captbackfire17

[captbackfire17]

Sometimes you’ll get fed up standing on the pier,

waiting on the ship you long to come

assuming scorching sunlight as a warm embrace

foolish thinking of freezing wind as a calming breeze.

[captbackfire17]

Hello older me!

This was the idea that you came up with from years before 2024. And we decide to at least writing this up so you can prove it in the future. It is called A Reminder To Stop Worrying.

Sedikit mengingatkan, 2023 was a harsh battle we were having. Quarter life crisis is real (sampe 2024 juga). Ketakutan karna gatau gimana kehidupan profesional ke depannya - karna gayakin punya skill yang cukup. Shortly, we’re given the opportunity to work abroad.

Tapi sekarang, kerja di Jerman terasa berat kali. Ada dua isu. Pertama karna aku merasa ga punya kualitas untuk kerja di engineering ini. Tiap hari datang terkagum sama orang orang yang lancar simulasi, ngerti hands-on dan pengalaman sama barang yang tangible, ada juga manager yang luar biasa pintar dalam semua hal. Well, it is deeply intimidating me. Merasa aku bakal cuman bisa hal administratif aja.

Kedua, pastinya jauh dari keluarga dan teman teman. Freaking thousand miles from home, and I need support system. Kalo dulu bahkan ketemu teman dan bisa main main uda refreshing sangat. Sekarang belum dapat teman yang terasa cocok, because everyone is over 30 yrs old (!!) - either being married or having problem that no 25 would ever think of.

I wish to become ‘someone’. Bukan orang ngejar sukses, but someone who can find his place in the society. Ga yang gimana gimana, dari dulu mimpi cuman bisa punya keluarga dengan ekonomi yang di atas average hahaha. But it is hard, because I haven’t discovered even myself.

So broo, if you’re reading over this in the future - you should come back next year though - I hope it finds you well. I will try hard to make you in the better place. Tapi sekarang aku butuh berpikir bahwa everything’s gonna be alright. Aku tau pasti bakal ada jalan. Jadi, kalo kau juga dalam kesusahan, ingat bahwa kau yang tahun lalu merasa diri berada di palung terdalam seumur hidupmu. Be strong brother! Drink beer and have fun! Buat mama bapak kakak bangga, karna itu kan yang buat kau senang.

At the end of the day, I ordered a pizza - although I was planning to buy pizza hut, yet I could only buy Dominos because it’s nearby (but do you realize there are only 2 pizza huts in munich??).

So if you find this one in the future, buy another pizza man, it doesn’t matter if you are having either a good or bad time, go get the pizza. I save this €25 for you, consider it is my treat.

Remember, you are the best. We can make it. Life is too short to be little. Our life is what our thoughts make it. So dream big boi!

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Look how beautiful my niece, Chloe, is!!

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ngl, I’m falling in love, with you

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1:28 - 1:53 on repeat

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Tell me when will you be mine

Tell me quando quando quando

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Back to you, it always comes around

Back to you, I tried to forget you

I tried to stay away, but it’s too late

Yeahh, I’m so good at forgetting

And I quit every game I play

But forgive me, love

I can’t turn and walk away, this way

🎶

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beating a dead horse

means that a particular effort is futile, a waste of time without a positive outcome

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and now I’m down being in love again

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sometimes

it doesn’t matter how much you put your effort or how strong your willpower to do it

if it’s not going on the right path, it wont make it

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and now that i’ve dreamt about you

it is safe to say that i’m officially messed up real bad

dear oh dear

[captbackfire17]

and we often seem to miss each other,

like two ships passing in the night-

almost touching,

but not quite making contact

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i think i’ve seen this film before

and i didn’t like the ending

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never expected anything like this would give me so much pressure. God, help me, as I’m lifting my heads, dreaming of the unreachable, bless me with a thought of being grateful for what made me as i am today