captaintwerkmerica

[captaintwerkmerica]

[captaintwerkmerica]

babygirl you would not believe the superiority complex me and the other never left tumblr homies have right now

[captaintwerkmerica]

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open

[captaintwerkmerica]

Yeah, same.

[captaintwerkmerica]

i hate when people call me on the phone like this is for my mom only....

[captaintwerkmerica]

just got a yt ad for the army that said ‘we’re the ones that fight the battles no one hears about’ and. god they’re beyond parody huh

[captaintwerkmerica]

you get to set the met gala theme! what theme do you choose?

[captaintwerkmerica]

Houses Georg is here to explain the housing crisis I guess

[captaintwerkmerica]

are there actually new tumblr users or are we just memeing ourselves into a fever dream where this site is popular again like two hundred thousand people hallucinating as they die in a trench

[captaintwerkmerica]

I'm convinced that cats clean themselves after eating because they have this image in their head that they must be covered in blood and gore after their successful hunt, but I know by looking at them that all they have are little crumbs on their chin from their kitty crunchies

[captaintwerkmerica]

the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not

[captaintwerkmerica]

This spam email almost got me, tbh.

[captaintwerkmerica]

maybe this time this weed will not make me see devils

[captaintwerkmerica]

[captaintwerkmerica]

does squid game need a season 2? does russian doll? cant endings just remain narratively ambiguous for significant thematic reasons without arguing the necessity for expansion? can’t a show be great without netflix renewing it for profit until it is no longer great? might seasons 2 of these shows actually have artistic merit and strengthen their narratives and i am just apprehensive for no reason because i am paranoid and a hater? am i pretty? am i a pretty girl? and other questions i ask myself at 5 in the morning instead of sleeping

[captaintwerkmerica]

you just know he was having flashbacks while typing that reply

[captaintwerkmerica]