ceawiid - Tumblr blog

[ceawiid]

!!!! crdt: @partange1

don’t delete caption

[ceawiid]

aphrodite is the goddess of femmes and artemis is the goddess of butches send post

[ceawiid]

“a message from women: do you know what it’s like to be left alone in love? do you know what it’s like to feel stuck in love? do you know what it’s like to be too depressed? do you know what it’s like to have to beg for forever from a person who neglects your history? do you what it’s like to lose everything? do you know what it’s like to feel abandoned? do you know what it’s like to wait? do you know that i will never be too near or too far away? honestly, i’m still waiting for closure. i still question what this is— or what this was? because i can’t help but hope our feelings were mutual. do you know how it feels to constantly chase a feeling you’re addicted to? do you know i’ve got the jones for you. and an appetite. and a sweet tooth. do you know i prayed for you? from night ’til day. regardless of my better judgement or dismay time after time after promises that never seemed impossible or too good to be TRUE. do you know what it’s like to try convincing yourself that— this was the truth. like i was the woman created for you. do you know how much i’ve craved you? i’ve searched for you everywhere in people, in prayer, in psalm. in different lovers, in god. and god— i, wish you really knew. that i’d love you till death, or that i’d kill for you. or that i feel you, like soul deep, like deeper than anyone ever will. do you know what it’s like to feel dead inside and see you so alive, still? but these days i feel alive. i’ve been able to realize you just weren’t meant for me. these days i don’t cry over spilled milk. or lost love or things i have no control of. these days i just love myself more. i just know there’s a happily ever after. these days i just — don’t see it with you. nothing personal i think i just fell too quick for your potential. i just wanted you to be the one. i just thought we made sense but now i love myself enough to know better..”

— Reyna Biddy

[ceawiid]

never alone

[ceawiid]

kids im gonna save you all some time, if you’re googling “am i gay quiz” you’re gay and that’s just the truth

[ceawiid]

Jude Sweetwine 16y/o, I'll Give You the Sun

[ceawiid]

[ceawiid]

Teyana Taylor Shumpert shot by Trevor Stuurman

NYFW

[ceawiid]

[cries] bale

[ceawiid]

I walk on water…

[ceawiid]

Laid out before them, Eragon saw the whole of the storm, extending for what must have been a hundred miles in every direction. The clouds both near and far were milky and seemed almost luminous, as if lit from within. They looked beautiful and benign- placid, unchanging formations that betrayed nothing of the violence inside.

Then he noticed the sky, and he gasped, for it contained more stars that he had thought existed. Red, Blue, white, gold, they lay strewn upon the firmament like handfuls of sparkling dust. The constellations he was familiar with were still present but now set among thousands of fainter stars, which he beheld for the very first time. Whenever he looked at the sky before, there had been a haze over his eyes that had kept him from seeing the true glory of the stars.

Did I ever mention how much I love to draw clouds?? Like, they are so fluffy and wispy, and you can draw them in so many different ways, and clouds are just… Urg, I love clouds.  So a quick a dirty matte painting. (Nobody has time to draw all these stars), but we all have time to draw constellations.

[ceawiid]

Things I need

A Percy Jackson reboot for tv

A Magnus Chase series for tv

FUCKING ERAGON REBOOT YOU BRAINLESS ACORN CAPS!

What else nerds?

[ceawiid]

“Lemonade” poetry bits

Intuition

I tried to make a home outta you. But doors lead to trapdoors. A stairway leads to nothing. Unknown women wander the hallways at night. Where do you go when you go quiet? You remind me of my father, a magician. Able to exist in two places at once. In the tradition of men in my blood you come home at 3AM and lie to me. What are you hiding? The past, and the future merge to meet us here. What luck. What a fucking curse.

Denial

I tried to change. Closed my mouth more. Tried to be soft, prettier. Less…awake.

Fasted for 60 days. Wore white. Abstained from mirrors. Abstained from sex. Slowly did not speak another word.

In that time my hair grew past my ankles. I slept on a mat on the floor. I swallowed a sword. I levitated… into the basement, I confessed my sins and was baptized in a river. Got on my knees and said, “Amen.” And said I mean. I whipped my own back and asked for dominion at your feet. I threw myself into a volcano. I drank the blood and drank the wine. I sat alone and begged and bent at the waist for God. I crossed myself and thought… I saw the devil. I grew thickened skin on my feet. I bathed…in bleach and plugged my menses with pages from the Holy Book. But still inside me coiled deep was the need to know. Are you cheating? Are you cheating on me?

Anger

If this what you truly want. I can wear her skin…over mine. Her hair, over mine. Her hands as gloves. Her teeth as confetti. Her scalp, a cap. Her sternum, my bedazzled cane. We can pose for a photograph. All three of us, immortalized. You and your perfect girl.

I don’t know when love became elusive. What I know is no one I know has it. My father’s arms around my mother’s neck. Fruit too ripe to eat.

I think of lovers as trees… …growing to and from one another. Searching for the same light. Why can’t you see me? Why can’t you see me? (Why can’t you) Why can’t you see me? Everyone else can.

Apathy

So what are you gonna say at my funeral now that you’ve killed me? Here lies the body of the love of my life, whose heart I broke without a gun to my head. Here lies the mother of my children both living and dead. Rest in peace, my true love, who I took for granted, most bomb pussy, who because of me, sleep evaded. Her shroud is loneliness. Her God was listening. Her heaven would be a love without betrayal. Ashes to ashes…dust to side chicks.

Emptiness

She sleeps all day…dreams of you in both worlds.

Tills the blood in and out of uterus. Wakes up smelling of zinc. Grief, sedated by orgasm. Orgasm heightened by grief. God was in the room when the man said to the woman, “I love you so much. Wrap your legs around me and pull me in, pull me in, pull me in.” Sometimes when he’d have her nipple in his mouth, she’d whisper, “Oh my God.” That, too, is a form of worship. Her hips grind pestle and mortar, cinnamon and cloves, whenever he pulls out.

Loss. Dear moon, we blame you for floods…for the flush of blood…for men who are also wolves. We blame you for the night, for the dark, for the ghosts.

Every fear… Every nightmare…anyone has ever had.

Accountability

You find the black tube inside her beauty case. Where she keeps your father’s old prison letters. You desperately want to look like her. You look nothing like your mother. You look everything like your mother. Film star, beauty. How to wear your mother’s lipstick. You go to the bathroom to apply the lipstick. Somewhere no one can find you. You must wear it like she wears disappointment on her face. Your mother is a woman. And women like her can not be contained.

Mother dearest, let me inherit the Earth. Teach me how to make him beg. Let me make up for the years he made you wait. Did he bend your reflection? Did he make you forget your own name? Did he convince you he was a God? Did you get on your knees daily? Do his eyes close like doors? Are you a slave to the back of his head? Am I talking about your husband or your father?

Reformation

He bathes me… …until I forget their names…and faces. I ask him to look me in the eye when I come…home. Why do you deny yourself heaven? Why do you consider yourself undeserving? Why are you afraid of love? You think it’s not possible for someone like you. But you are the love of my life…love of my life…the love of my life…the love of my life.

Forgiveness

Baptize me… …now that reconciliation is possible. If we’re gonna heal, let it be glorious. One thousand girls raise their arms.

Do you remember being born?

Are you thankful? Are the hips that cracked… …the deep velvet of your mother… …and her mother… …and her mother? There is a curse that will be broken.

Resurrection

You are terrifying… …and strange… …and beautiful.

Hope

The nail technician pushes my cuticles back… …turns my hand over, stretches the skin on my palm and says: “I see your daughters, and their daughters.” That night in a dream the first girl emerges from a slit in my stomach. The scar heals into a smile. The man I love pulls the stitches out with his fingernails. We leave black sutures curling on the side of the bath. I wake as the second girl crawls headfirst up my throat. A flower blossoming out of the hole in my face.

Redemption

Take one pint of water, add a half pound of sugar, the juice of eight lemons… …the zest of half lemon. Pour the water from one jug, then into the other, several times. Strain through a clean napkin.

Grandmother, the alchemist. You spun gold out of this hard life. Conjured beauty from the things left behind. Found healing where it did not live. Discovered the antidote in your own kitchen. Broke the curse with your own two hands. You passed these instructions down to your daughter. Who then passed it down to her daughter.

My grandma said, nothing real can be threatened. True love brought salvation back into me. With every tear came redemption. And my torturer became my remedy.

So we’re gonna heal, we’re gonna start again. You’ve brought the orchestra. Synchronized swimmers, you are the magician. Pull me back together again the way you cut me in half. Make the woman in doubt disappear. Pull the sorrow from between my legs like silk, knot after knot after knot. The audience applauds… …but we can’t hear them.

Warsan Shire

[ceawiid]

Costume Porn + Women Warriors/Women in Armor

[ceawiid]

me: wow i have so many new books that im so excited to read!

me brain: read eragon again

me: but-

my brain: reread the ENTIRE inheritance cycle for the 12th time

me: ok

[ceawiid]

Reblog if you think Eragon is underappreciated

[ceawiid]