canberracthulhu

[canberracthulhu]

“The First Assistant Secretary will see you now.”

[canberracthulhu]

While Estelle found that her unexpected integration with Uxagnneh came with certain advantages, none of them involved her hair care routine.

[canberracthulhu]

‘Well,’ said Miriam, brightly, ‘if we’re all agreed those are two class 12 entities, I’ll amend our fieldwork expenses forms.’

[canberracthulhu]

As Dorothy always told herself, while work in the Bureau of Tentacle Grading wasn’t the most glamorous of assignments, it was vital to the Department’s functioning.

[canberracthulhu]

Dress code for the Department’s summer garden party: business casual, sun dress, or tentacles.

[canberracthulhu]

It was generally felt that whatever Madeleine’s rendition of “happy heat death of the universe, Mister Nyarlathotep” lacked in genuine warmth was amply offset by the scale of the ensuing carnage.

[canberracthulhu]

“Oh gods,” thought Miriam, clutching her martini, “ if I make eye contact with Zhebb’xur he’s going to bore us all with stories of his last field trip collecting flayed souls.”

[canberracthulhu]

“Do close the curtains, darling. If you stare into the Yoc’thiogguth too long, they just stare back through you.”

[canberracthulhu]

‘Well, we all regret the indignities forced upon us by budget cuts Lord Azathlad, but as you change the lightbulb would it help if we were to chant “Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn”?

[canberracthulhu]

‘No, Mr Armitage, it’s not a scar. More a zipper. It’s not like the First Assistant Secretary can travel to these meetings without a vessel.’

[canberracthulhu]

“… and, concluding orientation, here we have the Crypt of Khaiopex the Undying and Staff Cafeteria. Questions?”

[canberracthulhu]

“I can assure you, Mister Thwaites that here in forensic accounting we do not make jokes. Or mistakes. Now, about your travel dispersements.”

[canberracthulhu]

“We’ve been over this before my Lord Akthaadhoor. The Department’s reasonable work policy specifically prohibits these out-of-hours meetings.”

[canberracthulhu]

On the whole, Helena found the move to open plan offices in the Department rather distracting.

[canberracthulhu]

“Why does the director have her portrait hung on here? Oh I’m sorry, Mr Whyborn, if there’s been a misunderstanding. That is the director.”

[canberracthulhu]

‘I’m looking for Gn’xar in Room 277B. Is that in Central Administration or the Garden of Torment Annex?’

[canberracthulhu]

The intake class of ‘38 were widely thought too naive and pretty to take on Great Zag’lth. As events transpired, it turned out to be more the other way around.