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“Get his ass” Is so unreasonably funny to me. A huge win for the English language. Today’s version of “seize him” imo

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dumb that I have to take my meds like every single day. Why can’t I just eat a giant fistful of lithium every month or so and let my body ration it out as it pleases.

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Man, when I was like 16 I got so sick of being made fun of for being the fat kid that I took an axe down inna woods, chopped down a tree, and started doing log-lifts all the time. I got strong as fuck, but I didn’t lose no weight. I actually got bigger.

Same thing happened when I got into fighting. I got even stronger, and I got *fast*, man, and nimble, like a cat. Still chubby.

Body-building culture is a bunch of crap, my dude. Functional muscle is not necessarily toned or lean. You can be swole as hell and still be heavy. And that’s cool.

Embrace your inner barbarian. And when fatphobic little gym twinks try to body shame you, you should DESTROY THEM with your MIGHTY AXE

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do people who live in countries that don't have snow know about the snow silence? When you get a nice big dumping of fresh snow and you step outside into an infinitely harshly contrasted world and there's no sound because the snow absorbs it all? I believe it fits the traditional use of terrific both wonderful and incredible but also causing a great terror.

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hey girl are you gold and mercury. because. AuHg

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New Years resolutions: do whatever i want forever

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“Fatherless behavior” stop giving my DAD credit for all the work my MOM put into making me a terrible person!! Stop erasing women in history!!

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July 25 2020 - A tear gas grenade tossed by a federal agent is caught in mid-air by a protester using a lacrosse stick and returned back over the fence, after which other protesters treat the feds to some fireworks. [video]

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Finally.

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They killed jimmy carter to hide the secret of the elves

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The older generation's fixation on forcing you to have kids is something they absolutely refuse to unlearn. You can give the calmest and most reasonable explanation for not having kids and the only thing they can think to say is, "But what of the heir to the lands?" "Who will inherit the throne?" "Please sire upon your barren death there will be a parochial schism that will soak our soils with brother-blood." They literally hate to see you happy with just a cat.