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Beyond Our Control

One of the realities of caregiving - one of many - is that we are not in control. Each day seems to bring uncertainties. Our plans and expectations can be so easily upset. Our priorities can quickly change.

Instead of struggling...stop! Trust! God is in control. Every situation. Every detail...is in his strong and steady hands. Not yours or mine? Be assured...and re-assured. Trust! It’s your wisest option. Perhaps your only option. Expect a new beginning. Our doubts and uncertainties are meant to open the door to God’s intervention.

When the heart asks “why”, our Tender Shepherd says “Follow. I have your best at heart.” When the road ahead seems rough and unsure, rest. He will make the way clear.

“I need you, Lord”, is not a sign of weakness or despair. It is the plea of an open, trusting, expecting heart.

Photo courtesy of Ken Jones, copyright 2018

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Soft Answers

Caregiving has its rewarding experiences. The work you’re doing has lifted the spirit of the one you are caring for. And you feel a sense of warmth and bonding. This is a good day. A day to cherish.

Then there are those times when your best efforts are met with a simmering resistance. A time when a single spark of anger can so quickly erupt into an emotional firestorm, burning both you and your loved one in its wake.

Is there some emotional “fire-retardant”? Some “water” to put out the flame?

“A soft answer turns away wrath”, the wise collector of Proverbs wrote many years ago. (Proverbs 15:1) Newer translations call it a “gentle” answer. And something deep in each of us knows the wisdom of those words.

“Soft” or “gentle answers” have to come from outside the firestorm. It may mean taking a deep breath to allow our LORD who is the Prince of Peace to quiet emotions and control a fiery defense. Or recognizing my loved one’s anger is born of frustration or discouragement. Or a moment of prayer, asking for a “soft” answer to “turn away wrath.” For we all know the truth of the rest of the proverb: “a harsh word stirs up anger”. And each “soft answer” strengthens our ability to respond with a “gentle word” in the next firestorm.

LORD, in the emotional storms of today, give me the inner peace to speak gentle words. Amen.

Photo courtesy of Ken Jones, copyright 2018

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When Winds and Waves Obey

“Don’t you care that we are about drown?” That was the question Jesus’ friend asked him. You can hear the panic in their voices. And Jesus didn’t attempt to explain away their panic. There was no “Don’t worry, men”. No irritated “Why don’t you trust me?” No “How many times have I rescued you”?

Instead of addressing his friends, he spoke to the storm. “Peace. Be still.” And, in the simplest of terms, Scripture tells us that “the winds and the waves obeyed his voice.”

Whatever the panic you may face today, whatever your personal “winds and waves”, whatever in life is “out of your control”,

…whatever stirs your deepest fears, our Lord promises “Peace. Be still.”

It’s not pushing away your fears, or minimizing the seriousness of your concern. It is facing the concerns, and standing in quiet amazement as our Lord speaks to your deepest storms. First…allowing him to quiet your inner storm, then…bring the exterior winds and waves under his control.

May the peace of God be with you today.

Photo courtesy of Ken Jones, copyright 2018

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Peace for Today

No matter what you may face today, God has promised you inner peace. Probably…you’ve already begun making mental lists. Sorting the things that have to be done from those you’d like to take care of. And bracing yourself for today’s unexpected challenges.

Wait! Take a deep breath…or two. Quiet your thoughts and your heart. The pressures of this day won’t go away. But you can face them from a place of inner peace. Remind yourself of this:

You’re not alone. Our comforting God is with you, supporting you.

When you are tempted to respond in haste or frustration…pause for a moment and let God quiet the storms you will face today.

Help me, O Lord, to draw on your peace and guidance today. Amen.

Photo courtesy of Ken Jones, copyright 2018

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The Best Medicine

Every once in awhile you can feel that the life of the one you care for is slipping away. You’d do anything to slow that process, to see life and health restored. If there was just something - anything - to reverse that process. If, in the round of daily medications there was one prescription that could lift spirits.

There is! But you can’t get it at the pharmacy. This prescription was written years ago in the pages of Scripture.

“A glad heart makes a cheerful countenance”. (Proverbs 15:13) Then, just two verses later, the writer says, “a cheerful heart has a continual feast.” (15:15) And then, once more, “A cheerful heart is a good medicine, but a downcast spirit dries us the bones.” (17:22)

First, find the things you do that you can laugh at. Caregivers need a merry heart. Then laugh together with the one you care for. Encourage him or her to tell old stories, things that lift the spirit. Smile at even the smallest encouraging signs. Be as rigorous at encouraging regular doses of the medicine of a “cheerful heart” as you are with administering the medicines the doctor prescribes.

Lord, teach me how to have “a cheerful heart”, then help me to share it. Amen

Photo courtesy of Ken Jones, copyright 2018

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God’s Protective Care

Because the Psalmist often faced times of physical danger, God often spoke to him in terms of safety and protection. He begins by inviting us to live in “the secret place of the Most High” (Psalm 91:1)…an intimate place of absolute safety. But that language may sound too lofty for the down-to-earth challenges you will face today. And so he offers a more earthy picture.

In the simplest of picture language he uses the imagery of the protection a mother bird provides for her young:

“He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge.” Psalm 91:4

In the most trying circumstances today - or any day, draw on the calm assurance of our Lord’s strong protective “wings”. He cares for you.

Throughout this day help me to remember your care and protection. Amen.

Photo courtesy of Ken Jones, copyright 2018

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When the Task Seems Too Great

Discouragement hides its head. It can feel like a lack of energy. There’s a score of things to be done, but everything in you says “just sit”. But “just sitting” doesn’t fix the way you’re feeling. In fact, it can make things worse. It did for me today.

By sheer force of will, I made myself take care of two little things that had been nagging me. Then, like a gentle gift, I felt drawn to be quiet. It was prayer…but without words. Just a sense of reaching out. Or up. Then, slowly, there came a sense that what I was feeling was discouragement. A discouragement of my own making. I had taken on a task too big. The task was good…and noble. But I wasn’t meant to do it alone. I needed to share the weight of responsibility with others. I needed more than help. Others had already offered help. The problem was that I needed to trust those that had offered. To trust the love, the integrity, the experience they will bring to our task.

If there is no one to share your caregiving tasks, I pray that you will find someone. And then I pray that you will be given the gifts of trust and patience to let them carry just a little of the weight you bear.

Lord, help me to see that there are levels of trust and patience which come only as gifts from your loving hand. Amen.

Photo courtesy of Ken Jones, copyright 2018

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Indescribable Generosity

There are times when our souls are dry. Beyond dry. Starved for refreshing. Weary of the responsibilities and routines of caregiving. We’ve reached our limits. Or…at least…it feels that way.

But just then, at that dark, empty place…is our LORD’s opportunity.

When we’ve absolutely nothing left to give, he offers his indescribable I-loved-you-enough-to-die-for-you generosity. With nothing to earn. Nothing to buy. It’s his best gift…held out for you in nail-scarred, welcoming hands.

Forgiveness – freely given, because the full penalty of my sin has already been paid. Strength – when yours has reached its limit…and beyond. Wisdom – when you can’t even find the words to ask the wearying question. Peace-when conflicts tear at your soul or threaten once-strong family ties.

It’s strange…that our darkest places…can become the places of our deepest, most fulfilling discoveries. “Thank God, then, for his indescribable generosity to you.” (I Cor.9:15 PHILLIPS TRANSLATION)

Prayer – Forgive, O LORD, the pride in me that keeps me from receiving the “incredible generosity” of your love. Amen

Photo courtesy of Ken Jones, copyright 2018

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When the Way is Rough

Apologies.

Our writer has been on a break for almost two weeks - and we’ve missed some days.

We’re back on schedule and we’ll welcome your prayers.

When the LORD brought King David a victory…he made up a song of praise. Maybe that’s a habit we should develop. One of those songs is in 2 Samuel 22. Then it reappears in the Hebrew hymnbook (Psalm 18) for all the people to sing.

It’s all about God’s deliverance…and well-worth being repeated again. Repeating helps to lock the awareness of the good hand of God in our memories. Then at one point it begins to read like a testimonial on preventing falls: “You provide a broad path for my feet, so that my ankles do not give way.” (2 Samuel 22:37) “A broad path” – a way to avoid the rough, dangerous places…and prevent falls.

Every six minutes an older person is admitted to an emergency room because of a fall. And clutter and inadequate light are the two primary causes of falls. And you’ve made a habit of checking both.

But there’s also a kind of inner clutter: those “little things”, the habits and attitudes that so easily trip us up, robbing us of joy, turning the warmth of caring into little more than cold, day-after-day duty.

But light makes a difference. And to each of us our LORD offers each of us his fall-preventing warm light of forgiveness and renewal “so that your ankles – and all the rest of you – does not give way”.

Prayer – LORD, help me to see the things that cause me to stumble. Help me to bring them to your light and forgiveness. Amen

Photo courtesy of Ken Jones, copyright 2018

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Relief for the Wearyin’ Time

Caregiving can be a long process. A loving one…but it can seem like its demands may never end. “A wearyin’ time” the old spirituals called it. A time when stress and struggle simply won’t let go. But there is relief for those “wearyin times” – a  sure relief.

“O love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee”. George Matheson was the “weary soul” that wrote those hope-full words, the first lines of his much-loved hymn.

In a picturesque Scottish seaside village on the day is his sister was married, George wrote: “something happened to me which caused me the most severe mental suffering”. So severe, in fact, that he never told anyone what happened. But these are the words that came to him “as if dictated by someone else”:

‘O love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee: I give thee back the life I owe, that in thy ocean depths its flow may richer, fuller be.”

That promise of rest for George’s “weary soul” came to him, he said, “in five  minutes”. And today, in less dramatic, less poetic ways, the same life-lifting hope he experienced, that same free gift of God, comes to you, “that in God’s ocean depths, your life may richer, fuller be.”

Prayer – LORD. may your life and love surround me, fill me, and overflow through me today in my “wearyin’ times”. Amen

Photo courtesy of Ken Jones, copyright 2017

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Attention Getter!

I just avoided a fall. I was getting up from a reclining chair when my right leg gave way. I felt something like a shock rush through my body…or was it fright …or a protective instinct. “Thank God!” I fell backward…into the recliner.

Falls are the leading cause of injury, disability, nursing home placement and death in adults over the age of 65.One in every three older adults falls each year. Taking steps to prevent falls should…NO! MUST BE on every caregiver’s agenda.

My near fall was an awakening…a spiritual attention getter. A call from my consuming current struggle…I was weighing options as I go up…and a call to surrender, to allow the LORD to make his plan clear. From struggle to quiet discovery. From my plans to his.

I’m not suggesting that my near-fall – or your current struggle – is our LORD’s doing.  Only that he often  uses the most common events and situations to cause us to STOP so that we can be more fully awake to his quiet, clear guidance. His ways are ways of peace…not confusion. Seek him! Seek his peace. We’d love to have you share your struggles and insights with us.

Prayer – Teach me, O LORD, to be quiet before you, especially in times of confusion. Amen

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Through the Valleys

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4)

As caregivers, we’ve seen our share of life’s “darkest valleys”. And we’ve learned that walking through them is often a slow, stressful process. There’s no running. No escaping the darkness. IT is always TRUST, TRUST, TRUST!

But for those who trust in the LORD there is another reality: “For you are with me,” and our Faithful Shepherd’s  “rod and staff” provide comfort, guidance and protection.

The valleys  - every troubling shadow of uncertainty or defeat – is in our Shepherd’s hands. Not ours! We rust in the certain promise of his shepherding presence.

At times we are given the grace of feeling our Shepherd’s presence.  At other times each step we take is a step of faith. A quiet recognition that our LORD “will never leave you or forsake you.

Prayer – Help me to see that, with you, “valleys” are the highways that lead to new mountaintops. Amen

Photo courtesy of Ken Jones, copyright 2018.

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A Home for the Heart

“What a beautiful home”, the Psalmist said as he looked around at the grandeur of the temple Solomon had built for God. Everything was pure gold; the Altar, the walls and ceilings, even the floors. It was dazzling!

But in the lofty reaches of the Temple, the Psalmist saw another wonder. Amidst all the gold and the glory...

“birds find nooks and crannies in your house,

sparrows and swallows make nests there. They lay their eggs and raise their young.” (Psalm 84:3)

In all the stress of this day’s service it may not be easy to see the Temple-like grandeur of our God. But we can rest assured that the least among us is welcomed and protected by our loving Father.

Prayer - O Lord, thank you that you made me to be at home in your love. Amen.

Photo courtesy of Jill Naumann, copyright 2018.

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Grace To You...and Through You

Surrender this day and its demands to our Lord. Begin it with an open, trusting heart. No matter what this day may bring, God has chosen to make you a channel for His good plans, moment by moment, hour by hour. When your strength has reached its limit, His giving has only just begun. When you feel empty and stressed, draw upon His strength.

God longs to bring his grace to bear in your times of pressure.

He supplies an endless tenderness in stressful situations. His peace can quiet the deepest conflicts.

In every caring task you will perform today, draw on His amazing grace, His tenderness, His peace. Quietly...trust that you are our Lord’s healing presence. No matter what the challenges, allow Him to make this a truly blessed day.

Prayer - I trust you, Lord. Please use me to fill this day with your healing presence. Amen

Photo courtesy of Jill Naumann, copyright 2018.

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You are Precious in God’s Sight

He finds great pleasure in you. In Jesus time, the poor bought sparrows as their offering in the Temple. It wall all they could afford, even though two sparrows sold for only a penny.

With something so common, who would be concerned at the loss of a single sparrow? But Jesus said, “Not one sparrow falls to the ground without your Father knowing.” Not one! Worth only half a penny’s value...but still our Father knows.

What a wonder - God knows the very least among us.

And what a greater wonder - God cares. Whatever you may feel or face today, “there is no need to be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:6,7)

Prayer - Thank you that I am loved and valued by you.  Amen.

Photo courtesy of Ken Jones, copyright 2018

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Blessed Beyond Measure

You are God’s chosen one, the object of his good favor. You are blessed.  The psalms are both the hymnbook and the prayer book of the Scriptures.  And thirty-nine times the Psalms tell us the kind of person God blesses.

“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked…but whose delight is in the law of the LORD.”  (Psalm 1:1, 2)

“Blessed are all who take refuge in him.” (Psalm 2:12)

“Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.” (Psalm 32:1)

“Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” (Psalm 34:8)

“Blessed are those whose strength is in [the LORD], whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.” (Psalm 84:5)

“Blessed are those whose strength is in [the LORD], whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.” (Psalm 84:5)

Prayer – Remind me this day, LORD, that I am your chosen one, your Blessed son or daughter. Amen

Photo courtesy of Ken Jones, copyright 2018

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Banking Promises…and Drawing On Them

Just yesterday I needed bagels and cream cheese. Well…I wanted bagels, and the cheese. When it came time to pay for them I gave the clerk my debit card. To my surprise she said, “We don’t take debit cards. Just cash!” I had money for bagels and more in my account, but no way to access it.

The Psalmist said, “I have banked your promises in the vault of my heart…” (Psalm 119:11) THE MESSAGE.  Promises? Precious assurances from the Bible that keep us afloat in stormy seas. Words to hold on to. Solid words that built faith. And those promises are “banked in the vault of your heart”, ready to be withdrawn in time of need.

There may be frustrating times today when you feel as if you have no resources. Or the resources you have just aren’t working. Go back to “the vault of your heart”. Hold on to God’s promises: “I am with you always”. “I will never leave you or forsake you”. “In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your path”.”The LORD is my shepherd. I shall not want.” Let those simple words of assurance hold you in your times of uncertainty.

As for the bagels? The clerk took one back and I had just enough cash in my “vault” to pay the bill. But this isn’t really about bagels. It’s about making it in life.

Prayer – Today LORD, please remind me of your assurances that I’ve stored away in the vault of my heart. Amen

Photo courtesy of Ken Jones, copyright 2018