cecilia-taormina-3year-btf

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

Exh. at the London Gallery West

Today, October 7th 2019, I exposed my images at the gallery for the first time!

Yesterday night, as long as on the prints I left a lot of fingerprints during the making process, I cleaned them by hand using a cotton disc.  The fingerprints came off luckily, so the images are safe. I bought in boots some gloves that are made by polythene and that are resistant to chemicals. Also they are very resistant to movements too and flexible to use. With these gloves I am able to handle safely the prints and hang them on the wall without ruining them.  I also took the white tack, which is gonna be more similar to the color of the wall and more mimetic. 

Hanging the project on the wall took us a bit of time (gigi helped me out) but I have to say that I was a bit under pressure about where to place the poem.  My prints were very close to the door, oh their left side. So my only choices were the total right, the top and the bottom. I chose at the beginning to leave it on the bottom left side, but it felt like a punch in the eye.  It just didn’t feel right. 

After helped Gigi out to hang her prints (it took us 2 hours to hang them perfectly straight) I spoke with Rachel and she suggested me to go to have a break and come back with fresh eyes. At the end I placed it in the middle, as long as the introductory text is on the right side.  It still feels very ugly but anyway, as Rachel said, this presentation it is fine for the sake of the assignment.  The mock up explains exactly how I am imagining to place them in the room and the absence of the poem in written form, using instead the recording voice.

Some shots of the work in progress:

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

PROJECT MOCK UP 3D

Thanks to an online 3D planner called www.roomstyler.com/3dplanner I had the chance to design a sketch of what my ideal final presentation would be like. The idea is to keep the prints inside a total dark room, dry mounted and hanging on the wall on eye level. At every corner of the  room there would be speakers, playing in loop a recorded version of my voice reading the poem. In this way, the idea is to make the viewer experience in a similar way what I feel when I have a panic attack coming and growing.

In this image we can see better the scene from the top.  The blue camera in the center of the room represents the viewer, looking straight to the pictures. On top of the images there would be small lights, selected each one to light up a singular image individually. At the four corners of the room, there would be the speakers.

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

EMS 5

tardis reveal and wash!!!

Phase 1: a first bath into the water

Phase 2: the glue starts to dissolve

Phase 3: the glue starts to lose contact with the print and removes itself

Phase 4: after half an hour my girlfriend changes the water and she washes off the extra glue

Phase 5: the shape is visible!

Phase 6: the last layer of glue starts to come off

Phase 7: we can see the tardis!!!

This 3D print experience was amazing, I have in mind to use it again but this time design on photoshop my own things and then send them to print. It is so great!! I will also use the EMS for next year, to create my major project. I am already starting to work on it, so I will be ready!!!

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

Project evaluation

Today we had the project evaluation. I felt very weird about hanging the images, the poem and the description. It was like open my world to strangers and let them looking at it from a window. The feeling went away after a while, but still nervous to listen to the judgments. That part was better than expected, I didn’t imagine to receive so much appreciation for my work. 

Lucy, Fran and another girl commented my picture, saying that the project looks very abstract and they were not able to tell what’s depicted. So they were really amazed when I told them that the first one was salt and the rest just cling film wrapped on itself. Yassen also said that he doesn’t feel the poem connected to the pictures, so he suggested me to do a projection of the text on the wall ON TOP of the images. I feel this process too invasive for it, and unnecessary. What I told him, and it is something I was thinking about as a final presentation, is that I want to present the images in a dark room, with the poem going as a recorded sound, read by me, maybe meanwhile I am having a panic attack. I believe this would be the most engaging situation for the viewer, because he would experience the attack with me, hearing what I say and looking at the images.

The comment I wrote as explanation for the project is: 

As far as I remember, it has always been is a personal related project, where using photography as art therapy I wanted to give visual representation to my feelings. The main subject is the rage that, unable to be expressed, implodes on itself causing a panic attack. This presentation express how I visualize what happens inside me during an episode. From the dark, angry red emotions start to come up. The stronger they become, the less is my ability to breath and stay focused on what is happening around me. The text gives an idea to the viewer about what I think when this is about to happen.

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

EMS part 4

Discworld prints arrived!!! Joanna (the girl of the 3D space) washed them already, so there is no glue to take off. It is a shame, because I really wanted my girlfriend to wash it off by herself and discover the surprise. But hey, I will make it work! Those pieces are absolutely beautiful, and the details are incredible!

IT IS BALANCED!!!

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

EMS part 3

I changed my idea about the Chessboard of Doctor Who, because I can’t really afford the price.  Then I went back to Connor to tell him my other idea, that was a printing of 3 characters of Discworld, a book of Terry Pratchett, where the hearth is flat and stands on top of 4 elephants that stand on top of a turtle, floating all around the universe. This would have cost me 6 pounds only, which is amazing! Connor didn’t really know what I was talking about, but he helped me a lot looking for the codes of the characters. This is what they should look like:

This kind of print is what we were aiming for, BUT we couldn’t find the right code for it.

So, we replaced it with this:

The design is not the best, but it works for the present. I want them to be print in white, so my girlfriend can paint them as she wants. My order has been placed, I can’t wait for the result to come!!

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

EMS part 2- the Tardis arrives

The Tardis is in my hands!!  Connor sent me an email saying that my tardis is ready for the collection, so I went to grab it and it looks so beautiful! On the tv show the Tardis is the ship of the Timelord (a sort of alien), that is bigger on the inside.

To the human eye it looks like a police box, but....

...on the inside is way bigger and it is a proper ship with loads of buttons and commands

Of course I didn’t expect the 3D prints to do a miracle and be bigger on the inside. Not even to be on the outside size of the police box. We chose to print it in a 5cm scale.  This is what they look like!

The white thing around it is glue, used as a support material for special edges like boarders, tales and suspended parts. It is washable and it doesn’t ruin the prints. It just needs to stay in hot water overnight or being washed carefully off with a sponge under running hot water.

Important thing to remember: if the water is too hot for us, so it is for the print.

I am going to leave the glue on because I want my girlfriend to discover what it is on Christmas day and let her dissolve the glue. It will be so exiting!!!!

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

Meeting with Connor at the EMS

Now that my project is done, I feel like I can have time to explore the resource of the Emerging Media Space. Therefore I went to talk to Connor about a personal project I have in mind for Christmas. I want to print for my girlfriend a chessboard of Doctor Who, a tv serie that she loves. I have done some researches, finding the codes on various websites. This is the one I kind of like the most:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRt8fAMUYbI

in this video instead there is another kind of chessboard with different characters and also the code to download in order to print it by yourself I asked Connor how much would that costs and he told me something around 60 pounds according to what kind of material we would print on. As long as they are chess pieces, they should be strong and heavy enough to stand and stay still in place. Therefore he told me to give a try to the tardis pieces as a test, and print it in 20, 40 and 60 strength. I can’t wait for the results!!!

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

Personal research

This week I went to the National History museum with my girlfriend. When we walked through the gift shop, I noticed this shirt that caught my eyes immediately. I want to know more what kind of paper or material reacts to light in this way. It kind of reminded me of my photograms and “drawing with light” room at the Shape of light exhibition. I want it!! I am going to do more researches about it, maybe it is something I can keep as ideas to use for future projects.

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

Final Pieces? 2.0

Ok, here we are. Looking at all the pictures, I can see something is wrong. I was with a friend of mine in the darkroom, and she was trying to help me out placing them in the final order. Here intention, with this layout, is to represent what the poem is saying about the count 123451234512345. I personally think this is way to much visual and disorganized. I understand what she is trying to say, but I believe this layout makes the project too mechanized.  I believe the viewer needs to FEEL the heart pumping, not seeing it on the layout. However, those are the chosen pictures for the final piece, except the one of the rose, first one from the left

Close up 1

Close up 2

Close up 3

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

Poem

On my way to uni, while I was on the train, I started to think about a piece of writing I needed to include on the project. This heavy thought caused me a begin of a panic attack, which happened on the best moment because I wasn’t surrounded by anybody. This allowed me to record what happens in my head when I have a panic attack, so I started to write down on my phone all my thoughts, following my breathing.  This poem is what came out:

Breathe in. Breathe out. I see it coming. I feel it. Blurry. Stay focused. Breathe in. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Breathe out. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. I can't see a thing. The heart is pumping, head exploding. Cold sweat. Stay focused, you can do it. This time is gonna be different. Breathe in. 1 2 3 4 5 Too many people. I can't escape. 12345 Breath out. My eyes. They are gonna notice it. I can't. 12345 Mum. I forgot to breathe. I can't. Breathe in. Breathe out. 12345 12345 12345 Escape. Escape. 123451234512345 People. People. Too many people. 123451234512345 Run. I can't breathe anymore.

I felt very uncomfortable writing it down, mostly because I was conscious that my feelings were supposed to be read by others in a gallery space, so it made me feel kind of anxious.  However it looked very good, I believe it really represents what I experience when I have panic attacks and it makes the reader engaged

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

Personal practice: a nightmare in the darkroom

I tried to retake some photograms adjusting the boarders and it was a total nightmare. It took me 2 hours to find out the right way to frame the bags. At the end I asked Darrin if I could borrowed some spare pieces of polyboard to use it to create a kind of frame and he said yes. What I did then was to switch off the light, place the sheet of paper, place them as you can see in the pictures and then put the bag in the middle.  This process was way too long and complicated to be done in total dark, therefore I had to try to find another way.

The second attempt consisted in placing the boarders as shown in pictures and put the bag in the middle, moving around the edges of the easel to match perfectly the shape and have it centered. What happen in the dark was just to lift the easel, slide the paper in place, put the easel down, place the bag in the middle and then lift the easel up again. The result was way faster to reach and more precised. I also tried to create the boarders but I am not sure if I like it or not.

Something that I didn’t recorder during my previous darkroom days was the position of the parts of the column, just in case I would have changed room and I would have found a different set up.

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

Final pieces? And title

I kept going on with my practice and I made more photograms, reaching the point where I am sure in here there are the right ones to use. I am not sure about the order yet, or even how many and which ones.  I have to remake some prints because talking with rachel she suggested me to make the bag more straight and centered, but it is something I find very difficult to do.  However, I will give it a try finding the right method. 

Meanwhile, I have some ideas for the title:

Something you can't see

Rage

Reality show

Time out. Break down.

Can you see me? Now you see me

Everybody has a secret

Like moths to flames

It belongs to me

•I'm fine.

•I'm alone.

A spectrum of emotions

•I am listening.

The room (that belongs to me)

As far as I remember, it has always been

This is also me/ me too

Like moths to flames, I am listening, The room (that belongs to me) and As far as I remember it has always been are my favorite titles.  Rachel suggested me to use As far as I remember, it has always been, because in her opinion works better and depicts the abstraction and the mystery of the project. I kind of agree, so probably I will go for it.

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

Personal practice: experiments with bleach

After have seen what Emilie Pugh did, I tried to push myself and draw on exposed paper with bleach. I went to the student union and grabbed a big bottle of bleach plus some wood sticks to use as a brush and also a fork and a spoon to draw more specific shapes. I wanted to see what kind of effect the bleach had on the paper and if the black would come off or not.  The results are pretty interesting, despite the fact that I tried to draw a sun and the drops went down creating a sort of tears. I rally like the effect and for sure I am going to use it for future projects.

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

Personal researches

Shape of light exhibition

At the Shape of light exhibition some photographs part of the ROOM 3 were the ones that exited me the most. As long as for Beyond the frame module I am using photograms as a medium to convey my concept and feelings, I really felt very close to the images shown in this room. What follows is a quote of my Advance Research Method blog, where I made a review of the exhibition:

This is a room space dedicated to a new photographic style. A photogram is a print made without the use of the camera. The process involves only an enlarger, a photographic paper and some objects. This process needs to be done in total darkness, so the darkroom is the safest location to work on it. The process consists in putting an unexposed photographic paper on a surface and then place some objects on top. Then expose everything to light. When you develop the print into the chemicals, what you obtain it is the shape of the object placed on top, that creates different textures and shapes. It becomes very abstract and it can convey lots of different emotions in them. The photograms hanging on the wall shown a kind of pattern and for example, the middle one, it has been done using beer lids. Everything seems to create a kind of pattern but without being able to understand what we are really looking at.

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

During my free time I went to look at some images made by different contemporary artists. I didn’t find much, but this artist in particular caught my attention. She uses cling film too, but in a slightly different way. 

The results however are amazing

[cecilia-taormina-3year-btf]

Emerging media space induction

This afternoon we had the induction at the emerging media space, where we met Connor and his amazing work about VR, 3D printing and 360 cameras. It was amazing, I felt very great about it and for sure I am going to come back to ask him about how to take codes for 3D prints and how to make one myself.