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*snifts wine* do i detect a hint of grapes?

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“Get his ass” Is so unreasonably funny to me. A huge win for the English language. Today’s version of “seize him” imo

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bro your fat throbbing cock is so annoying distracting i'm trying to play roller coaster tycoon

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My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

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“anything you want princess” me to me when i want to buy stuff

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Men don’t pretend to be tangled up in Christmas lights while shirtless like they used to.

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queer stories matter i'm gay and i saw a bird today

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bf who asks “you want a treat??” while unbuttoning his pants

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I'm just saying, "We created a computer to make decisions for us, but it assimilated all of the bias that was implicit in the dataset and now makes incredibly racist decisions that we don't question because computers are logical and don't make mistakes" literally sounds like a planet-of-the-week morality play on the original Star Trek.

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You unlock secret dialogue by being open about your kinks with friends

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I love chain lightening what a classic spell. fuck you and you and you and you and you and

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generally speaking a lot of people wrongly take TERFs and other transphobes at face value when assembling their awesome rhetorical gotchas in a way that makes them seem like gullible suckers

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