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call-me-doctor-benzedrine · 2 months ago

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i haven’t posted on here in years mostly cuz i deleted this app but i want to vent. i feel like trash. i am constantly having mood swings and about a month ago i had a really bad night felt paranoid and scared and i couldn’t stop crying i felt like i was out of my body and had no control.

i have daily migraines which i’ve been dealing with for two years now. everyday a migraine and it’s just bad everyday. some days are worse it feels like im getting stabbed through my eye and into my head. i’m getting botox for the migraines which aren’t helping.

i’m also seeing and endocrinologist because my thyroid levels keep fluctuating. my testosterone levels are high as well. both of which just fucks up everything in my body and i feel like there’s no real reason to why it’s happening.

i just want my body to function normally. i want to feel ok. but i don’t i feel like a mess and it’s so hard to live in my head sometimes. i just wish i lived with my boyfriend. he doesn’t text me a lot during the week and he doesn’t call that much. he makes me feel better. i feel heard and seen with him. i feel cared about. and i just struggle during the week because he doesn’t talk to me as much as i want him to. i’ve told him this and he says he gets busy with work and school and he gets tired after both. i get it but i just want five minutes at the end the day to just call.

i feel like i’m too much. i hate myself. i hate how i am and who i am.

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call-me-doctor-benzedrine · 4 years ago

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should i add this guy i haven’t talked to in two years

i’ve been having dreams with him in them

or would that be weird

#please help #ineedhelp #advice

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call-me-doctor-benzedrine · 6 years ago

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