callieforniaeastcoast

[callieforniaeastcoast]

[callieforniaeastcoast]

people who don’t wear glasses will never understand the absolute humiliation of dropping your glasses under your bed or in a dark area and feeling around on all fours muttering “my glasses…. where are my glasses” like fucking Velma Dinkley and thinking to yourself BOY WOULD THIS BE A LOT EASIER IF I COUKD FUCKING SEE

[callieforniaeastcoast]

[callieforniaeastcoast]

Rest in Peace, Mr. Turner

[callieforniaeastcoast]

ppl are being extremely nasty and insensitive about these fires like u know la is not just filled with celebrity influencer millionaires right like yay eat the rich but the people who r gonna suffer the most are poor people u understand that right….its like how ppl talk about anything bad happening to the south being a “good thing” bc its a red state as if a bunch poor ppl and minorities dont live there like the people who can bounce back from these natural disasters bc of being rich r not gonna rlly care about ur jokes or experience long time ruin bc they have money……u know that right

[callieforniaeastcoast]

[callieforniaeastcoast]

How i look when I see a loud noise

[callieforniaeastcoast]

Some people say that there are no stupid questions, which is blatantly false. Of course there are stupid questions, and if you have one, you had better ask it, before you go and do make a stupider mistake. Stupid questions are more important than intelligent ones. I’m willing to bet more people die because of stupid mistakes than because of intelligent ones.

[callieforniaeastcoast]

remember ladies, if you laugh underneath blankets you are at IMMEDIATE risk of dead wife syndrome. experts also advise to avoid smiling over your shoulder at your spouse while standing in bright sunlight.

[callieforniaeastcoast]

Sometimes people will email me begging me to approve a purchase order and launching into an explanation of how badly they need it and I want to take their hands and softly tell them that this company and this job means nothing to me and they can go expense a llama for all I give a shit

[callieforniaeastcoast]

[callieforniaeastcoast]

[callieforniaeastcoast]

[callieforniaeastcoast]

[callieforniaeastcoast]

Heartwarming story: Little girl doesn’t have to do anything to fund her dad’s surgery because his expenses are covered by his country’s universal healthcare.

[callieforniaeastcoast]