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And so I have my answer. Implorando perdono aspetto di rinascere.
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Making myself sick with my own deeply negative thoughts and what ifs. I need to let it go. Anything that could have happened while I was gone already did. Its not my decision to make. I just know I love her and want what's best for her. She will always be my best friend. My number 1 in life. My soulmate. My everything.
-1 month, -6 days, -2 hours, -3537 seconds
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Its been a month since I've posted. Happy anniversary...... even if I am the only one celebrating. Love you.
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Happy birthday. I know you won't see it, but I love you and I'm sending you warm wishes.
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Finished the art yesterday....working on the final editing now..... hope she appreciates it....
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Well shit. This is gonna suck. I didn't even see her... I didn't even know that she was gonna be there. I didn't even say anything to her family. Like.... I've been trying to be as respectful as possible..... sometimes you just can't win.
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Getting closer and closer every day to finishing book 1, as well as getting closer to being able to legally talk to her again. I won't harass her or anything, but she will receive a bit of mail from me. No matter what to me thats my soul mate. She is my one and only. I'm strong now than I have ever been before. If only she could see me now. I would do anything for her.
3 months, 9 days, 8 hours, 2330 seconds
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Half way done with the art for book 1!:) woop woop! At this rate its very likely for me to make my deadline!:) I'm doing it Emily. Just like I said I would. Thank you for helping me make such a cool piece of art. Your inspiration is all I need now:)
3 months, 12 days, 19 hours, 1673 seconds
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Making progress on my life and the book. Doing my best to strive and move forward. I'm running off of love now, before it was spite. Honestly I'm not sure which is stronger, but I do know which makes me happier. Anyway heres to the future I plan on making for us. Even if she never joins me for it.
3 months, 17 days, 10 hours, 153 seconds
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Man its been crazy for me lately, but in a good way:) training to be a manager is fun. Also working on my art for the book in my free time. Honestly the only thing id change is doing it with her. I miss all the time we'd spend together working on the G.O.E.... I'm not sure if she ever realized that it was always going to be a love story for us. That was the whole point. It always was. Yes it has a lot of stuff not pertaining to love, but in essence thats what it is. Can't wait to show her one day.... hopefully soon.
3 months, 19 days, 19 hours, 3360 seconds
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I honestly think if she knew she'd be proud of me. At least I'd like to think so. I've worked extra hard and I hope I'll get to show her one day. She's still all I ever think about. She is my love.
3 months, 25 days, 9 hours, 1477 seconds
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From someone who let borderline personality disorder ruin their lives by living undiagnosed let me just spread awareness. Its a cluster b personality disorder and is often paired with things like suicidal thoughts, extreme angers, and dissociation. Other things like memory loss have been linked to it. If these things sound anything like you I advise you to visit a therapist and get diagnosed.
3 months, 27 days, 10 hours, 273 seconds
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From someone who let borderline personality disorder ruin their lives by living undiagnosed let me just spread awareness. Its a cluster b personality disorder and is often paired with things like suicidal thoughts, extreme angers, and dissociation. Other things like memory loss have been linked to it. If these things sound anything like you I advise you to visit a therapist and get diagnosed.
3 months, 27 days, 10 hours, 273 seconds
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From someone who let borderline personality disorder ruin their lives by living undiagnosed let me just spread awareness. Its a cluster b personality disorder and is often paired with things like suicidal thoughts, extreme angers, and dissociation. Other things like memory loss have been linked to it. If these things sound anything like you I advise you to visit a therapist and get diagnosed.
3 months, 27 days, 10 hours, 273 seconds
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Sometimes you love someone so much and there's nothing you can do or say to make it better. Sometimss you have to just accept you fucked up. Sometimes its hard. My love for her is like nothing else, the flame won't wither the candle won't melt. (I just really like candles and lamps.)
3 months, 27 days, 10 hours, 1966 seconds
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I just miss the hell out of her. All I want is to be the reason she smiles again. I want to provide for her. I want to be hers again. I just want her back. I want a second chance to show that I'm better now, Because this time I know I am. I'll never stop loving her. I'll never stop trying to be there for her.
3 months, 30 days, 21 hours, 1512 seconds
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I saw them and wanted to say something so badly. I didn't. I don't think they're ready for it. Maybe it'll show that I've matured. I don't know. Just know I'll have my chance eventually.
4 months, 0 days, 9 hours, 1543 seconds
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