stones.

Your head falls back, eyes gazing through the canopy of trees. Dusk has settled in, and nightfall is on its heels. It was foolish of you to leave behind your shoes, but even more so to leave behind the pack she had given you—in the pack were all the things meant to help you survive. Knife, flashlight, food.

Sure, you can survive a night out here in the wilderness without any of those things—but then what? Come dawn, what do you do? Where do you go? Do you just stumble around in the woods and hope for the best? Pray you’ll make it onto a highway with signs that will point you to a quarantine zone?

Hell, maybe you’re overestimating yourself. Maybe you wouldn’t survive long enough to worry about your next move. Howls in the distance remind you there’s wildlife out here, dangerous predators that come out after dark in search of their next meal. Or what about infected? It wasn’t unheard of for them to veer off the highway and lose themselves in the trees.

You recall your first few weeks in Joel Miller’s hands.

Escaping them was all you could ever think about, even though the chances of you surviving alone were slim to none, just like they are now. Never having been on your own, death would have been inevitable—but back then, in your darkest moments in captivity, you wished for it. You’d welcomed the idea of starving, freezing, or being torn apart limb from limb by an entire hoard of clickers. At least then, you’d die with your freedom.

Almost a year later, that wish has been granted.

You’re free.

You may very well die, but you would die free.

Closing your eyes, you think about Joel. His arms, that once held you down—held you still—as he did all those things to you without your consent, are arms your heart yearns to have wrapped around you, holding you close.

“Jesus,” you grit, a tear rolling down your cheek.

Maybe Tess had been right. Maybe he really does have you fucked in the head.

Joel was a monster. He had taken everything from you, including your innocence. He’d defiled you in ways you hadn’t known were possible. He was a terrible, terrible man.

A terrible, terrible man who kept you fed.

A terrible, terrible man who kept you warm.

A terrible, terrible man who kept you safe.

Another tear slides down the side of your face. What is fucking wrong with you?

You don’t know. But what you do know is, the thought of never seeing Joel again is somehow more terrifying to you than the thought of dying even the most brutal of deaths.

A loud rustling sound brings your train of thought to an immediate, sudden halt, and your eyes wrench open.

It’s darker now, but you manage to catch a movement in the shrubs, only mere feet in front of you. Panic flares in your chest, it rattles you to your very core, and even though every nerve in your body is urging you to move, you freeze, your back flush against the tree trunk. Your fingernails dig painfully into the bark as you watch the shrubs part down the middle, and a tall, hulking figure emerges with a heavy grunt.

At first, you think it’s just a figment of your imagination showing you what you wanted to see—a hallucination. Blinking furiously, you lightly shake your head, and then take another look at him. Your breath hitches when you realize it’s Joel.

He stares at you in the same manner, as if he’s trying to figure out if you’re real, or if his mind is playing a cruel, cruel trick on him. Feet cemented to the forest floor, he watches you take a small, tentative step towards him.

Once adamant that you’d never look him in the eye, you find your gaze locking directly with his as you carefully take another step closer. Then another, and another.

“Joel?” It’s the first time you’ve ever uttered his name.

He seems as taken aback hearing it as you are saying it.

“Joel.” It rolls off your tongue smoother, and with more ease the second time around.

It sparks a flame somewhere deep, deep inside of him, a fire that burns differently than those ignited by carnal desires.

No, this is something else entirely, and you feel it too.

“Baby?” he whispers hoarsely. “S’that really you?”

“Joel!” you cry, hurling yourself into his arms.

Joel’s gun falls from his hand and he curls them around you. Burying his nose into your hair, he inhales deeply. The scent of you, the feel of you—you’re fucking real.

Shuddering with sobs of relief, your arms wrap around his waist, and you cling to him as if you’re clinging onto dear, precious life itself.

“Hush now, s’alright,” Joel soothes, cradling the back of your head in one hand, while the rubs soft, calming circles into your back. “I’ve got you, honey. M’here.”

“I swear I didn’t want to run away,” you explain through your tears. “I begged her to take me back to you, Joel, I really did! But she left me out here—she said she would shoot me if I tried following her back. Please, you have to believe me, you just have to believe me!”

He squeezes you harder against his chest. “I do, baby. I do believe you,” he assures you. Pulling away, he takes a step backward and takes your face between his palms, peering at you in concern. “Y’hurt, sweetheart?”

“No,” you hiccup, curling your hands around his wrists. Your lower lip trembles. “I—I thought I’d never see you again. I was scared I wouldn’t,” you admit, softly.

Joel’s thumb wipes away a fresh tear. “M’here now,” he murmurs. “You’re with me, baby. You’re safe, alright?” As a late evening breeze passes through, he lets you go and shrugs out of his brown jacket. He goes to drape it around your shoulders, but you snatch it right out of his hands, then toss it aside.

Something in you snaps. You take fistfuls of his flannel, pulling him down towards you to do yet something else that takes you both by surprise—you initiate a kiss. You lean forward and press your lips to his, a little swipe of your tongue across his bottom lip as you clutch tighter at his shirt, holding him in place. Groaning, Joel opens his mouth more, his tongue brushing yours.

Liquid heat pools in your belly, and before you realize it, you’ve grown frantic, kissing him with fervor. Releasing his shirt, you slide your hands down his chest, over his stomach, lower and lower until you find his belt buckle. Desperate, you clumsily fumble with it, and that’s when Joel tears away from you, his breath hitching.

You’re begging before he can even say a word. “Please. I need you—I want you. Right now.”

You cup him through his jeans, and he exhales sharply.

“Fuck.” Without giving it a second thought, his hands reach for the straps of your dress, pushing them off of your shoulders. He roughly tugs at the material, letting it slip down your body until it falls around your feet. In a tangle of limbs and tongues, you both sink to the forest floor. Your hands brush his buckle, and he catches your wrists. “Not yet, baby girl. M’still in charge, alright?”

Sheepishly, you nod.

“Say it.” His command is firm, but somehow still gentle.

“You’re—you’re in charge.”

“Good girl.” Joel guides you onto your back. He’s over you in a second, swelling your lips with a hard, hungry kiss that leaves you dizzy and breathless. He moves his mouth, teeth scraping over your cheek and jaw, down to your neck where he nips at the tender, delicate flesh over your pulse point. Then, he bites his way over your collarbone and to your shoulder. “Bet she’s already wet for me,” he mumbles into your skin. “Ain’t she, baby?”

Pushing himself back onto his knees, he slides a finger over your clothed cunt, eliciting a small gasp from you. Hooking his fingers under the elastic waistband of your cotton underwear, he yanks the fabric down your legs. It catches on your foot, your wetness smearing against the inside of your ankle.

You’re drenched.

“C’mere,” Joel grunts, sliding his hands under your ass and pulling your hips over his thighs. He leans over you once more, your bare, throbbing cunt rubbing against the crotch of his jeans. He tuts lightly into your neck as you buck against him. “Such a fuckin’ needy little girl.”

Desperate, you try rolling your hips into his. “Joel.”

“Kinda like it when y’say my name.” He starts making his way down the length of your body. “Think I’ll like it even better when you’re screamin’ it. Won’t I, baby?”

Your stomach tightens as he nibbles his way down your neck again, teeth scraping over your clavicle and down your chest to your heaving tits. Taking one in his hand, the other goes into his mouth—his tongue is scorching hot over your nipple. He licks the pebbled flesh, sucks it and bites it while he rolls the other peak in between his thumb and index finger. “Oh fuck,” you gasp.

Releasing your breast with a wet pop, Joel sinks further down your body. He plants hot, open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your tummy, leaving behind a trail of fire in their wake. He stops over your mound and hovers for a fraction of a second before pressing his nose into the silky soft curls there. Inhaling deeply, Joel picks up the subtle, herbal scent of the lavender soap you had washed yourself with. “Fuck, y’smell so fuckin’ good.”

He pushes your thighs open, pinning one to the ground with his hand while the other goes over his shoulder. Your foot slides down his back, toes curling despite the fact that he hasn’t even reached the spot where you’re aching to have him most. Heart thundering, your blood rushes, roaring in your ears.

Joel turns his head, his lips brushing your inner thigh in another kiss. “S’this where y’want me, honey?” he asks you. Goosebumps erupt over every inch of your skin as he draws closer, his breath like steam on your core. He glances up at you, his cock twitching against his zipper at the sight of you laying naked before him on the floor of the forest. Willing. Wanting. “Hm? Right here?”

“Yes,” you breathe. “Please, Joel.”

Thankfully, you only have to ask him once, and then his face is buried between your legs, and he is giving you what you want.

“Fuck!” you cry out. Back arching, your head tilts back until the crown of it meets the ground, leaves and twigs finding their way into your clean hair.

Joel’s tongue flattens over your cunt in a broad stroke, then dips between your folds, collecting your slick with a harsh groan, one that sends a bone-rattling vibration throughout your entire body, from head to curled toes. His mouth opens wider—a starving, greedy man trying to eat you whole. Sliding his tongue over your clit, Joel seals his lips around it, sucking the sensitive bundle of nerves until it swells in his mouth.

High-pitched little cries and whines spill from your lips. Your hands shoot down, fingers tangling themselves in his dark, graying curls, eliciting a grunt from him when you tug at his roots. “Joel, fuck,” you choke, your nails scraping against his scalp. He slurps and swallows your wetness, the sounds drowning out those of the night—the chirping of crickets, the croaking of frogs, the soft hooting of owls are washed away until all you can hear is him devouring your pussy.

Your body starts to tremble, and you know you’re close. Joel does, too. He feels your thighs twitch, threatening to close around his head, but he wrenches them further apart with a muffled but firm, “No.” He drapes his arm over your pelvis, his large hand splayed on your belly.

Relentless, he sucks your clit, gliding his tongue over it, again and again until the muscles in your lower tummy tighten and you burst at the seams, unraveling into his mouth. Warm slick gushes out of you, a sweet mess he licks clean. You choke back sobs of pleasure, your body tensing, vision blurring with every stroke of his tongue, each scrape of his teeth over your clit.

Joel lifts himself onto his knees with a grunt and gazes down at you—his good girl, sweet and pliant and ready to be fucked full of his cock. His hands slide his belt out of its brass buckle, eyes still trained on you as he pops the button of his jeans and yanks down his zipper.

Your mind is fuzzy, still syrupy and dripping—it doesn’t fully register what he’s doing, not until he climbs back over you and you his hard cock brushes your thigh, hot velvet that sears the inside of your leg. Precum smears your flesh.

“Y’feel that? Feel what you fuckin’ do to me?”

“Joel.” Hands shaking, you reach for the buttons of his shirt, desperate to feel more of his skin on yours. You whine when he catches both of your wrists in one hand, pinning them above your head. “Your clothes—”

“Stay on.” Ducking his head, he nips at your pulse point and mumbles, “Tell me what y’want, pretty girl.”

Joel shifts over you, his cock now resting on your lower belly, thick and heavy and leaking.

You squirm under him, hips coming off the ground, that hollow thing inside of you begging to be filled.

“Use your words, sweetheart. Tell me what y’want.”

“You, Joel—I want you. Please, please, please—”

He hushes you.

“I’ve you, baby. I’ve got you,” Joel promises. He wraps his other hand around himself, dragging the head of his cock along the seam of your puffy folds, up and down—he elicits a ragged little gasp from you when he grazes your clit and his fingers tighten around your wrists. He coats himself in your slippery slick until he’s glistening with it, and then he gives a slow roll of his hips, working himself into you.

Your mouth falls open. No words come out, no pleas for more—only jerky breaths, pathetic little pants for air as you take it.

Joel’s cock throbs, pulses like a heartbeat as your cunt welcomes him home. He presses his forehead to yours. “She’s always so fuckin’ sweet to me.” His voice is low, rough gravel. His eyes meet yours in the dark blue glow of the forest, and he savors the last moments of seeing your pretty face before the last traces of dusk are gone. Brushing his lips to the corner of your mouth, he feeds you his cock inch by inch, murmuring, “That’s it, honey. Good fuckin’ girl.”

You melt around him at his praise.

Releasing your wrists, he moves his hand, placing it on the crown of your head. “Ain’t ever lettin’ you out of my sight again,” he swears. “Alright? Never gonna be apart from me again, baby girl. Never. Y’understand me?” He curls his other hand firmly around your jaw, his fingers sticky with you and him. “Do you understand me?”

“Never,” you repeat, softly.

Joel kisses you, deep and slow, almost sweet. Tender. He breaks away, his lips hovering right over yours as he pushes his hips forward, bottoming out inside you.

Moaning, your hands grasp at his shoulders. Your legs widen further to accommodate the breadth of his hips.

“There y’go.” Joel presses deep within, until your belly feels hot and full. “That’s it, baby. Good girl,” he coos, drawing his hips back, then rolling them right back into you. He takes one of your ankles and tosses it over his shoulder, giving himself a better angle to fuck into you.

A loud cry tears from the back of your throat. “Joel!”

He grins in the darkness. He knew he’d like hearing you scream his name.

Joel’s hand settles on your leg that’s over his shoulder, your thigh already shaking. “Y’gonna be a real good girl n’ give me another one?”

You try to answer him, you really do, but your mind falls further and further away.

His fingertips sink into your thigh. He strokes in and out of you, never retreating more than inches at a time so he keeps you full. Stuffed. “Christ. Takin’ it so fuckin’ well,” he croons, moving your leg off of his shoulder so they are both wrapped around his waist. Hunching over you, he bears down hard, using most of his weight. He almost chuckles at the little oof that puffs out of you.

Rocks and twigs dig painfully into your back, but all you can do is feel him. How close he is.

You’re right there with him.

“Joel—fuck, I’m gonna co—”

You’re cut off by your own sharp gasp.

“That’s it. C’mon, honey.” Joel slips his hand between your thighs, his fingers firmly rubbing your clit. “C’mon, baby. Be a good girl and come on my cock—”

It rips through you like an electric current, a shockwave that has you clawing at the dirt. You come crying Joel’s name, crumbling into a whimpering, quivering mess.

Within seconds, he’s swept away by the same tide.

“Baby,” he groans, dropping his head into the hollow of your neck. He goes still and lets your tight cunt clench at him, gripping his cock as it throbs, pulses, empties into you. After a minute, he brushes a kiss to your neck before mumbling, “My sweet girl.”

Joel makes no move to pull out of you. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, your soiled fingers toy with the soft curls at the nape of his neck, shattered breaths slowing and piecing back together.

You gaze up through the trees at the night sky, feeling the safest you’ve ever been with the earth at your back and your whole world on top of you, his cock buried in your cunt.

Tess is right. Joel Miller really does have you fucked in the head.

You’re certain of it when you make the realization with a smile.

divider credit to @/saradika 🖤

for fic notifications please follow @joelsgreysupdates!

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

stranded (one-shot)

summary: your car breaks down on the side of the road and a stranger decides to help you out... and you have no choice but to accept his help.

pairing: no outbreak/dark!joel miller x fem!reader content warnings: EXPLICIT CONTENT (18+ ONLY MDNI), DUBCON - please read at own risk / heed warnings!, stockholm syndrome, unprotected p in v, rough sex, manhandling, oral sex (m receiving), orgasm denial, begging, creampie, joel ties you up, spanking, light choking, fingering, age gap (reader is in 30s, joel is in 50s), no use of y/n. word count: 5.1k a/n: and here's yet another story where i'm stepping out of my comfort zone. i've always wanted to write dark!joel, but felt like i couldn't do it justice... but then ali's (@pedgito) hosting a writing challenge (spring fever) and i figured... why not? i chose backwoods horror #1 STRANDED/SIDE OF THE ROAD. please heed the warnings, y'all. this is gonna be very dark and filthy, so if you're not into that sort of thing, that's ok!

You had no idea what you were thinking—taking a solo cross country road trip after quitting your job. Maybe you thought that you’d find yourself, find some kind of purpose that was lacking in your life, but instead, you’re stranded on the side of the road. Gas empty, no cell service, and phone already on its last battery. 

This is where you’re going to die—you’re sure of it. It’s how all horror movies start and despite the sun still high in the sky, you’re increasingly getting worried about what could happen when night falls. You scream at the top of your lungs, the sound echoing through the vast empty void. 

God, no one would hear you scream for help if you were in real danger and that thought simply frightens you. Your friends had all but praised you for this trip—this journey to self-discovery and reflection. Your parents, on the other hand, had already been concerned when you said you would be alone on this trip. A woman, traveling the world by herself? Well, that’s just asking for trouble, they said. 

And now you understand their concern. You understand their fear about you traveling all alone because of where you are now—in the middle of fucking nowhere. You should have refilled your gas when you had the chance, should have charged your phone while you were driving. Should have, should have, should have. 

10%—your phone reads. You try to send a text to your parents, to send them your location, but every attempted text just comes back with the message in red text and an exclamation point next to it: NOT DELIVERED! You raise your phone in the sky, hoping that maybe you’ll get one bar of service, but no luck. 

The trip had been successful, up until this point. You were in Texas, that you were sure of. But where in Texas? You had no fucking clue. 

You lean against the side of your car—the sun glaring down at you and you can feel a thin sheet of sweat on the side of your neck. Why did you think this was even a good idea? Traveling cross country without a plan—how fucking naive. 

Your battery drains fast and your phone finally shuts off. You let out a quiet sigh of frustration and open the passenger door of your car to toss your useless phone inside. Just as you’re about to climb in, you hear a faint noise of a car engine. Suddenly, you feel hopeful—maybe you won’t die here after all.

The sudden excitement that you feel overpowers the possibility that what you’re doing is absolutely dangerous. You’re waving your arms in the air, trying to track down the person in the car who’s making their way in your direction. It’s possible that this person whose truck is slowing down as it nears you could very well be a serial killer, but what choice did you have? 

The truck pulls up behind your car and quickly, you run over to your savior. Your hero. 

“Hi. My car’s dead, my phone’s dead, and I just need a lift to the next gas station... Or any place where I can use a phone to give someone a call,” you blurt out, breathing heavily. 

He turns his head slightly in your direction—eyes gazing at your face, then down to your shoulders and the rest of your body that he can see from the driver’s side. You’re leaning against the opened window of the passenger side of the truck. You don’t belong here, he knows that for sure. 

“Next gas station is in the next town over,” he finally answers. 

“Could you give me a lift there? I can pay you. Let me just grab my things and—”

“No need,” he interrupts, voice low. “I’m headin’ in that direction anyway. Get in.”

You grin and Joel’s jaw ticks briefly. God, you’re beautiful and it’s truly been a long time since he’s been with—

“Promise you won’t kill me?” you laugh, climbing into his truck and interrupting his thoughts. 

Joel finally takes in the rest of your frame and can immediately feel his length stirring beneath his dark jeans. His hands grip the steering wheel to ease some pressure, but you’re still talking and you’re laughing and it shoots straight to the center of his pants. It must be his lucky day. 

“If I were to kill you, I don’t think I’d be confessing that, darlin’,” he answers—the corners of his lips lift slightly. Oh, you had no idea what you just got into by climbing into his truck. 

“Right,” you reply. “That’s a good point.” You look at him—taking note of his damp hair that’s slicked away from his face, his broad frame, salt and pepper patchy beard. You realize that he must be in his fifties, but you can’t help but notice how handsome he is. That’s a good sign, you think. He won’t hurt you. He’s going to drop you off in the next town and hopefully, you’ll be able to head back home in the morning. 

“I’m guessing you live around here?” you ask, feeling the truck move back onto the main street. You glance out the window, watching your car become smaller and smaller as Joel drives further away from it. 

“Yeah,” he answers. “Guessin’ you ain’t from around here.”

“That obvious?” 

He just nods. Joel needs to focus on the road ahead of him. He has to make it seem like he’s not a threat, like he’s not just about to take you directly to his home. His secluded home. 

You introduce yourself formally, telling him your name and turning your body to face him. “What’s your name?”

“Joel.”

“You’re a man of few words, aren’t you?” you smile in his direction and Joel glances at you from the corner of his eyes. 

“Not much to say.”

“Well, how long is the drive to the next town? If you don’t have music, I’m gonna end up talking. I don’t usually like it when it’s too quiet on a drive and—”

“It’s about fifteen minutes,” he interrupts. “Radio is busted.” 

“So talking it is then.”

“No use in talkin’ if we ain’t gonna be seein’ each other after this.” 

“I guess you’re right,” you answer with a sigh. You try to remain quiet, fidgeting with your hands as you stare out the window. Every few seconds or so, you glance over at him and you can’t fully read his expression. He’s so stoic that there’s a part of you that feels like an inconvenience to him. Maybe he should have just kept on driving. 

“How long were you stranded for?” Joel asks. 

“About a couple of hours. Couldn’t get reception to call someone.”

“Yeah, phones don’t work out here.” Joel shrugs. “You eat anythin’ yet?” 

You shake your head. “Skipped breakfast this morning to get on the road.”

“My place is just a couple of minutes away,” Joel says. “I need to grab a few things. Got some food and water for you,” he offers. 

You smile and reach out to rest a hand on his forearm. It’s an innocent gesture, but it makes Joel shift in the driver’s seat. Your touch is so soft, so gentle and he flexes his arm underneath your fingertips. “You’re sweet, Joel. That sounds great. I am starving.” 

Joel bites back a smirk. He’s got you right where he wants you. 

Your hand drops from his arm and there’s a subtle frown that settles on his lips before he pulls off the main road. Within minutes, Joel pulls up to his secluded home. When he shuts off the car, he looks over at you and you’re still smiling. 

“This is a cute place, Joel,” you tell him, climbing out of the truck. 

He follows you and rounds the truck until he’s standing behind you. His fingers itch to reach out to touch you—especially when you raise your arms over your head to stretch, the ends of your shirt lifting just above the waistband of your denim shorts. He wants to touch every inch of you and he lets out a quiet grunt when you accidentally fall back against him. 

“Sorry,” you say, looking over at him from over your shoulder. 

“S’fine,” Joel mumbles and then walks past you to walk towards his front door. He unlocks it and opens it for you, watching you step across the threshold as you look around with curiosity. 

“It’s very dark in here,” you point out, walking further into his home. You see a light switch on the wall and flip it on, illuminating his entire home. Surprisingly, Joel’s large hand encompasses your wrist in a tight grip. You let out a quiet gasp and turn around to look up at him—eyes wide, lips slightly parted. 

“You always like to make yourself comfortable in a stranger’s home?” he asks with a threatening tone. 

“S–sorry,” you whisper, trying to pull your wrist away from his grip but he doesn’t budge. His grip just tightens. “Joel, you’re hurting me.”

“Pretty little thing,” he mumbles, stepping closer to you. “It’s like you were waitin’ f’me out there,” Joel says quietly. 

“Joel—”

“Shh.” Joel brings a finger up to your lips and his eyes drift down, moving his thumb to brush against you. “Shh, baby.” 

“I think I want to leave now,” you answer. “I think I just want to head into town and—”

“Oh darlin’,” he grins. “Ain’t no town for at least another fifty or some miles.” 

“B–But you said—”

“Guilty,” Joel interrupts, turning you so that your back presses against the wall. He cages you in, hand still gripping your wrist as the other comes up to rest gently over your throat. “M’sorry I lied to ya.” 

Your eyes widen in horror, the realization finally hitting you like a freight train. You had spent most of the drive admiring him—his broad frame, his quiet and mysterious nature, his large hands that gripped the steering wheel, his husky southern accent—that you ignored the feeling in the pit of your stomach. 

This was a bad idea. 

Getting into his truck was a bad fucking idea. 

“I just want to go home,” you whisper. “Please just let me go home and—”

“Shh,” he repeats. Joel steps closer to you, his nose brushing against your own. “Gonna keep you here all to myself. Been a while since I had a little plaything like yourself.” 

You shake your head. “Please, I’ll give you all the money I have back in my car.”

“Don’t want your money. Want you.” 

“Joel—”

“Love the way my name comes out of your mouth, darlin’. Say it again.”

You shake your head, closing your mouth shut. You know you’re in danger, but you’re not sure why you feel a familiar wetness pool between your legs. Your body is responding to him—to this stranger… this handsome fucking stranger who can easily strangle you if he wanted to. 

“Say. It. Again,” he repeats.

“Joel,” you whisper. 

“Good girl,” Joel grins proudly. He drops his hand from your throat and releases his grip around your wrist. He stares into your eyes, searching for any hesitation or any inclination that you’re going to run and leave. He sees your eyes flicker to the front door and he narrows his eyes—his large hand once more coming up to splay against your throat. Joel applies just a bit of pressure and he watches your eyes go wide again. “Wouldn’t think about it, if I were you.” 

You beg with your eyes—apologetic and pleading for him to just let you go. “I’ll be good,” you mumble against his grip. “I promise. I–I’ll be good.”

“We’re gonna have a lot of fun,” Joel nods, releasing his grip around your throat. “And I bet if I were to reach between your legs, I’d feel just how fuckin’ wet you are f’me, won’t I?”

You shake your head in defiance. “N–No…” 

Joel lets out a chuckle. “Mmm, that so?” He tugs on the waistband of your denim shorts and pulls you to him. He’s so rough and there’s an excitement that courses through your veins. He tugs down your shorts and panties down your legs, looking down at your white lacy thong with a grin. He can see a blotch of wetness and brings it to his nose, inhaling deeply as he lets out a contented sigh. “I bet you taste fuckin’ good too,” he whispers. 

You suddenly feel self-conscious and your hands immediately move to try and tug down the end of your shirt to cover your lower half. Joel just shakes his head and grabs your wrists to pin them above your head against the wall. You squirm against his grip and he kicks your legs apart, stepping in front of you to keep them spread open. His free hand comes down and immediately runs the pads of his fingers across the length of your sex—your body betrays you because you let out a quiet whimper as you arch your back against his touch. 

“Wet,” he points out. “You like this, don’t you?” 

You shake your head. 

“Liar,” he chuckles. Joel wastes no time in sliding two of his thick fingers past your folds—your warm, tight, and so fucking wet that a large grin spreads across his lips. 

You squirm against him at the sudden and rough intrusion, eyes gazing up at him. His eyes are dark, filled with lust and more than likely sinister thoughts, but you can’t help but notice his grin and the cute fucking dimple that appears on his cheek. You shouldn’t like this, but your body is yearning for more. Yearning for him. 

Joel’s thick fingers plunge into you repeatedly—his other hand gripping your wrists so tight above your head that you’re sure there’s going to be bruises. You shut your eyes tightly, keeping your lips in a thin line and forcing yourself to stay quiet because you know that if you make a sound, it’s only going to fuel him further. 

His eyes stare deeply at you and you’re so wet that Joel’s fingers pump into you with ease. He can see you struggling against his grip and he leans closer, lips near your ear as he whispers huskily. “Lemme hear you, baby.” 

You shake your head in defiance, pulling your lower lip between your teeth. You suck in a breath when his thumb brushes against your clit and a quiet—almost inaudible—moan escapes your lips. 

“Ah, darlin’,” Joel grins, gently nipping at your earlobe. His grip around your wrists loosen just slightly and he’s distracted, yearning to pull more sounds out of you and it gives you just the right moment to push him away. You miss his fingers immediately, a loud squelch echoing the walls when his fingers slip out of you. 

With as much strength as you can muster, you shove him so hard that he stumbles backwards with a grunt. You look around haphazardly, eyes wide, heart beating out of your chest. You’re very well aware that your lower half is bare, but you think maybe you can make a run for it—you just need to grab his keys, run out the door into his truck and drive away. 

You glance over your shoulder and Joel chuckles. He fucking laughs at your poor attempt at running away because he takes three strides in your direction and takes a fistful of your hair. You let out a loud yelp and he’s already quick to bend you over the back of his couch—the edge of it digging into your lower abdomen.

You’re already trying to squirm away, but his grip in your hair tightens and pain rushes through you. You’re about to beg him to stop, to beg him to let you go, but you feel his free hand connect with your backside. The slap reverberates through your entire being and the sound of his hand coming in contact with your ass echoes through his quiet home. 

“You just got here, baby,” he growls—he doesn’t let up, your skin already reddening with each spank. “You can’t leave me yet.”

“I–I–” you mumble and your body reacts automatically, pushing back into him. “Please!” 

“M’gonna have to tie you up, I think,” Joel grins. “Just to make sure you don’t pull that shit again.”

Your ass is beginning to sting and you try to scramble away, but Joel pulls you upright against him. His large hands move to your hips, fingertips digging into you as he uses your body to rub his bulge against you. 

“I think you’re gonna feel real good around me,” he whispers into your hair, hand sliding over your abdomen and down between your legs. “You’re actin’ like you ain’t enjoyin’ this, but you’re so fuckin’ wet f’me.” 

He begins to circle your clit with the pads of his fingers and it causes your back to arch against him, hands darting out to rest on the edge of the couch. A loud moan finally escapes your lips and Joel lets out a low growl at the sound—he wants to hear more of it, craves more of it. 

“From the way you’re squirmin’,” he continues, “Makes me wonder if you’ve been neglected.” 

You shake your head—lying.  

“Oh? Got a boyfriend back home, hm?” 

You shake your head again.

“Poor little thing,” Joel mumbles, head dipping down to the side of your neck as he presses his soft lips against you. It causes a shiver to run through you—his soft lips and his rough beard. “Don’t worry, baby. I’m here now. I’ll take care of ya.”

You’re an absolute mess by the time Joel’s done with you. You’re lying on his mattress, hands bound by rope and attached to the headboard. You’re completely bare for him and he’s brought you to the edge of orgasm too many times to count that you’re practically begging for some release. 

His hands are surprisingly gentle when he settles himself back between your legs and it causes you to flinch. His fingertips brush against your hardened nipples, dark bruises already forming around it from his love bites—he liked to call it. 

“You’re soakin’ my sheets, honey,” he grins. 

“Then let me fucking come!” you retaliate with a huff. Your eyes go wide the minute it leaves your mouth and you’re already trying to scramble away from him, despite being all tied up. 

Joel laughs again. “You’re cute when you’re angry, baby… but let’s not forget who’s in charge here.” 

He finally pulls the ends of his shirt over his head and you lift your own head off the pillow to get a good look at him. There’s no way this fucking man is in his fifties—you shake your head of the thoughts that begin to fill your mind. He has you here held captive and you’re sure that he’s going to kill you once he’s gotten what he needed. 

But you can’t help it. 

Joel’s fucking gorgeous. 

Is this what Stockholm syndrome is? Attracted to your captor? Whatever the fuck it is, you’re squirming impatiently. There’s a dull throb between your legs, an ache, a need for him to give you what you need. 

And he smiles. The same fucking dimple that appeared earlier that day is now in full display because Joel knows he’s got you right where he wants you. 

“Gonna be a good girl f’me? No more fightin’ back?” Joel begins, reaching down to tug his boxers down his strong legs. Once the fabric is gone from his body, your eyes widen once more at the sheer size of him. Girthy. Leaking at the tip. You’re not sure if it’d fit inside of you and Joel notices a flicker of uncertainty flash across your features. “We’ll make it fit, baby. Don’t you worry.”

You whimper quietly in response, feeling him brush his rounded tip against your opening. You try to wiggle your hips down, yearning for more, but he just pulls back and shakes his head. 

“Please,” you plead. You bat your eyes at him, gazing at him under the rim of your eyelashes. It’s a poor attempt at begging, at looking innocent because you look anything but that. 

Joel just lets a small smile line his lips before he pulls away and mounts your upper half. You clear your throat—the size of him this close almost threatening. 

“Don’t be gettin’ shy on me now,” he growls lowly. “Been pleasuring you for a while now, so it’s only fair that you return the favor.” 

“I–I haven’t come yet. Please just let me come and I’ll do anything—”

Joel clicks his tongue and runs the tip of his manhood across your mouth, smirking at the sight of his precome now on your lips. “You ain’t the one in charge here.” He pushes his tip past your lips and lets out a low groan. One hand moves to grip the headboard ahead of him as his other hand keeps a steady grip around the base of his length. “Open wider f’me,” he whispers. 

You have no choice but to obey—parting your lips wider and feeling more of his manhood slide into your mouth. You can feel the corners of your mouth stretch due to his girth. It isn’t long before he pushes further into your mouth, feeling him hit the back of your throat and you gag almost instantly. Tears sting your eyes and he only gives you a few seconds to breathe before he pushes back into you. 

You squeeze your legs together, trying to alleviate some pressure that has been building and building between your legs and the pit of your stomach. You glance up in his direction only to see Joel with his head tilted back, chest and neck exposed, and his eyes completely shut. A quiet groan escapes his lips as he begins to move his hips forward and backward—you swirl your tongue around him, hollow your cheeks and it causes him to moan loudly. 

And fuck, it’s a beautiful sound to come out of him. 

He’s moaning. He’s deep in his own pleasure. 

And it’s all because of you. 

By the time he pulls out of your mouth, Joel’s eyes snap open to look down at you. Lips swollen, tears streaking down the corner of your eyes. You’re so distracted by your desire to come that you don’t realize what could possibly happen once he’s done with you. 

You’re going to die. 

Joel is going to fucking kill you. 

And this cross country road trip you had originally planned was a stupid fucking idea. 

Joel sees a look of fear flash across your features and it only makes him smile, makes his cock jerk at the sight of you. He moves down your body and settles himself between your legs again. 

“Gonna fill you up now,” Joel nods. “And you’re gonna lie there and take it like a good girl.” 

You nod. 

His hand comes up to grip your chin roughly, staring into your eyes. “Say it.” 

“I–I’ll be good. I’ll take it like a good girl and—”

Without warning, Joel pushes fully into you in one stroke. You feel your body jerk upwards at the sudden intrusion and you’re lucky that you’re so wet because while he slides in so easily, you can’t help but feel the painful stretch to give way to his size. Your hands try to wiggle out of the bondage, but the rope just digs further into your skin—it’s like he expertly tied you in a way that the more you struggle, the tighter it gets. 

Joel’s hand moves from your chin to cup your breast, thumb brushing against your nipple as he remains still for a moment. “Feel so good,” he whispers, head dipping lower to brush his nose against yours. He can hear you panting heavily, lips parted slightly. “Like you were made f’me.” 

Then, Joel pulls out to his tip only to slam himself back into you. He repeats this movement multiple times and your moans—the ones that you’ve tried so desperately to hold back—finally escape your lips and mix in with the sounds of his skin slapping against yours. 

The bed rocks against the wall—his thrusts are so rough and you’re sure that your entire body is going to ache for the next few days. 

That is if you’re still alive by then.  

One hand moves to your hip as the other moves to wrap around your neck. He applies a bit of pressure to cut off your oxygen and you gasp, eyes wide as you stare up at him. 

Begging. 

Pleading. 

Not for him to stop… 

…but for more. 

Joel grins at that and continues his thrusts, the sensation of your walls sliding along his length only urging him closer and closer to release. He can feel the tightness in the pit of his stomach begin to unravel and he pulls out, not yet wanting to be done with you. 

When Joel does pull out of you, he releases his grip around your throat and hears you take one deep breath. You’re breathing heavily and he looks between your legs—so fucking wet, so swollen and he taps your clit gently with the tip of his manhood only to see you squirm. 

You’re sensitive, he thinks to himself with a grin. 

“Joel,” you whisper. At this rate, you don’t care if you die. Having him bring you on the edge of an orgasm only to stop is worse, you’re sure of it. 

“Gonna keep you here forever,” Joel says with a dark gaze. “You’re mine now. You understand?” 

You clear your throat and nod slowly—anything to get him to make you come. “Y–Yes, yours.” 

“Doesn’t sound too convincing.” 

“Fuck, Joel! Please,” you beg. “I don’t care what you do to me, please just let me come…” 

Joel chuckles—dark, sinister. He leans down and lightly pecks your lips before he climbs off the bed to look at you from top to bottom. “Like I said, you ain’t the one in charge here.” 

Your eyes stare at him and you notice the way his manhood stands fully erect, glistening with your arousal. He follows your gaze and smirks, reaching down to tug on it. “This what you want?” 

You nod. “Please.” 

“So if I untie you, you gonna be a good girl and obey?” Joel contemplates, still stroking the base of his length. His hand doesn’t feel as good as being inside of you and he almost loses his resolve. 

But he doesn’t. 

Joel’s patient. 

“Y–Yes, please,” you plead once more. 

“Love hearin’ you beg, darlin’,” he grins. Joel slowly reaches over and begins to untie the rope around your wrists but he makes sure that his attention is focused on you. He needs to make sure that you’re not going to run again. 

Once the rope is finally undone, you roll your wrists and touch the bruises around it. You flinch and then look up at him—eyes still pleading. 

“One wrong move and I’m tyin’ you up again. You hear me?” Joel growls, seeing you move to sit up. You nod in agreement and he tugs on your ankle, pulling you to the edge of the bed with such force that you let you a quiet yelp. 

Joel flips you onto your abdomen and grabs your hips, lifting you up so that you’re now on all fours on his mattress. He comes up behind you and slides into you with warning—again. 

A loud moan escapes your lips and you fall forwards—cheek resting against his mattress, eyes fully shut tight, and your hands gripping the sheets so tightly that your knuckles turn white. 

“Feel even tighter this way,” Joel points out with a grunt. 

Your toes curl at his rough assault against you. It’s like he’s possessed, so territorial and so animalistic that his thrusts drive you further into the mattress. You wanted this, but you can’t help the pain that shoots through you at his size. Joel’s by far the biggest you’ve ever had and it wasn’t like you had a healthy sex life before this. 

“Fuck!” You scream, now trying to scramble away from him because it’s too much. He’s edged you for too long that you’re sure you can’t even get there—your body is humming and you can feel the familiar sensation in the pit of your stomach. You’re close and Joel knows. 

He laughs and grips your hips, pulling back onto him with such force that you arch your back. Joel grabs your arms and pins them at your lower back as he pulls your body forward and backward against him. He glances down and sees just how wet you are—the hair at his base completely damp from your arousal. 

“You wanted to come… then fuckin’ come,” Joel groans, pulling you up against his chest. He grunts into your ear as he keeps your arms pinned at your lower back. His other hand reaches around and dips lower to begin circling your clit against the pads of his fingertips. 

You moan so loud that it echoes throughout his home. Your head tilts back against his shoulder and he drags his teeth across the side of your neck—both your bodies now covered in a thin sheet of sweat. 

“J–Joel, I–,” a loud sob escapes your lips when you finally reach your orgasm. Your body shakes against his own and his thrusts don’t let up—still hammering into you from behind and using your slickness and tightened walls to bring himself closer to his own release. 

“Fuck,” he groans against you, releasing your arms and pinning you back onto the mattress. His hips sling against your own—Joel is literally fucking you into the mattress and you’re already so fucking sensitive that you try to move away. 

Fuck him. If he wanted to deny you of your orgasm, you can do the same to him. 

But it’s no use. Joel’s so much stronger and his large hands grip your hips so tightly that you feel pain from it. 

“S’cute,” he says in between thrusts. “Thinkin’ you can run away.” Joel grunts lowly, chasing his own orgasm. “Can promise you one thing, baby…” He slams into you once more and releases his warm seed into you—paints your tight and wet walls with his come. He leans forward, pushing further into you as his tip kisses your cervix. “You ain’t ever leavin’ me.” 

He presses soft kisses along your shoulder before he pulls out, watching with a smirk to see his come trickle out of you and down your legs. 

“You’re stranded, darlin’. Ain’t no one comin’ to save you,” Joel grins. “And I ain’t even done with you yet.”

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

Hehe

Kept Woman

summary: AU one shot. Your older boyfriend Joel knows what's best for you, even if you don't agree.

warnings: unspecified age gap, possessive!Joel, low key abusive!Joel, toxic behaviour, gaslighting, reader has poor self esteem, degradation, dubcon PIV, unprotected PIV, creampie, dirty talk, daddy kink, slut shaming, breeding kink, mild dissociation.

"You woke up with a fuckin' attitude today," Joel grumbles as he heaves himself into the driver's seat of his truck. He doesn't look your way as he slams the door shut and starts the ignition.

"You'd have an attitude too, if someone else kept you up half the night with their snoring," you snipe from the front passenger seat.

Joel's loud snoring has been a point of contention in your relationship for quite some time. He always snores, although it has never been as bad as it was last night. Most of the time you can subdue the snoring with a couple jabs of your elbow into his side, or a few light smacks on his shoulder, but last night nothing seemed to rouse him. The maddening snoring was unrelenting as it sawed through your eardrums, each inhale and exhale of Joel's breath bringing you closer to a fit of rage.

You ended up seeking refuge on the couch around midnight, angry at having to abandon your luxurious king bed for the far inferior comfortability of the living room sofa. As a result you are understandably irritable this morning.

You have noticed a pattern to Joel's noisy nocturnal breathing; it seems the nights of heavy, obnoxious snoring come after a long day at work, when he returns home extra tired and ready to collapse in bed. You know he's been putting in overtime at the latest project for his contracting company. You appreciate that he works hard. But if you have to deal with another round of cacophonous snorting then you will surely go crazy.

You see Joel scoff and rolls his eyes in your peripheral vision but choose to ignore it. He always thinks you're being dramatic or complaining about nothing. You flip the sun visor down to use the mirror before rifling through your handbag for your lipstick.

"For fuck sake," Joel growls suddenly, slamming the visor shut. He glares at you and jerks the gear stick into reverse. "How many goddamn times have I told you? I can't fuckin' see that side when I'm reversin' and you got that thing down."

"Maybe you need to get some glasses if you can't see," you quip nonchalantly while twisting off the lid of your lipstick from its tube. "Old man," you add half under your breath before applying your make up.

"Oh yeah, you're so funny," Joel snaps sarcastically. The engine revs and the tires squeal as he quickly reverses out of the driveway. He grips the top of the steering wheel with one of his large hands, the other resting tense on the gear stick. He usually lays that one on your thigh while he drives, for he's always eager to touch you, to reassure himself that what he owns is close by.

But today neither of you touch. There is no air of affection between you. The atmosphere in the truck is thick with tension and punctuated by sour, fractious silence. It lasts for five gruelling minutes before you decide that you can't take it any longer.

You reach over and push the button on the stereo and the radio comes crackling to life with a crooning, old fashioned country song. You make a small noise of disgust in the back of your throat and press another button to scan through the different stations. You are trying to search for something more palatable, something more upbeat to lift you out of this shitty mood.

"The fuck are you doin'?" Joel mutters, his eyes glued to the road ahead of him. "Quit messin' around with my radio. I like the station it was on."

"Come on, Joel. I don't want to listen to that crap." You huff. When you jump over to the next channel the speakers trumpet out a fast paced, beat driven track. Yes!

"Too bad. Ain't your truck, now is it, sweetheart?" Joel's thick fingers reach out and click the radio off without so much as a glance your way. You stare at him, half in surprise and half in rage. There is a self satisfied manner to his posture now, his shoulders a little more relaxed, his brow no longer pulled into a frown. There is even a hint of smug smirk on his mouth. He's cocky, the way he asserts his dominance over you, even through such small gestures. Sometimes you wonder if he does these things to antagonise you.

"Yeah, well, maybe I'll get my own car so I can play my own music," you snap, crossing your arms and glaring out the passenger window.

"Oh yeah?" Joel chuckles and shakes his head. "And just how are you gonna do that, baby? With the measly pay you get from waitressin' at that hokey little diner?"

He grins to himself, like the conversation is an amusing joke. You hate it when he is so condescending. His atittude acts as a reminder that he's so much older than you, exceedingly more financially stable, and undeniably more wise and savvy than you could ever be.

Your cheeks heat with embarrassment. It isn't the first time Joel has ridiculed your job. He's often pestering you to quit the diner to get a cushy receptionist position at his company instead. He says it's more respectable for your resume, although you suspect it is more so Joel can keep a closer eye on you than anything else.

"I like my job," you retort quietly, staring at the passing scenery outside your window. You hear Joel hum an acknowledgement before he clears his throat.

"I know, honey. I just don't get why," he says, tone considerably softer now. He glances over to you and you can feel the weight of his gaze, you but you don't meet it. "You could be earnin' atleast double what you make if you came to work with me."

The truth is that you genuinely do enjoy your job. You like keeping busy and being a part of the close knit team that operate the place. You cherish the rapport you've built with the regular costumers and you thrive on the praise they give you. Leaving your position would be giving up your safe space, somewhere where you belong and feel valued. It would be forfeiting your only remaining slice of independence.

You don't share any of this with Joel.

"They need me," you say in a small voice. "That's what Lenny always says."

Lenny is your boss, a funny and kind older gentleman who acts like a surrogate uncle to you. He often jokes that he has been managing the diner longer than you've been alive. He has always been a source of support for you, as have the other waitresses and line cooks.

Joel snorts derisively. "They don't need you, honey. They just use ya. Lenny wouldn't think twice about replacin' you if he had to."

"That's not true," you mumble weakly. You know what Joel says is not true but there is still a tiny niggling doubt in your mind that perhaps Joel is right. He usually is, after all.

He puts his large palm over your knee where your skirt has ridden up and strokes the bare skin there. The touch of his thick, calloused hand feels possessive. "Trust me darlin', some other girl would be fillin' your shoes before you even step foot outta that shithole."

His tone isn't cruel; he sounds matter of fact and concerned, paternal in his conviction. You sigh softly and don't bother to argue back. You don't speak for the rest of the few minutes drive to your work. The tension in the truck lingers, a sense of unease that makes you feel on edge, but Joel seems totally unaffected by it. He hums, carefree and seemingly oblivious, one hand on the top of the wheel and the other still on your knee. Always so in control, always so confident.

You stare out the window with a vacant expression, a myriad of thoughts passing through your mind.

How much money have I saved now? Will Joel be angry if I work the double shift on Saturday? I need the money. Should I tell him about the invite to Paul's party now or later? My sister texted again but I just ignored it - Joel would say I keep inviting drama into my life if I text back, but I feel bad.

You don't realise how quickly the drive passes until the rundown Lenny's sign comes into view and bursts your train of thought like a bubble. As Joel pulls into the parking lot you realise just how eager you are to don your little apron and turn off all the thoughts and emotions you don't want to deal with. Joel parks the truck and you have to fight the urge to jump out and scurry straight through the diner door.

"I'll see ya tonight, baby," he murmers, leaning over to plant a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth, the scruff of his moustache tickling your lips. You flash him a little smile and slip out of the truck.

The diner was busier than usual today. The steady trickles of people meandering through to get a bite to eat or something to quench their thirst make it impossible for you to even get a decent lunch break. You and Teresa bustled around the tables serving endless cups of coffee and milkshakes alongside stacks of plates laden with burgers, fries, sandwiches and all day breakfast specials. The lunch time rush was so chaotic that you thought the line cook would have a heart attack.

You didn't mind being run off your feet - it made the noise in your head turn into low level static, a kind of vibration that silenced the anxiety and allowed you to simply exist. Working as a team, being surrounded by friends, helped you to breathe more clearly, and by the end of the day you felt a pleasant ache in your cheeks from smiling so much.

The flow of patrons only began to dwindle once the end of your shift rolled around. The sun was beginning to set, pretty pink and orange hues splashed over the western horizon, signalling the end of the day. You stand outside the diner around the side of the building and share a smoke with Tony, one of the linecooks. He's an older man around Joel's age, with a charming smile and eyes that seem to twinkle. He's always affable and chatty, a perfect gentleman.

"You goin' to Paul's party?" He asks as he takes an inhale of his cigarette. He leans against the brick wall and passes the rolled cigarette to you. You accept it and take a drag.

"I dunno," you reply with a shrug of your shoulder, exhaling a winding curl of smoke from your nose. "Not sure what I'm doing that night."

Tony's mouth quirks into a half smile and he nods, something playful and knowing in his expression. You raise an eyebrow at him and cock your head to the side curiously.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Tony holds his hand out and you pass the cigarette back to him. "Nothing," he replies casually. "Just wondering if it's that or if it's because that boyfriend of yours won't let you."

You wrap an arm around your middle and scoff, but the noise comes out sounding more defensive than you would have liked. "He's got nothing to do with it," you mutter, kicking at the pavement with the toe of your shoe.

Tony nods sagely and pops the smoke inbetween his lips. "Uh-huh," he dismisses smoothly, "well anyway, me and Teresa are goin', if you wanna hitch a lift with us."

"Thanks. I'll let you know."

Less than a minute later you spy Joel's truck cruise down the road and turn into the parking lot, the engine rumbling loudly amidst the muffled sound of country music vibrating through the windows. The arrival of his vehicle acts as an unspoken cue to end your conversation with Tony. Tony seems to understand; he flicks the butt of the cigarette onto the ground and crushes it with the toe of his boot before shooting you a smile.

"G'night," he murmers. He wipes his palms on his apron and steps around you to walk back into the diner. Joel pulls up a few parking spaces from where you stand, further toward the back of the building and away from the diner entrance. You stroll over to the truck and smile when he opens the driver side door. The twangy music reverberates from the speakers inside the truck and you have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

"Hey baby," Joel greets you with his smooth Texan drawl. He switches off the engine before unclicking his seat belt, then hauls himself out of the truck.

"Why are you getting out?" You ask with a frown. "I've clocked off, let's go home."

He smirks and snakes an arm around your waist, pulling you close against his front. He presses a kiss to the top of your head. "Couldn't wait to have you in my arms, that's all," he murmurs. "Missed ya today."

You wrap your arms around his middle and lean your head against his chest. "Missed you too."

Joel tucks a stand of stray hair behind your ear and then strokes his thumb along your jawline. "Yeah?" He purrs. "You missed your daddy?"

You nod your head and nuzzle your nose into the soft, comforting material of his flannel. He chuckles softy and cups the side of your jaw in his palm. "How about we get goin' home and you can show me just how much you missed me, hmm?"

"Mmhmm," you whisper, letting your body relax into his embrace. You feel your eyes drifting closed. You are so tired and your feet ache. The thought of going home with Joel sounds perfect; he'll choose a movie and pick up some takeout and you two will snuggle up on the couch and retreat away from the world.

Joel slowly spins around so that your back presses against the side of his truck. You giggle softly and tilt your head to look up at him. He gazes down at you intently, a glint of hunger swirling in his brown eyes as he scans your face.

His large hand slides from your jaw back to the nape of your neck. "You're so pretty, baby," he cooes. His fingers thread through the strands of hair at the base of your skull, gently at first, before he closes his fist and pulls your hair taut in his grip. You wince at the sting of your scalp. "So pretty. And just for me, right?"

Joel suddenly captures your mouth in an impassioned kiss, pushing his tongue past your lips with a dominanting force that almost feels desperate, as if he wants to consume you. You feel overwhelmed by the intensity but you let it happen, allowing your mouth to be claimed by him. You can taste the coffee and mint on his breath, while the faint mix of his cologne, sweat and cigarette smoke fills your nostrils - it intoxicates your senses, making you slightly dizzy, and you sag back against the car.

Joel's other hand squeezes your hip possessively. You're pinned between him and the truck and it makes you feel small and vulnerable, more or less trapped by his solid frame. He slots his thigh inbetween your legs and you feel the buckle of his belt dig into your stomach.

You wait until you are struggling to breath before you finally press your palms against his broad chest and push, although you're far too weak to actually get him to stop. He eventually relents and breaks the kiss, though he keeps his face close to yours.

"Make it so fuckin' hard to keep my hands off you," he mutters, nuzzling his aquiline nose against yours. You let out a breathless giggle and fiddle with the collar of his shirt.

"Let's go home, it's been a long day," you offer. Joel presses a light kiss on the tip of your nose and grins, his warm breath beating over your cheeks.

"Not yet," he whispers, "can't stop myself, baby. You already got me so fuckin' hard." He grinds his erection against your crotch, his hardened cock straining the material of his jeans. "Feel that, honey? Feel how fuckin' crazy you make me?"

You feel a tug of panic within your tummy. He has that telltale tone in his voice; gravelly with lust, but with something dangerous simmering below the insistent ardor of his affection. It is how he sounds when he wants something.

And Joel always gets what he wants.

"Joel...," you murmer hesitantly, trying to keep the nervousness from cracking through your voice. "Not here, please not now. Let's go home first."

You're grateful that Joel has collected you from the back corner of the parking lot, just far enough to be partly secluded from traffic and other people walking around. But you are still less than sixty feet from the inside of the diner where your coworkers and boss are currently still working.  

"Just for a minute, baby, just need to feel you real quick." Joel reaches down and hitches up the hem of your skirt to dip his hand underneath. The caress of his calloused hand gliding up to the apex of your thighs causes a shiver to crawl up your spine. His touch always feels so good, so enticing, and when his fingers find the crotch of your panties a gasp escapes your lips.

"Joel," you whisper anxiously, clutching to the lapel of his jacket. He presses his fingers to your clit, groaning with pained lust when he feels the damp material of your panties.

"Fuck," he breathes. He fingertips begin to draw light circles over the bud, immediately eliciting a spark of pleasure to flood through your lower belly. "Just needed to feel you, sweetheart. Been thinkin' of you all day."

Joel leans down and kisses you once again, tongue slipping into your mouth and lapping at yours with fervid hunger. You feel your hips buck involuntarily, your body suddenly craving his touch, greedy for him to continue his minstrations.

He rubs your clothed clit with expert dexterity, the pressure steady but just light enough that your climax builds quite quickly. You hate how quickly he can unravel you, how effortlessly he seems to command your pleasure; but the blossoming ecstasy seems to rob you of your shame, making you forget just where you are.

All you can focus on is Joel.

Your heartbeat thrums in your chest and your breath comes in short, heavy exhalations through your nose. You feel your pussy flutter with electric pulses - you're close.

So fucking close.

Then it stops.

Joel withdraws his hand from your heat and loosens his other from your hair at the same time. He breaks away from the kiss and shuffles his boots backward a step, pulling out of your grasp.

What the fuck?

You lean forward in an embarrassing attempt to chase his lips, and whine in frustrated confusion.

"Joel what are you doing?" You pout, scowling at him.

He ignores you, glancing down as he hurriedly unbuckles his belt and unbuttons his jeans. You watch as he takes hold of his hard cock and pulls it out from his underwear, foreskin retracting to reveal the fat head already wet with precum.

Your eyes widen in shock and your head swivels from side to side, nervously scanning for any sign of someone walking by. "Joel!" You hiss. "Are you insane?!

"Sssh," Joel croons, not bothering to look up at you. "Can't help it, baby, you're driving me crazy." He gives a lazy pump of his cock and steps between your legs again, his heavy boots nudging your feet apart to widen your stance. "Come on honey, be good for me."

"No, Joel, not here, please," you protest hurriedly, but he isn't listening to you. His massive hand tugs your skirt upwards, exposing your legs to the cool evening air and the warm metal of the truck behind you. Joel forcefully slots his body inbetween your thighs and impatiently yanks your underwear to the side, your slick arousal smearing over your lips. Your panic increases when you feel the heat of his cock press against the opening of your pussy.

He won't actually fuck you here, will he?

"Joel!" You plead, smacking your hands against his chest helplessly. You've got to get him to stop, to wake him out of this horny stupor. Someone could pass by any second and see what's happening. You'll be humiliated if anyone finds you in such a compromising position, but you will surely die from mortification if someone from work spies you. "Please."

A low growl of annoyance rumbles from Joel's chest and his hand comes to squeeze your hip, not tight enough to hurt you but firm enough to make you stop moving. He glares at you now, his pupils blown wide with predatory desire, his jaw ticking. You whimper and let your hands fall to your sides.

"I ain't askin'," Joel warns in a husky whisper. "Open up, little girl."

There's no use fighting it.

You basically agreed to it anyway, letting him touch you like that just a moment ago.

You stay silent as you acquiesce, spreading your legs further and hitching one up to sit over his hip. "That's it," he purrs lowly, "let me in."

The stretch of the crown of his cock breaching your hole makes you grimace in discomfort. He is big - the biggest you've ever had - and it always hurts when he first ruts into you. You're wet but no where near enough to facilitate a smooth entry, especially because he hasn't worked you open on his fingers beforehand either.

He groans with satisfaction when he slides into your pussy in short stuttering bursts, hand on your hip gripping you tight in place. You scrunch your eyes shut and bite down on your bottom lip to try repress the pained moans threatening to spill out from you.

"You're tight, honey," Joel murmers. "You gotta relax." His other hand comes up to cup your cheek in his large palm tenderly. "Breathe through it, come on."

He tilts his head down to press a light kiss to your hairline and the scratch of his scruffy beard prickles your skin. He is only halfway inside of you and the sting of intrusion seems to only intensify; maybe your body is rejecting Joel, so conscious of your shame and unwillingness that your insides are refusing to adjust.

You remember the first time you and Joel had fooled around, how intimidated you were when you had discovered just how well endowed he was. *"Don't worry, baby, I'll make it fit," he had said with a chuckle.

And that's what he was going to do now - make it fit, whether or not you were ready for it.

You don't even get the chance to regulate your breathing before Joel drives his hips forward and feeds his length all the way inside you. Your mouth falls open and a choked whine claws its way up your throat, and on reflex your hands ball the flannel of his shirt into your fists.

You're so unbelievably full.

"Good girl," Joel praises you in a velvety mumble that makes your clit unexpectedly throb. "Knew you could take it."

You can't help but preen on the inside at the tiny scrap of approval. You feel your pussy clench and unclench around him. You whimper and flutter your eyelids open, your dizzying vision settling on the tanned skin of Joel's strong neck, the veins by his jugular. You fight the urge to latch onto the spot and sink your teeth into him, to do something to bite back at him.

His hips start to saw back and forth with steady momentum, slowly punching his fat girth in and out of you. The burning sensation eventually dulls but the feeling of your insides parting continues to bombard you, bordering on unbearable, and it makes you mewl pathetically.

"Never get sick of splittin' this pussy open. Love seein' you cry on my cock." Joel plants a sloppy kiss on the side of your temple, seeming to relish the taste of the salty sweat of your skin.

Joel's appetite for sex has always been pretty voracious; it isn't uncommon for him to sneak up on you in the kitchen and bend you over the counter to fuck you while you're trying to cook, or for you to wake up in the mornings with his tongue lapping at your cunt. It still surprises you that a man his age has such insatiable desire, but you really can't complain, not when he's able to coax orgasm after orgasm from your body so effortlessly.

But right now you're desperately wishing he would atleast try to control himself, that he wouldn't let his animalistic compulsion cloud his sense of rationality and make him so reckless. Joel is usually a conservative kind of man, no nonsense and a tad grumpy in temperament, who would probably sneer in disgust at the idea of a man fucking his woman outside the privacy of their home. Those who know him would never in their wildest dreams guess that Joel would do such a thing - such debauchery is far more characteristic of his younger brother, Tommy.

But with you it seems Joel loses all sense of conventionalism.

You wouldn't have ever imagined him doing this, either, considering how possessive and protective he is. But you've learnt that Joel seems to foresake his self righteous attitude whenever it suits him, and more often than not when it benefits him.

Maybe you should've tried harder to persuade him to stop, to take you home instead.

"You daddy's little cock slut?" Joel rumbles in your ear. His hand leaves its bruising hold on your hip to slide over your mound. You feel the rough pad of his thumb press on your clit and your legs twitch at the contact.

He starts to swipe deft circles over the bud and soon a buzzing wave of bliss reignites once more throughout your belly. You can't help but moan, the uncomfortable sensation of being forced open finally dissipating enough to allow you to feel a degree of pleasure.

He maintains the momentum of his hips rolling against yours as he rubs your clit; soon your body is overtaken with the barrage of Joel's movements and the ecstasy he imposes upon you, and you find yourself going slack against the truck panel. The shame and anxiety you felt begins to fade as you surrender to Joel.

Your legs tremble and he senses your strength draining, always so attuned to your body and the telltale signs of your approaching orgasm. He gives your cheek a light slap.

"Stay with me, baby," Joel commands."Hold on to me, I got you."

You obey, your hands feebly grabbing at the meat on his flanks to help keep you steady. He nods down at you, his fat cock still plunging in and out of your pussy, all while he massages your clit. He plays your body so expertly, like an instrument, like he knows you inside and out, knows that he's the only man who can take you apart so deliciously. Your mind starts to feel like it's floating the closer your orgasm creeps up.

"That's it, honey. You love this cock so fuckin' much, don't you? Joel grits, nuzzling his nose against your forehead. His accent is like honey to your ears, thick and dripping with lust as he whispers filth. "Greedy little pussy can't ever say no to gettin' fucked, can she?"

You whine brokenly in response, breaths coming out in short pants. You're so close, the residual pressure of your previously unfulfilled orgasm heightening every punch of Joel's cock, every circle of his digit on your clit. He continues to speak, praising you with a silky string of adoration, good girl and the best pussy I ever had dripping from his mouth.

Your orgasm reaches its peak and a swell of intense bliss blossoms from the depths of your loins to surge all throughout your body. Your pussy contracts and spasms, a trickle of juice squirting down Joel's shaft and over his balls. You have to bite down on your lip to stop yourself from crying out, causing a drop of blood to bloom out over your tongue. Your fingernails are close to tearing Joel's shirt, surely leaving indents on his skin even through the material.

"Yeah, that's it baby, cum on this cock," Joel rumbles with satisfaction.

He fucks you through your orgasm to prolong your high, but you quickly reach the point of overstimulation; you plead for him to stop, your voice hoarse and tired, devoid of strength. He continues for a few seconds longer, just to tease you and make you squirm on his dick, but then he stops.

"Good girl, so good for me," he whispers, planting another wet open kiss against your temple, his mouth hot and slobbering.

You're exhausted now and just want to sleep, the post orgasm delirium settling over your mind and body like a thick cloud.

But Joel isn't finished with you yet.

He sets both his massive hands on your hips and begins to fuck into you with renewed vigor. It rips you from the alluring pull of drowsiness and you squeal at the unexpected brutish pace he sets, the force and tempo verging on bestial, like he's purposely punishing you. The edge of your underwear grinds uncomfortably against your labia and chafes the sensitive skin there.

Joel uses his grip to pull you up and down on his cock like a ragdoll, a toy whose sole purpose is to be used for his pleasure. The euphoria from your orgasm has completely disappeared now, replaced with sharp stabs of pain from where the head of his cock kisses your cervix. You grit your teeth and claw at his sides, desperately wishing it was over.

He's so deep inside you that you swear he's stabbing into your stomach. Each stroke squeezes an involuntary guttural moan from the bottom of your lungs.

"Yeah, that's right," Joel growls. "Let everybody hear you whinin' like a bitch on my cock."

You are suddenly flooded with the mortifying remembrance of your surroundings. You aren't in your cosy bed in the house you share with Joel - you're still in the public parking lot by your work place, being screwed by your much older boyfriend. Burning shame and humiliation pour over you like liquid flames, saturating and scorching every inch of your skin.

You feel dirty. Cheap.

Like he's reading your mind, Joel leans down to whisper in your ear with chilling comtemptuousness. "Lettin' me rail you in a fuckin' parking lot, like some kinda whore."

You're caught off guard by the venom of his words; a tiny gasp escapes your mouth and your fingers instinctively loosen their grasp on his back. He doesn't seem fazed by the change in your body language, too engrossed in chasing his own high to perceive how deflated you've abruptly become.

Or maybe he just doesn't care.

"Yeah. Gotta be a real shameless slut to get fucked like this. Surprised you ain't got a load stuffed in you already."

You stare at the tanned expanse of his neck once more, your eyes unblinking like you're in a trance. The prickling of tears sting at the back of your eyeballs. You'd never cheat on Joel, would never have sex with someone else. Why is he saying these things?

Your stomach feels sick. You hadn't wanted to do this in the first place - it was Joel who seduced you to. But still, he's right, isn't he? You are letting him fuck you against his truck and you aren't even telling him to stop.

Like it's just part of your job.

"'S what you are," Joel croons harshly, "aint nothin' but a dirty whore cummin' on her daddy's cock. A real brainless bitch only good for spreadin' her legs."

Joel has always been the more dominant partner during sex with you. It comes so naturally to him, slipping into an authoritative role in the bedroom as easily as he does in day to day life as a manager of his own construction company. He does not relinquish control in any area of his life.

But this feels different. There is something prowling right below the surface of this whole situation that makes you feel uneasy; it is in the barbed edge to his speech, the uncaring movements of his hips, the animalistic heaving of his breaths. A feeling that he wants to hurt you.

"Bet you'd let me fuck your ass right now too." Joel pants in your ear, words slurring slightly from the fervid of his own gratification, like he's drunk. "Bet you'd fuckin' love that, lettin' me bust a nut in your little asshole."

You feel your heart crack a little at the cruelty of his tongue, how easily they seem to slither from his mouth like a serpent. You don't speak back.

"I'm gonna keep all your holes filled," he mutters. "Make sure you're drippin' all the time. That what you want, baby?"

Through the haze of your pain you can detect the telltale throb of his cock, the way his hips move in a more frenzied, sloppy rhythm. You know his body just as well as he knows yours; he's about to cum, and when you feel the momentary swelling of his girth you brace yourself for his climax. His fingers dig into the flesh of your hips painfully.

"Take it, bitch, take it all."

Joel slams his cock deep inside your pussy one last time before his cum erupts over your walls and cervix, filling you to the brink with his milky spend. He moans and grunts in your ear, his chest heaving against your frame, crushing you further into the panel of the truck, crumpling your far more delicate and smaller body.

He pulls out of you swiftly and you are immediately hit by the aching emptiness left inside you. You scramble to adjust your panties and to pull your skirt down, and your balance teeters dangerously. Joel is quick to catch you from falling to the ground, wrapping his hands around your upper arms to keep you upright.

"Whoa, honey, easy." He soothes, soulful coffee brown eyes darting all over your face with concern. His expression is so soft, a complete juxtaposition to the predatory scowl he wore just minutes ago, like he's transformed into a totally different man. "You okay?"

You nod your head, eyes fluttering open and shut as your brain fights against the foggy film of dissociation permeating your thought process. Are you okay? You aren't really sure.

"Mhm," you murmer anyway, almost inaudibly.

"Oh, my perfect girl," he whispers softly, so reverent and loving. "I love you so much." He tilts your chin up with his thumb and plants a tender kiss on your lips; you can't help but melt into it, like a kitten desperate for warmth and affection. The mist surrounding your senses abates quickly, leaving you staring up at Joel with mirrored adoration in your eyes. He strokes your hair and gives you a small smile, the dimple in his side visible for a second.

"I love you too." You preen and reach up to stroke at the patchy beard along his jaw, marvelling at just how handsome he looks. You want to savour this moment, wishing to memorise just how beautiful the intimacy between you and Joel feels right now.

He loves you. You love him. That's all you need. It's all you want.

"Come on honey, let's go home and get somethin' to eat," he tells you, stepping away and making quick work of buckling his belt back up.

You nod in agreement, getting ready to haul yourself up into the truck when your mind suddenly snaps alert to the lack of weight on your shoulder. You whine in annoyance as you realise the mistake you made. "Shit! I forgot my purse inside. Ugh."

"Well go on and get it," Joel drawls, laidback and unbothered. "I'll wait for ya." He gives your ass an encouraging pat. "Hurry along."

You sigh dramatically and turn around to go back inside. He folds his arms and leans back against the truck, eyeing the sway of your ass while he tries to conceal the conceited triumph radiating through his chest. Yeah, he knows what he pulled was an asshole move, but it had to be done. You've been getting a little too mouthy for his liking, a little too friendly with your coworkers. And once he knocks you up you won't have any more excuses to keep working at this shitty diner. You will be at home, barefoot and pregnant, with no where else to go and no one else to rely on. You'll be marked for life. A kept woman.

He smiles a little to himself, content with the knowledge that as you make the walk back to the diner the slow gush of his semen will be creeping into the gusset of your panties.

credit to @saradika-graphics for the divider

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

Heheheh this is so good

a wedding in june

cult leader!joel miller x virgin fem!reader

[18+] | wc: ~3.2k summary: You run from Joel on your wedding day. masterlist | AO3

warnings: HBO Joel, TLOU AU, dubious consent (i'm so serious don't read if it makes you uncomfortable), some proofreading, post-outbreak, commune/cult vibes, arranged marriage, mentions of infected/gore/violence, no use of y/n or too many details on reader's appearance, some face slapping, loss of virginity (and some pain associated to that but only a few sentences), outdoors sex, oral (f! receiving), squirting, unprotected sex, creampie

a/n: i promise i have other ideas rattling in my brain besides dubious consent 😭 i have a whole wip chart with tons of ideas that i hope i can write

You run faster at the sound of shouts behind you. Sweat drips down your temples and fear makes your heart beat erratically, but you don’t dare stop. 

The outer gates are only a few more hundred feet away. All you need to do is get past the trees and you’ll be able to escape. You don’t have time to think about how this will be your first time venturing outside of the commune. 

Everything you were taught about the outside, about the orphaned souls and monsters that lurk, none of that matters. Not when you’re more terrified at what your future will bring.

Joel Miller. The man who in just a few months, cleared away the hundreds of infected in the nearby valley. Joel, who in the commune’s monthly hunting trips, manages to find everything from venison to medication. 

The times you’ve been close enough to Joel, to feel the heat emanating off his body, you can almost taste the violence that simmers beneath his skin. Instead of it scaring you, like it would any sane person, it excites you. 

The longing in his gaze whenever he looks at you makes you dizzy. There’s a pulse of heat between your thighs each and every time, one that will only go away after you ride your pillow until exhaustion. Whenever you face him again, after you’ve dreamed of him taking you, you wonder if he knows what you do in the privacy of your room. 

There’s no denying that he’s saved this commune from the brink of starvation. Of course everyone, including you, is grateful for the kindness of a stranger. But in the months he’s been here, their gratitude has turned into pure devotion. 

Your parents practically pushed you into his arms the moment Joel asked about you. Normally quite level headed, your parents have begun to treat Joel like a God. You thought Joel would find their insistence of marriage off putting, that he would be an honorable man and let you choose your own path in this place.  

You were wrong. 

Your parents saw it as an honor that out of all the women in the commune, Joel chose you. The books and pretty dresses he finds on his trips are only a sign of how devoted a husband he will be, at least that’s what your mother tried to tell you.  

And the times you tried to speak to Joel and get him to rethink this marriage? Don’t worry about it, pretty girl, was all he would say before he’d send you off. 

You can imagine him in your bed and fantasize about him in your dreams, but to be his wife? Especially now that he’s been chosen to lead the commune—you want nothing to do with that. 

A denser path to your right has you changing directions, wishing to throw them off your trail. You can still make it if you run through here. 

Except it’s too late. Strong arms grab and push you into the lush grass. 

“No,” you scream, “let me go!” 

“What’s wrong with you,” Joel snaps, “don’t you know what’s out there?” 

“I don’t care,” you scream out childishly, “I’d rather be out there than be with you!” 

He climbs on top of you, grabbing your wrists in one hand and pressing them above your head into the grass. He leans on your thighs to keep you still and grabs your chin with the other hand. 

“Listen to me,” he insists, “you don’t know what you’re sayin’. You know nothin’ of what life is like outside these walls.” 

He digs his fingers into your cheeks and shakes your head slightly since you refuse to look at him. 

“Joel, did you find her?” your father calls out from a distance. 

“Yeah, I got ‘er.” 

“Great, let’s go back and finish the celebration–” 

“No,” Joel calls out. 

“Joel–” 

“Leave,” Joel interrupts. 

He continues sitting on you, putting most of his weight on your trembling body. The white dress you're wearing, a satin piece that he found on their last hunting trip into the town, rides up dangerously close to your panties. 

“I need to teach you a lesson in respect, wife,” Joel growls. 

He stands and just when you think you can escape again, he yanks you up with him. Joel holds your arm tight with one hand while taking off his belt with the other. He spins you around and brings your wrists behind your back, using the belt to bind them together. 

“You wanna see what’s out there? Since you think you’re so tough?” Joel asks, not waiting for an answer and instead dragging you to the gate. “I do everything to make this place safe for you, darlin’. But this is how you repay me? Runnin’ off at the first chance you get?” 

You’re surprised at his words and the sincerity of his voice. He sounds almost… sad. 

“Practically beggin’ to be out there with those fuckers instead of me?” he continues, “The only man who can truly protect you?” 

You reach the gate and your heartbeat picks up again. You’ve never been out this far. In fact, you’re acres away from the actual commune. While the gates are secure and regularly enforced, you can’t help but feel truly terrified that something will grab you just outside these barriers.  

“I’m sorry, Joel–” 

He stops, spinning you around and landing a hard slap, slap, slap on your ass. 

“You address me as sir.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” you cry out, “I learned my lesson. Let’s–let’s go back.” 

Joel ignores you, choosing instead to march you right to the gate. He keeps one hand on your arm and uses the other to maneuver the many locks and wires on the barrier door until it finally opens. 

“No, please! I said I was sorry! I wasn’t thinking!” 

He drags you out and for the first time in your life, you’ve left the commune. Despite only a metal gate separating both sides, this area seems devoid of life. 

He walks and walks until you wonder if you’ll pass out from the panic. You fall to your knees and Joel crouches right in front of you. 

“Your daddy ever tell you about the infected?” Joel whispers, tilting your chin up with his index finger. “How they’ll bite and rip into any part of your flesh.” 

“No, please,” you whimper. 

He drags a finger down your neck and over your exposed collarbones, leaving goosebumps in his wake. Your nipples tighten as he glides his finger over one breast and then the other. 

“Once they’re done with you, if there’s anything left, then you become just as mindless and violent as them. Forever lost–” 

“Sir–” 

His hand tightens around your neck, cutting off your words. 

“It’s not just one, babydoll. They like to travel in hordes. Makes it easier to find their victims.” 

Your air supply thins and blood rushes to your ears. You squeeze your thighs unconsciously as the pulsing between them only grows. Joel ghosts his lips over yours and your eyes flutter closed without thinking. 

“But it’s not just them,” he whispers over your lips, “there’s non-infected out there. People who won’t think twice about hurtin’ a pretty girl like you. Killin’ ya’ just for fun.” 

You’re not sure who kisses who first. It’s not the chaste kiss the two of you shared at the altar. It’s rough and has you pressing your body close to his so you can take every swipe of his tongue or bite from his teeth. He continues holding your neck, lightly squeezing so you have no other choice than to gasp for air. 

You fall back at the push of his hand on your chest. He flips you on your side to untie his belt from your wrists. You attack the moment your hands are free, sliding your hands through his salt and pepper hair and tugging him down.

Joel hisses but returns each of your kisses and bites with his own. You hear the squawk of a crow from above and you're immediately reminded of where you are. 

“Wait, sir,” you gasp, “not here. Take me back to your–our house–” 

He drags his teeth down your neck, rubbing his beard into your soft skin and biting down. 

“Thought you’d rather be out here than with me?” he says, repeating your words from earlier.  

“No,” you whimper, trying to push him off, “not here. I–” 

He reaches your chest and sucks your nipple into his mouth right over your dress. Your words are cut off and you're arching your back, trying to push more into his mouth. 

Joel makes room between your thighs and grinds down as you twist his wavy strands of hair between your fingers. His hard bulge rubs over your pussy and your whimper at the roughness.

He pinches your other nipple between two fingers then leans back to tug down the straps of your dress. Warm, summer wind glides over your now naked breasts and you shiver. 

“Look at these pretty tits,” he groans, “all mine.” 

Joel yanks the skirt of the dress over your tummy and runs a finger up and down your panty-covered pussy. You shamelessly grind down on his hand and cry out the moment he lands a harsh slap. 

“Please,” you beg with what's left of your sanity, “take me home.” 

With the same technique as before, Joel holds both wrists in one hand and uses the other to rip your panties off. You try to close your thighs from the sting of the elastic, but he’s quick to stop you. 

“Christ,” he whispers, “now ain’t that a beauty.” 

With two fingers, Joel swipes through your slick folds and brings them up to his mouth.   

“Mmm, sweet girl. Needa taste of this pussy.” 

“What do you mean—“

You try to remind Joel of just where the two of you are, but he fits his broad shoulders between your thighs and fuses his mouth to your pussy. 

You’re surprised, stunned silent by the heat of his mouth on your most intimate parts. You’re by no means ignorant of what a husband does to his wife—you’ve read enough of the romance books your mother keeps hidden in her bedside table and heard enough stories from your friends to have an idea of what happens on a wedding night. 

But never did you imagine it would feel like this. His beard and mustache only heighten the sensitivity between your thighs. The setting sun and the dense forest that surrounds the two of you should add to your terror, but Joel manages to put your attention elsewhere. 

His tongue lashes repeatedly over your clit and down to tease your entrance. You throw your head back onto the grass and stare through blurred vision at the purple sky, uncaring of where you are and of what creeps in the dark. 

He’s greedy, eating away at you like you're the last meal he’ll ever have. You’re slick and sticky, painting his face with your juices, making it easy for him to push a thick finger into your entrance. 

The stretch burns, but he calms you with a swipe of his tongue on your clit and the vibrations of his moans on your skin. 

“Your parents were right, you are a virgin,” he groans, pushing on the little piece of thin flesh that separates the rest of you. “Gonna be a tight fit, baby.”

You have no time to think about when your parents had that conversation with him. Instead, you're dumbfounded at the size of his fingers. You whine, unsure of what exactly you're asking, but nonetheless chanting more, more, more into the air. 

Joel manages to slide a second finger, curving them and pressing on something bumpy that makes you twitch and see black dots in your vision.

He stretches and scissors his fingers in your tightness, opening you up more and sucking your swollen button between his lips. Just when the heat is about to consume every inch of your body, he stops. 

“No,” you whine, trying to yank his head back to your thighs. 

Joel dodges your hands and laughs at the desperation written all over your face. He leans down, pressing his wet face to yours in a sloppy kiss, forcing you to suck on his tongue. Riding your pillow doesn’t compare to this.  

Just as before, Joel rips away and catches your wrist right when you reach for him. 

“If you woulda been a good girl, I woulda eaten this virgin pussy till mornin’,” he says while unbuttoning his jeans. “Made you ride my face and cum as many times as you wanted.” 

You barely understand how someone could ride a face, and yet you clench and gush around nothing, wanting his mouth or fingers back. You see the dark, curly hair at his base before he pulls out his length. 

“But for bein’ a brat, I’m gonna make you come on my cock instead.”

The tip is swollen and leaking a white-ish liquid that makes your mouth water at the sight. He lets go of your wrist and gently slaps your face. 

“Are you listenin’ to me, girl? I won’t fuck you if you ain’t payin’ attention.” 

“Y-yes, sir. I’m listening.” 

Joel laughs once again, noticing the dazed look in your eyes. 

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll make it fit.” 

There’s a craving inside of you, one that has you suddenly feeling so empty, that if he doesn’t fill you with his cock you think you’ll die. You repeat the word over and over in your head. 

You’ve read it more than enough times and heard it through hushed giggles from your friends, yet the way Joel says the word, the way he squeezes and twists his hand over his cock, you finally understand what the word truly means. 

Your fingers and the handle of your hairbrush were never able to give you what you so desperately seeked. You always stopped before you went in too deep, never able to take that final push inside.

He spreads open your thighs and you lean up on your elbows to try to catch a glance at what he’s doing. You see your sticky fluids stuck on your inner thighs and over the tip of his cock. He pushes in just an inch, and you gasp at the thickness. 

“Fuck, tight little thing,” Joel moans. “Need you to beg f’me, baby.” 

“Please, please, sir,” you answer quickly, “please, I–I want it!” 

He sinks in another inch, his face pinching in barely controlled restraint. 

“Say–fuck, say ‘I need your cock, sir’.”

The words are caught in your throat as you try to adjust to his size. Joel doesn’t like that you take too long to answer and slaps your cheek. 

“Answer me.” 

“I need your–your cock, sir,” you whine. 

“Again, fu–again,” he demands. 

You try your best to repeat his words, except he’s too far gone now. There’s a pinch, a rip of thin flesh and suddenly he’s sliding all the way in. You claw at his arms and at the grass to get away but he’s gripping your thighs, pressing deeper and whispering take it, pretty girl and you ain’t getting away from me.  

You feel full, so incredibly full. You’re split open, ripped apart just for him. 

“I know, baby. I know,” Joel coos, “it’ll hurt only for a minute.” 

His thumb rubs tiny circles on your clit and he leans over to press kisses on your eyelids and cheeks, licking away the tears that fall. 

The stretch burns, but his groans of pleasure and his gentle kisses have a warm glow spreading through your body. Joel notices the change in you and glances down to watch your hips move in small circles. 

“There we go, baby,” he moans, “knew you’d like it.”

He pulls out slowly, keeping eye contact with you and watching each pinch of your brow and flutter of your eyelids. 

“Saved this pretty cunt just f’me, yeah?” 

“Yes, sir,” you whisper, pushing away the sweaty curls from Joel’s forehead. 

He picks up the pace, curling his hand behind your knee and pushing it into your chest, arranging you like a doll. The pain now completely gone, you lay there, running hands over his arms and watching the sweat drip down his temples. 

Every slide of his cock kisses the very end of you. Your hips move and twist on their own accord and you have no choice but to cry out into the night sky. 

“Takin’ this–this big cock like a good girl, yeah?” Joel groans, watching his cock plunge in and out of your little hole. “Need you–fuck, need you to say you’re mine, baby.” 

“I–I’m yours, sir,” you whine, feeling a twinge in your core, “yours, yours, yours.” 

You dig your fingers in his neck and drag him down for a kiss. He grunts as you bite deep enough to draw blood. 

The thoughts from earlier, about running away from him, leave your mind. Even if it hurts a little, even if you aren’t prepared to be a wife, this is exactly what you need. And you won’t let anyone else have him.

“You gonna cum, girl? Gonna cum on your husband’s big cock?” 

This time he doesn’t stop you. His hand squeezes your neck and he traps you into the ground, pistoning his hips into your slick cunt. Your oxygen lessens and your cumming, numbness and white heat spreading throughout your body. 

“Just like that, baby,” Joel growls, “soak my cock.” 

You're gushing on him, painting the hair at his base with sticky juices. You tremble in his arms and claw at the hand that squeezes your neck. Joel doesn’t let up, fucking into your limp body, loving the way you mewl underneath him.  

He moves in short thrusts, stiffening and letting out an animalistic grunt into the night sky. He presses his head into your neck, sucking and biting into your soft skin while he spills his seed inside of you.

"Take my cum, baby. Take it, take it," Joel moans.

You clench around him, massage his cock with your inner muscles. Every drop of his cum belongs deep inside of you. 

With the little strength left in your body, you run your fingers through his hair. Joel's hands move to grip your thighs and he grinds down, spilling the last of his cum into your cunt.

"You belong to me," Joel whispers. "Don’t ever run again."

You lay there in the grass, breasts bare and pussy full of your husband's cock.

"I won’t," you promise. 

Joel leans back and slowly slips out. There’s a twinge of red mixed with his cum that he wipes up with your ripped panties. He lays down next to you and brings you in close so that your head is placed on his chest. You listen to his heartbeat and the sounds of crickets around you.

You think about the long way back to Joel's–well now your house too–and then you remember exactly where the two of you are.

"Sir, we're outside of the gates what if something or someone comes–we don't have any weapons–"

“There’s another gate a few miles out," he interrupts, "I installed it for extra protection around this place.” 

You drop your head on his chest from relief and exhaustion. Joel rubs a hand down your back and squeezes your arm. 

“I’d never put you in harm's way, pretty girl.”

-

general taglist: iloved1lfs0

ps: i know that there has been other cult leader!joel fics but in no way shape or form have i copied those works for this. if there is something major in my work that sounds similar to someone else's, it's purely by coincidence. i respect each person who takes time out of their day to write FREE content and the last thing i'd do is steal their storylines 🤍🤍🤍

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

the good wife

Pairing: Yandere!Husband x Reader Description: You don’t remember marrying Malcolm, but he remembers every version of you—and each time you try to leave, he brings you back. To be a good wife, he says, all you need to do is stay. Warning/s: Yandere | Gaslighting | Memory Manipulation | Captivity | Non-consensual Surveillance | Emotional Abuse | Obsessive Behavior | Psychological Horror Note/s: Heya! For those who have purchased Dark Roast so far, I'll be sending a better version once it's available. I can't provide the exact time, but in the future. ^^ Anyway, enjoy reading!

Masterlist | Dark Roast 50% OFF | Commission | Tip Jar | Taglist

The morning felt like any other—ordinary and mundane. You had kissed him goodbye like you always did, the scent of his cologne lingering long after the door clicked shut. His touch stayed too, warm and possessive as he cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing the hollow beneath your eye, pausing there just a moment too long.

“Be good, love,” Malcolm murmured, voice low and smooth, velvet laced with iron. There was a sweetness in it. But also, a quiet command, like the smile that never quite reached his eyes.

“I will. I always am, darling,” you replied, automatic and soft. The words tasted familiar, worn from use, yet strange on your tongue. You loved him. At least… you believed you did. You had to. There was no reason not to. Not really.

He chuckled—a quiet, amused sound that always pulled a smile from you. You were trained to respond to it, like muscle memory. “I know. But still. Behave, alright?”

You nodded. “Of course. I’ll see you tonight.”

And just like that, he was gone. The silence that followed felt deeper than usual. The house swallowed him whole, leaving only you behind.

You wandered through the quiet halls, trying to shake the feeling that had started to gnaw at the back of your mind. You were often like this lately—adrift, grasping at something you couldn’t quite name. He told you it was nothing. That it was normal, considering the accident. That your memory would return in time.

Except… it hadn’t.

You couldn’t remember the day you married him. Or the way you’d met. Or why you sometimes woke up gasping in the dark, drenched in sweat, your throat raw like you’d screamed your voice away. You’d asked him once. He had smiled and kissed your forehead, whispering, “Some memories are best left buried.”

That day, the weight in your chest didn’t go away.

It was there again now, heavy and suffocating, like invisible fingers tightening around your lungs.

You wandered to the bedroom—your bedroom. Or so he said. You barely remembered how to navigate the house without thinking. But your body moved on its own. Habit. Routine. Familiarity programmed into your bones, even when your mind resisted.

The drawer in the corner of the room called to you. You didn’t mean to open it. Not at first. But your hands were already reaching for it before your thoughts caught up. The compulsion was too strong. Something inside you needed to know.

And when the drawer opened, you froze.

Photographs. Dozens. Maybe hundreds. All carefully arranged. All tucked neatly between delicate tissue paper, as if they were precious artifacts. At first, the faces didn’t register. Different hairstyles. Different expressions. Different clothes.

But the same eyes.

Your eyes.

They were all you.

Laughter frozen mid-breath. Smiles that never reached your eyes. Dresses you didn’t remember owning. Bruises you couldn’t place.

Some photos were newer. Others older. You recognized none of them, and yet they were undeniably you. A collage of versions—happy, scared, serene, desperate. But all of them shared one common trait: they were being watched. In each frame, subtly blurred in the background, a shadow lingered.

Him.

Sometimes only his hands were visible, placed possessively around your waist or brushing your hair. Other times, he was fully in frame—close, always too close—smiling with a calm, calculated gaze. The kind of smile that made your skin crawl now that you saw it from the outside.

A ribbon. A perfume bottle. A dried rose, still tied with a bow. A necklace—broken at the clasp. A fingernail. You didn’t know whether it was yours, and that uncertainty was the worst part.

And then, the flash drive. Sleek. Unmarked. Black as night.

Your hands moved like they weren’t your own. You crossed the room, plugged it in, and opened the file. A single video.

The screen flickered. Static.

And when it played, you saw a familiar face.

You.

You were strapped to a chair. No… a bed. Bare shoulders trembling, your mouth gagged, eyes wild with terror. You writhed against the restraints, muffled cries choking in your throat. You didn’t remember this. You didn’t remember this. But it was you.

Then came the voice. Soft. Steady.

His.

“You always try to leave, my love. But you never make it far.”

The camera panned slowly, almost lovingly, to reveal him sitting beside the frame. Calm. Smiling. Watching you.

“I’m not angry,” he continued. “You don’t need to remember. You don’t need to understand. You just need to stay.”

He leaned closer to the lens, his eyes dark and glinting with something sharp beneath the surface.

“I’ve loved every version of you. Every time you run, I find you. And I bring you home.”

Your blood ran cold.

“I know you don’t remember. That’s alright. I’ll remind you. Over and over, if I have to.”

The screen flickered again. Another scene. Another you. This time crying. Another version screaming. Another begging. Another… smiling.

Each version more twisted than the last. You watched as he carefully recreated scenarios—like a director obsessed with a single actress. A thousand variations of the same obsession. A thousand attempts to preserve the perfect you.

You yanked the flash drive from the port, heart hammering. Your stomach churned, bile rising in your throat. You stumbled backward—

Knock knock.

A soft, deliberate sound.

You froze.

Another knock. Louder. Measured.

Your heart leapt into your throat. You turned to close the laptop, to hide everything—but you were too slow. The door creaked open.

And there he stood.

Framed in the hallway light, still in his work clothes, tie loosened, his smile too pleasant to be real.

“Love?” he called gently. “What are you doing?”

You swallowed hard, pulse racing. “I-I was just… cleaning.”

He took a step in. Then another. The door shut behind him with a quiet click.

“You never clean in here.”

You couldn’t speak. Couldn’t breathe.

He stopped behind you, his presence a wall of heat and silence. You felt his breath on your neck. Then his hand on your shoulder, light as a feather.

“You opened the drawer, didn’t you?”

You said nothing. But the tremble in your body gave you away.

He leaned in, lips grazing your ear.

“You always open the drawer eventually.”

Your blood turned to ice.

“How many times has it been, hmm?” he whispered. “Seven? Eight? I lose count. Each time you forget, and each time you find your way back. And I… I get to fall in love with you all over again.”

You whimpered, the sound dying in your throat. His hand stroked your hair with practiced gentleness.

“It’s okay,” he said sweetly. “We’ll start over. Again. Just like before. I’ll fix everything.”

You tried to move, but he tightened his grip. That same voice, that same gentle cadence, coiled around you like barbed wire.

“You’re mine, love. You’ve always been mine.”

And this time, you weren’t sure you’d ever escape.

TBC.

noirscript © 2025

Taglist: @hopingtoclearmedschool @violetvase @zanzie @neuvilletteswife4ever @yamekocatt @mel-vaz @vind1cta @greatwitchsongsinger @delusionalricebowl

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

Oh😋

Daddy’s Little Assistant - R.C

Rafe Cameron x wards assistant!reader

Tell me again how professional you are while I’m fucking you stupid

Ward had rules. Dress modestly. Answer every call. Don’t touch the bourbon.

You’d followed them to a T since day one—pressed skirts, tight buns, soft yes, Mr. Cameron and no, Mr. Cameron. You’d charmed him effortlessly, outshining Rafe in the only thing that ever mattered to him: his father’s attention.

Rafe noticed. He always noticed.

That morning he’d watched Ward hand you the keys to the family boat—the family fucking boat—and say, “You’re the only one I trust with this right now.”

He nearly snapped.

You were in the study that night, alone. Filing something, probably. Looking like temptation in kitten heels, a white blouse tucked into a high-waisted pencil skirt, lips glossed just enough to shine. You didn’t even look up when the door shut behind you.

“Miss Secretary,” Rafe drawled, mockingly respectful.

You flinched, turning to face him. “Rafe. Can I help you?”

His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Funny. That’s supposed to be my line, isn’t it?”

You opened your mouth to respond, but he was already crossing the room—casually, like a lion stalking a gazelle. “You’ve been real helpful to my dad. Filing his papers. Pouring his drinks. Flirting with him like a little—”

“I don’t flirt with your father.”

“Oh?” His tone turned cruel. “Then what do you do? Huh? Smile pretty and bend over every time he drops a fucking pen?”

You backed into the edge of the desk. “You’re out of line.”

“I’m out of line?” he echoed, one hand bracing on the desk beside your hip. “You think you’ve got him wrapped around your little finger? Think a few good manners and tight skirts make you untouchable?”

You held his gaze, sharp and unwavering. “I’m good at my job.”

Rafe laughed, the sound bitter. “Oh, princess. You’ve got every man in this house fooled.”

He reached up, brushing a stray strand of hair back into your bun with fingers that lingered too long against your temple. “You play the part so well. But I see through it. I see you.”

You swallowed. “Then what do you want, Rafe? You want me gone?”

He leaned in, “Nah. I want you to admit it.”

“Admit what?”

“That you like the attention.” His hand found your waist, fingers pressing into the fabric of your skirt. “That you like being watched. Liked it when he handed you those keys in front of me.”

Your pulse pounded in your throat, but you didn’t move. “That’s not what this is.”

He smirked, fingers sliding just a little lower. “No? Then what is it? A promotion? A chance to be the new Mrs. Cameron?”

You slapped him.

The sound cracked through the air, sharp and satisfying, even as your palm stung. His head snapped to the side—but he only grinned wider, eyes wild now, feral.

“Touchy,” he breathed, turning back to you. “Did I hit a nerve?”

“I don’t have to listen to this,” you said, trying to sidestep him. But he blocked you easily, chest brushing yours as he crowded you back against the desk.

“Why do you hate me so much?” you asked, voice trembling—not with fear, but rage, confusion. You’d done nothing wrong.

He let out a humorless laugh. “Because he never looked at me like that.”

You blinked. “What?”

“He never gave me the keys. Never said I was the one he trusted. Not once. Not even when I—” He stopped himself, jaw tight. “But you? Walk in here with your shiny shoes and fake little smile and suddenly you’re his golden fucking girl.”

“Because I work,” you snapped. “Because I’m clean, and sober, and I don’t crash his cars or embarrass him in front of clients—”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he growled, slamming a hand down on the desk beside your hip. “You think he gives a shit about any of that? He just likes that you make him look good. That’s all you are. A little doll he can parade around to show he’s still got taste. Still got control.”

You stared at him, chest heaving. “You think you’re so different?”

Rafe blinked, as if you’d slapped him again.

“You act like you hate him, but every time he walks past you, you flinch like you still want his approval. You practically beg for it.”

He said nothing as you leaned in, whispering, “And you hate that I don’t.”

“You want to be in control so bad, don’t you?”

Before you could answer, his hands gripped your waist—tight, bruising—and hoisted you onto the desk. You gasped as your skirt rode up.

“You think you’re above me?” he sneered, yanking your thighs open.

Then he shoved your skirt up and tore your panties down in one vicious motion. The air hit your soaked heat and Rafe just… stared. Like he couldn’t believe it. Like your body was the final betrayal.

“No fucking way,” he muttered. “You’re this wet for me? For this?”

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t.

“Slut,” he whispered, almost reverently. Then he spit—right on your cunt. Watched it drip between your folds, his thumb swiping the mess through your slick.

“God, you’re so fucked,” he growled. “You like pretending to be good. Dressing like a little wife. But underneath, you’re just filthy, aren’t you?”

You arched, whining as two fingers pushed into you without warning. He pumped them slow, curling deep, dragging out a cry that echoed off the walnut-paneled walls.

He pumped faster, grinding the heel of his palm against your clit until your thighs were shaking and your moans were desperate.

You came on his fingers, panting, shame burning through your veins as he dragged them out slowly, wet and sticky.

He popped one glistening finger into his mouth and groaned.

"Better than coke."

You were still shaking when he undid his belt with one hand, the buckle clinking, his slacks falling just enough for you to see how hard he was. You didn’t have time to speak before he was fisting his cock, dragging it through your folds, wetting the tip with your release.

“Rafe,” you whimpered, still breathless.

He grinned, feral. “Still so polite.” teasing you as he lined up and thrusted, burying himself to the hilt in one brutal motion. Every thrust hit deep, dizzying. Your blouse had ridden up, your bra askew. You were a mess—moaning, squirming as his thrusts got rougher. Your nails clawed at the desk as he fucked you through your second orgasm, and into your third.

“Not so fucking proper now, are you?” he snarled, snapping his hips so hard the desk shook. “Look at you. Legs wide. Mouth open. Moaning like a whore.”

You scratched at his back, your head tipping as pleasure rolled through you—hot, overwhelming, endless.

He leaned in, pressing his forehead to yours. “You gonna cum for me again, pretty girl?

You sobbed his name as your walls clenched around him, the overstimulation making your thighs tremble. He bent you in half, your knees pressed to your chest now, his cock drilling into you from above.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” Rafe hissed. “Where do you want it, baby? On your back? Your tits? In that pretty little mouth?”

“Inside,” you begged. “Please—inside, fill me up—” 

He let out a guttural groan, hips jerking wildly as he spilled into you, feeling his warmth fill you. He didn’t move for a long moment. Just panted above you, letting your body twitch and tremble under him.

When he finally pulled out, you felt his cum drip down your thighs, thick and hot.

Rafe smirked, brushing your hair from your face.

“Clean yourself up, sweetheart. Ward’s home in ten.”

And he walked out, leaving you half-naked, shaking, and soaked on top of the desk you once called your workplace.

So much for professionalism.

a/n: daddy i promise that ill never disappoint you😩

MASTERLIST

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

Yoo this is crazy 10/10

No Way Out ch. 2

Dark!Rafe Cameron x f!Reader

Warnings: noncon, smut, abusive relationship, domestic violence, verbal abuse, drugs, choking

Things escalate in your relationship with Rafe to a boiling point

Blinding rage was the only thing that Rafe could focus on in the small jail cell.

He paced around the cramped space like a caged animal, ready to pounce on anything that walked by the door.

The past day was all too fresh in his mind, replaying like a loop that only fed into his need to get out.

“I’m just worried about how much blow you’ve been doing, Rafe! It’s not good for you.. It just makes you so much more-”

“So much more what?” He snapped back at you and you bit your tongue.

“I don’t know.”

“I think you do.”

“So much more angry,” you timidly replied. “You aren’t yourself when you’re using, baby.”

He rolled his eyes in annoyance, shaking his head with a scoff. “You don’t know what it’s like, Y/N! You don’t get how hard I have to work just for my dad to see what I am capable of. If you had any idea-”

“Oh, if I had any idea how hard it to have a rich dad?” You couldn’t stop the sarcasm from cutting through your voice.

“Watch it,” Rafe growled, a dangerous tone in his voice. You didn’t notice how close he had gotten to you.

“I just don’t think your daddy issues give you an excuse to be doing coke all the fucking ti-” before you could even perceive his movement, you felt a sharp sting blossom across your cheek and you vaguely registered that he had slapped you. Your head whipped to the side, tears springing up immediately.

Completely taken by surprise, you had no time to react before he shoved you to the ground. You fell hard backwards, hitting your elbows and bottom on the floor beneath you. You cried out in pain, cowering away from your boyfriend as he leered above you.

“Talk to me like that one more time and see what fucking happens,” he seethed. He lurched forward and grabbed your wrists with both hands, clenching hard and you let out a sob.

“You should consider yourself lucky!” sneered the blond. “I pay for everything you have! You would be out walking the streets without me.”

His breathing was heavy, but he hadn’t even broken a sweat yet. You shrieked when he yanked you to your feet by your throat, shaking you hard.

Your arms flailed out at his hands, clawing at them and trying to pull him off but it was no use. You gasped for breath, crying out as his fingers dug into your throat.

“P-please-!” Precious air that was running out fueled your pleading. Rafe’s eye twitched, lip curling before he pushed you back to the ground.

Gulping for breath between sobs, you glanced up at the man towering above you in fear. His hand was clenched in a fist, eyebrows furrowed as he shook with rage.

You were terrified by how hard he had choked you, the utter lack of regret in his eyes.

In the early days, fights like these were rare, and on the off occasion that he had laid a hand on you, it was never as intense, and the apology that followed was always 100x longer than the brief fight. Nowadays, you rarely even got an apology.

With a scowl, he examined his arms where you had scratched him and his darkened eyes met yours.

You didn’t fully know why you did what you did next. Or how it unfolded.

Maybe it was instinct. Maybe you were out of options, just so afraid that you did what any trapped animal would do.

You ran.

You pushed yourself off the floor in an instant, rushing out of the living room to the bathroom.

Rafe was bigger than you, stronger than you. Faster.

It was dumb luck that his reaction time was just a moment too slow.

You slammed the bathroom door, locking it behind you as fast as you could. Your heart thundered in your chest, thumping so hard you could hear the blood rushing in your ears.

The door behind you rattled as Rafe punched and kicked at it.

“Open the fucking door, Y/N!!” His fists pounded against the wood and you cowered as far from the door as you could.

Your mind was racing and only then you remembered the cell phone in your back pocket.

With shaky hands, you unlocked it, clicking the phone icon before dialing emergency services.

“Let me in! Open the fucking door bitch!!” He bellowed again. You winced every time the door shook, terrified he was going to knock it off it’s hinges. “I’m gonna fucking kill you!”

Quietly, you begged with the operator to send someone, giving your address to the woman on the phone.

“Please! He- He’s trying to break the door down,” you sobbed. “I’m scared he’s going to hurt me o-or worse!”

“Y/N, I swear to god when I get in there, you’re going to be sorry!” Rafe roared from the other side of the door. He cursed when he hit it too hard, apparently injuring his hand.

You couldn’t do anything but hide in the corner, hoping that he wouldn’t be able to get in before the cops arrived.

Sitting there on the floor felt like hours, but it was probably only a few minutes before you heard a pounding on the front door and you nearly passed out with relief.

The activity outside of the bathroom door stopped suddenly as Rafe realized what was happening. He cursed, loud enough for you to hear, but not nearly at the same volume before.

You knew it was safe to step out of the bathroom when you heard him greet the people at the front door. You brushed the tears from your eyes, trying to compose yourself.

“Good evening officers, what can I do for you tonight?” He was trying to act nonchalant, but there was a tense edge to his voice you couldn’t mistake.

You could hear muffled responses growing louder as you approached the door and you knew the officers must have noticed you, because the speaking stopped and Rafe turned to look at you.

Anger that only you could see flashed across his eyes, but even he knew better than to display it in front of cops. The blond stepped to the side to allow you to stand beside him, and he grabbed your hand lovingly as if to say, ‘look officers, everything is okay here.’

“Are you having any problems tonight ma’am?” One of the officers asked you with a concerned look.

Rafe’s grip on your hand tightened, warning you not to say anything. A lump formed in your throat. Did you even have it in you to say something?

With a sniffle, you plastered on a small smile, “N-no. We haven’t had any issues here.”

The officers looked slightly surprised at that, glancing at each other and exchanging a brief, wordless conversation.

“Well, procedure says that we have to interview you both separately.” One of them explained.

“This is just stupid,” Rafe complained. “I think we’d rather talk to you together, isn’t that right baby?”

Hesitantly, you nodded with lowered eyes, “Yeah.”

“Unfortunately, procedure is procedure, and we have to do it this way.” The woman explained, and her male partner nodded in agreement.

“How about I interview you,” she looked at you. “And my partner will interview you,” she said with a pointed look towards Rafe.

“Fine,” he spat out through gritted teeth, flashing you a warning look before he was led away to talk to the other cop.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding when you were left alone, and the cop gave you another concerned look.

“What’s your name honey?”

You told her.

“What happened tonight, ma’am?” She asked you gently and you almost broke down right there. Tears sprung to your eyes and you took a deep breath to calm yourself.

“I-I was so scared,” you confessed. Her eyes wandered to your neck, able to make out the old bruises and the redness on your cheek that had only started to fade.

“He just gets so angry at me and-” a sob cut you off, voice breaking as you remembered the fight. “H-he was choking me, and.. I didn’t think he was going to stop.”

The tears were flowing more now as you recounted what had happened, and the cop gave you a sympathetic look. Your hands fell in your lap and her attention was drawn to your bare legs which were littered with tiny cuts from when Rafe had pushed you into glass the previous week.

She paused before speaking, “Listen, I don’t know how it’s going with my partner, Michael and your boyfriend, but I would feel comfortable taking your boyfriend down to the station based on what you’ve told me. How does that sound to you?”

Your eyes widened in surprise. You didn’t really know what you had expected when you called. You were just so scared with what he might do, you did the only thing you could think.

And now you were faced with an impossible decision.

Agree with this and let them take Rafe, and he would be let out who knows when. But say no, and you would have to face the wrath of Rafe tonight, and you knew that he was more pissed off than you had ever seen him.

Without even knowing that you had made up your mind, you found your head nodding, tears coming to your eyes.

You would deal with Rafe later. But tonight, you were just happy with the idea of sleeping alone for the first time in months.

~~~~~~~

“And so you’re saying you two had an argument, but it never got physical?”

“No, I would never lay a hand on her! You heard her yourself, we haven’t had any problems tonight.” Rafe smiled, southern charm laid on thick. He had dealt with police many times before, and when they weren’t sticking their noses into shit that he was involved in, he respected them.

But he also knew how to manipulate them.

The cops eyed Rafe’s hand and the scratches on his arm.

“Get into a bar fight?” He questioned.

“Ah no, got into a little motorcycle accident. Nothing too bad, just fell over, you know how it is,” the blond chuckled.

“And you don’t know who made the call?” The officer raised an eyebrow as he questioned the blond.

“No clue. Maybe some kids in the neighborhood made a prank call or something,” he laughed casually, throwing a polite smile at the man across from him.

The officer chuckled, “yeah we do get a lot of those.” He clicked his pen, flipping his notebook shut. “Well, I think I’ve got all I needed from you. Thank you very much sir. And uh, tell your dad I said hi.”

“Will do,” Rafe grinned, extending a hand to shake the officer’s.

“You just sit tight here, I gotta talk with my partner real quick and then I’ll update you on what’s going on.”

He walked away from the taller man. Rafe leaned against a tree in the park at the middle of the sprawling apartment complexes watching him walk back.

Most of what they discussed, he couldn’t make out and the female cop turned to look at him several times.

The only thing he did hear was “Hey, do you know who this guy is? That’s Rafe Cameron. Yeah, that Cameron.”

Eventually they both walked over and Rafe stood up straight as they approached.

“So, are we all good here?” He asked, charming smile ever present.

“Well,” she said, looking over at her partner. “Not quite.”

~~~~~~

You locked the front door, the only door, dutiful to make sure all of the windows were locked as well.

You knew that Rafe was going to be in jail for a few nights at least, but you wanted to be careful anyways.

Last night had been the best you had slept in months. No fears of wandering hands, or unwanted advances that you had no emotional capacity for.

Slipping into your bed and being able to be safe while you slept was all you had dreamed about for so long.

You curled up in the blanket, unaware of the sound of the front door opening softly as you tried to drift off to sleep.

The click of your bedroom door opening had you jolting awake though. And you were shocked to see a familiar figure leering in the doorway.

“H-h-how the fuck did you get in here?” You whispered in a panic, sitting up and alert in bed.

“Oh sweetheart, you didn’t think I had a spare made?” His tone was ice cold and mocking. You could almost feel the rage radiating off of him.

Rafe took a step into the room, closing and locking the door behind him and your stomach dropped.

“How are you here? You got taken away, I- I saw it,” you didn’t believe this was happening, couldn’t believe this was happening.

“Ward pulled a few strings, can’t have a stain on the Cameron name,” he spat out bitterly. Rafe stalked further into the room, nearing your bed, a predatory look in his eyes that almost stopped your heart.

Your eyes whipped to the phone on your bedside table and you lurched toward it at the same time that he did.

“Nuh uh. Not this time, sweetheart.” He wrestled with you, hands grabbing at the phone that he wretched from your grasp.

To your horror, he threw your phone against the wall, and you watched it smash to pieces.

Your only lifeline was gone.

You fought back hard against him, but the victor was inevitable. You both knew it from the minute he stepped into the room.

He threw you onto the bed, roughly grabbing at your thin nightwear. He tore your blouse, hands ripping the material as you hit him, trying desperately to stop his assault.

“Stop- stop fucking fighting!” He roared as he kicked your legs open, fumbling with his shorts and your crying intensified.

His hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing hard as he forced himself into you. You let out a strained gasp at the feeling, head falling back against the pillow in shock. Rafe pinned you down against the bed by your throat, cock sliding in and out of you at a torturously fast pace.

“You thought you were gonna get rid of me that easy, Y/N?” Rafe jeered as he snapped his hips against yours. The pressure at your throat increased, forcing you to meet his eyes. “Are you really that stupid?”

You shook your head, tears falling past your lashes. Thoughts jumbled inside your head, the cloud of fear and arousal confused you.

“You got what you wanted. You called the cops, and they aren’t gonna help you,” his lip curled in sadistic pleasure as he belittled you.

His free hand found your wrist, pinning it to the bed as he twisted it painfully. You tried to turn your face away from him when he came close, but he grabbed your chin, holding you in place as his lips smothered yours. His tongue pushed its way into your mouth, lips moving against yours against your will.

A sick feeling was growing in your stomach, the sinful combination of pain and pleasure mixing within you.

Every thrust of his cock had you gasping and moaning against his lips. Your legs shook as he took his anger out on you, plunging deeper and harder than ever before.

The grip at your throat was getting harder, constricting your breathing even more. You gasped when he finally pulled his face away.

“You could have ruined everything,” Rafe seethed. Your teary eyes meant nothing to him. Nauseatingly, you realized that this was a punishment because you had dared to try to leave. Dared to say anything.

“I love you so much, Y/N. You know I do. You know I do. And I’ll be dead in the ground before I let you walk out on me.” He was fucking you frantically now, every thrust a cruel promise of his threats.

When he hit that spot that made you see stars again and again, you came undone. You bit your lip, crying out as your orgasm washed over you. Your legs were shaking uncontrollably, shame burning across your face, conflicted by your body’s reaction.

“Fuuck-” Rafe groaned loudly as you squeezed around his cock, and he came hard, pumping his hot load deep into your sore cunt, before he began to move his hips again.

And when his hungry, piercing eyes met yours again, you knew that the night was far from over.

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

Dark!rafe with financial control over reader???

this is where my mind took this, hope thats okay!! soo nervous to put my writing out there again ahhh just something small as i ease my way back into everything. hardly proofread but hope u enjoy <3

wc — <1k (tw: abusive relationship/domestic violence, financial abuse, gaslighting/manipulation, implied noncon at the end)

you were surprised rafe actually agreed to let you go when you brought up your friend’s birthday dinner last month. you’ve been talking about it for weeks now — what you were gonna wear, how excited you were.

now here you are the night of, all dressed up, hair and makeup done, things you rarely have the desire to do for yourself anymore. all you needed was the money rafe promised you. you haven’t worked since the start of the relationship, relying on rafe to pay for everything. it felt like a dream in the beginning, but it’s moments like these when you’re reminded just how dependent on him you’ve become.

your boyfriend hardly acknowledges you as you stand in front of him asking for his card, bag in hand, ready to leave. his eyes are glued to whatever he’s scrolling through on his phone.

“i don’t think i want you goin’ anymore,” the bomb is dropped all too nonchalantly, rafe’s tone laced with a finality that leaves no room for argument.

somehow, you knew this was coming, but hearing him say it out loud still stirs a wave of frustration.

“you’ve known about this for weeks—,”

he cuts you off, speaking over you, “and i changed my mind, alright?”

rafe’s had a long day, he’s still annoyed over some things at work and the last thing he needs is to be sitting here all night wondering who you’re talking to and who’s flirting with you while you’re out.

the dismissal infuriates you, but you just shake your head.

of course he would do this — get your hopes up, make you think that for just once, doing something as simple and innocent as meeting a group of girl friends to celebrate a birthday could be easy.

rafe knew you were looking forward to this, and pulling the rug out from under you at the last minute was just his way of asserting control.

your eyes stung with the threat of tears, and you weren’t supposed to cry tonight. it was supposed to be a good night. as much as you pitied yourself in the moment, anger outweighed it by far.

“fine.” it’s short and snappy, but rafe isn’t bothered by your attitude. when you turn to leave, he assumes you’re going for the stairs, so he doesn’t bother looking up.

until he hears you add on a quiet, “i don’t need your permission.”

you were muttering to yourself, but since he was clearly enjoying toying with your feelings, part of you didn’t care if he heard.

but you should have.

you can see rafe’s head snap up in the corner of your eye.

there’s a pause, rafe raising a brow at what he sees as a challenge.

“what was that?”

you choose ignore him, back turned as you head for the front door.

“what did you just say?” the tall man is already on his feet before he finishes the question, moving towards you. “don’t be mumbling shit if you can’t say it out loud. hey! i’m talking to you,” he raises his voice a bit now, and when you still don’t answer, he’s quick to grab you by the arm and pull you back, “where do you think you’re going?”

“i’m not missing my friend’s birthday.”

you’re only able to pull your arm from his grasp because he lets you.

“you think you’re going out that door after talking to me like that?” he laughs mockingly.

“you said i could go tonight!” you remind him, voice breaking slightly.

“and now i’m saying you’re not going.”

this all just feels like a sick game to you. all you wanted was to spend some time with your friends, and now you’re being treated like a child because your boyfriend changed his mind.

“that’s not fair,” you say as the first tear falls, but rafe just shrugs and turns to walk away.

“no, that’s not fair!” you repeat, louder this time. without thinking, you lunge forward and grab onto his arm, ready to pull him back. rafe whips around the second he feels your hand latch onto him, and in one swift motion, he rips his arm free and shoves you with both hands. the sudden force knocks you off balance, sending you stumbling into the table by the front door. you cry out as a glass dish crashes to the floor, the sound jarring you. it all takes a moment to register, but when you do, rafe is already there, closing the distance in just a few confident strides.

he presses you further up against the table with his body and grabs you by your jaw, yanking your face forward and forcing you to look up at him. he’s towering over you, using his size to intimidate you as he invades your space.

“it’s not about being fair, it’s about doing what i goddamn tell you to,” he spits out through gritted teeth, fingers digging into your skin, “so you can tell your little friends you’re not gonna make it tonight.”

you know your friends won’t be surprised at whatever last minute excuse you give them, that’s what they’re used to. you’re not feeling well, you lost your ID, you forgot you had plans with rafe — they’ve come to expect it at this point…and so have you.

you stare up at your boyfriend through red, teary eyes, and rafe can see it on your face that he’s successfully broken you for the night. he’s satisfied when you don’t speak up, don’t dare to challenge him again.

his thumb reaches up and roughly smudges at your tinted lip gloss, smearing it over your mouth and down your chin. “now go upstairs and take this shit off,” he orders coldly, shoving your face away. you stumble back and regain your footing before turning for the stairs, feeling absolutely defeated.

“…and meet me in the room when you’re done,” he calls out, “think you need a little reminder of who’s in charge here.”

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

Still the same bitch, ain't shit changed - R.C.

possessive exbf!Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

You hadn’t seen him in two weeks. That was a record.

And you were proud of it—proud of the radio silence, the unanswered texts, the fact that your bed smelled like laundry detergent instead of weed and cologne. Proud of the strappy little dress you bought this morning just for tonight. Proud that your lipstick wasn’t smudged, that your hands weren’t shaking. That your voice didn’t break when you said the words out loud: I’m moving on.

But he’s been calling since sunset. Ever since Sarah opened her big mouth and told him you had a date.

You let it ring. Every time.

He’s not your boyfriend. Not anymore. You owe him nothing.

But when you hear his voice at your front door—dangerously calm—you freeze halfway through your mascara.

“Open the fucking door, sweetheart.”

You don’t move. You don’t speak. You don't let him in.

So he knocks again—louder this time. Not a knock, really. A threat.

“Don’t fuckin’ play with me, princess. I’ve got all night. You think I won’t wait right here ‘til that little date of yours shows up? Introduce myself?” He laughs—soft and sharp. “I’m real fuckin’ friendly.”

Your stomach flips. You glance at your phone. Three missed calls. One voicemail. A text: We’re not done. Open the door.

You swallow hard. Grip the edge of the sink.

You don’t open it.

The next knock is a punch.

“Let me the fuck in.”

“Go home, Rafe,” you shout, voice tight.

Another hit. This one rattles the hinges.

“Not until I get what I came for.”

You stare at yourself in the mirror—mascara wand still frozen mid-stroke, lips parted, dress clinging to your body like sin. You should scream. Call the cops. Anything but—

you open the door and see him standing there, hoodie low over his eyes, tongue pressed against his cheek like he’s holding back a smirk—you knew you were fucked.

Literally.

“What the hell do you want?” you asked, already bracing for the unraveling.

Rafe’s leaning against the frame like he owns the place. He looks you up and down—slow, drawn-out. His eyes drag over the cut of your dress, the slope of your collarbone, the gloss on your lips. When he meets your eyes, he’s smiling, but it’s not kind.

“You really gonna go through with it?” he asks. “You’re really gonna let some other guy touch what’s mine?”

Your jaw clenches. “I’m not yours anymore.”

He tilts his head, gaze sharp. “That right?”

You don’t reply. You don’t have to.

He takes a step in without being invited. You don’t stop him. You should stop him. But you don’t.

Rafe kicks the door shut behind him, turns the lock, and walks you backwards—step by step—until your thighs hit the edge of your bed.

His fingers trail up your arm. “You look good, baby.”

You hate the way your heart clenches at the pet name. Hate how fast your body betrays you. He brushes your jaw, tilts it up.

“You gonna let him fuck you?” he whispers, like he’s asking you something sacred.

You glare. “Yeah. I might.”

Wrong answer.

He doesn’t kiss you. He just drops to his knees. Hands slide up your thighs. Slow, reverent. He pushes your dress up without asking and groans when he sees what’s underneath.

“No panties?” His voice is a growl. “You really were gonna let him have you like this?”

You almost moan at the tone.

“I’m not yours—”

“You keep saying that,” he murmurs, mouth dangerously close to your cunt. “But your pussy still tastes like mine.”

Tongue hot and messy, dragging slow over your folds, teasing your clit, dipping inside you before coming back up to suck hard—

“You miss me?” he murmurs against your cunt. “Miss the way I fuck you with my mouth? Huh?”

You nod, fingers clutching the edge of the mattress.

“Use your words.”

“Yes—fuck, yes, Rafe.”

“Louder.”

“Yes—yes, I missed it, I fucking missed it—”

He groans into you, and it vibrates through your whole body. He’s relentless. Messy. Spiteful. He sucked your clit hard, slow, filthy. Pulled back just to spit on you and start again.

“Rafe—” you gasped, shaking, “—you’re gonna ruin my fucking makeup—” You’re so close, thighs trembling, hips bucking into his face—

And then he stops.

“No—Rafe, what the fuck—”

He stands. Slowly. Smirking. His lips are slick. His jaw is tight. His cock’s straining against his pants, but he doesn’t unbuckle. Instead, he pulls the hem of your dress down. Wipes your slick from his mouth with the back of his hand like he’s doing you a favor.

“Go ahead,” he says, voice dark. “Go on your date.”

You stare at him, dazed, ruined. “What—?”

“Go see if he can top that.”

You’re still panting. Trembling. Fucked out with nothing to show for it. You don’t even remember his name—the guy you were supposed to meet.

He walks out without another word.

a/n: for the girls who know they’re not over him and maybe never will be.

MASTERLIST

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

谷 𝁼 𝒈𝒐 ahead ִ and 𝒞𝓇𝓎 𔓕 𝔏𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔩𝔢 𝔊𝔦𝔯𝔩 ᮫ ꒱

そんな無垢な目で見つめるな... 汚したく なるだろう?

# 𝑷𝑨𝑰𝑹𝑰𝑵𝑮 : 𝑌𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝓑𝓻𝓾𝓬𝓮 𝓦𝓪𝔂𝓷𝓮 𝑥 𝐹𝑒𝑚 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 ☆

# 𝑺𝒀𝑵𝑶𝑷𝑺𝑰𝑺 : 𝘏𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥. 𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥'𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳. 𝘏𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘉𝘳𝘶𝘤𝘦? 𝘏𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩 𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦. 𝘖𝘩 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴. 𝘏𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦...

# 𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮 : 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳, 𝘶𝘯𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘺 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘺𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘤𝘴, 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘱𝘴, 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳. 𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘱𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳/𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴. 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘋𝘕𝘐.

# 𝑵𝑶𝑻𝑬 : 𝘌𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘨𝘦.

Bruce remembers the first time he met you.

You were five years old. A tiny thing, too small, too delicate, all bright eyes and soft hands, clinging to his leg like a lifeline.

Your father—one of his most trusted business partners—had laughed, shaking his head.

“She’s taken a liking to you,” he had said, ruffling your hair.

And then, with all the confidence of a child, you had beamed up at Bruce and declared,

“I’m gonna marry you one day!”

The room had erupted in laughter. Your father had chuckled, his business partners had teased him. But Bruce—

Bruce had only smiled.

It was harmless. Just childish innocence.

Or at least, that’s what he had told himself.

You grew up fast.

Too fast.

One moment, you were that little girl clutching his hand at charity galas, giggling when he lifted you into his arms. The next, you were nineteen, standing in his home like you belonged there, a young woman too beautiful for her own good. all soft curves and knowing smiles.

Bruce didn’t know when it started—when his affection for you twisted into something ugly.

All he knows is that one day, he looked at you—really looked at you—and something inside him snapped.

Because you were beautiful.

And it was wrong.

So, so wrong.

And Bruce—he was not a good man.

He tried to be. God, he tried.

Bruce tried to ignore it. He told himself it was natural—a fatherly protectiveness over the daughter of his closest friend.

But a father wouldn’t think about you the way he did.

A father wouldn’t ache like this.

A father wouldn’t watch you when you weren’t looking.

Wouldn’t stare when your nightgown slipped off your shoulder.

Wouldn’t feel his throat tighten when you called him “Mr. Wayne”, your voice so sweet, so innocent, so cruel.

You had no idea what you were doing to him.

And that was the worst part.

You make it impossible.

Because you’re thoughtless. Careless.

You touch him too much. Press yourself against him in hugs that last too long, your fingers curling around his arm, your breath warm on his neck.

He told himself it was innocent. That the way he watched you wasn’t wrong. That the thoughts in his head were just passing moments of weakness—nothing more.

It gets worse when you start talking to him about boys.

You sit on the couch in his study, curled up in one of his expensive leather chairs, talking about your boyfriend problems while he nurses a glass of whiskey, fingers tightening around the crystal.

“Ugh, I don’t know,” you sigh. “Liam’s being so... needy.”

Bruce doesn’t answer.

You don’t notice the way his jaw clenches. The way his fingers tighten. The way his thoughts turn ugly.

You just keep talking.

“He wants to have sex, but I don’t think I’m ready.” You stretch your arms above your head, your crop top rising just enough to show a sliver of your stomach. “I mean, I don’t want my first time to be... disappointing, y’know?”

Bruce stares at you.

His blood boils.

Your first time.

With some boy.

Some child who doesn’t know a damn thing about you.

He hates it.

The thought of your soft little body under some clumsy boy, of you making those sweet little sounds for someone who doesn’t deserve them—someone who doesn’t know you like he does—it makes something inside him snap.

He wants to tell you the truth.

That boys don’t know how to take care of a girl like you. That they’ll use you. That you need a man—someone who can be gentle, who knows how to take care of you, how to teach you.

He wants to say all of it.

But instead, he just takes a slow sip of whiskey and says,

“Be careful who you trust.”

You don’t see the way his eyes darken.

You don’t hear the warning in his voice.

And the worst part?

You ask him for advice.

“Mr. Wayne,” you say sweetly, resting your chin on your palm, “why do men always want one thing?”

Bruce’s jaw clenches. His hands curl into fists under the table.

You don’t understand what you’re playing with.

You don’t see the way his eyes darken when you talk about them. The boys who touch you. The ones who don’t deserve to even look at you.

You don’t understand the filthy thoughts he has when he imagines you with them.

You don’t understand that he wants to ruin you.

Bruce stares at you, at your bare skin, at the way your lips part as if waiting for him to take.

And God help him.

He does.

His hands clench against the couch. He leans in, close enough to breathe you in.

Close enough to claim.

Close enough to ruin you.

He doesn’t remember when he started following you.

Not just in the manor. Not just in his home.

Outside. In the city.

You don’t notice.

Or maybe you do.

Maybe you like knowing he’s watching.

Watching as you go on dates with boys your age—pathetic, fumbling boys who don’t know how to take care of you the way a man like him would.

You always seem disappointed after those dates.

And Bruce tells himself it’s because you know.

You know they aren’t enough.

That they’ll never be enough.

That no one will ever love you the way he does.

But then, one night, he looked at you—really looked at you—and something inside him snapped.

Because you weren’t a child anymore.

You were soft curves and bright smiles and whispers of silk.

And it was wrong.

So, so wrong.

He tries to ignore it.

To pretend that nothing has changed. That you’re still just the daughter of his friend—a girl he has known since childhood.

But you make it impossible.

Because you’re cruel.

You don’t even realize it, but you are.

The way you hug him just a little too long. The way you press against him, your body warm, your scent too sweet, too intoxicating. The way you laugh—tilting your head back, exposing the soft skin of your throat.

The way you call him “Mr. Wayne” in that sweet, teasing voice—like you know exactly what it does to him.

But you don’t.

You don’t understand how dangerous it is to tempt a man like him.

But you will.

Soon.

He thinks about it too much.

The way you look at him. The way you look for him at every party, every event. The way you light up when he pays attention to you.

He shouldn’t.

You’re too young. Too innocent.

He should be ashamed of the way his fingers tighten around his glass when he sees you in those short dresses, the way his breath hitches when you cross your legs, letting the hem ride up—just enough.

And he knows, deep down, that you aren’t doing it on purpose.

That you trust him.

That you have no idea how sick he is.

That you have no idea how long he’s been watching you, how long he’s been thinking about you in ways he shouldn’t.

That you have no idea how badly he wants to ruin you.

It happens late one night.

You’re staying at the manor while your father is away, wandering around in nothing but a silk nightgown that barely reaches your thighs.

And Bruce is watching you.

He shouldn’t be.

But God help him, he can’t look away.

You’re sitting on the couch, knees pulled to your chest, scrolling through your phone, completely unaware of the monster lurking in the shadows.

Then, without looking up, you murmur,

“You’re staring, Mr. Wayne.”

His blood runs hot.

You’re doing it again. Pushing him. Testing him.

You don’t even know what you’re playing with.

“What are you doing up?” His voice is calm. Controlled. But there’s an edge to it, a tension that wasn’t there before.

You stretch, your nightgown riding up, exposing too much skin.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you murmur. Then, you turn to him, eyes dark, playful. Inviting. “But maybe you could help with that.”

Silence.

A long, dangerous silence.

Then, Bruce is in front of you, his hands gripping the couch on either side of your body, caging you in.

“You don’t know what you’re doing,” he says, voice low, deadly.

But you just smile.

And Bruce?

Bruce finally snaps.

It’s not gentle.

It’s not soft.

He grips your wrist, too tight, dragging you forward until you gasp, your balance thrown off.

You fall against him, your body flush against his, and he hates himself for how good it feels.

For how warm you are. For how easily you fit against him.

His breath is hot against your ear, his hands shaking as they hover over your skin.

He shouldn’t.

He can’t.

But he wants to.

So, so badly.

“You think this is a game?” His voice is hoarse, strained.

Your lips part, confusion flickering across your face.

And for the first time, you see it.

The way he looks at you.

Like a starving man staring at his last meal.

Like a man at war with himself, a man who has spent years trying to fight something that was always meant to consume him.

You blink up at him, lips slightly parted.

His breath shudders. His grip tightens.

Then, he’s kissing you.

It’s not soft. It’s not sweet. It’s desperate. A collision of heat and teeth and pent-up want that’s been festering inside him for too long.

You gasp against his lips, and he drinks it in, pressing you deeper into the couch, caging you with his body.

And when he finally pulls back, his pupils blown wide, his breath ragged—

And Bruce—Bruce knows he’s going to hell for this.

But maybe he was always meant to burn.

And maybe you were always meant to burn with him.

© stxrkiss ☆ don't copy, translate or use my works here or any other websites.

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

grimreaper!tom

the grim reaper doesn’t just take souls. he claims them. a dark, lust-filled Tom Riddle where obsession meets damnation. are you ready to give him your soul?

part 1 part 2

he appears the moment you offer your soul. the air gets cold, and the almost imperceptible glow of the candles in the room goes out, as if the light is being suffocated. his presence feels suffocating, feeling as if death is hovering close, its cloak against one’s skin. he comes out of the shadows as if he has been created by them, his face achingly beautiful but cruel. a grin that promises ruin pulls at his lips.

“you called for me,” he says, his voice as silky and dangerous as a blade.  

without thinking you drop to your knees, your heart pounding against your ribs. “please. i beg, take my soul, just save him. i’ll give you anything.”  

“anything?” he laughs, crouching in front of you, his shadow brushing against your trembling form like a lover’s caress. “oh, little mortal. you don’t even understand what you’re offering.”  

but it’s not a request. it’s a claim 

‿̩͙‿‿̩͙‿‿̩͙‿‿̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿‿̩͙‿‿̩͙‿‿̩͙‿

death wears a face of cruel beauty. his voice is silk spun with venom, his touch colder than the grave. but he doesn’t just claim souls—he claims you. and when the grim reaper himself obsesses over what’s his, there’s no escaping. not his shadows. not his desire. not him.

you gave him your soul to save the one you love. but now, you realise the truth… you didn’t make a deal with death. you made a deal with the devil.

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝

more

𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴. 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴. 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘭

[chaoticbanditzdonut]

Yo? Im speechless

Not sorry for loving you- Tom Riddle x Reader - Part 2(final)

Summary; Part two to 'not sorry for loving you', it kinda features Mattheo, (y/n) and Tom's only son) more than the two together but Tom goes down the rabbit whole of dark magic and leaves his family behind.

warnings; angst. so. much. angst, like i kinda cried writing this during certain points. Voldemort, Horcruxes, death, Mattheo hating his dad after a certain point. sad ending, but a little happy-kinda. at least for Tom and (y/n), not for Mattheo.

Fem reader, she/her used.

@serenamultifandom @nyx1021

=

April 15th, 1958, at 3 in the morning-during a thunderstorm no less.

That was the day (y/n) Riddle was told her Husband, her oldest friend, her soulmate; was dead.

She stared in shock-blankly looking at her husband’s friends-all of whom from school, purebloods, who looked back at her in sympathy, and pity; standing in the doorway of her home. “W-what?” she whispered, feeling her world crumble beneath her feet.

“Tom was…attacked, by some dark wizards, ex-followers of Grindelwald…he didn’t make it.” One of them said, Rosier, she thinks she remembers but she can’t be bothered. Her feet are slipping out from under her and another one of Tom’s friends catch her from hitting the floor as she devolves into sobs, her whole body hurting as her heart breaks.

She screams, his name, sobbing, cursing at whatever dark wizard took him from her. One of Tom’s friends brings her back inside, putting her in her bed for her to grieve for her only and first love.

“No-Tom,” (y/n) cries, clutching the pillow he’d used, body shaking with sobs as one of Tom’s friends, without her notice-packs a small trunk with Tom’s clothes, grabbing an emergency bag of galleons that were under the bathroom sink.

“We’ll be here if you need us, or contact our wives-I think they’ll be better help.” Lestrange told her but she only sobbed, feeling like she might die. The group of men left the house, locking the door behind them-making sure the protective runes were up.

They apparated to the hill across from the neighborhood Tom and (y/n) had settled in almost a decade back, walking up to a tall lone figure, cloaked in black-gleaming red eyes locked onto the house that was now full of sorrow. “Here,” Rosier murmurs, handing the figure the trunk and he takes it, swallowing harshly.

“How is she?” The figure, Tom, asked quietly, trying to hide the lump in his throat. He’d heard her screams, her heartbreak and sorrow-thinking he was dead.

“Not good. i…I don’t think she’ll be okay.” Lestrange said, offering the truth and Tom swallowed thickly, looking back at the house-one that was supposed to be filled with love and domestic bliss, and soon children��But not anymore.

“Keep an eye on her, report to me if anything changes, don’t let anything happen to her or I’ll kill you all.” Tom said, coldly, firmly; and his followers nodded, they were first to leave-Tom stayed staring at the house for a few hours longer, until dawn; only then did he leave-seeing (y/n)’s figure in their bedroom, still crying, leaving the bed to go do something.

“Goodbye my love,” he whispered, hoping she’d forgive him for doing this to her-but the further he made Horcruxes, the more he lost his mind-and as selfish as he was, he couldn’t risk another basilisk incident.

He couldn’t risk her life again.

So, he left.

-

“I didn’t even get to tell you,” (y/n) whispers to herself as she laid in bed, unmoving, just as she had been for the last few days. Nothing felt real anymore, food was ash in her mouth, doing anything around the house felt like being weighed down by a thousand pounds.

And most of all, the weight of not telling Tom she was pregnant was crushing her. She’d planned a surprise for him, they were going to go on a date and then come home to a special present that had her confirmed potions pregnancy test.

And now, it was all to waste-Tom would never know he was to be a father. She sobbed again, feeling like her heart was splitting in two, one hand clutching her chest as the other pressed to her lower stomach.

“I don’t know how to do this without you,” she whispered into the air, clutching onto Tom’s side of the bed, which had been empty and cold since the morning he’d left for work. He’d told her he was working on a trade with a client for an important magical item, not giving her details since that was confidential to his work, but he’d promised to be home on time so they could go on their date.

He never came back home.

She lays in bed, rotting into nothingness for days-all until her husband’s friend’s wives-who have sort’ve become her friends from how much her husband was around his friends-all arrive and get her out of bed, get her showered, pampered, fed, and dressed.

“he wouldn’t want you to sulk yourself into nothingness darling, come now, let’s get you out of this gloom.” Malfoy’s wife, Melinia, dragged (y/n) out of the door, leaving a house elf behind to clean the stale home. (y/n) stumbled numbly behind her, her face ashen and blank, her eyes dazed and red rimmed from the non-stop tears.

She let the girls tug her around Diagon Alley, even helping her choose things to make a small memorial for Tom for her home. Along with helping her purchase things for the baby, like a bassinet and clothes. “thank you,” (y/n) whispered, her voice shot from so many days of crying and the girls hugged her tight.

“We’ll be visiting every day to make sure you’re doing enough to survive. It’s hard losing a husband, I remember my mother going through it, it’s not easy but you’re not alone darling.” Melinia cooed softly, brushing her hands down (y/n)’s face and she sniffled, wiping her face as another wave of fresh tears flooded her eyes.

“Thank you,” (y/n) said again, her voice cracking as she was hugged again.

She went home, and it took another week before she began to clean on her own again, not having to force herself or use a friend's house elf. She still felt empty, lost, but she knew Tom wouldn’t want her to rot away, she had to take care of herself, for him, herself, and their baby.

It took a month before she felt strong enough to go to a pregnancy check-up, getting a scan-the baby was healthy, even through her grief. She’d know the gender after she entered her 2nd trimester.

She thankfully still had money flowing into her vault, so she wasn’t in danger of becoming homeless while pregnant. Though, as a gift, one of Tom’s friends, Abraxas Malfoy-the peacock boy from so many years ago, had paid for her house bills for several years-easily able to afford it; just to ease her mind a bit more.

His first son, whom he would name Lucius, was set to be born soon, only months before (y/n) and Tom’s baby would be born, so it was planned the two would be friends.

The months moved slowly, even the summer felt grey and lifeless. Life without Tom felt worthless, she still felt like she was split in two, one half of her aching for Tom-reaching into the darkness of death-screaming for death to give him back. The other half of her was empty, accepting her loves death with a heavy heart, feeling lifeless and weak.

Even so, through the dreary months-Tom still felt so…close by, like he was wrapped around her, in her dreams it felt like he was there, holding her hand and drying her tears-whispering that she was going to be okay, that she wasn’t alone.

The feeling of his arms around her would linger when she woke up, the feeling of his love clinging to her chest.

She sat up slowly in bed, wiping the tears from her lashes, sniffling softly. She turned her gaze to the picture that sat on her nightstand, their wedding photo. She sniffled again, kissing her fingers and then pressing them to Tom’s happy face in the photo before standing, grunting a bit as her very pregnant belly made that hard.

She went about her morning routine, casting a few charms to get the house clean and breakfast made. She sat down at the kitchen table, rubbing her belly softly. Their son was due any day now, and she was anxious, excited, and terrified all at once.

Would he survive? Would she survive? Would they both die? There was history of death during childbirth in Tom’s family-only his mother from what she remembered but still, it was a terrifying thought.

Only hours later, her water broke, and labor had begun. She called Melinia who got to her house right away and got her ready to give birth-the midwife arriving at the house as contractions got closer apart.

November 13th,  1958, Mattheo Thomas Riddle was born; named after his father- Marvolo to Mattheo, and Tom’s first name as the boy’s middle name.

As she looked upon her crying newborn son for the very first time-she felt the chains that had kept all her emotions locked up break, devolving into sobs as she took the tiny babe into her arms, holding him so close. “Hi, my baby,” (y/n) sobbed as the baby boy curled up into her, calming as he felt his mother’s touch and heard her voice. “I’m going to take care of you, and make sure you know how much your daddy would’ve loved you.”

Across the country, in the forests of Greece, Tom Riddle felt his beloveds joy of the birth of their son; he held his pale hand to his chest, swallowing thickly-he’d been informed of his wife’s pregnancy soon after he had faked his death, after she’d finally told his followers about it.

He’d never felt so much regret as he did in that moment, and now.

He should be there, by her side. He should’ve been there to see their son being born, he should be there to help raise him. But he knew he couldn’t go back now, he was officially dead in the ministry's eyes and his mind was slowly slipping away the longer he searched for his next Horcrux-the Ravenclaw Diadem.

“They’re better off without me,” Tom murmured to himself, continuing on his journey, all the while wishing he could be with his wife and son.

-

The days were still hard without Tom, but having Mattheo helped (y/n) regain a bit of life back, her days were filled with loving him, caring for him, and watching him grow. He was the spitting image of his father from that age-and (y/n) would know, having known Tom since she was only a few months old.

However, while Mattheo looked like Tom-his personality was all (y/n). he was a kind boy, with a big smile for everyone to see, he brought home animal after animal, many having to be released but some (y/n) let him keep-like the garden snake he named after his father’s old stuffed snake; Basil(which Mattheo did sleep with, adorably), a baby rat, an orphaned screech owl(which would eventually become his Hogwarts owl), and eventually a Maine coon kitten that Mattheo had found in a gutter during a storm-the poor thing sick with a lung infection, (y/n) helping her son nurse the kitten back to health, allowing him to keep it after the kitten got attached-following both Mattheo and (y/n) around the house.

The kitten was named Tom.

-

He grows too quickly for her own tastes, she remembered growing up being such a slow process-waiting for each birthday to come around-but now that she’s older, now 41, she’s already sending her only son to Hogwarts, his owl and cat ready to go with him. “Bye mama,” Mattheo said, his face buried in her shoulder as she hugs him just as tight, kneeling in front of him as his trunk was put into the luggage car.

“Bye baby, I love you. Make sure to write me as soon as you can-tell me what house you’re sorted into.” (y/n) said softly, kissing the 10-year-old boys’ temple, waving slowly as he boards the train-waving back to her as it leaves.

“I love you mama! See you at Christmas!” Mattheo yelled out the train window and (y/n) followed as long as she could before it left the station, (y/n) left behind, alone again after 11 years.

“See you soon,” (y/n) murmured softly, standing at the end of the platform for what felt like hours before returning to her empty home.

-

Mattheo wandered the corridors of Hogwarts-the morning after he’d arrived. He’d been sorted into Slytherin, just like his father, and he was proud of it. He was now wandering the castle, looking for anything about his father in the school-his mom told him that there was an award for services to the school from their 6th year, and in their last three years-pictures were taken of the groups of prefects and the head students.

He bumped into a tall lanky figure cloaked in black-stumbling back and looking up at him-his eyes widening. “Uh-sorry,” he stuttered out, looking at the pale man-his red eyes just barely visible under the man's hood. “Scuse me.” Mattheo said, moving around the man-hurrying down the hall.

The pale man, his father-now going by Voldemort-stared after his now 10-year-old son, his chest aching with the desperate need to hug him, to know him. He only knew Mattheo through his followers, and yesterday-before Mattheo had left the house-Voldemort had watched his son get ready to leave for Hogwarts.

His son was the spitting image of him, and his wife was even more beautiful-even with the lines of grief on her face. Because of him.

“He’s a Slytherin like me,” Voldemort whispered, before shaking his head-knowing he couldn’t stay. He left the castle, having come what he’d planned to do; hide the diadem in the room of requirement and he’d also cursed the DADA teaching position.

Once crossing the apparition point by Hogsmeade, Voldemort went to the Malfoy manor, where he knew he’d be welcomed. He passed through the gates with a flick of his wand, being met with Abraxas who’d sensed someone entering his grounds.

“M’lord!” Abraxas said, his arms open wide, and Voldemort allowed the hug, it had been 11 years after all. “Abraxas,” Voldemort said, his voice raspier than Abraxas remembered. “how have you been?”

“Quite well m’lord, Lucius just left for his first year at Hogwarts-he and your son Mattheo are good friends as well.” Abraxas said, inviting Voldemort inside, the two paused in the main foyer as Voldemort overheard a voice he’d ached to hear for 11 years now.

“The house just feels so empty again now, I’m…not sure what to do.” His wife's voice echoed from the nearby lounge room, Voldemort floating towards it like he was drawn to it on a taut string. Abraxas followed close behind, the two peeking through the doorway to see (y/n) sitting with Abraxas’ wife in the lounge, both drinking some tea, Melinia offering her a plate of biscuits.

“I almost perfectly understand how you feel darling, without Lucius running around causing a ruckus, the house feels so quiet and large.” Melinia sighed, dipping a tea biscuit and taking a bite.

Voldemort gazed at his wife, she was still wearing her rings-her hair a bit sun bleached from days in the sun watching Mattheo play junior quidditch, her face lined with gentle age and grief, but no less beautiful than the last he saw her.

He’d marry her again if he could.

“I just miss him so much,” (y/n) whispered, heartbreak still clearing her voice, like tears were in her eyes-she’d always felt her emotions so strongly. “it’s like he’s still with me sometimes, like he’s watching me from beyond. I just wish I could…reach for him, bring him back.” (y/n) said, staring down at her tea as Voldemort swallowed thickly, taking a step back, hand pressing to his chest; his heart beating hard-painful.

He turned quickly, heading further into the manor until he reached Abraxas’ office, catching himself on the desk, clenching his eyes shut as he breathed heavily and rapidly.

Oh how terribly he wanted to hold her, to tell her he was still there-that he was right here. But he couldn’t, he’d doomed himself to a life away from her, a life of lying and only keeping eyes from the shadows. He’d never get to see his son grow up, or freely love (y/n) again.

He locked eyes with himself in a nearby mirror, his jaw clenching, teeth sharp and eyes gleaming red-his face deforming away from the beauty it once had. He snarled, slamming his fist into the mirror, shattering it.

“Tom!” Abraxas yelped and he was instantly silenced by a stinging hex-Abraxas covering his mouth as he stood up straight again, watching Voldemort heave for breath as he took a shaky step back from the shattered mirror, blood dripping from his fist. “M’lord?”

“Protect her with your life. No one goes near her, if even a hair on her head is touched-I’ll make sure your bloodline is in ashes.” Voldemort hissed, turning his scarlet gaze to his closest follower-the only one he considered a friend. “The same goes for my son.” Abraxas swallowed thickly, nodding.

“As you wish M’lord,” he said quietly and then Voldemort left, he couldn’t be here at the same time (y/n) was, the need to be at her side too powerful to ignore for long.

-4 months later-

(y/n) took the morning daily prophet paper from her owl, Ingrid, giving her a treat and the owl happily went to her perch to enjoy the treat while (y/n) untied the twine from around the paper so she could read it.

The front page instantly caught her eye.

Muggle family murdered!

Oh-well-that wasn’t good. She swallowed hard, sitting down to read more detail. Murdered by dark wizards, found by muggle police, neighbors report seeing a bright green blast inside the home the night before but had assumed nothing of it other than an electrical problem.

 The reason why this family had been murdered was unknown, but said to be the work of dark wizards, possibly ex-followers of Grindelwald. The very thought sent a shiver down her spine-remembering the night she was told Tom had been killed by one of Grindelwald’s men. She covered her face for a moment, breathing down the fresh set of tears that wanted to pour out.

It had been just more than 11 years since that day, and not a day went by that she didn’t hopelessly miss Tom, sometimes even dreaming of him walking through that door-hurt but alive, with that charming smile. He’d hug her, kiss her, make all her hurt go away-just like he had since they were babies.

Oh, how she missed him.

She set the newspaper aside, heading outside to the garden, where a memorial for Tom had been set for about 10 years now-she hadn’t had the strength to do it till Mattheo was a year-she knelt down in front of the gravestone, a picture of their wedding set at the base-their smiles bright and so hopeful for their future.

“Hi Tommy,” she whispered, spinning her engagement ring around her finger, the black stone stark against her silver wedding band. “i…I really don’t know how do to this without you still…Mattheo just went back to school after winter break, I gave him one of your old books from when he was your age-he really liked it. He still wants to know everything about you,”

(y/n) swallowed thickly, one of her hands wringing at the back of her neck. “I still really miss you,” she continued softly, her voice wavering. “it hasn’t gotten any easier, eleven years without you, and I still don’t think I’ll ever be over it.” She felt a lump in her throat and hiccupped around it, tears brimming in her eyes. “I love you so much Tommy, I wish I could’ve protected you, like you always protected me.”

Voldemort watches from the edge of the property-the runes allowing him to enter without setting them off, as he was the one to cast them in the first place. He ached to comfort her, to tell her he was alive-that he heard every word.

But he couldn’t.

He chose to leave her, to save her from his growing madness.

“I miss you too (n/n),” Voldemort murmured, apparating away.

-

(y/n) was glad Mattheo was at school most of the year, and all those dark wizard attacks were far away from her town, because they were getting scary. Rumors were that dementors had fled from ministry control to join a growing dark wizards army; along with Giants and werewolves. Discriminated creatures, so whoever was behind all this, was smart. And that was what was most terrifying, a smart villain, was a very dangerous one.

It had been seven years since the first incident believed to be the result of Death eaters; The cult-like following of the new dark wizard that had been on the rise; Voldemort.

The name, was oddly familiar, like she’d heard it, or read it before-but she couldn’t recall where.

(y/n) sighed to herself, running her hand over the back of her neck, setting down the newspaper. Things were getting dangerous, Auror recruiting was growing desperate-and her son had decided to become on, not only to protect others-but to avenge his father’s death caused by dark wizards.

Mattheo was the spitting image of his father, though with a few extra scars on his brow and nose due to some fights with his classmates, and while (y/n) was extremely worried about him becoming an auror-she couldn’t be prouder.

It helped that Mattheo was a very very powerful wizard, having studied dark magic to make powerful counter magic, even tapping into natural magic and learning forbidden arts such as abyss magic-even creating a spell that cast a shadow of darkness in his surrounding era-an effective tactic because once cast, no light could be seen or used, only allowing Mattheo sight within the darkness.

He was a force to be reckoned with, and (y/n) almost pitied the death eaters for when Mattheo would encounter them for the first time once he finished auror training. (y/n) looked at the clock, the Hogwarts Express was soon to arrive at Kings Cross station, Mattheo coming with it after finishing his final year at Hogwarts.

(y/n) stood, grabbing her house keys and wand, heading straight to the train station. After stepping onto Platform 9 and ¾’s with other parents, she waited for the Hogwarts Express to arrive. The hairs on her neck suddenly stood up, a harsh beating suddenly pounding in her chest. She looked over her shoulder, seeing a figure, cloaked in black, staring at her. He was barely visible in the shadows, a red gleam coming from under his hood.

Even though she felt high on alert-she didn’t feel…in danger, no it almost reminded her of when Tom would spook her by accident when they were young, usually sneaking up on her while she was distracted. Her brows furrowed, swallowing harshly as she felt her chest grow warm-a strange ringing in her ears as she turned towards the figure.

They tensed up, and when she blinked-they were gone.

(y/n) looked around, but could not find the figure again, turning to the tracks as the Hogwarts Express arrived.

Voldemort let out a low sigh, hiding behind a pillar now, his hand on his chest. “Too close.” He whispered to himself, ignoring the flutter he felt in his chest. She had seen him, not completely but she had looked right at him-and through the Horcrux within her, he’d felt her curiosity, her familiarity.

He looked around the pillar again, his gaze softening as he watched Mattheo leap off the train-the boy was now a young man, 17 now and as tall as he was, with a mop of curly dark hair on his head and bright brown eyes, a big grin on his face. (y/n) had done so well with him.

“Mama!” Mattheo said with a beaming grin, engulfing his mother in a hug-(y/n) laughed and hugged him; patting his back warmly. “Hi baby! How were your last few months of school?” (y/n) asked, the two walking to the luggage car to grab Mattheo’s trunk and his Owl cage, Tom the cat comfortable in Mattheo’s shoulder bag-even if he was too big for it really.

“it went pretty well, as you know I aced all my NEWTS, Slughorn even got me an in for the Auror academy.” Mattheo said with a grin, grabbing his trunk from the station worker, setting it on a trolly with his other smaller trunks that had his schoolbooks. (y/n) smiled and nodded, walking beside her son as they left the platform.

Voldemort froze up a bit, hearing his son’s ambition to become an auror, no doubt due to the lie that he’d been killed by dark wizards-leading Mattheo to want to avenge him.

“Shit.” Voldemort hissed, following his wife and son from behind, making sure they got home safe before heading back to the Malfoy manor. “My son wants to become an Auror.” Voldemort hissed as he walked into Abraxas’ study-thankfully alone.

Abraxas looked up from his paperwork, swallowing harshly. “ah, yes, uh, Lucius informed me of that-it’s been his ambition since he was told about…his father's demise at the hands of dark wizards.” Abraxas said, slightly awkwardly, since Mattheo’s father was alive-not well but alive.

Voldemort sneered with a huff. “it will not do, I cannot have my son be on the front lines-of danger-against me. I cannot protect him from my army, I cannot tell each and every one that he is to be unharmed-things will happen too quick-I cannot lose him! I cannot let (y/n) be alone again.” Voldemort rambled, pacing the length of Abraxas’ office.

“With all due respect m’lord…I don’t think you could stop him, and from what I heard from Lucius-he is very powerful, and has even adapted to old forbidden magic, like Abyss magic.” Abraxas said, summoning Dobby to go get Lucius.

“Abyss magic? Not even I could understand that,” Voldemort said, his scarlet eyes going wide. “How?”

Lucius entered the study, his spine going straight at the sight of Voldemort. “Uh-I was requested father?” Lucius said, walking further into the room. Abraxas nodded, waving his hand towards Voldemort.

“Tell him all you know about Mattheo’s magical studies,” Abraxas said, and Lucius swallowed, wringing his hands.

“Of course, uhm, he was top of the exam board for NEWT’s, and has rediscovered forbidden magic-Abyss magic and old natural magic-like earth and wind magic-he can do it wandless too.” Lucius said, looking away from Voldemort.

Voldemort had the strongest sense of pride in his chest, his boy was so powerful-he hardly needed to worry about him. But still-his son would become an auror without a doubt, and be against him. Voldemort drew out a long low sight, running his hand over his face.

Auror training took three years to complete, but from the minimal knowledge of his son-as well as Mattheo being his son in general, there was a chance of Mattheo graduating from the academy early, facing off against Voldemort’s forces earlier than he’d be prepared to protect Mattheo from them.

“What of his other skills?” Voldemort asked Lucius, who told Voldemort about Mattheo’s impressive skills on a broom, along with his high physical capabilities, having not only trained his mind, but his body-to be able to defend himself if he was separated from his wand.

Voldemort slowly nodded, cupping his hand over his mouth, his eyes narrow in thought.

He had time to plan.

And plan he would.

-5 years later; October 31st, 1981.-

(y/n) woke up to the feeling of being stabbed except she wasn’t. She gasped for breath, shooting up in bed and nearly toppling to the floor, it felt like she’d been split apart, like someone had shot her through the chest-the pain reverberating through her again and again till she was moments from passing out.

“uhgh-“ (y/n) hissed, clutching her chest as she attempted to stand, grabbing her wand from the dresser beside her bed, sending off her patronus to her son-who quickly arrived.

“Mom!” Mattheo gasped, his auror cloak flying behind him as he rushed into the house, finding her on the floor of her bedroom. “Mama-are you okay?” Mattheo asked softly, helping her up and she shook her head, breathing heavily.

“No-“ (y/n) choked out, it felt horrible, the pain going through her felt the same as when she was told her husband had been killed-except more intense and like she was being murdered instead. Mattheo frowned deeply, helping her sit on her bed, kneeling in front of her.

“What's wrong? What hurts?” Mattheo asked his mother, rubbing her arm as he looked up at her, his chest aching at the thought of his mom hurting and him unable to help her.

“I don’t know-it just-hurts.” (y/n) whispers, eyes clenched shut as her head began to swim, she clutched her head, feeling like she was going to puke. Memories flooded her mind-ones she should’ve recognized but didn’t.

She walked down a Hogwarts corridor, she was 15 here, looking for Tom. She heard his voice just down the corridor, finding him with his friends. “did you see that mudbloods face? Hilarious!” she heard Rosier’s voice laugh out, Tom’s laughter joining it-higher and crueler than she’d ever heard it before.

She stopped just after the corner, watching and listening to Tom smirk and laugh about a cruel prank that had been played on a muggleborn student, a new student-a first year. His legs had been locked by a curse, and he’d fallen-breaking his nose and wrist, blood all over his face as he cried.

She could never imagine Tom would laugh over something like that, or even be involved in such cruelty. “That was a great idea Tom, what's next? Giving the Hufflepuff mudbloods boils all over their faces?” Avery sneered and Tom smirked-then he saw her and his eyes widened.

Before she could even speak-his wand was up and pointed at her-his friends leaping back.

“obliviate!”

-

She was sitting on his bed, 16, bored out of her mind. She glanced at his dresser, knowing he kept his diary in there and she looked around the dorm-he was out getting snacks, so she sat up, unlocking the drawer and pulling out his diary-reading. She found pages about her of course, but she also found strange research about the darkest arts-about things called Horcruxes, about the fabled chamber of secrets and how he planned to use it.

Tom Marvolo Riddle = I am lord Voldemort.

Her breath caught at the sentence she just read-looking up at the door as it opened-Tom’s eyes widened, his jaw clenched tightly-fear in his eyes and then his wand was drawn-pointed at her.

“obliviate!”

-

She stepped into the girl’s lavatory-gasping as she saw the dead body of a Ravenclaw girl-her eyes then caught the reflection of two giant serpent eyes-and then saw Tom-screaming her name-rushing towards her.

She woke up-asking him why he’d been in that bathroom with a dead girl and a giant deadly snake-he swallowed hard-staring at her with fear, of losing her. Then he raised his wand.

“Obliviate.”

(y/n) breathed heavily, tears brimming in her eyes-that’s not how it happened! That’s not what she remembered! But it felt so real-like that was how those memories really happened. But why did the memory charm only  break now? Magic only died out when the person who cast it died, and Tom had died over two decades ago now-so why now had her original memories returned to her?

Her heart stopped-the memory of Tom’s diary page coming to the surface.

Tom Marvolo Riddle = I am Lord Voldemort.

“No,” (y/n) breathed out, her hand covering her mouth, the need to throw up growing intense.

He lied to her.

-

The news of Voldemort's death had spread quickly, but (y/n) felt emptier than ever-like she was a walking corpse. He’d lied to her, all those years alone-all the years at school-he’d lied.

Why? Why fake his death? Why leave her alone? When he promised he’d never do that? Was their love a lie? Their marriage a lie? Why did he leave?

Mattheo watched his mother from the other room-she was unresponsive, staring blankly at the wall in front of her. “Mama?” he whispered softly, moving to sit next to her, taking her hand. “Mom, are you okay?”

Her lip wobbled and she closed her eyes, and it broke Mattheo to see his mother-who’d been so strong for his whole life-break down like this. He wrapped his arms around her and she turned into him, sobbing into her son’s shoulder.

Mattheo continued to try and ask what was wrong, but (y/n) never answered him-she had no clue how to tell him the man-her husband-his father; was not the man they thought they knew.

Mattheo eventually had to leave to help start wrangling up Voldemort’s forces, telling his mother that if she needed anything then he’d be there. (y/n) nodded slowly, watching her son leave the house.

She sat on the couch for what felt like hours, before getting up-and heading to Malfoy manor.

She stormed inside, Melinia greeted her but (y/n) blew past her, heading straight for Abraxas’ office. “You knew!” (y/n) screamed at him-her magic blasting furniture away-including Abraxas’ desk. He stuttered, holding up his hands-backing up as she cornered him. “you knew! You knew everything!”

“i-i-well-you see-he’s very intimidating-“ Abraxas stuttered and (y/n) yanked his cravat, tears streaming down her cheeks but that didn’t make her any less terrifying. “yes-yes, I knew-but he forbade me from telling you! I’ll tell you everything now-just-let me explain.”

(y/n) glared at him, wand in her hand-poking into Abraxas throat. “Start. Talking.”

From there, Abraxas told her everything. From their school years, to every moment Tom had manipulated her memories, so she’d never discover what he thought she’d never love, to why Tom faked his death. “He was scared that he’d hurt you, and at that point there was no going back so…he asked us to fake his death-I’m sorry (y/n).” Abraxas murmured, (y/n) now sitting with a heavy drink in hand, her hand pressed to her forehead.

“He didn’t even try to talk with me-he didn’t even try.” (y/n) said, her voice cracking as she clenched her jaw, tears dripping into the rug. “He just left. All our years together and he just left.” She sobbed, dropping the glass and covering her face-her grief turned anger rebounding back into horrid sadness, aching sadness that pounded in her chest and made her bones hurt.

Abraxas sat next to her, slowly wrapping his arms around her in what he hoped was a comforting hug. “I apologize for my part in all this, he still did love you,” Abraxas mumbled and (y/n) clenched her jaw, shaking her head.

“But he left.” (y/n) sobbed, wiping her face. “if he loved me-he would’ve stayed, or tried to, or-just-talk to me.” (y/n) whispered, feeling like she’d never known Tom at all-which was a heartbreaking feeling, since she’d known Tom since before she could remember.

“He abandoned Mattheo and I, he left me alone-he promised he wouldn’t-he promised to stay.” (y/n) sobbed, curling up on herself as Abraxas rubbed her back, unsure what to say-after all; even though Voldemort had kept an eye on his family-he’d still left, he still had lied to them and made them think he was dead.

(y/n) had thought she married her childhood best friend, someone she knew the very best.

But perhaps she hadn’t known him at all.

-

It took almost two years for (y/n) to tell Mattheo the truth, and watched him explode into anger. “He was Voldemort all along?! He lied to us-we grieved for him-we cried for him-I wanted to be just like him-and he was fucking Voldemort the whole time?!” Mattheo cried out, his face turning red as his eyes brimmed with angry tears. “I hate him! I fucking hate him!” Mattheo cried, covering his face as he shook with anger and grief-hating the man he’d looked up to his whole life. “He left us-he just left-he didn’t even try to see me-he was alive this whole time and he never came back.”

(y/n) wrapped her arms around her son-who clung to her as he cried, feeling like he was a child again-emotions running high and uncontrollable. The hurt they felt, felt like it would never go away-the betrayal too great.

Tom’s memorial in the garden was taken apart the next day, the wedding pictures put into the attic and (y/n) took off her wedding rings for the first time, locking them away with the wedding pictures.

She closed the chest with a heavy heart, locking the love she still felt for Tom Riddle away with the memories they shared.

-11 years later-

(y/n) jolted awake, a strange strangling feeling overtaking her body, gasping for air as she rolled over in the too large-too empty-bed. “Fuck-“ she choked, putting her hand to her chest as her bones ached-a splitting headache almost overwhelming her.

The last time she felt like this-was when…she got up from bed, looking out the window of her home, searching the sky. It seemed extra gloomy today, like something dark had settled over the land.

She swallowed, drawing the curtains closed as that pain in her chest eased, but dread had replaced it.

-

Rumors of the dark lord's return were vehemently opposed by the ministry-calling Harry Potter, the boy who had originally killed Voldemort, ‘the boy who lies’-tarnishing the teens name. “After so many years practically worshipping him, poor thing,” (y/n) murmured, setting down the newspaper, sipping at her tea.

The hairs on the back of her neck suddenly stood up, a pounding in her chest and a ringing in her ears interrupting her breakfast. She slowly stood, following the dreadful feeling, to her front yard. In the street was a figure, cloaked in black-a pale familiar wand in hand, casting something on her house.

She had half a mind to get in his face-to demand answers, but she was too scared, after all; this was definitely not the man she once loved and knew.

She caught a glimpse of scarlet eyes before the man disappeared-she left the house, examining whatever magic was put on the house.

Protective runes, the very same ones Tom had put on the house decades ago.

She felt a lump in her throat, heading back inside, her hand lingering on the doorway.

Why did he have to be so…confusing.

-early 1997-

Harry pulled away from the memory-it was one of Dumbledore’s memories from many years ago, June 13th 1943 to be exact-the night of Moaning Myrtle's death. “What’s the chamber of secrets?” Harry asked Dumbledore, who explained the lore of the chamber and then moved on.

“Tom Riddle opened it in the 40s, I believe to resume Salazar's goal of purging the school of muggleborns, but something stopped him-something more than the school closing.” Dumbledore muttered, stroking his long grey beard.

Harry frowned gently, crossing his arms. “What do you think it could be?” Harry asked and Dumbledore returned his gaze to the memory that continued to shimmer on the surface. He withdrew it, grabbing for another, putting it into the pensive.

June 14th, 1943.

Harry dunked his head into the memory; black shadows taking form as the memory played. It was the hospital wing, everything older than what Harry had remembered-he turned, seeing Tom Riddle; who he now knew was Voldemort thanks to Dumbledore’s reveal before they had dove into his memories, sitting by a hospital wing bed, hunched over it actually-clutching the hand of a petrified girl-her face stuck in shock-wearing her pajamas under a black robe.

“I’m sorry-I’m so sorry,” Tom whispered to the girl, looking up at her-his stoic face from the last memory wet with tears, flushed with desperation. “please, don’t hate me.”

Harry turned, seeing Dumbledore further enter the hospital wing and Tom heard him-quickly turning away from the younger visage of the not yet headmaster, who came to a stop at the end of the girl’s bed. Tom sniffed, wiping his face-not looking at the professor. “Is there something you need professor?” Tom asked, his voice not the cool tone it was in the last memory, but broken and raspy.

“Only to make sure you’re all right Tom, a loved one being in danger cannot be an easy thing to deal with.” Dumbledore said and Tom huffed, clutching the girl’s hand tighter.

Harry felt like he’d seen her before, but unsure where.

“She’ll be okay, she has to be.” Tom muttered, staring at the girl’s face and Dumbledore hummed lightly, his gaze locked onto Tom.

“Yes, the mandrake draught should be ready in only a few days. Now Tom, how did you find miss (l/n) again?” Dumbledore asked and Tom swallowed, his shoulders tensing ever so slightly.

“I was on patrol, I happened across the girl’s bathroom-she was in the doorway. Frozen.” Tom muttered, his hand reaching to brush against the girl’s frozen cheek. Dumbledore hummed again, stroking his beard. “Ms. Warren’s body was also in that bathroom.” Dumbledore said, Tom’s shoulders tensing further.

Harry knew Tom was responsible for Moaning Myrtle’s death, because there were too many clues pointing him to it along with Dumbledore's very logical theory, plus only Salazar's descendants could open it, so Tom clearly had something to hide from past Dumbledore-such as why he ‘hadn’t’ seen Moaning Myrtle's body.

“She must’ve been deeper in the bathroom-away from the door, I didn’t see her.” Tom said, looking at the girl again, moving his head down to rest on her hand. “I didn’t care much for anyone else at the moment, I’d move the heavens for (y/n).” Tom admitted quietly, and for once-Harry believed something Tom Riddle, young Voldemort, said.

He was pulled out of the memory, looking at the present silver-haired headmaster Dumbledore. “He stopped using it for her,” Harry said quietly, and Dumbledore nodded.

“(y/n) (l/n), or as she’s now known, (y/n) Riddle. They grew up together at wools orphanage, I believe knowing each other at only weeks old-he’d crawled into her crib when she had been crying, or that’s what I was told by the caretakers. I can truly believe that she is the only person in the world he truly cared about. I quite remember when they had been sorted into separate houses-young (y/n) had cried and young Tom had brought her a chocolate pudding, sitting at her Hufflepuff table.” Dumbledore said, reminiscing on the innocent days of Tom Riddle.

Harry furrowed his brows, clicking his jaw a bit with a huff. “Do you think he still cares about her? Even after going all…mad dark lord?” Harry asked and Dumbledore, to his surprise, nodded.

“Throughout the first wizarding war-(y/n)’s home that she once shared with Tom was heavily guarded, both through spells and by death eaters. War never reached the town she lived in-and where she and their son went-danger never followed. I believe he kept his eye on them, even as he furthered his plan; for love is a hard thing to break.” Dumbledore said wisely, fetching another memory for Harry to see.

Harry saw several memories of Tom and (y/n); Dumbledore first meeting them, their Hogwarts sorting, the two were always close, holding hands-never straying far from one another, the fights Tom got into for (y/n)’s honor. They were thick as thieves and as close as two people could get.

Tom looked at (y/n) as if she was the most important person and thing in the world. Harry wondered when that changed-he wondered why Tom would give up such a beautiful love with (y/n) for power and dark magic.

“Do you think she could know what the Horcruxes he made are?” Harry asked Dumbledore after extracting from the memory again. By this point, they’d already gotten the real memory from Slughorn.

“I don’t believe so, he kept her in the dark of all his plans and wicked ways, possibly scared she wouldn’t love him anymore if she knew. She is a kind soul, thankfully passed down to their son Mattheo, so Tom might’ve thought if she knew-she would’ve left him. And that is what Tom fears the most besides death, abandonment.” Harry slowly nodded at Dumbledore's words.

But perhaps, asking her anyway would prove fruitful.

-April 1998-

(y/n) looked up from her kettle as a rapping at the door caught her attention. She furrowed her brow-turning off the stove and heading to the front door-opening it to find three teenagers, looking worse for wear. In the front was none other than Harry Potter.

(y/n)’s eyes widened. “you shouldn’t be here,” (y/n) whispered, knowing there could only be one reason the three were here. They knew. “We need to ask you some questions, about…Tom.” Harry asked and (y/n) sucked her bottom lip into her mouth before letting out a low sigh.  She did not invite them inside-having a feeling the wards would go off and alert ‘him’ to the passage of Harry Potter in her home.

“Come, the gardens are un-warded.” (y/n) said, leading them around the back of the house, casting a charm to hide the backyard from any spies or watchful death eaters. She went inside, getting water, tea, and making sandwiches-her heart aching at how hungry the three looked. “So…what do you want to know?”

(y/n) asked quietly, resting her hands in her lap. Harry looked at his friend with wild curly hair, she hesitated before bringing a purple wrap bag from her lap, taking out several items.

A cup and a locket. Seemingly regular items other than the fact that they were clear magical items-a badger on the golden cup and a snake on the locket. (y/n) narrowed her eyes at them and then looked back up at the three teens, who seemingly expected some sort of reaction from her.

“And you show me these things why?” (y/n) asked and Harry sighed, asking her if she knew what Hocruxes were. (y/n) paused, swallowing thickly before nodding. “Only by name, I saw notes in his diary forever ago, when we were still kids-I only glossed over them, but I think I remember something about soul fractures. He saw me reading the diary and manipulated my memory so I wouldn't remember discovering it. I only remembered when he first died, 16 years ago.” (y/n) said softly and Harry nodded.

“We believe he made more than just two, possibly seven. Do you…have any idea what the others could be?” Harry asked and (y/n) gently picked up the locket, setting in her palm. It grew warm to the touch, quickly feeling the warmth of his love flood through her-a ghostly touch drawing down her arms, lips on her cheek. She set the locket down.

“It’s, Salazar Slytherin's locket, correct?” (y/n) asked, her voice a bit weak from the onslaught of confusing feelings. Harry nodded, the girl said the cup was Hufflepuff's cup. “He’s always been one to collect things, sentimental things that mean a lot to others-or to himself. He stole treasures from other kids at the orphanage, especially if they hurt me…” She took a short breath at the memory of Tom protecting her at the orphanage, giving her gifts that belonged to the other kids. “If He did make more-they would be, important to him, things he either cherished or wanted to make his own.”

It hit her then and she stood-telling the teens she’d be right back. She went right upstairs, into the attic; finding the dust-covered chest and unlocking it, finding the Gaunt ring.

She felt that same feeling the Locket gave her-but more powerful, like the soul fracture inside was larger than the lockets.

She returned downstairs, handing the ring to Harry-who instantly heard a ringing in his ears which confirmed it to be a Horcrux. “Yes-this is one of them.” Harry said with a relieved grin, looking up at (y/n), his grin dropping when he saw the look on her face, her hand to her chest.

“That was the ring he proposed to me with…he got it just after he left to see his father and uncle…” she had a faint memory of seeing a newspaper about a rich muggle family being found dead-a wizard named Morfin Guant being held responsible.

She also had the very faint memory-more like a feeling-of Tom kneeling over her, putting something inside her, something glowing…something that was heavy in her heart and clung to her soul. “I think he made me the first one.” (y/n) whispered-much to the shock of the three teens, who stared at her in horror.

She understood it now, she’d nearly died from the basilisk, he’d panicked, he put his fractured soul in her-making her his first Horcrux, to protect her soul, if she was killed-his soul would die first.

Allowing her a second chance.

“He’s such an asshole,” (y/n) whispered to herself, covering her eyes as she rested her elbow on the garden chair arm. Harry gave her a curious look but she didn’t say much more.

She was a horcrux, she had Tom’s 2nd horcrux since it was created, and he’d made more. She remembered Tom’s books were still packed away and excused herself again, finding ‘the secrets of the darkest arts’ book within the chest and bringing it back outside, reading through it till she found the Horcrux page.

“Horcruxes are created through fracturing the soul through murder, but to create a true Horcrux, one must physically pull out their soul through a potion-one that is incredibly hard to make. It is a painful process and if done more than once-the wizard creating the horcrux could lose their mind.” The girl, Hermione, read from the book, looking up at her friends. “it doesn’t provide any information on how to destroy one.”

Harry and Ron both groan-it’s clear they’d tried to destroy the two Horcruxes they had for weeks, months now. “Because they’re not meant to be destroyed,” (y/n) murmured, eyes glazing over the chapter again. “Once the soul is input-the object becomes invulnerable, effectively chaining the soul to earth.”

It was quiet for a long few minutes before Harry asked her another question. “If you could guess, what would another Horcrux be?” Harry asked-since they now had, and knew of four Horcruxes-the cup, the ring, the locket, and (y/n).

“If he started collecting founders' items to be Horcruxes, I can only guess he attempted to finish the set. Possibly something from Ravenclaw, and maybe tried to get something from Gryffindor, but I don’t think he’d be able to get the Gryffindor one, as the only one I’m aware of is the sword. As for Ravenclaw, there are tales of the lost diadem of Rowena Ravenclaw, he mentioned one year of us going to Albania for an anniversary; before he faked his death and disappeared…it’s possible he could’ve found it, made it a Horcrux.”

(y/n) murmured, her eyes distant as she attempted to tap into the thinking process of her husband. “Where would he hide it?” Harry asked, leaning in towards her, and at that, (y/n) shrugged. “It’s not here, I was only given the ring, and I can’t exactly leave without myself so…maybe at the school-it was our first home.” (y/n) muttered, rubbing her chin, then sighing, standing from the garden table.

“You three should go, before there’s a chance someone sees you.” (y/n) said, sending off the teens with water bottles and food. “wait-can we take the ring?” Harry asked before they left the garden, and (y/n) hesitated. She knows she should give it to them, they were hunting Horcruxes, and she couldn't very well hand over the fracture that was within her, but she feels…conflicted. Because even after all the years, she still loves him.

“i…don’t think I can, I’ll…I’ll destroy it on my own, figure out how to sever the one attached to me as well.” (y/n) murmured and Harry frowned slightly, but with a smack from Hermione he nodded, stepping back. “Thank you, (y/n).” Harry told (y/n) and she nodded, heading back inside as the three apparated away.

(y/n) shut the door and closed her eyes.

She was a horcrux, a fraction of Tom’s soul had been latched onto hers for over 50 years, and she could only find one answer for why he’d done so.

He was scared to lose her.

The only question now was…did he still feel that way?

-May 2nd 1998-

The battle of Hogwarts was in full throttle-Mattheo Riddle battling against Voldemort’s forces with swift vengeance-not holding anything back as he cast curses, hexes, and took down death eaters with a few well-placed wandless non-verbal blasts, rocking the earth and sending dark creatures tumbling off the cliff side.

His own army of Auror's were behind him-the well-trained group beating back the death eaters-the Auror's, physically trained, overpowered the death eaters-but not without losses.

Dementors raced towards the castle, Mattheo whirled his wand around-summoning his patronus, blasting the creatures back for miles, another powerful Patronus aiding him. He took a heaving breath, he was far from exhausted-but he was definitely feeling the strain.

“Hey!” Mattheo turned a bit when he heard someone yell over the chaos-seeing Harry Potter’s friends looking right at him. He cast a shield to block a curse, heading to the two teens. “What?” Mattheo ducked under a hex, getting the two behind a wall.

“Do you know how to destroy Horcruxes?” The girl asked, holding up a bag that had several odd items within. A cup, a diadem, and a locket. Mattheo frowned-how did they know what Horcruxes were?

Mattheo knew because he’d gone heavy into his father's research that was still at the house-which he’d kept a lot of there, including his diary, finding everything, including how to destroy a horcrux. “It varies but something that is magically corrosive, or destroys everything it touches. Like fiendfyre.” Mattheo said, keeping his eyes all around-looking for any death eaters wanting to attack while they were distracted. “Or basilisk venom, but how in the hell would anyone find that on short notice? fiendfyre is your best option.” Mattheo said, quickly getting back into the battle as more death eaters invaded the school.

The first half of the battle went on for what felt like hours, dawn just barely beginning to break when Voldemort called his forces back-allowing for Hogwarts to heal their injured and gather their dead-Mattheo lugged one of his comrades into the great hall and towards the healers that were working tirelessly.

He set his friend down, looking around for something to do-something to help with.

His eyes caught onto a familiar face-and his heart stopped.

...

“Mama?” he whispered weakly, his hands dropping to his side as he walked towards the dead bodies that were being put into lines for easy identification. There she was, his mother-his mom. His light, his strength, his reason to fight. Just lying there, cold, pale, unbreathing. He fell to his knees, shaking hands gently cradling her as he knelt over her. “Mama? Wake up-“ he begged, tears dripping onto her face.

She was unresponsive-he begged again-shaking her slightly. “No no-mom-please-no I’m not ready-please mama.” Mattheo begged, wrapping his mother in his arms-holding her close. “mama please-I still need you .” He cried softly, tears dripping onto her shirt-she’d come to help fight against Voldemort, her husband, his father.

“You should’ve stayed home,” he sobbed, feeling like his world was breaking beneath him. He pulled back a bit, looking at her face, peaceful in death. He remembered every soft smile, every lullaby and dinner, every homemade birthday cake.

“I’m not ready.” Mattheo sobbed, laying down with her on the cold ground, his head resting on her shoulder-tears soaking her cold skin.

He laid there for what felt like hours but was only maybe a few minutes, he knew he couldn’t lay there with her-there was still a battle to be won. A new fire burned within him-vengeance for his mother-not just against his father, btu for whomever killed her.

Mattheo would tear them apart with his bare fucking hands.

He looked back down at his mother, kissing her forehead-quickly noticing that she was wearing her wedding rings, including the damned engagement ring-the Gaunt ring. His father’s ring. He took them off-debating destroying them but they were still his mothers. He pocketed the silver ring-but took the gaunt ring outside, casting fiendfyre at it. The band cracked-a blackened smoke coming out of it but it did not attack-only hovering in front of Mattheo before dispersing.

Mattheo swallowed harshly. A bloody Horcrux. The only thing left was the stone-mysteriously not touched by the fiendfyre. He picked the thing up, went back into the castle-giving it to Harry as he passed him. “The ring is destroyed.” He muttered, going back to his mother's side.

Harry stared, swallowing down the lump in his throat. Five horcruxes down, possibly two to go.

-

-

-

-

-

-

(y/n)’s eyes fluttered as blinding light pierced her eyelids, she felt as if she was floating-suspended in nothingness. She opened her eyes, she was in nothingness-beautiful nothingness. Pearlescent colors swirled around her, mixing with the blinding white that shimmered around her. She moved in that colorful nothingness, looking down at her hands, they were shiny-iridescent. Her skin was glowing, and her hair was too. She felt lighter than air, free of burden and grief. Her chest felt light for the first time in 50 years.

“Where am I?” (y/n) murmured, her voice echoing across the nothingness.

A voice answered back, calm and deep-slightly familiar, if only to comfort her. “The in-between.” It answered, the colors moving, the figure not visible really-but there. “In-between where?” (y/n) asked the voice.

“In-between life, and death.” The voice answered and (y/n) let out a short huff, her brows furrowing lightly.

“What about the Horcrux?” She asked and she felt a mental nudge to look ahead of her-so she did-there in front of her, was the soul fracture. It was perfectly in half, she reached out, cupping it in her hands, bringing it close. Tom’s soul-from when they were 16. “What happens now?” she asked the voice.

“You have a choice. Stay, or move on.” The voice said and (y/n) knew exactly what it meant. Stay on earth, go back to her body-the horcrux had anchored her soul to earth after all, allowing her a second chance if she wanted it. Or move on, go to the afterlife.

“Is he going to die soon?” (y/n) asked the voice and it hummed in confirmation. “May I wait for him?”

“…you may.”

With that-the presence was gone and (y/n) was alone. She looked through the nothingness, finding more fragments as she explored the white shimmers. Four more pieces-all smaller as they went on. Each one fit perfectly together.

Piece by piece-she was rebuilding Tom’s soul.

Another appeared-jagged, shaped like a lightning bolt. It fit perfectly into the middle, only two pieces missing-small and jagged. She waited, and waited, and waited-she didn’t know how time passed in the in-between, but it felt like years passed, decades maybe.

But finally-the last piece appeared-she connected it to the rest of the soul-only the smallest fracture missing. She let go of the mostly reconstructed soul and a figure appeared in the nothingness-but what appeared before her was not Voldemort, it was Tom. Older than she ever saw him, grey and black hair, late 60’s like her, face lined with age and body tinner.

He looked around-confused-he expected death to be far more…horrifying, especially after all he’d done. He turned-seeing her and his eyes, deep brown once more-widened. “(y/n)?” He whispered, falling to his knees in the nothingness, staring at her-his body was glowing like hers-tears that glowed streaming down his cheeks.

(warning blatant use of lyrics from Epic; Ithaca saga.)

“Is it really you?” (y/n) whispered, slowly making her way towards him. Was he really here? Or was she having some sort of dying dream? “You look different,” she was closer to him now, her hand reaching out to his face-he leaned towards her-not once taking his eyes off her-looking moments from breaking down. “Your eyes look tired, your frame is lighter…” Tom let out a weak huff, a grim smile growing on his face. “Your smile torn…is it really you, Tom?”

(y/n) asked softly and Tom cupped her hand between his, lowering it away from his face-looking shamefully down at his lap, bowing his head to her-knelt before her. “I am not the boy you fell in love with.” He admitted, his voice quiet, a sad acceptance. “I am not the one you once adored. I am not your kind and gentle husband,”

Even so, he held her hands with such tenderness, speaking to her so softly.

“And I am not the love you knew before.” Tom took a deep breath, looking up at her, his gaze weak-but begging, hoping somewhere, she’d still find it in her to love him. “Would you fall in love with me again if you knew all I’ve done? The things I cannot change-would you love me all the same?” He was revealing it all now-the side he’d hidden from her-all because he’d been so scared she wouldn’t love him.

Could he ask her now, so many years later-in death together-if she would love him, despite it all. “I know that you’ve been waiting….waiting for love.” He whispered quietly, bowing his head again, holding her hand still.

“What kinds of things did you do?” (y/n) asked as she knelt in front of him, holding his other hand, she just wanted to hear him stay it, to finally tell her-no lies, no manipulations, just honesty.

That’s all she wanted.

Tom took a deep shaky breath, looking away from her. “Left a trail of blood on every doorstep, I traded friends and followers like objects I could use-hurt more lives than I could count on my hands-but all of that was to guarantee a long life for us.” He swallowed hard, looking down again, letting go of her hands-hands that he thought were too good to touch his.

“So-tell me-would you fall in love with me again if you knew all I’ve done? The things I can’t undo-I am not the man you knew. I know I’ve left you waiting, waiting so much longer than you ever deserved.” Tom said weakly, his head bowed to hers. Her hands withdrew from him, swallowing hard as she looked down at him.

“If that’s true-“ (y/n) mumbled, standing-stepping away from him-his hands chased her-looking up at her desperately now. “Then I don’t suppose there's a reason for me to be here.” She mumbled, looking around the nothingness-she knew she could go back-go be with her son, who she knew would be devastated at her death.

“NO!” Tom roared, leaping upward and forward, latching onto her. “No-you can’t-don’t leave me! I cannot bear to be without you again-I have suffered all these years-being away from you-faking my death was the stupidest thing I have ever done-I should’ve come back to you-our son-right away.  I threw away my whole life with you-I am a selfish selfish man- so selfish that I sabotaged all your adoptions-I manipulated your memories so you wouldn’t be scared of me-I lied to you-I nearly killed you because I was so greedy that I killed a girl to make a stupid Horcrux.”  Tom babbled, tears bubbling down his cheeks-this realm made everything spill out of him, every motion he felt was tenfold.

“Don’t leave me-“ Tom begged, burying his face in (y/n)’s legs, tears hot against her thighs. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, or your love-but I cannot bear to be without it.”

(y/n)’s hands landed on his shoulders, drawing his attention up to her, she was crying, shaking as her jaw clenched tightly. “I hate you.” she whispered, her voice wavering as Tom’s eyes welled with more tears, his breath catching in his chest. “You lied to me, so many times, you hurt others because of me, you hurt me with your greed-you left me; When I was pregnant, when I needed you most. You left me alone to raise our son alone-you let me believe you were dead-you let me raise our son to hate you….”

Tom swallowed harshly, turning his face away from (y/n), his arms loosening from around her legs. “But…I cannot help but still love you.” he looked up at her-eyes wide as tears spilled down her cheeks. “I will fall in love with you-over and over again, I don’t care how where or when-no matter how long it’s been you’re mine. Don’t tell me you’re not the same person-you’re always my husband and I’ve been waiting for so long-just waiting for you to come back to me.”

(y/n) said-tears streaming down her face, collapsing into Tom’s arms as he held her tight-his own tears flowing free as they embraced for the first time in 40 years. She pulled away only slightly-looking at him and then their lips met. The nothingness around them turned pure white-Tom’s soul whole-allowing him to move on beside her.

She took a deep wobbling breath and Tom stared up at her-breathing heavily. (y/n) looked down at him, giving a smile-the smile he’d missed for so long.

“And I’m done waiting-because you’ve finally come home.”

When the light faded-(y/n) and Tom were met with the visage of their home, it looked clean, untouched. “How long has it been?” (y/n) asked softly, Tom’s arms wrapping around her from behind as he basked in her warmth and beauty-a feeling he so desperately had missed. How foolish he’d been all these years.

“Forty years.” Tom murmured, he’d left her in 1958, now they were reunited in death, 40 years later-1998.

“I love you.” (y/n) whispered, looking up at Tom, admiring his aged look, a look she wished she’d been able to see grow naturally. Tom smiled down at her, brushing her hair back, admiring her aged beauty. “I love you too,” he whispered, the two holding each other tightly.

-

-

-

-

-

Mattheo looked down at his fathers, Voldemort’s body-scarlet eyes open in death. Behind him, Hogwarts was celebrating the dark lord's death. Mattheo kneeled next to his father's body, gently closing his eyes, placing his mother's ring into his pale hand, closing it. “Say hi to mom for me…dad.” He whispered, his throat closing as he spoke. He sniffed, standing and wiping his face. “I wish I could’ve had you around.”

He turned on his heel, heading back into Hogwarts. Voldemort’s body was left there for all to see-the dark lord was dead, for good this time. When it came time to take bodies, Mattheo took Voldemort and his mother’s bodies-Harry Potter stopping anyone from stopping Mattheo from taking Voldemort.

“He’s his father, allow him to bury him beside his mother.” Harry said to the Auror's.

Mattheo went home, his childhood home-where’d he’d grown up. His mother’s presence in the house was still warm, even without her. In the backyard, he made two graves, right beside each other, under the willow tree he’d planted with his mom twenty-something years ago.

He found his father's rings in Voldemort’s robe pockets, and slid them onto Voldemort's fingers, doing the same for his mother’s ring on her finger. He buried them, and enchantments quickly regrew the lush moss beneath the tree. With a wave of his wand, flowers bloomed, and the tree was made their gravestone, carved into the bark.

Tom Marvolo Riddle & (y/n) (m/n) Riddle.

Father, husband. Loving mother, devoted wife.

May they rest in peace and find each other in the afterlife.

“Goodbye, mom…dad.” Mattheo whispered, kneeling in front of his parents’ graves, tears slipping down his cheeks.

-end-