cancerinthejungle

[cancerinthejungle]

The machine beeps but we sing #rihanna #workworkwork as #immunotherapy drips down the vein #braincancer (at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center)

[cancerinthejungle]

When prescribed steroids for an extended period of time, the pill bottle should most definitely come with a warning that reads “may lead to over consumption or addiction to bark thins”. Ugh I am averaging a bag of these a night. I’m swollen and overall look deformed . help. Summer body here I come.

[cancerinthejungle]

Today we go to battle. It marks 13 years and 4 plus months of living with #braincancer. I’m sitting in this chair today accompanied by #teambradley ready to make sure I don't spend the next decade living with this disease. So far 3 brain surgeries, countless #chemotherapy cocktails, #radiation, and participation in two non-FDA approved clinical trials since I was 17 have all kept my disease stable enough that I can say I truly enjoyed my twenties, made unforgettable memories, laughed a lot and learned a lot. I would not be sitting here today if it weren’t for my parents and siblings and friends who have carried me through the tough days and months and if I hadn’t met Ruben whom we all agree should be canonized. But enough is enough because today we start #immunotherapy, in this next chapter of #fuckcancer. #iwanttomeetmynephew, iamintwobestfriendsweddings, @stupidcancer 😷👊🏼��🏼 (at Memorial Sloane Kettering)

[cancerinthejungle]

It’s funny but it’s true. My family would do anything for me and I am grateful everyday for them. I couldn’t bare the thought of any of them having to pool their resources and hard earned money just to pay for this new treatment I’m about to commence so the news today of possible coverage is exciting and one less stressor on my plate right now.

Xoxox Xbklyn

[cancerinthejungle]

Happy fifth anniversary to my rock. I'll never let go🍀

[cancerinthejungle]

Today I headed for my second session of acupuncture. A.K.A. Mission: “headaches go away”. So I knew today’s experience would be a little different than my first because this time it was group acupuncture. It’s cheaper and the hours are more flexible so I thought I’d give it a try. It’s at the same place. The Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer center for integrative Medicine. So I pretty much knew what to expect as far as treatment goes but doing it with a group of strangers could get interesting. And Interesting it was. I arrive a few minutes before therapy starts and am directed to the classroom area which resembles a large yoga studio. The gentleman who performed my private acupuncture greeted me and will also be the therapist for this session. I’m told to pick one of the empty tables and lay down. There are about two rows of 6 tables filling up with women from what I can see. The individual tables are similar to the chairs you lay on at the doctor’s office and each has that protective paper on top of it that gets ripped off after each person sits down. It appears the room has filled up because the Acupuncturist begins wheeling his cart full of needles around to each person. I can hear him talk softly to each patient, he appears to know why each person is here and a little bit about their medical history. I hear him pulling up to me, and we chat quick about my head pain . I roll my skinny work pants up to my knees which was a struggle and he asked if I was comfortable because he didn’t want me to lose circulation in my lower legs. I lied because it actually did feel like a had a tourniquet around my knees. Note to self: Don’t wear skinny work pants to Acupuncture next time. Rolled up my sleeves no problem and he began the stabbing. The first one is a big fat needle right between my eyeballs. Yowza. The rest are down my lower arms and legs like last time. Before he wishes me a nice rest and wheels away he asked if I wanted a blanket. I never refuse a blanket, especially at an MSK facility because they usually come fresh out of the microwave but I wasn’t sure how he could put a blanket on me while there were needles protruding from my front side. But I was so glad I said yes because next thing I knew I was covered in tin foil. Not the coziest of blankets but I think the aluminum is supposed to prevent your body heat from escaping your body (I just made that up). They reminded me of the blankets you see marathon runners wrapped in after they cross the finish line. Since I will never in my lifetime be crossing the finish line of a marathon at least now I know what it feels like to be wrapped in a tin foil blanket which is kind of the same thing. Score. I can sense that the therapist has finished poking everyone and has left the room because I don’t hear any whispers, just the fake waterfall sounds coming from the stereo. My eyes remain closed and we’re instructed to relax for the next 30 minutes. The room stays quiet until a women in the row behind me begins a deep breathing pattern. I can’t see her but I can sense she’s nearby and either struggling with a respiratory issue or really taking this deep breathing strategy seriously. The room is no longer quiet and I’m positive everyone is distracted by not only her deep breathing but also by her restlessness. Now remember we’re all lying on medical paper sheets so the slightest movement makes the sound of crumpled paper and some of us have tin foil blankets on. This lady clearly has on the blanket. She cannot sit still. It’s quite distracting and I’m smiling to myself because I’m reminded of the scene in Big Daddy when the little kid wets the bed and Adam Sandler puts newspapers down to soak it up but lays the kid right on top of the papers and tells him to go back to sleep (see clip above). She just won’t lay still. Even though I never lift up my body to peak around the room I just know everyone can hear her and is repeating in their head “sit still, LAY!”. I pass it off as discomfort and am not so bothered by her because to be honest I’m not so comfortable myself but when the first loud flatulence rang out followed by moans I knew something was up. This poor lady wasn’t even trying to cover up her gas pains by adding in an occasional cough. The paper and tin foil were on her side but even the sound of that crinkling couldn’t mask the sound of her ripping farts one after another. By the time a dozen thick, wet, long, loud ones had released I knew this lady needed some help. She was clearly in pain, I hurt for her, the poor thing. Luckily she’s not on the same diet as my boyfriend because I didn’t smell anything the whole time even though she was fairly close to me. All I could think of was thank God my Sister wasn’t in the room nearby me because she would have lost it and the two of us would have been inappropriately laughing the whole time. I swear our stomachs would have hurt so bad from giggling over this poor women’s misery. But you can’t and I’m so glad Alley, yes Alley wasn’t there because these people are going through treatment, and are dealing with terrible side effects yet they are getting off their couches, beds, etc. to try alternative medicine if it helps in the slightest deal with their everyday pain. I’m starting to get concerned because I think I hear her mumbling “I’m so nauseous”. Yikes. Now if I don’t smell your farts I’m sure as hell going to smell your barf and this is not going to be fun. This poor lady can’t excuse herself to the restroom because we all have needles in us. We can’t get up until the session is over and we’re free of needles. OMG has it been half hour yet?? This lady is going to explode from one end and it’s not going to be pretty. FINALLY I hear a man’s voice, yes the acupuncturist is coming in to save the day! The lady must be sitting up because I think he heads straight to her to attend to her needles. I hear her say “I don’t feel good” and I hear a door slam. “PHEW” crisis averted. I don’t know if this guy heard all the farts while he was waiting outside the room but when he wheeled over to me I wasn’t sure if I should remain quiet or say “wasn’t me.” He removed my needles, which is the best part of the session, I put back on my socks, shoes, and jacket and headed for the room’s exit door. A lot of the ladies were hurriedly trying to do the same. One of them actually stopped me at the exit and said “are you going to be alright getting home?” I had never seen this lady before and the puzzled look I gave her must have made her realize she had the wrong gal because she continued “oh that wasn’t you?” haha I almost said “no that wasn’t me farting the whole time” but instead I just replied “No that wasn’t me.” It was very sweet and considerate of her though. Of course I just jetted to the lobby and rushed to the subway but I did hear the receptionist page the therapist on my way out about a sick lady so I’m pretty sure she was attended to. How’s that for an epic group Acupuncture session? Dare I try it again. Well the answer is Yes because compared to $125 out of pocket it’s only $50 so I will be doing this weekly for the next 4 weeks. Stay tuned. Xoxo CBKlyn

[cancerinthejungle]

Day 1 of six week integrative medicine approach to tackling my headaches without adding more drugs to my daily cocktail . Just when I thought I’d been to every Manhattan Memorial Sloan Kettering building I found myself at this holistic center complete with fancy couches and a nice therapeutic vibe. I came here to “relax and restore” by letting a young man stick needles in my body from my forehead down to my feet. Why is it that wherever they send me needles are always involved? I was reluctant to give accupuncture a shot but after this first session I’m optimistic it’ll decrease the frequency of my headaches. We shall see.

Xoxo CBKlyn

[cancerinthejungle]

I only Tweet to vent😤. please don’t follow me it’s pathetic. 🙍🏻

[cancerinthejungle]

In the wake of the WHO’s (World Health Organization) latest report stunning carnivores across the globe that red meat and processed meats cause cancer, I have been begged and pressed by literally, not one person to weigh in on this highly controversial publication but intend on doing so regardless.  So what does a pescatarian (vegetarian who eats fish), non-smoking, presently non-alcohol consuming, law abiding cancer patient have to say about this?  Let’s just say that I didn’t start eliminating meats from my diet after this study came out.  It’s been well over a decade since I’ve consumed red meat or pork products.  Now I’m not one of those weird humanitarians who chose this lifestyle for moral reasons.  Hey, survival of the fittest right?  Meat products were eliminated from my diet at a very early age and at a time in my life when I was trying to depart with my Middle School baby fat and therefore I was educated enough to know that these foods were not good for the wasteline.  Throughout the years I learned to eliminate other chemicals, dyes, syrups, and other processed foods from my diet not because one study or any doctor advised me to but because my conscious told me that eating foods containing ingredients that I couldn’t pronounce and weren’t found naturally in the earth most likely were not good for me.

  I struggled where to go with this entry and rather than share my intimate and embarrassing history of how far I’ve come from eating tubs of cool whip for dinner and drinking liters of Diet Pepsi like it was my job, I’ve realized that no matter what these wishy-washy studies show, no victim of any life threatening disease should feel as they’re somehow at fault for the diagnosis that they now have to live with. Am I guilty of preaching what I believe to be good eating habits to those I love, sure!  I think we all should!  However if you meet (no pun intended) someone who is living with cancer SUPPOSEDLY linked to the consumption of certain foods you would and should NEVER cast blame on this person or make them feel as though their lifestyle choices were a direct result of their diagnosis.  There are few worse feelings than enduring the pain and suffering of a life altering disease and then somehow feeling as though you yourself may have caused said fate is indescribable. 

 I will never forget how I felt one day as a 17 year old having a conversation with a middle aged family friend; an educated school nurse mind you.  This lady was curious to learn about my disease as I’m sure many were considering how rare it was for a teenager to receive this diagnosis.  Now let me preface the situation. I was alone at the time. Relatively stable and rarely cried.  But when this lady asked me if perhaps radioactivity from microwaves may have contributed to the growth of a tumor in my brain, my whole body started to boil, I fled the scene, jumped in the car, drove home to my parents and started acting like a lunatic.  I was so enraged by her stupidity that I couldn’t stop yelling and screaming and crying.  My parents had no idea what had just happened and even when I tried to explain it they couldn’t understand why I was acting like I was.  But that moment of questioning myself “did I cause this”? was all it took to take me into a lonely place that I surely wouldn’t want anyone else to have to experience. 

 Of course I didn’t believe her because I was convinced my world renowned pediactic nuero oncologist at the time was telling me the truth when I asked during one of our first consultations “do you know what caused this?”.  He replied that it could have been anything, could happen to anyone, and could have been dormant in my brain for years.  In fact he followed up with a question. “Do you use a cell phone?”. I replied “Yes”. “Well then what ear do you hold it up to?” he asked.  I said “My left ear because I’m a lefty.”  He ended the conversation by affirming “well your tumor is on the right side of your brain so it wasn’t caused by cell phone use.

xoxo

CBklyn

[cancerinthejungle]

Don’t forget the guys

October is breast cancer awareness month, but don’t forget the guys, it’s rare but they can get it too! To learn about breast cancer and how to recognize the early warning signs check out http://www.15-40.org/breast-cancer/

[cancerinthejungle]

My family and I have been blessed in many ways but when we met the Gooch family back in the early 90’s the bond we shared with this family brought us so much joy and memories spanning decades we’ll cherish forever.

This week our dear friend Ida Gooch lost her battle with cancer which she tirelessly fought for over a year, never showing signs of weakness and never out of touch with her sense of humor, poise, and always shining brightly.  When I met Ida she was Mrs. Gooch.  After many sleepovers at her house she insisted I call her Ida.  She was Ida throughout my childhood but when she was fighting her illness and up until the day she passed she was my Hero.

Ida gave me many gifts throughout my life. Pool parties and pajama parties; a handmade quilt; and countless others.  She hosted candlelit dinner parties for me and my siblings accompanied with jazz music, cloth napkins, and steak knives before we were of the age to drive.  She taught us how to be respectable ladies but let us slumber nude if that’s how we so choose and she taught us how to make the famous Gooch salad.

The greatest gift Ida could have given me is the friendship I’ve formed with her two daughters who are spitting images of her.  They are the most kind and loving women and the best friends I’ve ever got to know.  They have their mother’s Long Island accent (when they want to show it), her artistic talent, her compassion and courage.  Ida may have left us too soon but I will see her every time I am with her children and will never forget how her and her husband crafted such a loving childhood for all of us who grew up with the Gooches.

Rest in peace Ida. My hero.

This picture was taken less than a month before Ida’s passing at the wedding of her youngest child.  This was the last time I got to see her and I am so grateful that my last memory of Ida is from one of the most joyous occasions of their familys’ lives when she was absolutely glowing.

[cancerinthejungle]

Weekend beach essentials: swimsuit, sunscreen, sunhat, and steroids.

[cancerinthejungle]

So my little sister Alley recently had to take her cat Church to the vet because she was having a bad allergic reaction.  When I asked Alley how it went she said her little Churchy is doing much better. The veterinarian performed an EKG on her and then sent them home with steroids for Church.  We laughed about this because it’s very similar to my routine when I visit the clinic.  I’ve been on take-home steroids a few times over the last couple months due to chronic head pain but the EKGs are performed monthly to make sure my heart rhythm isn’t changing from the chemo pills.  Luckily, my chest is smooth and hairless for the most part so I don’t have to get shaved every time they hook me up to the EKG machine because as you can see from the pic Alley sent me, Church’s chest got buzzed before her test.  Out of respect for Church and her mom, I covered up the nip slips.

I never in my life connected with cats (mostly because I’m allergic) until now.  Church, you’re my girl.

Xoxo

CBklyn

[cancerinthejungle]

It’s either a sign you watch too much racy crime drama on Netflix or being stuck in an MRI machine for a brain scan for an hour and a half is when you start to compare your exam experience to an episode of 48 Hours Mystery. There are certain things you will only hear when going through the MRI process such as “do you have any metal objects implanted in your body”? And then there are things you would only hear if you were to be kidnapped by a serial rapist such as “if you scream or try to run away I will kill you!” But what if these two worlds were to collide? Allow me to quote some lines by both male and female nurses and technicians from this past Monday night’s MRI at the Memorial Sloan Kettering main campus that left me pondering a blog-worthy experience as I lay in discomfort while this obnoxiously loud machine takes pictures of my brain for 90 minutes. “Ms. Bradley? Hello we’re ready for you. Here’s your robe, take everything off except for your panties.” (Please no I did not just hear a male nurse refer to my underwear as “PANTies”. “Lay down on the table.” “We’re coming in to inject you now, stay still. You may feel some tingling or wetness, that’s normal.” (I KNOW! It’s not my first rodeo). “Mam, please stop moving! You need to lay still” (I was behaving like a very impatient patient. 6pm exam after day of work, hangry, butt and legs fell asleep. I wasn’t having it.) I really thought there was more inappropriateness to report when I went to go write this but given the fact that my short term memory is on par with a goldfish’s that’s all I have. Despite squirming like a little brat throughout the exam luckily they didn’t have to repeat any of the images. And when I was finally pulled out of the machine, table lowered, I reprimanded the technicians for their lack of effort in making the tables comfortable for patients who have to spend extensive amounts of time in there (90 minutes is super long. It’s because I’m still participating in this trial drug and the Sponsor needs a gazillion images.) They shrugged off my request, as if victims of creepy abductors have a say in the conditions they are left in. Ok so now I’m convinced that when I go for my MRI’s I’m inserting myself into an episode of Dateline. Yikes. Xoxo CBklyn

[cancerinthejungle]

[cancerinthejungle]

When your oncologist prescribes you steroids to ease the pain from raging headaches, you go out and get yourself a badass haircut to compliment the roids.

Xoxo CBklyn

[cancerinthejungle]

Hey. Over here! Um you forgot about me! Can I go home now?? Sometimes the Urgent Care Center at MSKCC is so crowded they stick you in the hallway.