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[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

oh god I’m the h word

hey i made this fanfic writer meme. drop in my ask which one u think i am!!!!

(okay to rb!)

[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

y’all i’m literally so excited. it’s up on ao3!! fuck yeah babey!!!

parker’s recreation - chapter twenty-four

“What are you up to?”

Liz poured herself some coffee. “Uh, Peter’s aunt and I were gonna go to the farmer’s market. Do you want some soy milk, by the way? I bought some, because I’m starting to suspect I’m a little lactose intolerant, and it’s kinda good.”

“Yeah, sure, sounds good. You’re going to the farmer’s market with May?”

“Mhm. It used it be a little tradition of our, we’d go every Sunday, but our normal market closed, and then we were always busy or tired,” she explained, pouring me some coffee. “But there’s a good farmer’s market close to here and it’s open early on Saturdays, so we were hoping to get there and get the best pick of produce. Do you want anything while I’m out?” She handed me my coffee.

“Thanks. Oh, we’re almost out of honey. When are you heading out?”

“Uh, she should be here any-”

The intercom started to go off.

“-minute.”

Liz buzzed May in. “Oh, shit, you haven’t met her, have you?”

I shook my head. “Nope.”

Keep reading

[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

parker’s recreation - chapter twenty-four

“What are you up to?”

Liz poured herself some coffee. “Uh, Peter’s aunt and I were gonna go to the farmer’s market. Do you want some soy milk, by the way? I bought some, because I’m starting to suspect I’m a little lactose intolerant, and it’s kinda good.”

“Yeah, sure, sounds good. You’re going to the farmer’s market with May?”

“Mhm. It used it be a little tradition of our, we’d go every Sunday, but our normal market closed, and then we were always busy or tired,” she explained, pouring me some coffee. “But there’s a good farmer’s market close to here and it’s open early on Saturdays, so we were hoping to get there and get the best pick of produce. Do you want anything while I’m out?” She handed me my coffee.

“Thanks. Oh, we’re almost out of honey. When are you heading out?”

“Uh, she should be here any-”

The intercom started to go off.

“-minute.”

Liz buzzed May in. “Oh, shit, you haven’t met her, have you?”

I shook my head. “Nope.”

y’all thank you so much for waiting for this chapter. my laptop died, i had to wait a month to get a new one, it was a whole mess. it’s such a relief to finally get this chapter done and out. it is a little bit longer than most chapters, which hopefully makes up for the wait, at least in part.

as per usual, this is up rn on caramelearlyaccess, accessible via my ko-fi! otherwise, it’ll go up on ao3 on friday or saturday 

[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

okay kids this isn’t my usual content but it’s been on my mind for a while so it’s going here anyways. also I haven’t been posting a lot bc school and not having a functioning laptop for a month, oops.

I saw a post on tumblr a few years back that was talking about adhd and other mental illnesses and the whole “you’re not adhd bc you get distracted sometimes” thing.

the bit that stuck out to me tho was an anecdote about being hyper focused on a video game to the point of ignoring your body’s needs and only being able to break away once you’ve literally peed your pants and need to clean up

and I get that it was an anecdote but it really made me feel as though I couldn’t possible have adhd bc I’d never been in that specific situation, but I did things like read through English class in school because in the 15 minutes we had at the beginning of class to read, I’d get hyperfocused on my book and accidentally read through the whole class and miss the lesson. I’d zone out in the middle of class for no reason, and get in trouble for not paying attention. I’d be chatty to the point of, again, getting in shit with teachers. I hated studying and bc I was a “gifted kid”, I never developed good study stills until high school, and still, going into my second year of university, I lack the ability to sit down and read my notes when I KNOW I need to. I would get bursts of energy and run around the sandbox at recess until I rolled an ankle or triggered an asthma attach. I’d interrupt friends because I had a thought, related or not, and needed to get it out right that second. I’d say and do things impulsively that pissed off my mom and started fights. all because nobody, including myself, had even considered that I had adhd.

it took a psychiatrist who absolutely invalidated every experience I had on antidepressants and kept me on them until I was too numb to care, a friend with ADHD who made jokes about how I probably had it bc all of her friends did, and a therapist who had ADHD but wasn’t sure if my symptoms were a result of ADHD or trauma. It took me asking my psychiatrist and being told to come back into the office in FOUR MONTHS for maybe an evaluation, my therapist and I going over all the symptoms and realizing I had all of them, my doctor referring me to a specialist after I asked, a 4 month wait, and several months of appointments, all 4 weeks apart, with a new psychiatrist who specialized in ADHD, to get my diagnosis and get on a medication and dosage that worked for me.

I need to say this in case someone who was in my shoes needs to hear it.

look up the DSM-5 criteria for ADHD. talk to your doctor, a therapist, someone with adhd, look up YouTube videos from adhd educational sources. this applies to any condition, but adult adhd is ridiculously underdiagnosed.

I have never peed my pants because I was wrapped up in video games. I’ve never starved to the point of passing out because I forgot to eat. but I still have moderate-severe ADHD. I still need treatment to function.

please. if you genuinely think you have a mental illness/disorder. GO GET EVALUATED. ask a therapist, get a referral from your doctor, if you’re doubtful get a second opinion. I know that these options are a privilege, but if you have the ability to, get diagnosed.

I made this very primitive graphic to show the spectrum of experiences.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

sincerely, an ADHD writer who should’ve formatted this better but honestly my meds are wearing off so I’m sorry it’s a little disorganized

[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

listen. about the wait. that’s on me lol i’ve been spending farrrr too much time on a project that isn’t due for another 3 weeks. 

anywayssss it’s up! you can read it here! and stay tuned for updates regarding post schedules or spicy bonus content here!! chapter 24 might take a hot min to get out, so following my twitter is the best way to keep tabs on progress :)

chapter twenty-three - parker’s recreation

“Ooh, Peter’s here!” I wasn’t sure, but it sounded like Marcy.

“Be safe, use protection-” That had to be Rhea.

“Shhh! How do I look?” MJ asked, voice hushed.

“You look fine! Go answer the door!” Marcy urged.

“I’m nervous-”

“Fine,” Matt huffed, “I’ve got it.”

The door opened a moment later, and Matt looked me up at down before nodding.

“MJ’s just finishing getting ready-”

“I could hear you guys,” I admitted.

“Aw, fuck,” MJ muttered. She stepped out into the doorway. 

I was speechless. She was so, so beautiful.

She gave me a little smile. “Hey.”

“Hi. Oh, um, these are…for you.” I held out the bouquet. “I didn’t know what kind of flowers you like, so I went with the safest option.”

She laughed a little, and took the bouquet. “Thank you, Peter.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Marcy jumped up off the couch and came towards us. “I can put those in a vase, you guys head out for dinner.”

“Oh, thanks, Marce.” MJ handed off the roses, and then stepped out into the hallway with me. “I’ll see you guys later, don’t burn the place down!”

There was a brief chorus of goodbyes, and then MJ grabbed a purse and a coat and closed the door behind herself.

“Alright, I’m ready.”

Keep reading

[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

chapter twenty-three - parker’s recreation

“Ooh, Peter’s here!” I wasn’t sure, but it sounded like Marcy.

“Be safe, use protection-” That had to be Rhea.

“Shhh! How do I look?” MJ asked, voice hushed.

“You look fine! Go answer the door!” Marcy urged.

“I’m nervous-”

“Fine,” Matt huffed, “I’ve got it.”

The door opened a moment later, and Matt looked me up at down before nodding.

“MJ’s just finishing getting ready-”

“I could hear you guys,” I admitted.

“Aw, fuck,” MJ muttered. She stepped out into the doorway. 

I was speechless. She was so, so beautiful.

She gave me a little smile. “Hey.”

“Hi. Oh, um, these are…for you.” I held out the bouquet. “I didn’t know what kind of flowers you like, so I went with the safest option.”

She laughed a little, and took the bouquet. “Thank you, Peter.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Marcy jumped up off the couch and came towards us. “I can put those in a vase, you guys head out for dinner.”

“Oh, thanks, Marce.” MJ handed off the roses, and then stepped out into the hallway with me. “I’ll see you guys later, don’t burn the place down!”

There was a brief chorus of goodbyes, and then MJ grabbed a purse and a coat and closed the door behind herself.

“Alright, I’m ready.”

alright folks be forewarned, there is a bit of implied sexy time in this chapter but there’s no smut, just bc i didn’t have time. if i do have time later to complete that scene, it’ll be an exclusive bonus scene on my ko-fi bc a bitch has to pay the bills. 

this chapter is already up on caramelearlyaccess, and the password is accessible via my ko-fi. it’ll go up on ao3 on thursday or friday.

as always, big ass thank you to @thorkyriebabes​ for beta reading 

thanks for the patience getting this chapter up!! love y’all 

[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

You’ve heard of sharing a bed. Now get ready for sharing a brain cell.

[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

it’s up!! read it here!! 

happy new year!!

parker’s recreation - chapter twenty-two

I went over for a spa-night/sleepover with Liz. She had robes laid out, face masks, a facial steamer, an aromatherapy diffuser, the whole nine yards. According to Liz, Harry was out with Ned, and Peter was out patrolling. I knew Peter would get in, probably before we went to bed, but I tried not to let it bother me.

We painted each other’s nails and painted on some mud masks. Betty FaceTimed us for a bit, and did a sheet mask while we chatted, but she was stuck at her parent’s house, babysitting the family dog who was sick while her parents were at work.

Betty had mentioned something about Home Alone, and then we were debating which year it came out, so I opened my phone to look it up and prove Liz and Betty wrong, only to realize I had an unopened text.

Peter: so I’m not allowed to ignore you but you’re allowed to ignore me?

“Ruh-roh,” Betty said, “MJ’s about to cut a bitch.”

I realized I was making quite an annoyed face. I didn’t mean to show any emotion on my face. Oops.

“I’m fine.”

“Was Home Alone 1992?” Betty asked.

“No, it’s 1990.”

“What?” Liz asked.

I quickly pulled up the Wiki and showed Liz, and she sighed.

“Dammit.”

Betty scrunched her nose and looked off camera. Her eyes widened in panic. “Um, the dog’s throwing up again, I’ll talk to you guys later.”

She hung up.

Liz turned to me. “What did Peter say?”

I started to cross my arms and defend myself, but Liz tilted her head and gave me that look. The one moms give you when they know you stole cookies out of the jar. Huffing, I showed her my phone.

Keep reading

[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

new caramelearlyaccess password!

in case you missed it, the password for caramelearlyaccess now changes on the 1st of each month. I did it tonight just to make sure I don’t forget tomorrow lol 

monthly supporters can find the new password here, one-off supporters can buy me a coffee to get the password :)

(also, there’s a commission giveaway on my ko-fi, and any supporters are automatically entered)

Happy New Year! I hope you all have a safe but fun celebration tonight :)))

[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

parker’s recreation - chapter twenty-two

I went over for a spa-night/sleepover with Liz. She had robes laid out, face masks, a facial steamer, an aromatherapy diffuser, the whole nine yards. According to Liz, Harry was out with Ned, and Peter was out patrolling. I knew Peter would get in, probably before we went to bed, but I tried not to let it bother me.

We painted each other's nails and painted on some mud masks. Betty FaceTimed us for a bit, and did a sheet mask while we chatted, but she was stuck at her parent’s house, babysitting the family dog who was sick while her parents were at work.

Betty had mentioned something about Home Alone, and then we were debating which year it came out, so I opened my phone to look it up and prove Liz and Betty wrong, only to realize I had an unopened text.

Peter: so I’m not allowed to ignore you but you’re allowed to ignore me?

“Ruh-roh,” Betty said, “MJ’s about to cut a bitch.”

I realized I was making quite an annoyed face. I didn’t mean to show any emotion on my face. Oops.

“I’m fine.”

“Was Home Alone 1992?” Betty asked.

“No, it’s 1990.”

“What?” Liz asked.

I quickly pulled up the Wiki and showed Liz, and she sighed.

“Dammit.”

Betty scrunched her nose and looked off camera. Her eyes widened in panic. “Um, the dog’s throwing up again, I’ll talk to you guys later.”

She hung up.

Liz turned to me. “What did Peter say?”

I started to cross my arms and defend myself, but Liz tilted her head and gave me that look. The one moms give you when they know you stole cookies out of the jar. Huffing, I showed her my phone.

listen. i’m not gonna say that this is my favourite chapter. but it’s up there. 

as per usual, this is up on caramelearlyaccess, the password is on my ko-fi, and this chapter will go up on new years day (which is the same day that the password will reset)

thank you once again to @thorkyriebabes​ for editing and for her insights into musical accompaniment for this chapter. for those of you with early access, i highly recommend playing woke the fuck up whilst you read (or after if you can’t focus on music + reading) 

[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

merry christmas, folks

chapter twenty-one - parker’s recreation

The issue with trying to be just friends with your friend with benefits with whom you are very much in love is that the lines get very blurry very quickly.

As MJ and I drove back into Manhattan, we… discussed, passionately, what being friends meant for us.

“Okay, but then what is a relationship, Em, if we know how we feel and we’re still messing around-”

“The fact that we’re not calling it a relationship-”

“You don’t have to call something a duck in order for it to be a duck! If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck-”

“Then we don’t have to fuck.”

I backtracked. “Okay, that’s not what I’m saying-”

“No, that’s exactly it. Maybe we put a hold on the benefits and just try to be friends until we’ve sorted our shit out a little.”

“Try to be friends?” I asked.

She sighed. “You know what I mean. Just…hang out, platonically, until the dust settles a little, so to speak. I don’t think either one of us is ready to just jump in head first into a full-on relationship.”

She was right. “Alright. Hang out platonically. You got it,” I agreed, and we drove the rest of the way home in silence.

Keep reading

[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

thanks for tagging!!

uhh i tag anyone who sees this and wants to do it??

aaaaa thank you @mclarenrenaissance for tagging me to make this picrew ily <3

i just had to do the merc suit cause home team baby <3

uuuuuh lets see uhm @twitchbois @munchkryn @georgexrussell @sebastianv5ttel @mxde-kriegerin @tinytinwe no idea if yall have been tagged but those were the urls i could remember so have fun if u wanna do it

[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

chapter twenty-one - parker’s recreation

The issue with trying to be just friends with your friend with benefits with whom you are very much in love is that the lines get very blurry very quickly.

As MJ and I drove back into Manhattan, we… discussed, passionately, what being friends meant for us.

“Okay, but then what is a relationship, Em, if we know how we feel and we’re still messing around-”

“The fact that we’re not calling it a relationship-”

“You don’t have to call something a duck in order for it to be a duck! If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck-”

“Then we don’t have to fuck.”

I backtracked. “Okay, that’s not what I’m saying-”

“No, that’s exactly it. Maybe we put a hold on the benefits and just try to be friends until we’ve sorted our shit out a little.”

“Try to be friends?” I asked.

She sighed. “You know what I mean. Just…hang out, platonically, until the dust settles a little, so to speak. I don’t think either one of us is ready to just jump in head first into a full-on relationship.”

She was right. “Alright. Hang out platonically. You got it,” I agreed, and we drove the rest of the way home in silence.

i’m so so sorry about the delay on this one folks! 

this is up on my second tumblr, accessibly via my ko-fi, and goes up on ao3 on thursday (merry christmas lol) 

also, i’m not going to change my ko-fi password until new years, a) to change the turnover date from the 20th to the 1st bc the 20th is an awkward placement in the month and idk why i did that and b) to give some extra time to those who purchased early access earlier this month and didn’t get anything to show for it until today

that’s all, folks!

[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

it’s up! read it here!

chapter 21 is gonna take a hot minute before it’s up (finals, moving, etc) so apologies in advance if it’s not up for another week or two 

chapter twenty - parker’s recreation

“You made it!” Marcy gave me a sudden and aggressive hug that knocked the breath out of me.

“Did you think I was gonna miss it?” I asked, waving Rhea over. She reluctantly joined in the hug.

“I asked Peter if he’d come,” Marcy told me, “since he was the one that got us to sign up.”

“And?”

Rhea shook her head. “We didn’t hear anything back.”

The two hugged me tighter.

In all honesty, I was glad he didn’t show up. The yearning from last night had evolved into anger in the pit of my stomach, and I didn’t know if I could stand to look at him.

Because he knew how hard the weekend was for me. He’d been the one to joke and tease to try to cheer me up on the way there, he’d been the one to step between me and Janie when she slapped me, he’d been the one to hold me while I cried when we got back.

So why did he make it worse?

Marcy pointed out where Matt was sitting, and I went and sat next to him while we waited for the competition to start.

“Did they tell you they invited Peter?” he asked.

I nodded.

“I tried to tell them it was a-”

And then we watched as Peter Parker, dressed in an faded Midtown sweater walked in and shot a smile at the team before taking a seat, a couple rows ahead of Matt and I.

Keep reading

[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

chapter twenty - parker’s recreation

“You made it!” Marcy gave me a sudden and aggressive hug that knocked the breath out of me.

“Did you think I was gonna miss it?” I asked, waving Rhea over. She reluctantly joined in the hug.

“I asked Peter if he’d come,” Marcy told me, “since he was the one that got us to sign up.”

“And?”

Rhea shook her head. “We didn’t hear anything back.”

The two hugged me tighter.

In all honesty, I was glad he didn’t show up. The yearning from last night had evolved into anger in the pit of my stomach, and I didn’t know if I could stand to look at him.

Because he knew how hard the weekend was for me. He’d been the one to joke and tease to try to cheer me up on the way there, he’d been the one to step between me and Janie when she slapped me, he’d been the one to hold me while I cried when we got back.

So why did he make it worse?

Marcy pointed out where Matt was sitting, and I went and sat next to him while we waited for the competition to start.

“Did they tell you they invited Peter?” he asked.

I nodded.

“I tried to tell them it was a-”

And then we watched as Peter Parker, dressed in an faded Midtown sweater walked in and shot a smile at the team before taking a seat, a couple rows ahead of Matt and I.

okay i’ve tried to make this preview post like 4 times now so let’s hope this time it works. 

as per usual, this is up on my second tumblr, you can get the password on my ko-fi to access it now or wait until tuesday or wednesday when it goes up on ao3 (all those links here)

this was also beta read by @thorkyriebabes​ and i love her for it 

[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

it’s a lil late but it’s up!!

chapter 20 is close to done, just give me the weekend lol

chapter nineteen - parker’s recreation

“It had to be pretty bad for you two to stop hanging out,” Rhea remarked. “You were practically joined at the hip that whole trip.”

“We were not joined at the hip.”

“No, of course not,” Matt agreed. “Just your face to his shoulder.”

I glared at him. “I’ll poison your syrup.”

“If you poison my syrup, I don’t have to deal with school,” he retorted.

“He makes a good point,” Marcy said, returning with her coffee. “Also, Matt, I don’t know how you’re drinking your coffee black.”

“You don’t drink coffee for the taste, you drink it for the caffeine.”

“You’re letting MJ distract you from the topic at hand,” Rhea interjected. Damn my smart little sister.

Marcy and Matt turned their attention back to me, and I took another bite of my pancake.

“These turned out fluffier than last time. Maybe we should just always make them from scratch.”

“Will you just tell us what the argument was about?” Matt took another sip of his coffee, looking kind of annoyed.

“It’s not your job to fix my friendships.”

Rhea and Marcy scoffed in unison.

“That’s not a friendship,” Rhea said.

“Yeah, he slept in your room twice, and the one time he could’ve just gone to his own apartment,” Marcy added.

“It’s not not a friendship unless we’ve talked about it not being a friendship,” I argued weakly. “Listen, it’s just-”

Matt crossed his arms. “Are you saying you and Peter have the sort of friendship where it’s normal to share a bed?”

Well, fuck.

Keep reading

[caramelcaramelcaramelao3]

chapter nineteen - parker’s recreation

“It had to be pretty bad for you two to stop hanging out,” Rhea remarked. “You were practically joined at the hip that whole trip.”

“We were not joined at the hip.”

“No, of course not,” Matt agreed. “Just your face to his shoulder.”

I glared at him. “I’ll poison your syrup.”

“If you poison my syrup, I don’t have to deal with school,” he retorted.

“He makes a good point,” Marcy said, returning with her coffee. “Also, Matt, I don’t know how you’re drinking your coffee black.”

“You don’t drink coffee for the taste, you drink it for the caffeine.”

“You’re letting MJ distract you from the topic at hand,” Rhea interjected. Damn my smart little sister.

Marcy and Matt turned their attention back to me, and I took another bite of my pancake.

“These turned out fluffier than last time. Maybe we should just always make them from scratch.”

“Will you just tell us what the argument was about?” Matt took another sip of his coffee, looking kind of annoyed.

“It’s not your job to fix my friendships.”

Rhea and Marcy scoffed in unison.

“That’s not a friendship,” Rhea said.

“Yeah, he slept in your room twice, and the one time he could’ve just gone to his own apartment,” Marcy added.

“It’s not not a friendship unless we’ve talked about it not being a friendship,” I argued weakly. “Listen, it’s just-”

Matt crossed his arms. “Are you saying you and Peter have the sort of friendship where it’s normal to share a bed?”

Well, fuck.

oh ho ho, you guys thought peter and mj would’ve made up by now? INCORRECT. i take the term slow burn very seriously.

you know the drill by now. read it here now, get the password here if you don’t already have it, and if you’re a masochist who likes the wait, it’ll be up on ao3 on thursday ;)