canisdiamandis

[canisdiamandis]

[canisdiamandis]

YES he is a MASSIVE BITCH but hes also BISEXUAL and a PUNCHING BAG and ALMOST DIES AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK. AND hes my little meow meow.

[canisdiamandis]

[canisdiamandis]

friend who lives hundreds of miles away: i made food

me: can i have some

[canisdiamandis]

oh this collar? no no it's not a sex thing, yeah it's not really for fashion either. yeah no it keeps my head attached. yeah my head? it's detached? yeah no it falls right off if i don't wear the collar, huge pain in the ass. the jingle bell is a sex thing though.

[canisdiamandis]

i'm tired of the lies

[canisdiamandis]

when you think something is a universal experience and it ain't

i was talking to @emptyinnermost last night and i said i have that thing where the roots of my hair hurt when I move it the wrong way.

she had no idea what i was talking about, this has never happened to her.

i think it happens when it dries in a certain direction and then you move it in the other direction? but i don't really know.

anyway, please tell me if i'm the only freak this happens to or if other people have also experienced this.

[canisdiamandis]

🌊

[canisdiamandis]

This evening’s program

[canisdiamandis]

He lunged after my cock like he was a polar bear. And I was the last coca cola on earth

[canisdiamandis]

A rest day isn't enough. I need one billion years alone in a crystal.

[canisdiamandis]

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[canisdiamandis]

we shpuld make a tumblr bar with drinks like sonic screwdriver and the baker street mule

[canisdiamandis]

Only day you can reblog this

[canisdiamandis]