cameled

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microsoft outlook is taking the bioware approach and giving me the option to romance my coworker now 

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I love saying “of course” instead of “you’re welcome,” like of course I’m helping you that’s what I do, you were foolish to even consider an alternate dimension in which I’m not helping you. you idiot. you absolute buffoon.

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pls rb for a larger sample size c:

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they just don't put gargoyles on roofs like they used to. buildings are so swagless these days

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going to get your tubes tied and when ur done ur doctor shows you an ultrasouns and he’s tied them into a perfect baloon dog :)

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Compilation

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a woman will be 28 or whatever and all the 24 year olds are in shock like “no fucking way I seriously couldn’t tell. you don’t look near death at all”

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There's something quite charming about relatively small objects that are way heavier than they look. ooohh you're one dense little freak aren't you

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milf (myself i’d like to forgive) and dilf (despair i’d like to forget)

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Your double-patty dirt burger is served!

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[cameled]