camp-mithril-lake

[camp-mithril-lake]

viktor vs cait innit

[camp-mithril-lake]

Main Post

Quick caveat remember when deciding this, though the exact details of how they win can vary, both combatants are fully committed to the fight.

[camp-mithril-lake]

Main Post

Quick caveat remember when deciding this, though the exact details of how they win can vary, both combatants are fully committed to the fight.

[camp-mithril-lake]

Damus out-freaking Pharma isn’t on the top of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs but it should be

[camp-mithril-lake]

(335) Ultra Magnus gets briefly dumped in a plasma lake and, immediately after he wakes from a medical coma, he discovers that he has developed the ability to sense, identify and fully comprehend the feelings of everyone around him, no matter how well-concealed. If he's concentrating, or the feeling is powerful enough, he can detect it from all the way across a military base.

Ultra Magnus considers this highly inconvenient, obstructive to his work, distracting, and, frankly, invasive. He spends many hours with Ratchet, trying to have the condition fixed. But they don't know how it works, and it's very hard to get a handle on how to change it.

There is a long period of neurotic resistance to change. But, in the end, other than being blindsided and silently appalled (and, oh so quietly, stressfully, flattered) by how many of his subordinates — and enemies??? — are sexually attracted to Ultra Magnus when he's giving commands, this ability does turn out to be more of a gift than a curse.

[camp-mithril-lake]

(336) A light-hearted cracky smut idea today: there is a brief, weird lull in the war. It's an unprecedented act of cooperation which occurs when both factions observe a rust plague quarantine so medicines can be created and rolled out for the new mutation. (Megatron is, of course, in an induced coma and infected for the duration, because he'd never let an opportunity like this pass him by otherwise.)

During this lull, Jazz makes the delightful discovery that if you get stuck in quarantine with a bunch of Decepticons, and you so happen to have the processing speed — and he does, just about — you can actually plug in and interface with an entire trine of seekers all at once. It's probably not medically recommended, but it IS a lot of fun. It's unclear if the command trine is also just discovering this, or if they're just idly enjoying the novel spectacle of overwhelming a cute Autobot until he crashes before they go right back to murder, or if they're plotting something dark and nefarious. Perhaps all three! They contain multitudes.

AFTER that lull... Prowl is the unfortunate officer who must now figure out how to discipline Jazz. Not for his behaviour under the quarantine truce, no, no. They all made weird choices then. No, Prowl is faced with the disciplinary issue of Jazz's brand new habit of "calling a truce" for three hours so he can hook up.

Worse still: this tactic has actually worked. Four times now. Because with Megatron still in recovery, Starscream can, in fact, enforce a truce, and he's self indulgent enough to do it for a trine-wide booty call.

[camp-mithril-lake]

(340) Crack taken seriously but make it very smutty: Today, as a penalty for the storage and use of ideologically inappropriate MTO exploitation pornography, Tarn is cruelly revoking a flashy speedster's spike licence.

Once his certificate is revoked, the soldier will have to retake the exam if he wants to use his spike ever again. The exam is well known to be gruelling, and you cannot get recertified unless you get 100%.

Unfortunately for Tarn, the speedster whose spike licence he's tearing up is really, really, REALLY into denial...

[camp-mithril-lake]

(341) After a crash landing on an alien planet that shows signs of recent energon crystal development, two lowest-rung Decepticon grunts and Commander Starscream are the sole surviving crew.

Three days into this new, horrible period of his life, Flare (grunt #1) makes the discovery that Commander Starscream is definitely hiding an ailment — not an injury from the crash, thankfully, but rather, a previously mild coding virus that has drastically worsened under recent stress. It's not unclear if he hasn't noticed how sick he is, or if the famously paranoid Starscream is just pretending this problem doesn't exist because he doesn't trust them with information about his vulnerabilities.

Either way, it's more than a grunt's spark is worth to dent Starscream's ego. So now Flare and Motor (grunt #2) are suddenly stuck awkwardly trying to wrangle their increasingly sick commanding officer, without letting on that they've noticed he's sick at all...

[camp-mithril-lake]

(342) Today's fic idea is a scenario in which Jazz is required to "borrow" Prowl for some intergalactic spy work where his own face would be too well known and unwelcome. The tension is palpable, and it's both interpersonal and operational:

Firstly, Prowl taking orders from Jazz is a complete reversal of their regular roles within the Autobot forces.

Secondly... somehow, millions of years after the idea of any cybertronian government became irrelevant, an undercover cop still looks... so much like an undercover cop? Prowl, man, please.

[camp-mithril-lake]

(347) After a teeny tiny quantum experiment that goes horribly wrong, regular Lost Light has to rescue Brainstorm (the scientist who fucked up) and Perceptor (Brainstorm's supposed supervisor, who actually ISN'T a quantum entanglement expert of any kind) from the shattered glass universe. Nautica (the quantum mechanic who has not fucked up today!) gives the usual suspects a grand total of five hours to find and collect Perceptor and Brainstorm from the weird topsy turvy mirror universe full of evil autobots.

Rodimus Prime guarantees he'll make it back with both of their favourite magicians intact. Then he actually travels to the new universe and discovers that:

He hates his evil mercenary facial hair?? (this is the most important point) and

Despite Brainstorm's twitchy nattering that he wants to go home right now, Rodimus Prime can't leave without first kidnapping several Decepticons out of a feeling that he suspects might just be... overwhelming pity? Like? Get them out of here? (Secret point 3: can he trade his Megatron in for this one? Yes?)

[camp-mithril-lake]

(349) Today's fic idea is: high command budget meetings. Contrast the Decepticon and Autobot ones. How are funds allocated and under what rules and justifications? Who keeps the best records? The worst? How do commanders explain their expense requirements, and which ones are clearly embezzling?

[camp-mithril-lake]

(363) I think today's fic idea is a little mutual cross-faction pining from Skyfire and Starscream.

They are both convinced the other one is experiencing a wild and fulfilling romantic life with partner(s) from his current faction. They are both wrong, because actually they imprinted on each other like baby ducklings nine million years ago and they're pretty much stuck.

Starscream is insulting and jealous about Skyfire's imagined lovers, which his trine finds variously funny and annoying. Skyfire is quietly kind of bleak about Starscream moving on without him, which the other Autobot scientists find kinda sad.

It comes to a head during a meeting over a possible agreement and cessation to the war, during which Skyfire and Starscream get stuck in an elevator together. They make up and then nobody sees them for a week.

[camp-mithril-lake]

(366) Megatron gets dumped.

In the long history of the dwindling cybertronian species, this is recorded as a population-level catastrophe.

[camp-mithril-lake]

(391) Megatronus is defeated, captured and brought before the primacy in chains, well before his nascent revolution becomes a serious threat to the planet's stability.

Meanwhile, Optimus Prime is a fish out of water. He's a brand new Prime recognised only because nobody could fully cover up the extremely public occasion of the matrix of leadership selecting him. He is perfectly aware that his own government is about an inch from assassinating him for sheer inconvenience.

Optimus Prime's public and ceremonial acceptance of Megatronus's surrender in chains is scheduled to occur one cycle before they execute him via smelting pit. But he's thought long and hard about his precarious position, Megatron's ideology, and the activities of the wider civil service, and he thinks he has a much better solution for both of them.

That's why he's sneaking through his own palace to visit a high security prison cell tonight...

[camp-mithril-lake]

List of things I'd find compelling in Tarn fics and have 0 time to write.

1. Religious mania, this mf has been high off his ass on every single substance and indoctrinated in a war cult from hell for 4 million years. Bro is having more visions than the goddamn oracle of Delphi at this rate. I think the implicit slow burn horror of realizing how fucked up he is either from his point of view or from another character's would be so goddamn interesting.

2. I just think the DJD being lost in deep space by themselves and forced to escape from some eldritch monstrosity that's beyond mortal comprehension a la annihilation style would be so interesting. Like how does a man who's already got a loose grip on reality with vocal weaponry gonna handle space cthulu?? How's a gaggle of space murder hobos gonna handle a prometheus/alien type of monster invasion? Bonus points for maximum body horror.

3. The implicit message that is Tarn being obsessed with classical music and perhaps able to play it, but never being able to write his own until something breaks him away from Megatron. Maybe he gets into new kinds of media, I feel like once he opens up his horizons he seems like a punk music scene kinda guy.

4. TAKE AWAY HIS T COGS AND DRUGS. I'm serious, put this man in critical condition and going through extreme withdrawals and see what happens when he is no longer capable of having his vices. Does he experience an epiphany? Does he realize how pathetic he is and do something about it? What's the DJD think about it? How does his personality change?

5. I just wanna watch him and starscream stab Megatron to death while holding hands. They've been through 4 million years of absolute shit while both thinking the other one is the "other woman". I just think they should be allowed to make each other worse and also hold hands about it. What better partner for a man seeking global domination than the most loyal bodyguard ever built?

That's the main gist of it for now. I have a master list of things that fascinate me about gods stupidest war criminal, but I don't feel like typing them all up right now. Perhaps I'll make a second post idk. Feel free to use these as you will, just let me read the damn thing.

[camp-mithril-lake]

KUP: I told him. I told him years ago. And watched the slow downward spiral into the homosexual he is today.

A RANDOM MECH: That's the Prime you're talking about!

KUP: [Speaking up louder] And the Prime is a bottom!

KUP: ...so is Megatron.

[camp-mithril-lake]

The struggle is real you guys😭