carmen-kray

[carmen-kray]

#Positivity Protocol! 😄💙☀️ Send this to ten muns who you think portray their muses so damn well and are just generally awesome! 😘

Aww I love this and u @the-solomons so much!! ❤️❤️ Thank u lovely 😘

[carmen-kray]

[carmen-kray]

Until you’re back home

It was a rare night of complete bliss, no distractions from the club or any other ‘business’ issues. Reggie and I were sitting on the sofa putting the world to rights, I’m the only person Reg can truly open up to about anything without the fear of being judged.

“You know; sometimes I think about leaving this all behind, going straight. Could you imagine it? Me and you C, living above board?”

I raised an eyebrow, “No” I laughed. He chuckled.

“Really? You can’t picture it at all love?”

“I mean I know it sounds bad, but we’re so good at being a criminals it’s all we’ve really ever known. What else would we be good at?” I said laughing.

“You never know C, I could be a dab hand at something like decorating or cooking for all we know”

“You lost me at the cooking bit Reg, there is no way that will ever happen. I’m lucky to have a house to come home to after some of your kitchen fiascos”.

This made us both laugh, it was no secret that Reggie wasn’t the most domestic person in the world, he did try though bless him.

“Seriously though C, it’s you I feel for. I mean how many times have you been brought in for questioning about something me or Ron’s done? The last time it was hitting 26 hours they had you in that interrogation room. I don’t want that type of life for you, you deserve better than that” he was being completely sincere, he hated it when I was brought in for questioning and felt the stress it put me under when we started dating was his fault.

I cope with it better now mind you, they say practise makes perfect don’t they? I guess you could call me an expert at playing the ‘innocent housewife’ act, it’s not something I am proud of right enough. Obviously I didn’t spend my childhood dreaming of growing up to be a business woman who broke the law to get to where she is, I certainly didn’t dream of falling in love with a criminal, a man who I know I would do anything for, anything to keep him by my side even if it meant lying under oath.

A light crashing noise outside brought me out of my train of thought, I looked at Reggie sitting next to me, my eyes widened. He got up sharply from the couch, picking his gun up from the table situated beside us, and made his way to the kitchen to go and see who was there, it sounded like the gate out the back of our house.

“I swear to god if that’s Albie, I’m going to go crazy, he is not camping out on this sofa and eating all our food for days on end again”

There was an uncertain silence, surely if it was Albie he would of said so by now right? Or if it was Ron he would of grunted a “guess who” with a light chuckle like he always does.

“Babe? who is it?” I said after a few seconds. Still nothing. I was starting to get worried. I stood up slowly and carefully walked down along the hallway to the kitchen. Reggie was aware of my presence, he spoke softly “I don’t want you to panic okay love? I want you to remain absolutely calm”

Now I was really freaking out. What was there to panic about? should I be panicking? Why was I to remain calm? That horrible distant sickly pain appeared in my stomach and all these thoughts started rushing through my mind. Before I even had time to rationalise, there was a firm knock at the back door.

Reggie opened it to reveal a sea of uniformed men. I recognised the one at the front, the chief so to speak, it was none other than Nipper Read, the very man responsible for questioning me for hours on end. He smirked at me as he coolly announced “Reginald Kray, you are under arrest on suspicion of protection racketeering, you do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence.”

My whole body went numb. It felt like the blood inside me had went ice cold. I felt completely powerless, not to mention the pain in my heart. I felt a lump in my throat like I had dry swallowed a large pill, that’s when the tears started flooding down my face.

I grabbed Reggie’s hand pulling him towards me and wrapping my arms around his neck. He held me for what felt like only seconds, but was probably much longer, running his hand through my hair as I cried, he lowered his head to my ear and said “everything’s going to be okay Carmen, I promise”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep Kray” snapped Nipper Read behind us. Nor I or Reggie batted an eyelid, he wasn’t worth it.

“I love you so much, okay baby? We’ll be back together soon” he said quitely into my ear.

“I love you so much” I said through shaky breaths. He looked down into my eyes before pressing a soft kiss against my forehead.

I couldn’t let go of him, until they were physically pulling him away from me. I stood at the back door with my hand over my mouth as they led him away, the cold winter air blew against my face causing me to shiver but nothing compared to the pain I felt in my chest. I watched as they put him in the police car, I knew then I had to be strong. I’m not like the other girlfriends, I knew what I was getting myself into from the very beginning. It was time to call the family lawyer, practise my “I don’t know what you’re talking about officer” act and make sure I got Reg out of there as soon as possible. He didn’t belong in a prison cell, there was only one placed my Reggie belonged, and it was at home with me.

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“Cause when he’s on the line the world stands still”

“How’s the business holding up then love?” Reggie mutters into the phone.

“Yeah things are going well babe, me and Ron are working well together, we are a better team than I expected” I laughed, trying to make light of the less than optimal situation. A slight chuckle came from the other end of the phone, follow by a lengthy silence. Reggie struggled to express himself often, but he didn’t want to seem cold towards the woman who had stood by him through everything, so he stepped out of his comfort zone.

“And um... what about you then? How are you holding up?” I sighed deeply, I was trying to avoid telling him how I was really feeling, I didn’t want him to feel guilty about leaving me. On the other hand, I definitely did not want to brush off my feelings and make him feel like I didn’t care. I have experienced having a loved one inside after my father was imprisoned for a short period of time when I was 12 for protection racketeering, so this isn’t my first prison phone call. This seemed different though, the man on the other end of the phone was Reggie, my soul mate, my literal other half, I just needed to speak from my heart.

“It’s been hard, I mean we knew it would be. During the day I can keep myself busy and try not to think about it. But it’s the nights that kill me Reg, sleeping without you is horrible.” He sighed, he felt guilty.

“I’m sorry” he said after a few seconds. It was heartfelt, I could tell. After multiple late night heart to hearts and deep conversations about life I could tell when Reggie was being real with me. The last thing I wanted though was for him to feel guilty about leaving me, it wasn’t really his fault, I know what I signed up for being with him and in all honesty it’s a small price to pay for the happiness I have when we’re at our best, those nights where we walk home from the club hand in hand instead of taking the car, with not a care in the world, when we lay awake at night talking about the future, those are the moment that make everything seem worth it.

“It’s alright babe, you know I’ve never blamed you for any of this. You are what you are and that’s what I feel in love with, I don’t want you to feel guilty because I’m out here without you, I want you to focus on fighting through like I know you always do and keeping your nose clean best you can so I can be back in your arms in no time” he chuckled, he’d never been very good at ‘keeping his nose clean’ to be honest I’m surprised this is only his second time being inside, considering I know all the things him and Ron have got up to over the years, in a way we’ve been pretty lucky up until now.

“I’ll try my best a’right? I gotta go, this guard is breathing down my kneck, typical isn’t it. I love you Carmen. And you know what love, I promise when this is all over I’ll make you Mrs Kray”

I chuckle at his promise, we had always spoke about getting married but with one thing or another keeping us busy we’ve never had the time. We always knew we would right enough, no doubt about that, we’ve been together since I was 18, and I can honestly say no man has ever made me feel the way he does.

“I’ll hold you to that Kray, I love you baby” I laugh into the phone. With that the line goes dead, until next time. Inside I hope the next time I talk to him he will be phoning to tell me he’s getting out, I can only hope for now that the man I love will be free and back home with me in no time.

[carmen-kray]

[carmen-kray]

[carmen-kray]

⚘⚘ send this to ten RP blogs you think are amazing. spread the love. ( ﾉ ꒪▿꒪)ﾉ*

Aww thank you Beautiful! Love your blog too! My fave 😍x

[carmen-kray]

[carmen-kray]

[carmen-kray]

Hey Lovelies!

I’m really sorry for my absence this past week, i haven’t abandoned this blog, I’ve just been super busy with family stuff, studying and honestly just taking some time off for myself.

I hope you all understand, and I will try to start posting again in the next few days!

Lots of love xx

[carmen-kray]

“Aw that’s really sweet Alfie, I might take you up on that offer when George is a little older, the way things are just now I wouldn’t want his crying keeping you and the kids up all night” Carmen says.

She looks over to her niece, Aliza had always been so good with George, she always wanted to help take care of him which was so adorable. Carmen would love a little girl some day, someone to pass on her knowledge of fashion to and to teach her to grow up to be a strong independent women just like her mum is.

“I’m going to go inside and see if Pol needs any help, s’been lovely talking to you Alf” she says, Alfie nods and says he will be in soon as he goes to get the rest of the eggs with Aliza. Carmen heads back inside with the baby cradled in her arms. Reggie appears at the kitchen door and holds his arms out to take the baby and by the looks of it has already prepared the little one’s afternoon bottle, she carefully places him into his daddy’s arms.

“Anything I can do to help Pol?” Carmen asks as she turns around to face her sister-in-law.

On one Sunday morning in the middle of July, two very excited children were helping their Papa make a Victoria sponge cake with homemade jam and cream from scratch.

Alfie Jr and Aliza had been up since 7am, yapping about Nana and Granddad and Uncle Reg and Aunty Carmen coming to visit.

‘Look ‘ere, darlin’, you’ve got t'mix it like this, alrigh’? Or it won’t cook right.’ Alfie Sr said to Aliza, all the while wondering why he’d let his 8 year old son and 4 year old daughter help him with something like this. The pure delight on the kids’ faces said it all though, and it made the mess and the mischief worth it.

‘Mama! Are they here yet?‘Junior shrieked, dropping a mixture doused spoon on the kitchen floor. Aliza copied him, as she often did.

‘I don’t think Nana will be impressed by y'throwin’ spoons around, will she?’ Polly said, feigning a serious face as she ruffled Junior’s dark hair.

‘Little monsters! The pair of ‘em!’ Alfie Sr laughed. Aliza giggled as he picked her up and wiped the cake mix off her beaming face.

‘Now, this is very serious business, ain’t it, Lizzie? We’ve got t'knock ‘em dead with our creations, righ’, 'cause that Uncle Reg o’ yours is very fussy.’ Alfie said.

Aliza nodded sternly and her brow wrinkled with concentration as she watched her dad pour the batter into a cake tin.

'Can I put it in the oven, Papa? Mama, can I?’ Junior whined.

'Alrigh’. C’m'ere, darlin’.’ Polly said. Of course, she wouldn’t let her son go anywhere near the oven alone, so put the oven mitts on his hands and held his arms firmly. He smiled proudly when it was gently put on the top shelf, like he’d done it all by himself.

'Good job, mate. Jus’ like 'is dad ain’t he? Lit'le Baker.’ Alfie Sr joked.

Aliza, who was still in her father’s arms, heard a car pull up the long driveway.

She gasped with excitement.

’They’re here!’

'They’re bloody early.'Polly muttered.

She walked out front to see her mum, Violet, and her dad, Charles get out of Reg and Carmen’s car.

'What’re y'doing here so early? The cake ain’t even ready yet!’ She mock scolded.

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“Aw Alfie you’re too kind, yeah we’re getting there, as expected it’s took some adjusting, but tips from Violet and Polly have made a world of difference. Reg is good, it’s been a learning curve for him just as much as me, but he’s learning everyday and we’re on this journey together which is a bonus” Carmen answers.

Carmen feels so bad for Polly and what she went through when she has Aliza, she knows what it’s like because her mother went through the same thing, she had to have an emergency c-section when she gave birth to Carmen. She looks down at the baby boy in her arms, she can’t help but want to have lots more, she just hopes that her next birth is as straight forward as her first, even although she was in labour for nearly two full days, and really only had massages and hot showers as pain relief with it being a home birth, she never required any extra assistance, luckily.

Alfie asks if they are planning on expanding their family.

“We do want more in the future, but it’s finding the time Alf, we already have to plan everyone around this little one, I can only imagine what it would be like with another, probably double the planning and stress right? I don’t know how you and Pol do it with two and them being quite close in age, they don’t come with a handbook do they?” she laughs.

On one Sunday morning in the middle of July, two very excited children were helping their Papa make a Victoria sponge cake with homemade jam and cream from scratch.

Alfie Jr and Aliza had been up since 7am, yapping about Nana and Granddad and Uncle Reg and Aunty Carmen coming to visit.

‘Look ‘ere, darlin’, you’ve got t'mix it like this, alrigh’? Or it won’t cook right.’ Alfie Sr said to Aliza, all the while wondering why he’d let his 8 year old son and 4 year old daughter help him with something like this. The pure delight on the kids’ faces said it all though, and it made the mess and the mischief worth it.

‘Mama! Are they here yet?‘Junior shrieked, dropping a mixture doused spoon on the kitchen floor. Aliza copied him, as she often did.

‘I don’t think Nana will be impressed by y'throwin’ spoons around, will she?’ Polly said, feigning a serious face as she ruffled Junior’s dark hair.

‘Little monsters! The pair of ‘em!’ Alfie Sr laughed. Aliza giggled as he picked her up and wiped the cake mix off her beaming face.

'Now, this is very serious business, ain’t it, Lizzie? We’ve got t'knock 'em dead with our creations, righ’, 'cause that Uncle Reg o’ yours is very fussy.’ Alfie said.

Aliza nodded sternly and her brow wrinkled with concentration as she watched her dad pour the batter into a cake tin.

'Can I put it in the oven, Papa? Mama, can I?’ Junior whined.

'Alrigh’. C’m'ere, darlin’.’ Polly said. Of course, she wouldn’t let her son go anywhere near the oven alone, so put the oven mitts on his hands and held his arms firmly. He smiled proudly when it was gently put on the top shelf, like he’d done it all by himself.

'Good job, mate. Jus’ like 'is dad ain’t he? Lit'le Baker.’ Alfie Sr joked.

Aliza, who was still in her father’s arms, heard a car pull up the long driveway.

She gasped with excitement.

’They’re here!’

'They’re bloody early.'Polly muttered.

She walked out front to see her mum, Violet, and her dad, Charles get out of Reg and Carmen’s car.

'What’re y'doing here so early? The cake ain’t even ready yet!’ She mock scolded.

@carmen-kray

[carmen-kray]

“Of course Pol. Come on Love, let’s go and find Daddy” Carmen takes Aliza’s hand and leads her out of the kitchen into the garden. Poor soul Carmen thinks, she knows what it’s like to be a Daddy’s girl, she’s been one her whole life, she was the exact same growing up whenever her father had to leave for work or even worse that short time he spent in prison, she was always absolutely devastated, would stop eating and stay in her room crying, she could sympathise with the young girl.

She looks around the garden and sees Alfie picking the eggs, Aliza’s face lights up immediately at the sight of her father, Carmen finds it crazy how fast of a turnaround that was, tantrum to complete content in seconds. She lets go of Carmen’s hand and runs into her father’s arms, he lifts her up for a hug.

“Sorry Alf, someone couldn’t wait a few more minutes for you to come back” Carmen says.

He just chuckles, he was used to his extra shadow by now. Aliza helps him collect the rest of the eggs from the chicken coop. Carmen looks on smiling, she couldn’t wait for George to be old enough to have his own little personality and help his Daddy with jobs around the house, Reggie had definitely taken his role of being a father very seriously he has been so hands on already; spending more time at home, getting up for the night feeds after being at the clubs late etc.

“I’m going to grab the baby. He’ll want to see the chickens” Carmen says as she nips back inside to get the little one. He loves animals, when he was only a few weeks old, Reggie took them to London Zoo, and ever since then his interest has grown. Moments later Carmen returns carrying little George.

“Look Georgie, say hello to the chickens” she says.

He was such a content baby Carmen thought and so beautiful but of course she was biased, For months people’s opinions have been changing, some saying he looks like Carmen because of his dark locks but others saying he looks like Reggie because of those chocolate brown eyes.

“So what do you think Alfie? Who does he look look like me or Reg?” Carmen asks.

On one Sunday morning in the middle of July, two very excited children were helping their Papa make a Victoria sponge cake with homemade jam and cream from scratch.

Alfie Jr and Aliza had been up since 7am, yapping about Nana and Granddad and Uncle Reg and Aunty Carmen coming to visit.

‘Look ‘ere, darlin’, you’ve got t'mix it like this, alrigh’? Or it won’t cook right.’ Alfie Sr said to Aliza, all the while wondering why he’d let his 8 year old son and 4 year old daughter help him with something like this. The pure delight on the kids’ faces said it all though, and it made the mess and the mischief worth it.

‘Mama! Are they here yet?‘Junior shrieked, dropping a mixture doused spoon on the kitchen floor. Aliza copied him, as she often did.

‘I don’t think Nana will be impressed by y'throwin’ spoons around, will she?’ Polly said, feigning a serious face as she ruffled Junior’s dark hair.

'Little monsters! The pair of 'em!’ Alfie Sr laughed. Aliza giggled as he picked her up and wiped the cake mix off her beaming face.

'Now, this is very serious business, ain’t it, Lizzie? We’ve got t'knock 'em dead with our creations, righ’, 'cause that Uncle Reg o’ yours is very fussy.’ Alfie said.

Aliza nodded sternly and her brow wrinkled with concentration as she watched her dad pour the batter into a cake tin.

'Can I put it in the oven, Papa? Mama, can I?’ Junior whined.

'Alrigh’. C’m'ere, darlin’.’ Polly said. Of course, she wouldn’t let her son go anywhere near the oven alone, so put the oven mitts on his hands and held his arms firmly. He smiled proudly when it was gently put on the top shelf, like he’d done it all by himself.

'Good job, mate. Jus’ like 'is dad ain’t he? Lit'le Baker.’ Alfie Sr joked.

Aliza, who was still in her father’s arms, heard a car pull up the long driveway.

She gasped with excitement.

’They’re here!’

'They’re bloody early.'Polly muttered.

She walked out front to see her mum, Violet, and her dad, Charles get out of Reg and Carmen’s car.

'What’re y'doing here so early? The cake ain’t even ready yet!’ She mock scolded.

@carmen-kray

[carmen-kray]

[carmen-kray]

Find 5 quotes to describe your muse!

Thank you for the tag @pollysolomons ❤️

Strong enough to bear the children then get back to business - Beyonce ‘Run the World.

The question isn’t who’s going to let me, it’s who’s going to stop me - Ayn Rand.

She was a wild one, always stomping on egg shells that everyone else tip-toed on. - Kaitlin Foster.

I am a strong women because a strong women raised me - ‘words for women’.

Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak - Rachel Zoe.

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