captaingiddyblack · 3 years ago
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how tf does someone go about finding a non-roleplay FC, all I know is tumblr rp
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captaingiddyblack · 3 years ago
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captaingiddyblack · 5 years ago
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just logged into tumblr/ffxiv for the first time in twelve million years and i am terrified 
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captaingiddyblack · 6 years ago
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Mhamó,
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They tell me to wander far from home to explore Eorzea, to see the world and learn the ways of all people as Master A-Towa Cant did before I am given further training. I do not defy their wishes but I cannot help but feel this is a way to be rid of me, so that I disgrace their halls with my presence no more. Master E-Sumi, ever so perceptive, must have felt how uneasy I was when given the task and was quick to assure me that my return is to be expected. He remains kind as ever but even I know that I must not go to him for silly matters such as my worries, not when there’s so much he must do. If he expects me to turn and earn my place among my peers as a full-fledged conjurer- then I must trust his judgement and believe that I do belong with them.
If you were still here with us, I know you would tell me the very same. I’ll always carry your love in my heart and that alone will give me the strength to journey far. What do you think Ul'dah is like? I’ve only heard stories and met its citizens in passing when they visit the glade to trade wares with us; they dress in such glamorous attire! Silks, satins, colors of gold and blood red.. their skin warm in shade but with eyes so bright, like the sun. Perhaps it is expensive to live there?
I wish I could tell you how Mhih is doing but even now, she refuses to speak with me. Before she once regarded me with a passionate hatred and ever foolishly, led me to believe that maybe a part of her still cares. Yet now, she is distant and cold- much like the lands she’s fled to and lived ever since you…
..I miss her so much, mhamó. Her childish laughter, the fiery spirit that carried me when I wasn’t strong enough to stand on my own. Even those silly little snoring fits when we slept side by side! We don’t speak anymore but I know that she’s doing well, I send letters to the ones who live in a village near the forest that is home to her and they speak of many stories when they manage to see her. How she’s grown to be a wonderful beast tamer and hunts all sorts of creatures! She reminds me so much of mother. I pray each night that we will see each other again and that she’ll name me her sister once more.
I should rest now, I’ve a carriage to take me tomorrow to the city at the first break of daylight! Wish me good fortune and know that you’re in my thoughts always.
~Amh
@thebeatingofdrums for mention 
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captaingiddyblack · 6 years ago
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😜
😜 … someone who makes my muse laugh.
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In truth, Xiu couldn’t think of many people who well and truly made her laugh.
 When her mother was still alive, the two of them managed to find ways to make each other laugh until tears streamed down their face. Despite her mother’s gentle nature, she had a dark and wicked sense of humor that mirrored her daughter’s. Min Hye could see a terrible situation and find something to laugh at, and Xiu was grateful to inherit this trait from it.
 “You can laugh or you can cry, Xiu,” she’d told her daughter one night as they lounged in the woman’s quarters within the compound. “And I’m, quite frankly, tired of crying at all the terrible things around us. Sometimes, things can be so awful that you can’t help but to laugh in shock, if nothing else. Finding humor is a coping mechanism. Don’t be afraid to lose it.”
 After Min Hye died, though, Xiu struggled more and more often to find the humor in anything about her situation. She was angry, blood boiling so often that it was a wonder it didn’t evaporate altogether. She was furious with rage and filled with an aching, lonely heart. The violence and debauchery around her was foul, and there was nothing she could do but to engage in it if she was to survive – to become the worst and make her teeth the sharpest of them all so that she wouldn’t be eaten alive. To instill fear in the members of the Kinoshita-gumi was no easy task, but it was one Xiu accomplished, even at the tender age of fifteen.
 There were bright spots. It was around the same time that Min Hye passed that she entered into a relationship with Kage, an orphan that the oyabun had taken in as a favor to the boy’s late parents. Kage and her only laughed together when they were less than sober, and more often than not, she found herself angry at him too. Argue, get blitzed, fuck, make up – rinse and repeat. He left bruises and scars on her, mentally and physically. And while her heart was getting broken every other day, there was still another presence that existed within the compound that offered some strange kind of comfort. 
 Feng. Feng, the boy with no father and a mother that passed him off so that she could survive. He wasn’t technically an orphan, but he was still no better than them. Feng was a couple of years older than Xiu and her friendliest rival. Where she was silence, shadows, quick and quiet, he was used for intimidation. He towered, lean and muscular and athletic, with sunset eyes that could look so wicked but could also look so soft, when he thought other people didn’t notice the way that he looked at the daughter of the oyabun. He’d liked her since they were little children, had even once been friends with Kage until the relationship between him and Xiu destroyed it into nothing but bitter hatred. 
 But the thing about Feng is that, despite his dislike of Kage and the rivalry between him and Xiu, is that they were… alike, in a lot of ways. He had that same dark humor as her mother and a smile that made Xiu feel warm in ways Kage could never make her feel. When it was just the two of them, there were many times where it was a time filled with laughter, completely sober. He could make her laugh until her sides hurt and she was doubled over. With Feng, Xiu felt an electricity that sparked her back to life. Their relationship was complicated, this much was true… But he protected her. He took care of a girl who staunchly refused to let anyone do that job, in his own ways. And one of those ways was getting her to laugh, to bring light back into jade eyes that had been so dim for so very long.
(( Thank you for the ask that you sent in a million years ago, @captaingiddyblack! What are timely responses! I have no idea! ))
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captaingiddyblack · 6 years ago
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captaingiddyblack · 6 years ago
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captaingiddyblack · 6 years ago
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captaingiddyblack · 6 years ago
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● Photography by: Jonas Tebbe ● Found at: Unsplash.com ● Original photo: here
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captaingiddyblack · 6 years ago
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—a memory of wind, by rachel swirsky
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captaingiddyblack · 6 years ago
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“Well, what do you call it when someone tries to kill you?”
“Tuesday.”
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captaingiddyblack · 6 years ago
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Hiking in the mountains of Italy. @
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captaingiddyblack · 6 years ago
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(from @solennelagarde) 40. How does your character treat people in service jobs?
“They’re doin’ a job jus’ like everyone else, albeit a less excitin’ one than what I ‘ave to do on a daily basis. ‘s why I try ‘ta add a little somethin’ to their day whenever I’m bein’ helped. Some excitement, a lesson, some adventure... whatever I feel like the person might need when I see ‘em.”(( Gideon is the type of obnoxious old man that always makes everything into more of an event that he needs to be. He’ll keep someone stuck at his table for WAY too long just trying to tell them a story and impart a life-lesson. Miserable stuff. Thanks for the ask @solennelagarde !! Sorry for the wait
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captaingiddyblack · 6 years ago
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29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?
“Never really thought about the future much as a kid an’ I don’t think about it much now. More of an in-the-moment type o’man, really. Suppose I always wanted ‘ta be rich an’ famous, though. Doesn’t everyone? An’ look at this face! ‘ow could I have avoided it even if I wanted to?”(( thanks for the ask @sabine-ffxiv !! Sorry for the wait.
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captaingiddyblack · 6 years ago
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Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?
“Hm... it ain’t often that I remember my dreams, ‘ta be honest with you. Might be missin’ a more common theme, but there’s often a kid or two in my dreams. Someone weak an’ under my protection, an’ they get lost. Or hurt, sometimes. Regardless, something ‘append to them that I ‘ave no chance at fixin’. ‘s heartbreaking stuff, an’ if I knew ‘ow to get rid of dreaming entirely, I’d take the chance in ‘n instant.” (( thanks for the ask @kazukotan !! sorry for the wait.
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captaingiddyblack · 6 years ago
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You did not wake up today to be mediocre 
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captaingiddyblack · 6 years ago
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