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i just wanted to paint something with an unconventional perspective tbh

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I got to day 10 last year…

Also November is Shadilver month!!! So Shadilver is definitely going to be present. But Lackadaisy and Metanoia might make an appearance as well!

Please join! It was so fun last year. :)))

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PLZ HELP BRUH 😭💀🤕 the QR code goes to my carrd!!!

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I was a CNA for a little bit, so I might have more knowledge, but I just want aspiring authors to write older folks correctly. We are so used to seeing 12-40 year old characters, change it up a bit!

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hey, uhhhh, i know i don’t have ANY followers but i’m sure people would appreciate an update.

i don’t want to post my art here unless it’s like, actually good. same for my writing.

sonic and lackadaisy are my main focus, and i don’t think that’ll change for a while.

okay, bye bye. :)

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I have been writing this, it’s mainly Mordecai and Ivy interactions. I feel like nobody talks about their relationship, and this was inspired by the upcoming mini episode where Ivy is very young, and Mordecai was still working for Lackadaisy. I hope you enjoy. >_<

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Thank you for your input 🫡 you guys will be tortured with my fanfictions now !

Wait, you guys like it when people post fanfics on here?

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Wait, you guys like it when people post fanfics on here?

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Random, but Spy knows sign language. I feel like he has to, since he is… a spy. You have to communicate in silence in certain situations. Even if it’s simple, minimal things, like the voice lines in TF2. (EX: sentry ahead, go left/right, medic, help, etc.)

NOW. Who would understand his sign language?

- Medic (probably can sign back)

- Sniper

- Pyro (very simple versions with lips ghosting the signs)

- Solider (some, but nothing complicated)

- Heavy???

- Engineer for sure, and can sign back

Scout… no. I don’t think he would be able to at all. Unless it’s very obvious like pointing, but that’s not sign language. 💀 He’d just give you a thousand yard stare.

Demoman.. I don’t know. I want to say that his vision is blurry and wobbly from being intoxicated constantly, but I might have to do more character analysis with him.

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Gore warning 🤓 this is a virus sonic au because I never see anyone do sonic only mlp so.

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Reading Mordecai Heller as a repressed gay man

The tragic attraction

This is a full post based on my response to a great analysis by @sedgewick-gayble

Let me start by saying that if you read Mordecai as being totally asexual/aromantic and any affection he has for other characters to be entirely platonic that is entirely valid and I respect that

However as this response by Tracy makes clear on the topic of fans reading Mordecai as gay there is an intentional ambiguity about it. Being 28 at the time of the main story his "lifestyle is certainly asexual" up to this point, yet "being ace and being gay are not mutually exclusive things" and people sometimes "don't know themselves or understand their own motivations all that well"

This leaves the possibility open that Mordecai is actively repressing his natural desires and feelings

Mordecai's early life didn't exactly provide much time or opportunity for "self discovery", even by the usual standards of the less than tolerant and understanding world of the early 20th century

Being born into an impoverished family and having his father die very early in his life leaving him and his Mother and two younger sisters in dire straits, Mordecai had to get to work and assume adult responsibilities pretty damn early.

As Tracy says "selling newspapers wasn't going to cut it" and so using his natural talent with numbers Mordecai starts bookkeeping for the mob. Is it any wonder someone with that background would develop such a serious and rigidly buttoned up demeanour?

Since being forced to abandon his mother and two sisters at the start of the 1920s and flee New York, being picked up by Atlas's due to his habit of collecting useful strays, Mordecai had very few people he was close to in St Louis. With his generally anti-social personality and not only lack of interest but discomfort with any sort of flirting or romantic entanglements, that would be unlikely to change

Side note: Probaby coincidence but

There are only two people who seem to make it onto that exclusive list of people that "count" for Mordecai, who he cares about and are able to bring things to the surface he would normally keep hidden

Atlas to Mordecai is not just an employer, he is the man who saved his life, the man who moulded a desperate fearful shabby young stray into the sharp professional he is today, who took him under his wing and made him his protege. Filling the empty space his father left in his life. His grief and desperate hunt for those responsible for his death are his big motivation (the strain of which is slowly tearing him apart)

That connection is undertsandable

Much more surprising on the surface is the bond with the partner Atlas teamed him up with soon after his arrival, Viktor Vasko.

The assumption at the start would have been that while their skill sets might compliment each other in the field there would have been no warmth in their dynamic.

Certainly not on Mordecai's part as Viktor appears to be a sum total of many things Mordecai hates. Viktor is unshaven, relatively casual in his attire, speaks a broken English, and hates people chattering or “noise, noise, noise” as he calls it. Clashing hard with his obsession with good grooming, high quality tailoring, correct grammar etc. Indeed Mordecai doesn't hesitate to nag/criticize Viktor for these things

Yet at the same time Mordecai has far better chemistry with Viktor than with anyone else, able to banter and bicker with him in a way you rarely if ever see with others

Its why when he gets tailored clothes for the first time Viktor is the first person he wants to show off too. Its why the one time he is intoxicated Viktor (and his large physique) are his chosen topic of converation. Its why at Christmas/Hanuhhah he gives him the gift of a tie while claiming its just because of the big guys poor fashion sense and that its "embarassing to be seen with him" (even that justification makes him sound like a nagging girlfriend)

A smaller detail is that during their iconic chess playing in the side content, set during their days staking out the remote town of Defiance, Viktor is shown very casually winning the game much to Mordecai's visible distress

This is hilarious but could also be taken as a metaphor for Viktor (possibly without even realizing it) breaking through his defensive emotional barriers

Something Mordecai doesn't know how to handle or respond to

The animated short only adds fuel to the fire

During their dispute over strategy Mordecai moves his face so close to Viktors that he almost knocks his cap off his head. His eyes at one point even dart down towards his mouth

Sharp eyed Vikdecai fans have also noted that Mordecai seems on some level to want the two of them to match

The tie being the same colour could simpy be Mordecai giving Viktor one of his own ties because its a joke gift and he just grabbed it on a whim to tease Viktor about his poor fashion choices

But think about the matching suits at the New Years party for 1926

I mean, seriously, not only is it the exact same style of suit in the same blue-grey colour distinct from everyone else, but they are standing in the perfect spots to be symmetrical to each other. Something that we all know means a lot to this compulsive man

Mordecai must have known there was going to be a big group photo ahead of time and then carefully planned this

Got matching suits made to his and Viktors measurements

Then most impressively convinced/nagged Viktor into cooperating (he may have taken off the tie and rolled up the sleeves but hey him playing along at all is quite a compromise from Viktor "I hate dressing up" Vasko)

Mordecai is intent on making Viktor retire and get out of danger, and avoid a situation where he gets sent to kill him by Marigold because he knows he could NOT do it, and his cover and investigation into Atlas's death would be over

He is horrified that Viktor is still working at Lackadaisy (though he again has to hide how much he cares) and that he has gotten not only hurt again but hurt by Mordecai again (albeit this time indirectly by stealing the guns)

Can this be read as simply platonic comradere? Absolutely

But there is something so *intense* in the fact he was willing to resort to kneecapping him. Its an extreme and desperate act that could only result from intense emotions, seemingly out of character for someone who tries very hard to appear logical and controlled.

While Vikdecai is a very fun ship when imagining them as an actual bickering married couple, I have often said that a tragic one-sided on Mordecai's part version of Vikdecai is the one that fits closest and surprisingly well into the canon.

His nagging and complaining about Viktor in that context take on a Tsundere aspect, both to protect himself from being found out and maybe even try and convince himself the uncomfortable alien feelings aren't there. He not only doesn't want others looking too hard at his feeling he doesn't want to examine them himself all that much

There is a heartbreaking but appealing angst to the idea of this extremely repressed man having such feelings for the first time in his life for his straight best friend and NOT knowing how to handle that. Having to perform the balancing act of being around him so much as his partner but being painfully aware that he can't let anyone catch on, especially not Viktor himself, as it would likely destroy his bond with the only person in town other than Atlas he is close to.

Though tragically he did that anyway later via the kneecapping, which while about trying to keep Viktor safe, he may now looking back try and tell himself its actually somehow "better" for Viktor to hate him because he wrongly thinks the feeling is mutual and that Mordecai never really cared about him, rather than disgust at Mordecai's doomed more than platonic feelings

Because he sees those feelings and his situation as a sad perfectly structured joke life has played on him

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My heart rate quickened when he was on screen btw. I am insane for him.

OOOOHHH MYYU GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I AM GHE MORDECAI LOVER ONG YAAAAYEHEHEGAHHAA

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Wattpad and Ao3 will be updated with my writing challenge entries. Maybe later I will add to them, and finally have them completed. For now, I’m calling it quits.

In terms of writing, I will be working on my Shadilver fanfics: motive. and Growing Pains.

I will make both available on both wattpad and ao3.

Same username as this one.

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Day 19 is so fucking dumb. I hate it. It’s so generic. Also, I can’t write anymore. I have too much stress in my life and my brain keeps shutting down. I just can’t do it anymore. I’m done.

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Day 17-18.

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You know, I hate to be that guy, but as this account becomes more of a writing account that is going to hold writing commissions and stuff, I wanted to let you guys know a little more about how I view things.

If you can’t tell, I’m quite minimal and somewhat strict with my ships when it comes to fandoms I am apart of, and there is a reason for this. I believe in realistic situations, and therefore, I will ship what seems the most realistic.

Some people ship for aesthetic reasons, they like the character designs next to each other, they like the color pallet, etc. But for some reason this shit boils my blood when it shouldn’t.

I guess I treat relationships too seriously, even when it is fictional. Just for people to be silly and just mash people together and call them a couple just irks me.

So, if you see me ship characters, I have a very long and detailed list on why I ship them. But to narrow it all down, it’s because if it were to actually happen at any point of time, it would be realistic and have the most potential to work out.

I guess you can say that this post is just a rant, since I’ve been scrolling on tumblr and a few other social media sites and just… people are careless with their ships and it’s interesting to say the least. Just know that I am not apart of your crowd, and I’m very serious with the things I do.

And for anyone who is sensitive or doesn’t understand my tone, no, I am not mad and hateful towards who does it. You can do whatever you want, don’t let my opinion deter you from doing what you like. I’m just telling you personally how I see things compared to how I do things. Again, please, continue shipping or whatever to your liking and desire. It’s just something I don’t roll with, and that will affect how certain people interact with me minimally.