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Reminder that to create a robot that can handle delicate objects with enough force to lift and carry but light enough to not break them is an insane feat of engineering that took QUITE SOME TIME to achieve, and getting one to do so with VARYING TYPES of fragile objects that take DIFFERENT LEVELS of force is STILL an ongoing process that we are trying to master due to the insane amount of variables and trying to get the machine to actually detect what the object is and adjust it's force item-by-item.

And brilliant, incredible people have worked on this without achieving the final goal of reliable, consistent accuracy to the same degree as a person would have.

And yet the human brain does that casually, constantly, instantaneously, and, for the most part, without error.

"Supercomputer" doesn't even begin to describe what the human brain can do.

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They can, absolutely, but when a character's opinions ARE consistent across the series in every case they've been brought up, it's a bit odd to decide to die on the hill of "No they don't like this thing they had no issue with in literally every other instance"

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I want to preface this with saying that I absolutely cracked the fuck up reading "I do not support the man-eating werescorpion lifestyle" and I thank you sincerely for adding that to the list of things I've read with my own two eyes XD

But

By taking away that the Doctor is opposed to human life-extension research, you DID fail to comprehend the episode.

The Doctor was directly opposed to Lazarus being willing to step on others to achieve immortality, and was warning against immortality in general, but he's not against humans extending their life.

9 knew Cassandra, and he didn't hold it against her at all that she had extended her life so much. What he held against her was that she was trying to hurt others.

11 met Liz-10. He had no issues with her having her life artificially extended so much either, in fact he quite liked her.

12 MADE Ashildr immortal to save her life.

The Doctor is not, and has never been, opposed to increasing human lifespan.

He's never been opposed to scientific advancements or artificial evolution. He's met and befriended cyborgs, immortals, and more, and whether artificial or cybernetic or genetically modified or not, his only concern is whether or not they're hurting others for the sake of it.

The only person he had any issues with SPECIFICALLY because of the immortality is Jack Harkness, and that is less to do with "you'll never stay dead" and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that Jack Is™

He Is, in the sense that he can never be anything else.

He's a fact of time and space, ripped out of his proper existence and now exists as a being untouchable by time or space in any way that matters.

Jack shouldn't exist, in time or space, anymore. But he does. And the Doctor's Time Lord nature makes it hard to ignore that, but he -did- ignore it anyway when faced with him.

Because he doesn't take issue with Jack's immortality. He takes issue with the fact he's a blot in Time, he exists perpetually as a fact of reality and no living thing is supposed to be that, but through the power of Bad Wolf Rose, he was forced into being that.

The Doctor does not, and has never, been opposed to human life-extension research, and the fact that's what you got from that episode shows you absolutely DID misunderstand it.

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This is the only correct analysis of Gandalf, I've decided it, it's official.

i love how Gandalf invested in Hobbits in year one and has been pushing them ever since. Thorin, i hear you need help with a breaking and entering. Can I recommend one of these little cunts? Silent as fuck, trust me. Elrond my dude i know you're skeptical but these four chucklefucks just transported a weapon of mass destruction all the way here. Theoden, you've gotta get yourself a hobbit man, I've got a spare one here. Denathor you big prick, take a hobbit - literally this is the bottom of the range but listen to him sing. Beautiful little bastard.

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As much as I hate Danny Phantom in terms of powerscaling, I absolutely adore every single work involving him <3

And the art on this is so absolutely amazing, too!!!

Gah, I can never get enough Danny in my life.

On a side note...idc how powerful that sludge monster is, PLAYFUL Danny is a threat.

Angry Danny? Bye sludge bucket, there's no Thermos or Ghost Zone waiting for you, only oblivion :D

YAHOO IT'S @ecto-implosion TIME!!

I got to work with the very awesome diskordcendrum for this one! I'll update this post when they have their partner fic up :) ehehe I love a good dramatic identity reveal

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That's because for most people, it IS only possible in a video game.

The system works that way by design and desperately needs dismantling so it can be rebuilt in a way that actually helps people.

tom animal crossing nook made you work for like 3 minutes and you spit on him like this god damn

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Not to mention he supports your endeavors by actively teaching you, and providing you free-of-charge, all that you need in order to create your own high-quality items from scratch, which you can then keep for yourself, give to others, or sell to his nephews, who, by the way, never operate more than one business at a time; they're not just LITERALLY small business owners, they're also the owners of a small, traveling business that sets up shop wherever their uncle is.

Why?

Because they want to support him and those he helps, just like Tom does, and do so by buying whatever random junk you have lying around.

And the three of them are environmentally friendly! They pay you for junk not because it has any real value to them, or even because you took the time to bring it in.

They pay you for it because every bit of junk you sell to them is one less bit of junk on the streets, in the fields, everywhere. Buying junk so they can dispose of it properly keeps their towns clean of litter.

So, to recap;

You get a house AND the land it's on, for free, and if you decide to upgrade it you can do so for the equivalent of $306 USD.

You get free lessons on crafting all sorts of items

You're given free reign to scavenge, forage, and collect from the natural world all you like, so long as you leave enough for others and enough for nature to not feel the loss

You're given personal check-ins by Tom and his nephews on a regular basis for the sole purpose of making sure everything is working out okay and ensuring you're happy

AND on top of that, you get paid for keeping the streets clean, simply as a thank you for doing so.

Name me ONE landlord with that big of a heart. Name ONE town that well-run. You can't. Know why?

Because unfortunately, Tom Nook isn't real, and if he were, he'd be killed by the US Government for daring to prove that safe, universally affordable living is 100% possible, and that good will CAN triumph over greed if allowed to by those in charge.

Tom Nook is a saint and if you fight me on that, one of us is absolutely dying on this hill and it will not be me.

tom animal crossing nook made you work for like 3 minutes and you spit on him like this god damn

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Funny, but Goku would never lose to Sportacus.

Not because he's stronger, Sportacus right after an apple is roughly on par with Goku's base form, so in a no-transformations fight, they're evenly matched.

But they'd never fight. Sportacus doesn't fight for fun, and Goku is the type who respects that sort of thing. He'd beg and plead, but unless Sportacus agreed (which he wouldn't), they'd never fight.

Instead, they'd have sports matches. Baseball, races, that sort of thing.

Sportacus would respect the hell out of Goku and see him as a great workout partner, and Goku would see Sportacus as someone worthy of respect and a solid training partner in his own way.

They wouldn't fight, they'd be too good of friends for Goku to attack him and Sportacus would never agree to a battle.

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I don't think Garnet is a representation of a married couple.

I've seen where some will call Garnet relationship goals. That she's so well-adjusted, that she's a beautiful pair of women who have learned to work at love so well it stopped being work.

Garnet is not a married couple.

Garnet is the child of a married couple, and a perfect parallel to Steven.

Steven is the result of his mother giving up her physical form in order to create Steven. Steven is, broken down, a fusion of his parents. His mother's love of life and adoration of the universe, and his father's humor, habits, and quirks. And he has traits born from the combination of theirs, traits neither of them have because Steven blends their personalities and gains new aspects from it.

Garnet is the same.

Ruby is brash, short-tempered, combative, and always itching for a fight. She's devoted, and loyal, and she has a blazing passion for the interests she has, with an almost blind adoration of Sapphire.

Sapphire is calm, collected, semi-apathetic to her surroundings due to her foresight. She's as devoted to Ruby as Ruby is to her, and just as loyal, with an unshakeable confidence in the way of things.

Garnet, like Steven, is a blend of traits, and has her own born from the mix of them all.

Garnet is quick to action, but slow to anger (outside of very specific things), she's devoted and loyal to the utmost degree, she has a high self-confidence born from Ruby and Sapphire's love for each other, an unwavering belief that nothing that comes from their love could be bad, or wrong, and as she comes from that love she is good, and right.

Garnet is hard on herself when she makes mistakes in the moment, but quickly moves on when things are okay again, she learns from her mistakes and actively takes steps to avoid them again, a trait born from Ruby's combative mind and Sapphire's strategic mind.

Garnet says it herself:

"I am more than the two of them, everything they care about is what I am, I am their fury, I am their patience, I am a conversation."

She is not Ruby and Sapphire. She's not just a fused fighter, or a simple matter of 1+1 = 2. She's an entity all her own, someone else entirely, born from the love, and adoration, and fury, and frustration, the passion and the calm, the desperation and the relief, the joy and the sadness, the love and the hate...

She is a child, born of Ruby and Sapphire's decision to give up their physical forms in order to create something beautiful and new.

They would rather Garnet live, they would rather live as Garnet, in order to allow this new being, this person born from their love, to experience the universe and to know life and laughter and joy and love, than for them to do so apart.

Just like Steven's mother would rather Steven live, as Steven, in order for that new being, that person born from her love with Greg, to experience the universe and to know life and laughter and joy and love, than for her to do so herself.

Steven is an embodiment of everything Garnet stands for. Such utter devotion, and such true love, that one would give up their life for the sake of this new being.

The love of a parent, shown in the form of every single second this new being draws breath.

Just like Garnet feels the love between Ruby and Sapphire with every breath she draws of her own.

I think this is why Garnet and Steven are so close. They're one and the same, they understand each other. And where Steven is always learning, always growing, Garnet is too. She's been around far longer, but Steven brought a whole new perspective to the world. Finally, for the first time in her life, she knew someone just like her.

Someone who would never meet the parts of them that came together to create them.

Someone who understands what it means when someone gives up their life for yours.

Someone who, from birth, has known a form of love few others ever even hear of.

She finally had someone who could feel what she felt.

And Steven grew up with this woman, this person, who has never once doubted him, never once doubted what he could be.

Someone who understood that he was learning, and growing.

Someone who understood that he was new, and changing.

Someone who knew exactly how to show the form of love that he needed most.

Because how could she not?

How could she not adore this child, this boy who was so like her?

And how would her parents, how would Ruby and Sapphire, treat this child, this boy born from the same kind of love that carved Garnet into the universe?

They would love him.

They would adore him.

And Garnet, bearing a heart stronger than twice theirs, did exactly that, from the first time she heard his tiny little voice, and forever on.

Because at the end of the day...

She was just like him.

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That's because there are more reasons to like Vegeta than there are to like Goku.

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She is correct to like Vegeta.

She really likes vegeta

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Sooooooooooo

Vegeta throughout 80% of the Buu saga. :D

My favorite form of redemption arc is “I hate that I have morals now”

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Just had a very interesting conversation with someone about dimensions.

LONG post below the cut.

In the game 9 Days, you start in the "3rd Dimension". A world with length, height, and width, but time does not pass. The only reason it seems to pass for the player is because they are not naturally a 3rd dimensional creature, they experience a sense of Time regardless of whether or not there is actually Time passing.

But within the 3rd dimension, time does not pass. An existence in stasis, save for you, and your kind, strangers in this world, outsiders to this existence, forced here by circumstance.

You very quickly leave the 3rd Dimension, and enter the 4th.

Length, height, width, and time.

But the bulk of the conversation we had was about the fact that when media tends to talk about dimensional existences, they only account for the spatial dimensions.

When you hear about a "3 dimensional existence", you think of us, yes? Humans, the way we experience reality. But...That isn't quite right, is it?

Time is also a dimension. The movement of particles, the shifting of existence, at the smallest possible scale, IS time. How we measure time is purely of Human construction, but the fact that time does pass is a very real fact of our existence.

Which means...We actually experience a 4 dimensional existence, doesn't it?

Length, width, height, and time.

So why then, in all fictions, do people refer to our existence as 3 dimensional? Why is Flatland seen as 2 dimensional?

Both experience time. Both have a concept of time. Time passes in both.

Which means Flatland is a 3 dimensional existence, and ours is 4 dimensional.

An existence featuring only length would be 1 dimensional, but one featuring length and time would be 2.

Length and width, but no time, is also 2 dimensional, but both with time is 3.

Length, width, and height but no time is also 3, but all three with time is 4.

So why does fiction NOT refer to it as such?

I have two theories.

One is that they are simplifying it for the audience.

We're taught so early on that we are 3 dimensional creatures. We exist in 3 dimensions and 3 only.

And later on, much later on, those who study physics and theoretical physics start learning about the dimension of time.

So it's not that we, as a species, are unaware of time as a dimension separate from the three spatial dimensions we're aware of.

The concept of time being the 4th dimension is nothing new.

So simplifying it for the audience is entirely possible.

The other theory is that the writers of such media are, themselves, unaware of time as a dimension. That they don't realize it is a 4th dimension that should be accounted for, as an existence without time is entirely stagnant. Permanent, unbreakable stasis.

Idk, it's...strange. I had a point at the start, and lost it somewhere. Oh well.

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Your characters when you're not doing what they want and start inflicting pain

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If I ever see anything even remotely similar to Journey to the West and don't reblog it both on my main and my analysis blog please know that I have been killed and replaced by a fed or an alien bodysnatcher

I normally don't repost stuff but OMFG

if anyone finds the op on douyin I'm grateful 🙏

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Another little addition below the cut

When he asks Ryan what he wants to do, big picture, and Ryan says he wants to help people, he's supportive!!!

I'm not going to pretend the lesson and methods were good, they weren't, but we're looking at the parenting right now, and good parenting involves being sincerely supportive of your kid's goals.

Ryan wants to help people, so not only does Homelander fully support that, but he even notices a real world example of someone needing help, points it out, and gives Ryan a chance to do exactly that.

His teaching Ryan to dole out justice with sadistic brutality is a problem, through and through, but his efforts to genuinely support and encourage Ryan's goals in life are absolutely good parenting, and show that he HAS changed, as he really is giving Ryan the freedom and support to do what he wants to in life.

Thinking about how Homelander is actually so fucking tragic.

Raised to be the symbol of patriotism. Won the superpower lottery. Durable enough that a nuclear bomb wouldn't kill him, fast enough that nothing can outpace him, full freedom from gravity because of flight, laser vision that he can control the strength of to such a fine degree that he could cook popcorn or cauterize your brain in half and it's not even hard for him to do.

All of this, together, make him a god among men.

And it's so.

Fucking.

Boring.

And it's tragic, too.

It is.

I know, I know, "he's a fascist!!!" I get it, and you're right.

But look at what he's been through.

He was raised in a lab. No parents besides the scientists that studied him to figure out what he could and couldn't survive, what would and wouldn't hurt him, what he was capable of and how he could be useful.

At every turn, he was denied human connection in any meaningful way. His father was never in the picture, his mother was dead, he existed solely as a test subject, and as soon as he was old enough to be on TV, they wheeled him out like a shiny new toy and said "Look! It's the embodiment of America! The peak of human evolution!"

He has never, EVER known anything except two concepts: Fear and Blind Adoration.

The people who love him don't love HIM, they love the idea he represents. The people who know him fear him with all they have.

Spoilers for The Boys below

He finally meets someone who doesn't fear him, and claims to love him, and it's Stillwell. She doesn't fear him. But he doesn't realize the reason she doesn't fear him is because she thinks she has him under control. A little mommy-play here, a little milk there, and he's docile. She thinks she has him in her pocket.

But then she slips up. And out comes the truth. She's never loved him. Ever. She has always, always hated him, always been afraid of him. And suddenly all those happy memories of the only mother-figure he's ever known are tainted, ruined by the idea that she would have rather had him be dead than ever touch her, but she did what she felt she had to do so he would be a good boy.

And he doesn't understand. He was a good boy, wasn't he? His heart was in the right place, wasn't it? He only did what he thought would make her happy, and he tried to be have his best when she asked, didn't he? So why did she hate him so much? Why was she so afraid of him?

And it tears him up inside. It destroys him. He feels hurt, and angry, and scared, and it burns him up until that heat has nowhere to go but out.

And he kills her. And it kills him.

It's with Stillwell's death we see him truly change. He stops being the boy scout, in his own eyes. He just killed someone who meant everything to him. He killed someone he thought genuinely cared about him, saw him as good, and loved.

We watch him die right alongside her, and in that moment he performs one last act of kindness as he loses the final shred of hope in his heart: he saves Billy Butcher and makes sure that Stillwell's baby survives as well.

We see another kick in the head when he visits his "creator", the man in charge of the Homelander experiment that gave birth to him. And this man says he is nothing but a failure. A living embodiment of all that man did wrong, and all that man failed to achieve. He says that Homelander is nothing but one big failed experiment, and is his greatest regret in life.

Flash ahead. He's unchained, mostly. Edgar is still in control of him, but Edgar doesn't care enough to tug the leash. He expects Homelander to tie his own chain, and if he doesn't, then Edgar will yank it and choke the bastard for all he's worth until he sits, heels, like a good little attack dog.

And for the most part this works. Homelander stays under Edgar's radar, his descent hardly noticed, because he doesn't do anything that Vaught can track that he wouldn't have done before Stillwell's death.

All the while, mourning the loss of the only person to ever even pretend to care about him.

And then we meet Ryan, and realize who he is.

And when Homelander learns he has a son, we see something special, something that, until now, didn't seem possible.

We see the light come back into his eyes.

We see him start to hope again.

A son. The perfect opportunity to do better, to prove he is, in fact, a good man. If he can just do right by Ryan, if he can raise him right, be a good dad to him, show him the love, and compassion, and care that he never knew, then Ryan could grow up happy. Well-adjusted. We see that Homelander fully recognizes how broken and mangled a man he is.

Homelander wants Ryan to turn out better than him. He wants Ryan to turn out happier than him.

And we watch Stormfront ruin that pure, beautiful desire.

Stormfront corrupts him. He's vulnerable, he's weak-minded, after Stillwell. He knows what he wants, but he doesn't know how to do it or why, he knows what he desires, but he can't have it. And then Stormfront gives it to him. A supe who can not only take what he can dish out, but give it back just as well. A supe who sees him as good. A supe who seems to love him, truly.

She doesn't.

She, like all of his fans, loves WHAT he is, loves the IDEA of him, not Homelander himself.

He's blond, blue-eyed, white, and an omnipotent powerhouse.

And Stormfront is a nazi. How could she not love what he is and what he represents?

She manipulates him, turns him against his own idea of wanting to be good and convinces him that this brattiness, this pettiness, this immature need to be better than everyone is not a flaw, it's his birthright.

And Ryan is the product of that birthright. Ryan does not need to be better than Homelander, Ryan needs to learn from Homelander, learn to rule, to subjugate, because Homelander is a God, one who should rule the Earth, and Ryan is his Prince, destined to take over one day.

All of this is instilled into Homelander through Stormfront's manipulations. And on the one day every year that he's allowed to be treated like a person, the one day every year he gets a taste of humanity...

She does the one thing that would guarantee her lies stick like glue.

She dies.

She rips away the last person he ever thought he would have to live without, on the one day he never expected to be hurt on.

And we see that light, the one Ryan reignited, flicker.

He gets angry. He gets bitter. He realizes that, aside from Ryan, he is entirely peerless. Alone.

And Ryan must be nurtured, yes? Guided, right? Stormfront wanted the world for Ryan, and Homelander wants the best for his son, and so the world is exactly what Ryan will get. Homelander no longer cares about himself. He doesn't.

Homelander cannot be selfish past this point; he could drop dead then and there and as long as Ryan has the world in his palm, Homelander would die happy.

But he can't die. He won't die. Ryan needs him. Ryan deserves a father. Ryan deserves Homelander's life, his attention, his dedication.

And we see spots of vanity, yes. The preening, the pruning of grey hairs, the bitterness over his noticeable aging.

But these are not the same as selfishness. These are things integral to Homelander. He's supposed to be a God. God's don't age, why is he aging? It's so disgustingly human. That's what he thinks.

But it gives him a sense of urgency. He doesn't know how long he has. A year? Ten? Twenty? A hundred? Two hundred? More? Nobody knows, with supes. Some don't age at all, others age too fast, others age slowly, and Homelander is already a one-in-a-million fluke. Who's to say he won't suddenly age fifty years in the span of the next ten? Who's to say he'll ever age beyond what he is now?

He doesn't know. And he can't control it. He can't fight it. He can't change it. He has to prepare for the possibility he hates most.

He has to prepare for his death.

But then he learns who his father is. He learns that his father is alive, even. Soldier Boy, the idea that inspired Homelander. And he has to meet the man, has to introduce Ryan to his grandfather. We see that light in his eyes grow, because now he doesn't just have a son, he has a father.

The father he needed.

And when he finally meets him, finally gets face-to-face with the man who could so easily give him everything he ever wanted, the man who could fix him, show him what it means to be a parent...

He's rejected.

Soldier Boy tells him that he's pathetic, that he's nothing, that he's hardly even a man. Even the suit Homelander is so proud of isn't free from insult, with Soldier Boy saying "Look at you...You're wearing a goddamn cape..."

He has nothing but disappointment for what Homelander is, and resentment for the way Homelander was raised, but sees him as too far gone, too broken, too weak to fix. The only cure is death.

And once again, we see that light flicker.

He needs to be better than this man, DO better than this man.

And that means securing Ryan's place atop the world. This is why he calls in Sister Sage. Sister Sage is so incredibly intelligent, so beautifully smart, she can guarantee things he would never even figure out are possible. And, begrudgingly, he accepts her help.

But her help isn't giving him what he really wants most, because while putting Ryan atop the pyramid is his end goal, he wants Ryan's love just as badly. He wants to see the fruits of his efforts, to know that what he's doing is good and right, that it's best for Ryan.

And Ryan is showing him, at every turn, that it's not right.

Homelander kills for Ryan, and Ryan doesn't like it.

Homelander makes Ryan the object of public adoration, and Ryan doesn't like it.

Homelander is glad Billy's dying, and Ryan doesn't like it.

Everything Homelander does for Ryan, every effort he makes, is torn apart by the fact that Ryan doesn't want any of it. He wants a dad, not a coach, he wants a parent, not an instructor.

He wants a life, not godhood.

And Homelander has been so corrupted, so broken, so destroyed by every single person in his life that he cannot understand that.

To him, godhood and life are one and the same. Being alive is not a right, in his eyes, it is something that is deserved, earned, a reward, and he is the man to impress, he is the man to earn it from, and one day that man will be Ryan, and why can't Ryan see any of that?

None of this is in defense of Homelander. But I can't see one side of anything without seeing every other side of it.

And in Homelander's mind, he has done everything he can to be loved, to be appreciated, to be known and cared about...

And every single time, his power has caused people to hate him, to fear him. The only love he's ever known is that of the public and that of his son, and with every outburst, every conflict of interests, he is slowly losing that more and more.

And every time Ryan runs away from him, every time Ryan cries because of him, every time Ryan frowns over something Homelander has done, every human Ryan mourns, is a slap in the face. Water on the fire.

And we see that light drain from his eyes a little more each time.

I don't believe anything Homelander has done is justified.

But I do believe that, in his shoes, with his life, under all of the same circumstances...

I believe most of us would be no different than he is.

Broken.

Betrayed.

Abused.

Lashing out at every reminder of the pains of our existence.

A scared, angry child, with the power of a god, who was never shown that a better way does exist.

A wounded animal conditioned from birth to hate humans for what they did to it.

Homelander is tragic.

And I feel so very sorry for him.

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Adding onto this, spoilers below the cut.

It's only after Homelander faces his past that we see that light return, full-strength. He's slaughtered his demons, literally, and returns to Ryan with a new outlook.

For the first time, he truly, genuinely gives Ryan the power to say what he really thinks. He sees Ryan's discomfort and, like a good parent, asks him to voice it in a genuine effort to help.

And when Ryan asks him afterwards if he's really not mad, Homelander takes a moment to level with Ryan and admit his faults.

He apologizes for having been so manipulative, for having tried to force Ryan to live the life Homelander wanted for himself. He openly condemns the way he mistreated Ryan, and goes as far as assuring him that, from now on, Ryan is beholden to no master. Ryan doesn't have to posture, or play the hero. He can just be who he is.

Despite his bitterness, and his hatred, and the toxic ideas conditioned into his head from birth, he really, truly does want what's best for Ryan, and he is willing to reprimand himself, to condemn himself, even in Ryan's eyes, if it means a better life for his son.

Which, I think, shows the greatest leap of character growth in this entire series.

The man who would lie, cheat, steal, kill, do anything but die, for the sake of being loved...

Is now willing to villify his actions in the eyes of his son, if it means a better life for him.

We've already seen Butcher do this, presenting himself as the hateful old man to Ryan, just to get Ryan to abandon the idea of a family life with him, an act Butcher did out of love for Ryan and trying to protect him.

And Homelander, John, the man who spent this entire series doing everything in his power to be cast in positive light, to be loved, to be adored...

We've now seen him paint his actions in the light of villainy, condemn his methods, and damn his past, openly and honestly, to his son knowing that his son may hate him for what he's done.

He didn't do it because he thought Ryan would love him more for it.

He did it because Ryan needed to understand that Homelander is flawed, that he makes mistakes, and that he is the kind of man who not only owns up to his mistakes, but works to fix them too.

Homelander spent this entire series insisting he was flawless, perfect, a God.

To humanize himself in Ryan's eyes, specifically for the sake of leading by example that a good man admits when he's wrong and works to fix it...

He has shattered the shell, and come out different.

Better or worse, I've yet to see enough to know.

But what I do know is that this version of Homelander, this man who returned to his personal hell, destroyed his demons, and came out the other side, is a better father than he was before doing so.

He will do right by Ryan, to the best of his ability.

That much I'm sure of.

Thinking about how Homelander is actually so fucking tragic.

Raised to be the symbol of patriotism. Won the superpower lottery. Durable enough that a nuclear bomb wouldn't kill him, fast enough that nothing can outpace him, full freedom from gravity because of flight, laser vision that he can control the strength of to such a fine degree that he could cook popcorn or cauterize your brain in half and it's not even hard for him to do.

All of this, together, make him a god among men.

And it's so.

Fucking.

Boring.

And it's tragic, too.

It is.

I know, I know, "he's a fascist!!!" I get it, and you're right.

But look at what he's been through.

He was raised in a lab. No parents besides the scientists that studied him to figure out what he could and couldn't survive, what would and wouldn't hurt him, what he was capable of and how he could be useful.

At every turn, he was denied human connection in any meaningful way. His father was never in the picture, his mother was dead, he existed solely as a test subject, and as soon as he was old enough to be on TV, they wheeled him out like a shiny new toy and said "Look! It's the embodiment of America! The peak of human evolution!"

He has never, EVER known anything except two concepts: Fear and Blind Adoration.

The people who love him don't love HIM, they love the idea he represents. The people who know him fear him with all they have.

Spoilers for The Boys below

He finally meets someone who doesn't fear him, and claims to love him, and it's Stillwell. She doesn't fear him. But he doesn't realize the reason she doesn't fear him is because she thinks she has him under control. A little mommy-play here, a little milk there, and he's docile. She thinks she has him in her pocket.

But then she slips up. And out comes the truth. She's never loved him. Ever. She has always, always hated him, always been afraid of him. And suddenly all those happy memories of the only mother-figure he's ever known are tainted, ruined by the idea that she would have rather had him be dead than ever touch her, but she did what she felt she had to do so he would be a good boy.

And he doesn't understand. He was a good boy, wasn't he? His heart was in the right place, wasn't it? He only did what he thought would make her happy, and he tried to be have his best when she asked, didn't he? So why did she hate him so much? Why was she so afraid of him?

And it tears him up inside. It destroys him. He feels hurt, and angry, and scared, and it burns him up until that heat has nowhere to go but out.

And he kills her. And it kills him.

It's with Stillwell's death we see him truly change. He stops being the boy scout, in his own eyes. He just killed someone who meant everything to him. He killed someone he thought genuinely cared about him, saw him as good, and loved.

We watch him die right alongside her, and in that moment he performs one last act of kindness as he loses the final shred of hope in his heart: he saves Billy Butcher and makes sure that Stillwell's baby survives as well.

We see another kick in the head when he visits his "creator", the man in charge of the Homelander experiment that gave birth to him. And this man says he is nothing but a failure. A living embodiment of all that man did wrong, and all that man failed to achieve. He says that Homelander is nothing but one big failed experiment, and is his greatest regret in life.

Flash ahead. He's unchained, mostly. Edgar is still in control of him, but Edgar doesn't care enough to tug the leash. He expects Homelander to tie his own chain, and if he doesn't, then Edgar will yank it and choke the bastard for all he's worth until he sits, heels, like a good little attack dog.

And for the most part this works. Homelander stays under Edgar's radar, his descent hardly noticed, because he doesn't do anything that Vaught can track that he wouldn't have done before Stillwell's death.

All the while, mourning the loss of the only person to ever even pretend to care about him.

And then we meet Ryan, and realize who he is.

And when Homelander learns he has a son, we see something special, something that, until now, didn't seem possible.

We see the light come back into his eyes.

We see him start to hope again.

A son. The perfect opportunity to do better, to prove he is, in fact, a good man. If he can just do right by Ryan, if he can raise him right, be a good dad to him, show him the love, and compassion, and care that he never knew, then Ryan could grow up happy. Well-adjusted. We see that Homelander fully recognizes how broken and mangled a man he is.

Homelander wants Ryan to turn out better than him. He wants Ryan to turn out happier than him.

And we watch Stormfront ruin that pure, beautiful desire.

Stormfront corrupts him. He's vulnerable, he's weak-minded, after Stillwell. He knows what he wants, but he doesn't know how to do it or why, he knows what he desires, but he can't have it. And then Stormfront gives it to him. A supe who can not only take what he can dish out, but give it back just as well. A supe who sees him as good. A supe who seems to love him, truly.

She doesn't.

She, like all of his fans, loves WHAT he is, loves the IDEA of him, not Homelander himself.

He's blond, blue-eyed, white, and an omnipotent powerhouse.

And Stormfront is a nazi. How could she not love what he is and what he represents?

She manipulates him, turns him against his own idea of wanting to be good and convinces him that this brattiness, this pettiness, this immature need to be better than everyone is not a flaw, it's his birthright.

And Ryan is the product of that birthright. Ryan does not need to be better than Homelander, Ryan needs to learn from Homelander, learn to rule, to subjugate, because Homelander is a God, one who should rule the Earth, and Ryan is his Prince, destined to take over one day.

All of this is instilled into Homelander through Stormfront's manipulations. And on the one day every year that he's allowed to be treated like a person, the one day every year he gets a taste of humanity...

She does the one thing that would guarantee her lies stick like glue.

She dies.

She rips away the last person he ever thought he would have to live without, on the one day he never expected to be hurt on.

And we see that light, the one Ryan reignited, flicker.

He gets angry. He gets bitter. He realizes that, aside from Ryan, he is entirely peerless. Alone.

And Ryan must be nurtured, yes? Guided, right? Stormfront wanted the world for Ryan, and Homelander wants the best for his son, and so the world is exactly what Ryan will get. Homelander no longer cares about himself. He doesn't.

Homelander cannot be selfish past this point; he could drop dead then and there and as long as Ryan has the world in his palm, Homelander would die happy.

But he can't die. He won't die. Ryan needs him. Ryan deserves a father. Ryan deserves Homelander's life, his attention, his dedication.

And we see spots of vanity, yes. The preening, the pruning of grey hairs, the bitterness over his noticeable aging.

But these are not the same as selfishness. These are things integral to Homelander. He's supposed to be a God. God's don't age, why is he aging? It's so disgustingly human. That's what he thinks.

But it gives him a sense of urgency. He doesn't know how long he has. A year? Ten? Twenty? A hundred? Two hundred? More? Nobody knows, with supes. Some don't age at all, others age too fast, others age slowly, and Homelander is already a one-in-a-million fluke. Who's to say he won't suddenly age fifty years in the span of the next ten? Who's to say he'll ever age beyond what he is now?

He doesn't know. And he can't control it. He can't fight it. He can't change it. He has to prepare for the possibility he hates most.

He has to prepare for his death.

But then he learns who his father is. He learns that his father is alive, even. Soldier Boy, the idea that inspired Homelander. And he has to meet the man, has to introduce Ryan to his grandfather. We see that light in his eyes grow, because now he doesn't just have a son, he has a father.

The father he needed.

And when he finally meets him, finally gets face-to-face with the man who could so easily give him everything he ever wanted, the man who could fix him, show him what it means to be a parent...

He's rejected.

Soldier Boy tells him that he's pathetic, that he's nothing, that he's hardly even a man. Even the suit Homelander is so proud of isn't free from insult, with Soldier Boy saying "Look at you...You're wearing a goddamn cape..."

He has nothing but disappointment for what Homelander is, and resentment for the way Homelander was raised, but sees him as too far gone, too broken, too weak to fix. The only cure is death.

And once again, we see that light flicker.

He needs to be better than this man, DO better than this man.

And that means securing Ryan's place atop the world. This is why he calls in Sister Sage. Sister Sage is so incredibly intelligent, so beautifully smart, she can guarantee things he would never even figure out are possible. And, begrudgingly, he accepts her help.

But her help isn't giving him what he really wants most, because while putting Ryan atop the pyramid is his end goal, he wants Ryan's love just as badly. He wants to see the fruits of his efforts, to know that what he's doing is good and right, that it's best for Ryan.

And Ryan is showing him, at every turn, that it's not right.

Homelander kills for Ryan, and Ryan doesn't like it.

Homelander makes Ryan the object of public adoration, and Ryan doesn't like it.

Homelander is glad Billy's dying, and Ryan doesn't like it.

Everything Homelander does for Ryan, every effort he makes, is torn apart by the fact that Ryan doesn't want any of it. He wants a dad, not a coach, he wants a parent, not an instructor.

He wants a life, not godhood.

And Homelander has been so corrupted, so broken, so destroyed by every single person in his life that he cannot understand that.

To him, godhood and life are one and the same. Being alive is not a right, in his eyes, it is something that is deserved, earned, a reward, and he is the man to impress, he is the man to earn it from, and one day that man will be Ryan, and why can't Ryan see any of that?

None of this is in defense of Homelander. But I can't see one side of anything without seeing every other side of it.

And in Homelander's mind, he has done everything he can to be loved, to be appreciated, to be known and cared about...

And every single time, his power has caused people to hate him, to fear him. The only love he's ever known is that of the public and that of his son, and with every outburst, every conflict of interests, he is slowly losing that more and more.

And every time Ryan runs away from him, every time Ryan cries because of him, every time Ryan frowns over something Homelander has done, every human Ryan mourns, is a slap in the face. Water on the fire.

And we see that light drain from his eyes a little more each time.

I don't believe anything Homelander has done is justified.

But I do believe that, in his shoes, with his life, under all of the same circumstances...

I believe most of us would be no different than he is.

Broken.

Betrayed.

Abused.

Lashing out at every reminder of the pains of our existence.

A scared, angry child, with the power of a god, who was never shown that a better way does exist.

A wounded animal conditioned from birth to hate humans for what they did to it.

Homelander is tragic.

And I feel so very sorry for him.