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I've spent hours obsessing over why I'm not good enough. Hours lost, standing in front of the mirror, studying my face and wondering if it's because I'm not pretty enough. Reading back old conversations and wondering if I'm annoying, too needy, too much. Will anyone ever stick around? I try so hard, but I'm just never worth it in the end.

broken thoughts | 2am

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I’m not tired, I’m depressed

I’m not tired, I’m anxious

I’m not tired, I want to die

I’m not tired, I’m suicidal

I’m not tired, I hate myself

I’m not tired, I’m disgusted with myself

I’m not tired, I’m numb, empty and apathetic

I’m not tired, I’m hurting and in pain

I’m not tired, I’m exhausted

11.02.19

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instagram

(C.B)(8.15.19)

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i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that.i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that. i wish i didn't just eat that.

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“No one’s gonna like you better just because you’re skinny.”

Wrong, bitch.

I am.

I’m gonna like me better when I’m skinny.

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5′7″ & 107 Pounds

I can’t do anything about my height and I’m really only two pounds away from reaching my GW.

I’m adamant on losing my stomach though and to do that I’ll have to work on building muscle. 

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why i wanna get skinny

so i’m finally the youngest AND lightest

so my mom doesn’t make comments when i eat food

so boys don’t look at me in disgust

so my ex regrets not showing me off

so my friends post snaps and photos of us when we hang out and not think i’m disgusting

so people regret the way they talked and treated me

so i’m proud of myself and how i look in the mirror

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I’m not thin enough to say I have a eating disorder

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Things I Think About 3/??

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Since I look nothing like my friend, who has an ED, I often feel like I’m just a fraud. Perhaps there’s really nothing wrong with me.