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you ever have situations that make you want to take people by the shoulders and go "you are not 15 any longer. this behavior is no longer quirky and cute. it is exhausting for you and everyone else to act like a teenager you haven't been in a decade or longer. knock it the fuck off"

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you know how people call characters their wives/husbands/etc? well, i think i’m going to start claiming relations to fictional characters just to fuck with people. so, anyways, this one time i was out with my cousin, sonic the hedgehog, and

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For weird dice Wednesday: my bf’s new revolver barrel set!

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hey um. did you know you're cute and smart and pretty. and you're kind. and you're good

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I am consuming a media and you are going to hear about it

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you! guy who likes fictional lesbians to the point of feeling a strange sense of pain! you can be a lesbian. but there are some steps you have to complete first

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i sat my white ass down and got tortured

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*covered in blood* I'm literally fine guys. im still funny. Would you like to hear a joke Im going to tell you a joke

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im too fucking aromantic for this shit

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@dragondroid

Me at age 8: I might not have any friends, but I can make imaginary friends with rich social lives to fill that hole. I bet when I’m older I’ll grow out of this. 

Me at age 20: I need to make another OC to try and simulate human connection or else I’m gonna lose my mind.

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So what are people's relationships to New York City like?

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link to original tweet

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“Do you think seahorses write fpreg” and the many other riveting things my friend texts me right before I go to work

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Death is a natural part of life. Not your death though. Your death is gonna be super fucked up.

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There's a stairway to heaven and a highway to hell, but the midnight train goes anywhere. Trains are clearly the superior transit method.

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YOU don’t have to be perfect to be loved. but I do