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calpico-ocean · 8 days
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if i have to make a pros and cons list is the relationship over
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calpico-ocean · 14 days
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my poop is so buig rn
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calpico-ocean · 15 days
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my boyfriends psycho mom who is convinced that i tried to kill her and am stalking her is watching my stories through her alt. interesting. how the turn tables katherine.
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calpico-ocean · 15 days
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both
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calpico-ocean · 21 days
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i am gods storngers warrior (im pooping at work and it hurts)
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calpico-ocean · 25 days
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modern art exhibit titled "I bet you won't kill yourself" that is just a loaded gun on a podium in a museum
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calpico-ocean · 26 days
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most competent boss
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calpico-ocean · 28 days
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its okay i used my sock
im taking a huge shit in my campus bathroom rn and its out of toilet paper and it closes in 10 minutss please help me
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calpico-ocean · 1 month
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as much as i hate t****r, billboard announced that even if she hadn't released the newest variant of the toilet paper department, chappell would still have #2. but all the other variants are still the reason and its extremely funny that billboard had to announce that. anyway, stream the rise and fall of a midwest princess
Taylor Swift shut up* challenge
*stop releasing variants of that mediocre album to steal the top spot on the charts week after week and give other artists (who release actual full albums instead of an unending stream of dumb variants) a chance at the top.
like she's a nepo baby whose also pretty and that's the sole reason for her stardom. she wouldn't be where she is if her parents weren't disgustingly loaded.
anyways I'm mad that her 64th variant bumped Chappel Roan out of the top two. stolen valor.
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calpico-ocean · 1 month
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also be a pedo nazi
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calpico-ocean · 1 month
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my beother who works at amc said no
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calpico-ocean · 1 month
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I see posts going "Okay, I'll vote for Kamala, I GUESS IF I HAVE TO" and "omg if that's the best we can do I suppose I'll support it" and I'm like...
What do you people fucking WANT?
Let's run down how she's rated politically by some organizations that we vibe with, kay?
ACLU = 93% on civil liberties
AFL-CIO = 100% on trade unions
Human Rights Campaign = 100% on queer rights
League of Conservation Voters = 91% on environmentalism
NARAL = 100% on reproductive rights
NRA Fund = 7% on gun rights (we LIKE a low score on this one)
NEA = 100% on education
Planned Parenthoos = 100% on reproductive rights
In addition, GovTrack (which is a nonpartisan tracker) places her in the MOST politically left-leaning categories of Senators. So we've got a very liberal, woman of color who's spent her career trying to mitigate draconian tough-on-crime laws to benefit the accused and keep black people out of prison and decrease recidivism and that's somehow...just barely tolerable.
So I ask again...what is that you're dissatisfied with? Is it Palestine? as recently as March she was calling for a ceasefire and demanding aid to Gaza. Keep in mind she's pretty constrained as to what's possible to do in this situation.
Is it just that she was a prosecutor? That is an important job that needs to be done and we WANT people doing it who aren't rah-rah tough-on-crime Gestapo types, which she is not. We need prosecutors who are addressing the root causes of crime and looking for ways to help people escape the cycle, which she has done to the point that she was often called SOFT on crime.
So what is your objection here? Is it that her politics aren't 100% aligned with a bunch of Tumblr socialists? I got news for you...we Tumblr socialists DO NOT REPRESENT THE ELECTORATE. If such a candidate existed, they would not win.
Democrats struggle sometimes because our tent is large. Republicans just want you if you're a straight white man and preferably rich. There's room for a lot more types in the lefty side, but sadly that means a lot of room also for dissention among the ranks. This is how they get us. Let's not let them, huh? Just a suggestion.
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calpico-ocean · 1 month
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update my friends! im taking a massive shit in a dunkin<3
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calpico-ocean · 1 month
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6 days ago i got a car. 4 days ago i hit another with it. today i hit a second one with it.
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calpico-ocean · 1 month
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nothing is worse and better than work shit. angry birds, clenching the toes, miley cyrus poundjng in the background, you need to hurry up and get back to your station, kids yelling in the stall next to you, stomach is gurgling, youre gassing yourself and it smells so bad but youre not done, you cant leave yet, theres more left. someones rattles your stall and you tell them its occupied but your voice is shaking as it covers up the sound of the wretched ass you are ripping. you might not make it out. you think youre okay with that.
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calpico-ocean · 2 months
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fuck me, i drive with my windows down now my left forearm is tan
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calpico-ocean · 2 months
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