cakeblindness

[cakeblindness]

Thinking about the time I finally convinced my husband to sit down and watch Pan’s Labyrinth with me. He’d been weirdly hesitant about it, a lot of reluctant agreement. Just kept telling him it was beautiful and he’d love it. When it was over I asked if he liked it, and he said “Yeah, it was really good! A lot better than I was expecting!” Thoughtful pause. “…..but who did David Bowie play?”

so anyway

[cakeblindness]

Human: Deal.

Fey: Very well. When you return home tonight, your mother will be in pristine health again. It will be like she never fell ill at all. Even the memory of her suffering will fade…

Human: Thank you so much. She means everything to me.

Fey: I know, I know. Let’s hope the price wasn’t too much for you after all… Only time will tell.

Human: So, when do we start?

Fey: …If I may ask you to elaborate?

Human: You said you wanted my firstborn.

Fey: Yes? And you agreed?

Human: Yeah, so, when do we start?

Fey:

Fey, blushing: Ah.

[cakeblindness]

cant believe im a real person what the hell. the good lord will just make anybbody

[cakeblindness]

thats pretty reasonable i guess

[cakeblindness]

i always forget how much of a hell getting up in the morning during the cold months is until im trying to get dressed taking frost damage like ough augh ugha oagh uagh

[cakeblindness]

my observation from 2 months of kittens

[cakeblindness]

Guy whose wife comes out to him as a lesbian and he just sighs and starts googling ‘estrogen near me’

[cakeblindness]

i forgot a crucial part of pet ownership: bothering that animal a little

[cakeblindness]

effervescent

[cakeblindness]

i love when large dogs are picked up and they’re so absolutely confused as to how this could happen that they just sorta

[cakeblindness]

was setting up my pills for the week so had just shook out 8 pill bottles in a row. thought “hey I have a little heartburn, let’s take some pepto before bed.” shook a little pepto out into my hand :(

[cakeblindness]

[cakeblindness]

So fucked that little animals can have bad dreams what do you mean they have to deal with nightmares too

[cakeblindness]

*does a gay little dance that makes the superspy im holding hostage fall in love with me*

[cakeblindness]

i dont know why cream cheese makes such faces

[cakeblindness]

white dads after they finish changing their oil

[cakeblindness]

12:01 a.m. on november 1st