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A mi lado cuatro patas

A cada lado

Siento el suave pesar de las garras

Que se posan sobre la piel

Cual abrazo fuerte en la más pesada depresión

Ronquidos que parecen la música de fondo

En un jazz-bar cuando me nublo.

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Más no. Hay días que no encuentro consuelo, ni cariño, ni amor suficiente para dejar de pensar en lo hostil del mundo.

Ahí les veo a ustedes, siendo unxs mierdas. Y ahí me veo yo, del otro lado. Del otro lado porque mi hermano todos los días va y viene del hospital contando muertxs, internadxs, y compañeres contagiades.

Y me siento apartada del otro lado, pero solo mentalmente. Qué mierda me parece que ustedes se estén cagando en todo y que compartamos las redes, el mundo, el vivir. Así me siento hoy.

Una tristeza que ñao tem fin.

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Hace tiempo dejé de flashear con la espiritualidad falopa que te hace reproducir frases similares= a las neoliberales. Con razón no me cerraban esos statements tan individuales, tan poco contextualizados, tan neoliberales.

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Qué hermosa noche para que vuelvan esos pensamientos y recuerdos de mi misma, dijo nadie nunca.

Recuerdos de soledad, en mi casa cuando era chica. Éramos 4, pero dos eran los más compinches del mundo, otro faltaba y quedaba yo, con los abrazos de mi perro.

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from Feminist Killjoys (And Other Willful Subjects), Sara Ahmed

So, yes, let’s take the figure of the feminist killjoy seriously. Does the feminist kill other people’s joy by pointing out moments of sexism? Or does she expose the bad feelings that get hidden, displaced, or negated under public signs of joy? Does bad feeling enter the room when somebody expresses anger about things, or could anger be the moment when the bad feelings that circulate through objects get brought to the surface in a certain way? The feminist subject “in the room” hence “brings others down” not only by talking about unhappy topics such as sexism but by exposing how happiness is sustained by erasing the signs of not getting along. Feminists do kill joy in a certain sense: they disturb the very fantasy that happiness can be found in certain places. To kill a fantasy can still kill a feeling. It is not just that feminists might not be happily affected by what is supposed to cause happiness, but our failure to be happy is read as sabotaging the happiness of others.

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So we talked about little things, how words lose their meaning when you repeat them over and over; how all people of the Negro race look alike until you get to know them individually; how we always liked the age we were at best.

Sylvia Plath

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No nos une el amor, poema de Jose Sbarra

No, naturalmente, no nos une el amor sobrevivimos sin amarnos ¿Cómo podríamos amarnos? Nadie ama a un desdichado salvo que se trate de un hermoso príncipe de cuentos y su desdicha sea sólo aburrimiento o hartazgo.

Nos cansa pronto escuchar un gemido y más aún cuando no proviene de un bello infante Abandonado en una cesta a orillas de un lago de garzas y flamencos.

No, los desdichados estamos confinados a sobrevivir en la soledad masticando nuestra humillación como un veneno que nunca nos mata.

No, naturalmente, no nos une el amor en todo caso, lo que nos une es un idéntico resentimiento una misma rebelión, una rebelión tan desmesurada que acaba por volverse estéril. No es una rebelión genuinamente política ni religiosa, es la rebelión de nuestro origen contra sí mismo de nuestra sangre contra sí misma de nuestra nada contra la nada o de nuestro cielo contra el cielo de los otros. Es la rebelión de los que sufrimos porque deseamos algo que no existe.

No, naturalmente, no nos une el amor nos une el magnetismo de esta casa; nos une este laboratorio del dolor; nos une este cuarto que nos aísla del Insulto, del bostezo indiferente de la calle, de las lluvias heladas del invierno, del sol ardiente del verano; nos une este lugar en el que somos contenidos y este tiempo que nos mide.

No, naturalmente, no nos une el amor nos une la misma búsqueda (o la misma fuga) Nos unen, en definitiva, los mismos interrogantes, las mismas ignorancias y el mismo deseo (una bruta ansiedad) por conocer al menos el por qué de nuestro sufrimiento.

No, naturalmente, no nos une el amor nos une, en el mejor de los casos, el terror a la soledad completa, la incapacidad de amar a otro ser sin sentirnos inferiores y humillados. Nos une un orgullo que se alza cuando más desmoronados estamos. Nos une la incredulidad de que alguien diferente pueda amarnos.

No nos une el amor nos une la vergüenza. Nos une el pudor de saber tan íntimamente cómo es el otro y de no saber con la misma intimidad quién es el otro. Nos une un raro temor, algo así como una envidia anticipada por si uno de los dos ingresa al mundo de los seres dichosos. Nos unen todas las bajezas visibles y las previsibles. Nos une el fracaso como un pacto de niños, firmado con sangre y alfileres.

No, no nos une el amor ni la esperanza de alguna vez amarnos nos une nuestro empecinamiento contra las insalvables distancias que nos separan. Nos une la inercia de dos esculturas que, comparten una plaza: cada una sobre su piedra sin poder alejarse un solo paso pero también sin poder acercarse un solo paso. Nos une ese acercamiento incompleto ese mirarnos cada uno desde su altura (o desde su miseria) Nos une un largo silencio cargado de palabras que pesan demasiado para decirlas así porque sí, sin garantías de que no estallen en los labios al pronunciarlas.

No, no nos une el amor que es un puente lo que nos une es un abismo. Nos une este lamento que trazamos las tardes de lluvia como dos gatos arrinconados por niños armados con piedras. Nos une este lamento como una esperanza involuntaria, inconsciente, de que él nos salve.

No, no nos une el amor quizá sea el infortunio el que nos obliga a aferramos con tanta vehemencia, quizá sea este viento por el que nos dejamos arrastrar o quizá sea esta penumbra que nos desdibuja.

No, no nos une el amor nos une el acicate de una soledad idéntica y diferente y no es únicamente el temor a la soledad presente es también la premonición de encontrarnos solos en el futuro.

José Sbarra de su libro Obsesión de vivir

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“People learn to identify with love the way they identify with commodities: the notions of personal autonomy, consent, choice, and fulfillment so powerful in love discourse seem to be the same as those promised by national capitalism. At the same time, romance is a vehicle for marketing heterosexuality as the very form of fantasy and also the normal context in which fantasy can be lived, but not in a generic way: the heteronormative love plot is at its most ideological when it produces subjects who believe that their love story expresses their true, nuanced, and unique feelings, their own personal destiny.”

— Lauren Berlant, Desire/Love

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“Why do people stay attached to conventional good-life fantasies—say, of enduring reciprocity in couples, families, political systems, institutions, markets, and at work—when the evidence of their instability, fragility, and dear cost abounds?”

— Berlant, Lauren. Cruel Optimism. Durham: Duke UP, 2011. Print. 2.

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Wallace Polsom, There’s a New Sheriff in Town (2020), paper collage, 20.4 x 27.4 cm.

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Submit YOUR Tattoo to 700,000+ Tattoo fans

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#Day257 - The Theory of the Twin Flame Union

Hi Starlit Souls!

I want to talk about the theory of “twin flames” and a twin flame union, mostly because it’s been on my mind! From the information I have gathered and resonated with through my own life experiences, my idea of a twin flame is this: A twin flame is another aspect of your OWN soul energy that is attracted to you through vibration, to ideally bring another’s physical body or energy field into balance with the portion of energy you currently carry within your body, the ideal result being an evenly distributed amount of harmonic energy so that both individuals can benefit from the creative energy that is birthed through their newly discovered state of union. WHOA. That is probably unlike any definition of a twin flame you have ever heard, but that is the meaning as I have come to understand it, so if you don’t resonate with it, that’s okay! Just continue to read with an open mind to see where i’m going with this. :)

Ever heard of soulmates? Sure you have, who hasn’t!? To me, the term soulmate is too limiting of a concept. To think that the universe made only one other soul incarnate on this planet to complement me perfectly (romantically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally etc) never resonated with me, but perhaps it does with you. Perhaps you are in an extremely loving, self-fufilling relationship with your significant other and problems really are few and far between, so you feel like he or she is your soulmate, and they may very well be!!! Who am I to say what you are feeling is wrong? I am just introducing the concept of the twin flame as the alternative to the soulmate theory, because not all people resonate with that theory, you see? Some people will be able to relate to the twin flame theory, and some will better relate to the soulmate theory - it’s up to you to decide and know your personal truths. The twin flame energy has been influencing my life since I was a child… but more on that in my book ;). I’ve REALLY become aware of its presence in my life over the past 5 years or so, even though I only learned this year of the ‘twin flame’ concept, so this is what I am basing my understanding on.

So, your twin flame is an ENERGY that enters your life through the form of another person and reflects back at you all that you are projecting as reality inside your mind. For instance, let’s say you repeatedly have the same trust issues with the people you date. What is really happening is that each new person you date is reflecting back to you the lack of trust you have in your SELF, but we have been raised to believe it is always the 'other’ person that is the problem, and that once you remove that person, you remove the problem. THIS IS NOT SO. That issue will continue to arise in your next relationship because YOU ARE CREATING IT with your own fears. Once you come to terms with your own self-trust issues and start consciously working through them, ONLY then will that issue stop presenting itself in your future relationships!!! In a sense, that self-created issue that you are perceiving as a negative cycle in your life, or what you have have always referred to as a 'personal demon’, is actually your twin flame energy, trying to to make you understand the lesson at hand! What is that lesson? Face your fears!! Face them, confront them, and see them for what they truly are. For they are made from the light, and they are OF the light, and they are here to guide us back to our true selves!! Yes, what I’m saying is FACT. We only perceive problems because we choose to cling to them! If you released your problems (worry, shame, self-hate, anger, judgement, etc) you would find that there is actually nothing wrong at all. We CAN live in a state of pure awareness, where we come to realize that every thought we think and every action we take affects those around us - either positively or negatively according to the energetic vibration of our own thoughts and actions. Do you see the power we contain inside our minds, that has been hidden from us? Do you see how our sense of 'identity’ and belonging in this world are simply ideas about ourselves that have been passed down to us over time, generation after generation, from the different class, religious, ethnic and social groups we all think we belong to?  And that when you remove all that, you are standing in the true light and purity of your being? That is who we truly are. We are one, and I am here to spread the news of this unified consciousness that is now available to each of us. I and so many others have lived too long in this 'dreaded’ darkness, and we ALL deserve to know that our shackles are self-created, and that we can remove them and step into the light at ANY MOMENT we choose to.

Alright, got a little off topic there, but that is just because this entire topic ignites the massive loving flame inside my heart even more and I wish for all people to see that all problems are simply obstacles that we subconsciously create to bring us back to our true selves, to direct us back to our authentic path. And there is always a way to find the light, in ANY situation, if you look for it!! It is always there, just waiting and willing to be invited into your life!! :) Okay, now back to the twin flame concept.

I don’t like to go into too much detail about my relationship out of respect for my significant other, so I will only touch on this briefly. The important thing is I learned the lessons I was meant to learn in this union, and we are both now living in a more peaceful, loving coexistence with each other (which I attribute to my own progress with self-love, of course!).  My twin flame energy presented itself in the form of my current relationship about 5 years ago. First of all, when I met the embodiment of my twin, I had an inner knowing that we were about to embark on some sort of adventure or life-altering experience together… we were drawn to one another in an unexpected way.  What I initially thought was going to be a fun adventure turned out to be a crazy rollercoaster ride of emotion that took my soul to the highest of highs and lowest of lows. It was ALL of my own creation but I was so caught in the illusion of it all, that whenever an issue would present itself, I’d run & hide and confide in others and would not take any responsibility for my part in the situation, which was a HUGE denial on my part that began manifesting in many other areas of my physical life, so to speak. The wonderful thing is, once I woke up and accepted my responsibility for the problems or issues that continued to arise between us, and stopped blaming “him” (“the other”) for what I was feeling, I had taken my power back, and as a result we BOTH now benefit from my more balanced state of mind! It is, in short, a miracle!! :) Now that our creative energy has stopped trying to manifest 'issues’ between us, it is free to help us both expand our worlds! (Mind you, this does take serious work, so be prepared for all issues to come to the surface first!) We are both consciously creating the life of our dreams now, whether or not it is “ideal” by current society’s standards. We are going with the flow of life, we watch for signs and synchronicities together, and we KNOW when a higher force has intervened in a situation. It is so fun to experience life this way now, so in my mind, our real adventure has just begun!!

When you and your twin flame energy unite in this way, there is nothing you cannot do together!!! There is a constant state of balance that is flowing from and within YOU, so it flows out onto every aspect of your life, including your spouse or significant other! It is a merging of the grounded, nurturing earth with the fiery strength, passion, and fluidity of the oceans waters. It is acceptance of the truth that balanced yin and yang energies (as in, union with SELF - “the other” is just a reflection of that self) has the power to heal all that we have unconsciously created in our lives. There are SO MANY PERKS to this union with yourself - and you don’t have to do anything but start loving yourself!!!!  :)

If you are having problems in your own relationships, try and apply this “take responsibility” mindset and see how you begin to perceive things differently, and how you begin to react differently to your twin. You will begin to do so from a more loving state of mind, and when one person is centered, it is not hard for the other person to settle and become centered as well. It takes a lot of patience, practice, and forgiveness, but keep shining the light of self-love on any issue you encounter and watch it slowly (but surely) dissolve in the light.

Love & Light ALWAYS :)

Heather

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Unquenchable desire for interconnectedness. Sate me. ~Truth Devour

www.soulmatereading.com 

Art: Arianna Ruffinengo