calistadracula

[calistadracula]

ok while I was searching for that bust of hercules I found THIS statue... jesus christ. the sculptor had to have been hard the whole time he was working

[calistadracula]

Robert Pattinson | GQ Magazine (2022) photographed by Jack Bridgland

[calistadracula]

A little winter horror comic I was working on before Christmas!

[calistadracula]

Just remembering the time @confusinglyamusingly took me to a disused former nuclear bunker in Essex for my birthday and we saw the most ominous fucking sign I’ve ever seen in my life

[calistadracula]

Why are you promoting drug use on your blog

[calistadracula]

straight couples cant stop rubbing up on each other for even a second. this ikea checkout line feels like the streets of gomorrah

[calistadracula]

Me in 2022 when the pandemic hasn’t ended yet because people don’t know how to act right and I’ve been holed up in my house for three years acquiring a new flavor of crazy, going to open the door for the guy in the hazmat suit that’s come to deliver my groceries

[calistadracula]

[calistadracula]

[calistadracula]

i like to go in the bathroom and splash water on my face and pretend im a male protagonist under a lot of stress

[calistadracula]

Choices were made in this bathroom. Lots of choices.

[calistadracula]

made too many jokes abt being sexy and cool and accidentally developed an ego

[calistadracula]

fantasy characters: “Geez”

me: who the fuck spread Christianity there

[calistadracula]

I’ve seen people pass around the “hold up, I’m googlin’ something” image but it cropped out the part where he was googling “how many guys can one guy take”

[calistadracula]

Piracy is a “victimless crime”? Idk i was kinda hoping there would be a victim. I want the mouse dead

[calistadracula]

wine drunk is the best drunk. makes u horny & intellectual. a lust-filled academic