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eating pastries is so humiliating cause you'll be having the time of your life having it and then when you're finished you look down and you're covered in flakes and sugardust like fuuuck now everyone is going to know i'm a messy pastry whore

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when i was a young boy i had the philosophy of ‘balls are the boobs of the penis so its ok that i want to suck on them it doesn’t make me gay” and tbh i was cooking

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lowkey all the leaves are brown and the sky is grey

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tucson aint got much but it does have a bridge shaped like a rattlesnake

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I've made the difficult decision to resign from my job and focus on writing the script for Freddy vs. Jason vs. Alien vs. Predator

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Today's Seal Is: Charging Her Beam Attack

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go there

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Microdosing on a true experience of beauty by living a single human life from beginning to end

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recently when im tempted to say 'i'm gonna kill myself' i try to correct it into saying "im gonna walk into the river and become a trout" or some other form of that. this is my new thing

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i cannot blame cats for using their fangs to put perfect little stapler holes in cardboard bc if i had such fangs you bet your ass id be doing that too

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ive found that partially treated mental illness can sometimes look to uninvolved onlookers like faked mental illness.

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we don't even celebrate fingers in his ass sunday anymore

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moodboard for when a girl you don’t know compliments you

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No but seriously imagine it:

You’re seeing fall out boy on a concert. Everyone is having a great time. Fall out boy seem a little excited. “We have a surprise for you guys.” Partick says. All of a sudden P!ATD come out and start singing “this is gospel.” When Brendon gets to the chorus, someone else starts singing… “When I was a young boy my father took me into the city to see a marching band.” Lights flash everywhere, and you see FOB singing “this is gospel” along with P!ATD, while MCR is singing “Black parade”. Everyone in the crowd is going wild and crying. Then if things couldn’t get any better, Dan and Phil walk onto stage and kiss, holding the gay flag.

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the joy of realizing someone is a similar type of freak as you

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What do you mean i am not fluent in [LANGUAGE] immediately. that is so unfair