changeling-eater
changeling
keeping an open mind. making the best of it.
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Armageddon
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the mould is becoming inescapable. now that you live together she will surely notice it. in corners and in bed, in the bath, in the fridge. and if she notices? if it exposes you as filthy, disgusting, doomed? the mould is become escape.
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constant screaming inside
momentary screaming outside
if we don't die together we have to live together
I hope we die
I hope we die
I hope I die
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I am getting better,
Which means I am getting worse.
My body swells and crests,
Fluid, meaningless,
My organs are battered by the waves.
My reflection is scattered across my being,
Every segment an illusion,
Every bone an uncertainty,
Every ripple a call to destiny.
My body drops, appearing shores
Before the tsunami.
It can't be outrun.
I hover,
and
I crash.
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OPENED THE WINDOWS TODAY. HAD TO LET THE SMOKE OUT. I DONT KNOW YET WHAT GOT IN
Weird Spider Thingy is Disapointed in You.
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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let me love!!!
let me be peaceful and gracious, let me be accepting and kind, let me be a warm water pot an egg can simmer in, warm, taken care of, not a crunch of shells away from a cold shoulder. let me have control of my mind and my body and my actions, let me see them as my own, let them be my own. let me let anger and hatred pass me by!
I can feel my face hardening, grooves in all the wrong places. let me carve smile lines into my cheeks!
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I'm hungry,
I eat and eat and eat
myself,
fat runs off me
under the shower head.
I look in the mirror
(for once).
I'm weak, so weak,
they're jealous.
I crumble on the pedestal,
into grease and lumps
and my heart,
shrunken.
Shrinks.
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my ribs have turned into bruises!
my wrists creak and whine like a fence in the wind!
my vision sways and my head follows,
someone concedes, "you look frail,"
I take it as a compliment!
I don't recognise myself in the mirror,
I take it as a compliment!
sometimes I think I'm dying,
the fence starts to fall apart,
shaking,
splintering.
scattering.
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AS ABOVE!!!!!
SO BELOW!!!!!
as above, so below.
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turns out
we are all alone
your body is a home you curl up in
when it's cold.
open your bones! let it in
lest it overwhelm you.
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when I was diagnosed, I cried myself to sleep wondering what I'd done to deserve it. why the universe would do this to me.
now I know never to doubt her again. my curse has become my blessing. a solid path forged ahead by many, of beauty and then death.
the sickness is a toll I am happy to pay. you have to want it to get it. this is my destiny.
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The Void has been doing nothing but take recently. Take take take. It took my headphones, precious and expensive, my phone, my septum piercing right out of my body. Its taken me away from a friend or two, hidden me out of sight. Are we friends or foe? It protects me, stealing my elf bars regularly but never the nicotine free ones. But it isn't fair to force change. When will it give? When will it give? When will it give?
Or is it a pseudonym for a thief in plain sight?
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I come from the moon, where I made the flowers grow!
I've made my peace. Nothing can be done.
Never lose faith in the moon!
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