canadianfouls - Tumblr blog

[canadianfouls]

The Canadian Summer has gone, and in it's place the layered fouls are back!! It's that time of year again folks where we ponder for HOURS on the biological mystery of the inability to determine a correct colour palate in the face of changing seasons.

[canadianfouls]

Yes hello this is Mrs Santa Claus, awfully sorry about the noise but I'm currently at a basketball game, you have to multitask at this time of year. I can imagine I look like a real twat with my Bluetooth, but honest to god, when you're managing 1000 elves and trying to get Santa motivated for his one and only job for a year, it's a must.

[canadianfouls]

After seeing quite a few monstrosities in Western Australia, I'm contemplating changing Canadian Fouls to Colonial Fouls.

[canadianfouls]

[canadianfouls]

The West-end hit 'Wicked' had to be cancelled this evening; the theatre company cited that the wicked witch was missing. Latest reports suggest she has made for the Atlantic and could have made it as far as Toronto.

[canadianfouls]

Nothing like a grown ginger snoozing in his ginger hair and ankle socks on a Sunday afternoon in Starbucks. So cute!!!! I can't handle it. Wanna squish his little cheeks!! 

[canadianfouls]

According to the Urban Dictionary: 

Gypsy's Curse:  Male Impotence; failure to achieve an erection. Classically blamed on a failure to buy pegs or lucky heather many years ago.

"Sorry love, I've got the gypsy's curse. It's like trying to get toothpaste back in the tube"

[canadianfouls]

Meatloaf was spotted on King Street earlier today. He's part way to converting to Amish.

It's not too late Meatloaf! Don't do it! Step away from the long skirt. We love your rock 'n' roll!! 

#whydolargeladiesalwayscarryoverlysmallbags 

[canadianfouls]

This person's outfit was successfully diagnosed with late stage split personality disorder and is currently undergoing aggressive treatment #didyougetdressedinthedark? 

[canadianfouls]

Public Warning: Human attacked by Bettlejuice like snake whilst trying to board a streetcar in Downtown Toronto today. Snake will eat you from head down, has a huge dislike for riding boots. 

[canadianfouls]

Friday conundrum: 

You wake up, excited that it's Friday and it's almost over for 2 days. But wait, Friday also means........dress down day, AND you haven't done laundry for almost a week. Gosh.

'OH WHAT WILL I WEAR TODAY???'....  You better get creative lady!

"I haven't worn my tie-dye leggies for a while, and it IS getting cold. And my beige skirt!! Oh hello you little beauty. Throw on a pair of knee-high off-brown boots, stripy scarf, my zebra bag, and VOILA!"

Who said Friday has to look bad?! Still got it lady, still got it.

[canadianfouls]

It has come to my attention that Canadian news anchors quite often believe it's ok to dress like they work for a radio station. 

There's only one place you can get away with wearing a red leatherish dentist looking zip up top thingy: NO-WHERE. 

And if this is acceptable torso wear, what do we think is going on with the leggies? You got it. Croc and feet blankets. You heard it here first. Thank you Toronto. 

[canadianfouls]

People. There is indeed something worse than UGGs. Thigh slappin', Toe tappin', horse shaggin' COWGURL UGGs. 

[canadianfouls]

Apply here for Canadian Fouls!!! You..........

You're old. You're mildly disabled. You shop in Wal-Mart. You wear shoes in the Winter that are made to wear in the Summer - feet blankets help you stay warm. You badass up your walking stick with neon shizz.

Post your resume to #itsnotmyfaultiwasnevertaughthowtodressmyselfproperly

[canadianfouls]

The Wolf: Independent, loyal, passionate, pathfinder,intelligent teacher, true surviver, proud defender of territory. 

Meanwhile in Wal-Mart: " What's dat movie called again? One I really wanted? Yeah, Whip It. Learns some new moves and popcorns night. Word".