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We looked inside some of the posts by c0nfessi9nal and here's what we found interesting.
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17
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we're gonna be like this forever aren't we. if it isn't real why can't i make it go away.
i know how to help myself through this but i've almost died so many times i'm afraid all my friends will die.
i don't know what to do.
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HI HOW ARE YOU.
i feel so fucking awful!! I feel so fucking awful!!!
FIND EVERYTHING OK?
no one wants to look. so.
WOW FUNNY STORY
if you knew me personally you'd hate my guts
WOULD YOU LIKE A BAG?
why do you want me crucified
HAVE A GREAT DAY!!
and yet. this job is a privilege.
HI HOW ARE YOU
#this is my equivalent of little haiku poems ok#it will all be just fine. amazing even.#lots to look forward to!#im scared but not as much as i would be without my silly little interests#and my coworkers like me and we're friends so#is Trauma and the associated memories biting at our ankles? yea!#will it stop our dreams and goals??#NO. BECAUSE THE ASSHOLES WHO DID THIS TO ME CAN BITE ME#but for now... hi how are you#it's rotten work especially to me especially if it's me but i'll do it
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Seriously if I die I get reduced to “lol mentally ill tranny drop in the bucket poser” but if I live with honesty I get outcasted and I only only only want to be accepted not seen a certain way have all the opinions you want but I’m a person.
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Why am I seething w jealousy over someone in just as bad a spot as me if not a worse spot (idk bc no one ever gets to know me I try way too hard and end up alone I don’t want to perpetuate suffering I want friendship I want connection I want love but noooooo I’m overly sincere and too familiar w people so obviously I have some hidden agenda and also just suck)
#all these irritating things#literally I need to stop it’s so unhealthy but#no one in this town knows me no one in my last hometown knew me no one online knows me#my best best friend of over 10 years doesn’t talk to me like she used to#my siblings and parents only gossip abt me#god help me I’m drowning in this fascist country and all my supposed allies think I’m too hung ho or all talk#WELLL GUESS WHAT ASSHOLES ITS FUCKING STUPID TO ASSUME SHIT#YOU DONT KNOW WHERE IVE BEEN.#literally fighting ghosts like none of this shit matters but I feel completely alone but for everyone who would care after I leave I need#to stay and just pray that I feel wholly accepted someday.
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sorry for mansplaining human dynamics it's not my fault that regardless of culture religion etc. etc. etc. humans are disgustingly predictable.
i wish it was boring but more often it's cruel. the "society" game is really fucking boring tho.
living with love isn't boring but it's ironically dangerous and lonely. so it goes, so it went.
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i like posting things that would get us ripped to shreds by both the "mainstream" did ppl and the deniers, and having the satisfaction of not having the displeasure of encountering either group bc those circles are rlly easy to avoid actually
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Syscourse is genuinely peak "first world problems" tbh....... everyone who has ever gotten angry abt it needs to go outside (like we did and it cured our addiction lol) i promise that no one irl cares xoxoxoxo
#someone plz talk to us abt how irritating this shit is its all so irritating#i am a normal person#responding normally to things that happened.#and i treat others w dignity and respect.#thats alllll u neeeeeed#syscourse is the result of a bunch of traumatized ppl having no safe space#so justifying themselves makes them feel safe and accepted#i understand “why” but i dont like it at all#imperialism and its consequences#“whats this got to do with-” LONNNNNG STORY
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Two for two on our "too many people have lied on the internet abt this aspect of our identity so no matter how much confirmation we have we MUST keep it to ourselves" but it could be worse.
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The past has never mattered less but UNDERSTANDING the past has never mattered more. What a disgusting paradox im so tired of explaining my "self."
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"Stop looking at me like that" and it's just my normal face. Sigh.
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Sorry to crash out my brain made up a guy to be mean to me for the express purpose of staying isolated. It's working.
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There are small ones here that like fighting. A concerning amount. It's.... i hate to say it since i care for them but. It's irritating. And scary. Especially when they think it's just play. When theyre around i feel no older than they do but i just want to hide.
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"Give up anger" mfs when assholes don't use their signal and bully them into going faster on the highway:
Uh um uh uh uh deep breaths and rest stops save me deep breaths and rest stops.
#we're just tryin. you gotta give us that.#urghhhhhh we're stopping for the night soon i cannotttttttt
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"Nobody likes how we think. It's messy and childish and stupid and comes across as fake and weird." Well. If they really knew you they wouldn't think that, I don't think. Besides. Input equals output.
I will try to be kinder to me.
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