cartsurferjon

[cartsurferjon]

walk along the edge of danger

and it will change you

[cartsurferjon]

Lalalala

[cartsurferjon]

Took a wrong turn somewhere

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Guy whose wife comes out to him as a lesbian and he just sighs and starts googling ‘estrogen near me’

[cartsurferjon]

[cartsurferjon]

man inflation's hittin hard

[cartsurferjon]

i understand why people like the queue and i do respect you guys for using it but that is just not how i roll. if i think these 37 posts are funny you’re seeing them right fucking now

[cartsurferjon]

[cartsurferjon]

I read an AITA post a few weeks back about a woman who liked having snacks in the bath when she's had a long day (a result of residual trauma iirc - the bath was her safe space). Her brand new husband of three weeks, a man twice her age who had no job, made her pay all of his bills and do all housework, and spent all day every day gaming because he wanted to make it as a Twitch streamer, had always been fine with this; but, on the day in question, had whisked her bath snacks out of her hands as she was on her way to the bathroom and tried to bin them, telling her it was time to 'break her of that filthy habit in his home'. She told him if he ever actually paid anything towards the house she owns outright he might get a say, took her snacks back, and had her lovely bath. He was since giving her the silent treatment.

(Obviously the judgement was an avalanche of 'NTA and also he's abusing you', which she agreed with, and decided to kick him out, so happy ending.)

Anyway I told my husband about this and he was outraged. "I would never do that!" he told me, furious. "I would find it adorable if you had bath snacks!"

Since then, every time I try to have a bath (which I only do as a rare treat) after about ten minutes there has been an anxious scrabbling at the bathroom door.

"Elanor!" he says. "Do you have bath snacks? Do you need anything?"

My answer is irrelevant. He brings me wine and poptarts. Now I have bath snacks. I'm a bath snacks person. Last time he was literally sleeping on the sofa when I went for the bath. Somehow this still happened. I now have an eager bathroom butler. How did this happen. I have never been so decadent yet bewildered.

[cartsurferjon]

Finding my mother’s sugar daddy’s tumblr with a handful of furry drawings on it was easily the worst thing I’ve done in my life

[cartsurferjon]

Erm. Uhhhmmm (*´_ゝ｀) hi

[cartsurferjon]

not the bell tolling LMAOOOO 🙈 i wonder for whom 🤔

[cartsurferjon]

You never had a boyfriend? Like this is so suprising you deserve a hot and loving boyfriend

I don’t want somebody in my house

[cartsurferjon]

I walk this lonely road The only road that I have ever known

[cartsurferjon]

on the topic of burner emails though. my brother has a terrifyingly large number of them and also so so many online like. alter egos. for the bit. and i only found this out because he ordered pizza but didn’t realise it was with an account under the name oliver cromwell. and i answered the door like no the lord protector does not live here actually i think you have the wrong address. and he had to come and say hi no actually that’s me. i’m oliver cromwell :/