canyouhearmemajortom

[canyouhearmemajortom]

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

[canyouhearmemajortom]

Things that work in fiction but not real life

torture getting reliable information out of people

knocking someone out to harmlessly incapacitate them for like an hour

jumping into water from staggering heights and surviving the fall completely intact

calling the police to deescalate a situation

rafting your way off a desert island

correctly profiling total strangers based on vibes

effectively operating every computer by typing and nothing else

ripping an IV out of your arm without consequences

heterosexual cowboy

[canyouhearmemajortom]

My artistic ability is limited but I need someone to draw this idea I had for a mini comic.

The scene starts with two lesbians going on a date, there’s a cute fem and a butch wearing a shirt that says “not a werewolf” but she clearly is one, dialogue is as follows:

Butch: …yeah and I really think you’ll like my dogs they’re super friendly.

(The fem looks slightly awkward)

Fem: I’m actually… not a big dog person.

(The butch werewolf looks slightly surprised but not entirely put out)

Butch: oh really? Why?

Fem: they’re just a little too slobbery for me, and they usually smell bad.

The fem goes on to explain how they don’t mind other peoples dogs yada yada yada but the text fades out and we cut to the butch who’s just standing there with the words “slobbery” and “smells bad” stabbing into her like they do in anime or manga when someone gets insulted.

Bonus points if you add the guy with sand running through his fingers meme in the background but with dog hair and a half wolf form.

[canyouhearmemajortom]

Arthur Lester's best tips to survive the horrors:

Arson

Rock. Just really go to town on a monster with a rock

Make a fragment of an elder god love you so much he won't let you die

Remember that to be human is to make mistakes. Sometimes that mistake is murder

Randomly but earnestly call people "good boy." Especially effective against those who want to kill you

[canyouhearmemajortom]

[canyouhearmemajortom]

tutorial for drawing characters with cleft lip! sorry that it's mostly unilateral-centric but it makes up the vast majority of resources and photos. still tried to get tips for drawing bilateral clefts in though.

please keep in mind that this is an introductory drawing tutorial and has some generalizations in it, so not every “X is Z” statement will be true for Actual People : )

if you draw any characters using this feel free to tag me!!

[canyouhearmemajortom]

I recently found out they played Stan dating simulator

[canyouhearmemajortom]

as much as the concept of Jesus being a fairly normal lad has its charms, im personally very intrigued by the idea of him being just… extremely weird. not even in a mystical sense, just…….staggeringly BIZZARRE. 

you go to the well to get some water, and here’s Miriam’s boy, staring at the sky, completely still. his expression is unreadable. you hazard a hello and ask how he’s doing, and he slowly, unblinkingly, lowers his gaze on you (he’s 8 and is missing his frontal teeth, not that this is making you any less uncomfortable) and says “I cannot speak of the state of my being, Nathan son of Saul, my brother, but rejoice for the water you shall take today will be as pure as the soul of the children of Heaven”

…you start sweating

[canyouhearmemajortom]

Felt like doing something picture book like.

[canyouhearmemajortom]

Tumblr added a bunch of tracking shit to share urls, so now ill teach you how to get rid of them

if you copy a url by sharing on the website, the link will look like this

getting rid of tracking in these is easy, just delete everything after the question mark and you are golden

in the case for the app, its slightly more complicated

first you have to delete at. that appears before tumblr(.)com the other tracking shit on this one has a lot more info, so please, clean app urls. after the first set of numbers, there's a / you have to delete everything after it

a clean Tumblr url should look like this

blog safely

[canyouhearmemajortom]

Concept: in a setting where vampires exist and can only be harmed by symbols of faith (crucifixes, etc.), a James Randi-style skeptic/supernatural debunker witnesses his family murdered by vampires, and dedicated his life to hunting down what he believes are a cabal of ordinary serial killers with a blood fetish and some cheap plastic fangs. They die when he shoots them with an ordinary gun, granted holy status by the sheer force of his belief that they are actually just ordinary humans who will die when shot.

[canyouhearmemajortom]

The Glassworker - Mano Animation Studios

Directed by - Usman Riaz

Pakistan’s First Ever 2D Hand Drawn Animated Film

Currently in Pakistani Theaters as of July 26 International release is coming soon <3

English Trailer || Urdu Trailer

[canyouhearmemajortom]

I've been really enjoying all the heart-wrenching and beautiful art episode 43 of malevolent has spawned, so to even things out here's even more monty python shitposts

Bonus:

[canyouhearmemajortom]

"If you suddenly found out that I was something, maybe even worse than a wraith... What would you do?"

"I would've forgiven you."

[canyouhearmemajortom]

ive found that partially treated mental illness can sometimes look to uninvolved onlookers like faked mental illness.

[canyouhearmemajortom]

Finally organized the Arthur injury/incident chart into something actually presentable! Red are for things that would definitely leave scars or other noticeable evidence, orange are too unspecified to say but could have left notable marks. [Image ID in Alt]

[canyouhearmemajortom]

So I’ve been having… thoughts about a Phantom of the Opera Malevolent AU. And I have two (Still being heavily workshoped though)

In both AUs John still became a fragment but doesn’t get trapped in a book. He doesn’t have the same powers the KIY does, so he decides to haunt an opera house as something to do. Still wears the mask and everything, mostly human shaped but underneath is you know the usual eldritch god, who people shouldn’t really look at. 

First version of this AU. One day, the pianist, Arthur, accidentally stumbles into one of the tunnels John left open. And since he’s blind, when he runs into John he obviously isn’t freaked out by the mask but instead thinks John is a crew member. And then they become friends and John has to stop murdering the people he hates. Turns out Arthur is actually one of the private investigators who is trying to figure out for the managers what’s going on. (Again still workshopping) 

Second version, if I really wanna go all in of the Phantom stuff. Faroe Lester as a Christine Daae type character, daughter of a dead musician. Get rid of the romance subplot and just make it bffs. John wants to help her but isn’t musically inclined so chaos and murder ensues. (Angel of music more like… uhhhhhhhh eldritch god of plays… I got nothing) 

Thank you for listening to me scream into the void.