chainedbychoice

[chainedbychoice]

@halfdeadsacrifice

[chainedbychoice]

((I think I might do a mass unfollowing except for the people I know still want to write with me and also don't have any ties with the people that trigger me.

I have to do it for my mental health and to make it more enjoyable for me again...

If you noticed I unfollowed you and you actually still wanna stay in touch I will still be open to write with you but either as non mutual or on discord (just DM)

I am really sorry. I don't think there is any other way of me ever coming back here except for deleting this blog.

But I kind of don't want to do that because I still like Curumë and writing despite my depression making it almost impossible to do so is still my passion.))

[chainedbychoice]

((I just can't help it. Every time I go back here I just feel unhappy knowing that nobody cares about this character and now I've been away for a few months it's just gotten worse.

I miss having more people to write with but ... At the same time when I go here I feel like it won't happen anyway.

And then this website constantly triggers me with people I don't want to see in my dash and I am unable to get away from.

I miss Curumë and I miss the feeling of just being here without obligation and looking at a minefield and feeling inferior as hell....))

[chainedbychoice]

You know how I feel about your portrayal 🩷 Curu is complex and well-constructed, and I love that you're willing to explore all aspects of his morality

((Thak you friend. <33 I am just so happy that we are roleplay partners and that I got to know Vigor as well. I love their dynamic so much even though I haven't really written anything recently thanks to depression. :') But I am also so glad you appreciate my exploration of morality and themes!! Its my bread and butter as a writer XD))

[chainedbychoice]

WHAT LOW ACTIVITY & SLOW REPLY MEANS:

it means i want to be here, i really do 

it means that i have, whether i like it or not, more important things to do than roleplay at the moment

it means that replies are going to sit for a moment

WHAT IT DOESN’T MEAN:

that i care any less

that i don’t want to talk / plot with you

that you aren’t allowed to IM me or ask for my disco

Sometimes Tumblr has to take a back burner, and that’s fine! Roleplay will still be here when we get back. So take that day to yourself. Don’t worry about drafts. Don’t worry about how “slow” you are being. Everything is okay!

[chainedbychoice]

beep beep how’s my portrayal ?

[chainedbychoice]

Eldrian (wounded in the haunted forest)

The art was made based on his history. After a war and a capture Eldrian finds himself in the haunted forest protected by the witch/wizard after he escaped feverish and wounded.

Made with low quality of color pencils, but I still think it's not that bad 🤔 maybe in a year or two I'll redraw it to see if it looks better.

[chainedbychoice]

"You’re like… my favorite person to get in trouble with. I don’t want to do it with anyone else." (probably very drunk tiefling boy xD and getting his ass into more trouble, feeding the elf with material to tease him with)

Curumë's lips curled into an amused smile. He sat across from the Tiefling, legs crossed, arms folded before his chest, his eyes drinking in the inebriated clumsiness of his forced companion.

"We haven't even gotten into any serious trouble yet, little Tiefling," he said, completely sober and leaning forward to close the gap between them.

[chainedbychoice]

[chainedbychoice]

World Building HC #1

((I also developped Curumë's World a bit more, if I don't write him in the Forgotten Realms setting / the sword coast. More specifically the country he is from. And I have so many new lore updates! Most of them I created while rping with @halfdeadsacrifice on discord.

They give me so much inspiration! And I love corrupted Vayu & Curu so much, I wish I could show you all our thread there it is SO GOOD.

I might post it to AO3 as a RP Fic (got the permission) but yes. Here is some more background info and lore on Curumë's Country, although it is all still a WIP))

https://fish-hearing-c49.notion.site/dremere-1afde65380a28026a563f86a33546054

[chainedbychoice]

DnD Update

((I want to give you guys some campaign updates because I haven't written much about DnD (or anything at all) here but so many things happened.

I think one of my last posts were about Curumë freeing himself from his contract and "saving" his friends at the cost of their memories of him (his choice from the three options he has been given)

Ever since he has grown very differently from Roleplay!Curumë. He has build a friendship with our Cleric, who is the only one he told about his loss, and has been very depressed.

He can't go back to his old ways, he has lost everything he held dear, but since it is Curumë he doesn't give up and instead focuses on protecting the party -- the only thing he cares about at this point.

This has led to both arguments, especially with our reckless, hero-complex fighter and our Wizard who is in the process of being consumed by the Tome she found much earlier on in the campaign.

He also received a pair of magical daggers that came from the shadow plane and needed to be newly enchanted because else they would cause shadow titans to break free there.

Which leads me to our current session, the one we had yesterday, in which Curumë and the rest of the party were approached by those shadow elves who wanted us to perform the ritual or give up the daggers.

Now here is the character change: Curumë would have given up the daggers rather than drag his party into more danger just for his own gain, but the party actually convinced him they needed it for their main quest (defeating fake gods posing as dragons, something Curumë doesn't care about).

He also had a heart to heart with Cleric, which caused their bond to grow but also raised new problems as Cleric is currently going through the reverse arc (corruption arc) and wants to turn Morwyn into a god -- even if she doesn't want to -- something Curumë heavily opposes to of course and he left telling him he'd stop him if he tried.

Anyway, fun fact, we went to the shadow plane and we infused the daggers so Curumë's weapons became stronger, HOWEVER.

Our Cleric is appareantly a whump fan without knowing it because he went to our DM in private messages after Curu had that whole talk about not wanting anyone to die because of him and told our dm

to kill one of our PCs. xDD And HE TRIED. The Shadow Titan did 30 damage in one turn, but we lived anyway.

Of course when he said that I got over my social anxiety and also messaged our dm because I agree it would be a great angsty narrative beat. :' D Look at the message below and the Smiley our DM reacted with... :'DDD

I feel our sessions are going to get very angsty LOL (and honestly i like it : ' DDD ))

[chainedbychoice]

PINTEREST QUOTES WITH POTENTIAL

ASSORTED SENTENCE STARTERS pulled from various quotations I have seen on Pinterest while creating boards for my muses.

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

❛ Who’s a heretic now? ❜

❛ If I stay here, trouble will find me. ❜

❛ What’s it like to be so free? ❜

❛ I watched the whole world fall apart. ❜

❛ I am teaching myself how to be free. ❜

❛ The only solution is to stand and fight. ❜

❛ There’s something tragic about you. ❜

❛ You were never a saint. ❜

❛ To be a woman is to perform. ❜

❛ l speak in verses, prophecies, and curses. ❜

❛ Now I know what I was born for. ❜

❛ There’s a light in all of us, trying to get free. ❜

❛ There is nobody innocent here. ❜

❛ Look who’s digging their own grave. ❜

❛ Come a little closer, if you dare. ❜

❛ Family defines you, even if it demands sacrifice. ❜

❛ History does strange things to dead women. ❜

❛ I can’t believe the things I’ve done. ❜

❛ Hubris is a bitch. ❜

❛ It’s all in your head. ❜

❛ I keep my visions to myself. ❜

❛ We could be heroes. ❜

❛ Take my hand, and I’ll protect you. ❜

❛ Open your eyes. This is the revolution. ❜

❛ I am so much more than they told me I was. ❜

❛ Let me be your muse. ❜

❛ I’m not just a pretty girl. ❜

❛ Your fear of looking stupid is holding you back. ❜

❛ I wish I could be the perfect daughter. ❜

❛ I am not who I was before. ❜

❛ I won’t just be a puppet on a string. ❜

❛ If I can still breathe, I’m fine. ❜

❛ Straighten up, little soldier. ❜

❛ Am I a monster, or a victim myself? ❜

❛ This isn’t the way normal people live. ❜

❛ Your impression of me is wrong. ❜

❛ I wish I could let all this anger go. ❜

❛ I wasn’t born to be soft and quiet. ❜

❛ If I hadn’t fallen, I wouldn’t have met you. ❜

❛ Maybe there’s a hero in me after all. ❜

❛ I am happy anywhere that I can see the ocean. ❜

❛ They should be terrified of you. ❜

❛ I have seen the future. ❜

❛ Let go of the illusion that it could’ve been different. ❜

❛ My father is a good man. ❜

❛ I went to war with myself for you. ❜

❛ I care too much in a world that cares too little. ❜

❛ If it makes you happy, then it’s not a waste of time. ❜

❛ Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes. ❜

❛ You make everyone around you feel seen. ❜

❛ If you feel nothing, then why are you shaking? ❜

❛ Let’s run somewhere far away. ❜

❛ You carry your last name like a burden. ❜

❛ You are at war, even in your dreams. ❜

❛ We met for a reason. ❜

❛ I designed my own catastrophe. ❜

❛ You and I are the same thing. ❜

❛ Never let another soul tell you what to fear. ❜

❛ I have always loved the sea. ❜

❛ I didn’t say I liked it — I said that it fascinated me. ❜

❛ You will never be forgiven. ❜

❛ No one ever really dies. ❜

❛ Your son is gone. ❜

❛ Death must exist for life to have meaning. ❜

❛ Your mouth is full of white lies. ❜

❛ Loving me is a death sentence. ❜

❛ There is a thunderstorm inside of you. ❜

❛ Beauty is a weapon. ❜

❛ You haven’t even seen my bad side yet. ❜

❛ How do I stop the guilt? ❜

❛ I am a victim of introspection. ❜

❛ Love is what gives me strength to survive. ❜

❛ There is nobody innocent here. ❜

❛ You’ve seen too much too young. ❜

❛ I am not of mortal men. ❜

❛ Tell me what it’s like to conquer. ❜

❛ I like who I’m becoming. A lot. ❜

❛ I don’t believe in promises anymore. ❜

❛ Parents kill more dreams than anybody. ❜

❛ You are woven into my veins. ❜

❛ You are a diamond. They can’t break you. ❜

❛ I must not hope. I must not cry. ❜

❛ It’s no wonder that you can’t sleep — you’re haunted. ❜

❛ You are made of destructive magic. ❜

❛ You are so unique. ❜

❛ I myself am a haunted house. ❜

❛ You comfort others with the words you want to hear. ❜

❛ You’ll find love, kid. It exists. ❜

❛ You talk like a book. ❜

❛ You are one of God’s few mistakes. ❜

❛ I’m not capable of saving you. ❜

❛ Curiosity often leads to trouble. ❜

❛ I have crossed oceans of time to find you. ❜

❛ I can do this. Even if I can’t, I have to. ❜

❛ I can’t go back there! ❜

❛ Forests have secrets. It’s practically what they’re for. ❜

❛ Can you remember who you were? ❜

❛ Are you proud of who you have become? ❜

❛ I see in you an old soul with young eyes. ❜

[chainedbychoice]

((I finally drew the boy again. :3c))

[chainedbychoice]

((ok I'm sorry for asking this, but can you like this post if you actually are still interested in my stuff?

I am testing the waters of coming back but tumblr still makes me feel stressed out and unwelcome the moment I look at my dash... :') ))

[chainedbychoice]

( a collection of drunken confessions dialogue prompts. adjust phrasing as necessary.) feel free to make edits to better suit your muse, but please don’t edit or add on to the original post <3 if you like, please consider supporting me through tips

"You know, I always look for you in every crowd. Even when I pretend I don’t care, I do. So much."

"If I fall off this roof, it'll be your fault. Because you keep making my heart do stupid things."

"You know, I only came here tonight because I heard you’d be here. How ridiculous is that?"

"No, no, you don’t understand. I would actually choose you over fries. And I really love fries."

"I might regret this after the hangover, but right now, I need you to know that… being with you feels like home."

"This is probably just the drinks, but if I don’t say it now, I might never. You mean everything to me."

"You’re like… my favorite person to get in trouble with. I don’t want to do it with anyone else."

"I only come to these late-night study sessions because I know you’ll be here. Pathetic, right?"

"I know this isn’t the place, and I might not even remember this tomorrow, but… I like you. Like, a lot."

"The real reason I never bring anyone else to these things? Because they’re not you."

"I’ve had enough of watching you talk to everyone else. Maybe I want all your attention tonight."

"I might be a little tipsy, but I’m not too drunk to know that I want you… in a way I probably shouldn’t."

"I don’t want this night to end. I don’t want this moment to end, because I’m not ready to leave you yet."

[chainedbychoice]

((Still on my mini hiatus. Not feeling confident to come back yet. But on a positive note I feel a bit better about my writing. Offer for discord still stands! Still nothing is dropped.))

((tiny life sign from me: This blog is not dead, I am still here, but mostly roleplaying on Discord at the moment because of

a) Depression being very bad for me right now

b) Feeling inadequate with my writing and intimidated of posting it here...

If you want to write with me currently, add me on Discord (tell me who you are when you do though!)

Discord Handle: dead._dove

When I'm feeling better I'll start posting more regularily here again. Nothing is dropped on my end!))

[chainedbychoice]

@halfdeadsacrifice

— a word to my lovers (via thatantisocialbitch)