bvcnzant-blog

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emxrypltr

“Whatever you say, baby,” Emery said, not bothering to hide the amusement in his voice or the knowing look in his eyes. Sometimes he wasn’t entirely sure what made him bait the two of them so shamelessly–other times a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like his dad reminded him that it was his own fatal attraction to and borderline obsession with anything that even faintly resembled passion between two people. “Well that’s good to hear,” he tossed his cigarette as they came to the little waterfront restaurant near campus he loved so much, breaking away from the conversation only long enough to inform the hostess they wanted a table outside, before turning back to her. “If you switched to men I’d have to start fighting you for scraps, and god knows I’d tear even your eyes out over a nice cock.” He flashed her a teasing grin as they were led back outside and to a table situated neatly under an umbrella. “Don’t,” he said flatly as he picked up a menu, “even get me started. I had a really healthy little run-in with Austin earlier–he went all Norman Bates on me because I made a joke about steroids. Like, I know you’re not taking steroids, psycho. Nobody can handle a joke anymore.”

“jesus, considering i don’t even find men or the idea of a cock at all appealing, i think we’re good. i can keep my eyes and you can keep your men.” bianca laughed as they slipped into the seats at their table. she rose her eyebrows slightly as he detailed his exchange with austin, “yes, sounds completely healthy. great way to describe that interaction.” she glanced at him, giving him a knowing look, as she flipped through the menu, she had heard emery talk and rant bout austin enough to know that what was going on between them was probably not healthy. but who was bianca to judge the healthiness of a relationship? the majority of her relationships- romantic or otherwise- could probably be classified as unhealthy, “no one knows how to take a joke anymore, you are right about that. though i think you should stay the fuck away from austin... like i try to do with iris. he’ll just give you an ulcer or something.” 

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@ainslev

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giannaok

“when have i ever turned away a drink?” she asked rhetorically as she grinned at her friend. “you’re so lucky that your sister is having a baby. give it a couple more years and you can use it to help you pick up girls.”

“never to my knowledge, and i would be appalled if you did.” bianca replied in a dramatic voice, chuckling, “ooooh shit, you’re right- the perfect pick-up tactic. you better watch out though, that baby might just steal your spot as my number one wingwoman.” 

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h-cnnah

“that kid will be so lucky if they have you as the cool aunt, everyone needs that in their life. we’re celebrating, shots?”

“i’m going to make sure that kid grows up to be exactly like me.” bianca joked, knowing that would be a recipe for disaster, “um, yes, have you ever known me to turn down shots, han?” 

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cvstbellvs

“well let me see my options, i can have drink with you and celebrate something that i don’t give a shit about, which would make unhappy or i could politely refuse your offer, which, i’m sure, would make me lot more satisfied…“ she paused, pretending to think about it when isabella obviously already knew how this would end. “i’m gonna have to say no, but thanks for paying me a drink, you’re a very nice person, bianca.” isabella finished her sentence taking one of the glasses to herself, before winking at the blonde girl.

“wow, isabella, seems like you have a lot to consider. must be very hard for you. choosing free alcohol or to be petty.” bianca replied, her voice flat, an eyebrow quirked just slightly. she brought her own glass up to her lips for a drink, she would need to be drunk if he was having a conversation with isabella, “i am a very nice person, aren’t i? damn shame you rarely get to reap the benefits of that kindness. enjoy that drink. you deserve it.” two could play this game 

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bxnas

“i mean how as in, i don’t have anything to play it on. i can’t remember the last time i even saw a dvd player.” nor did he know anyone either. “the law has a tendency not to make any sense, especially as of recent. and that’s true and i even know that from experience. but apart from all this drama, how have you been bianca?”

“you could find one in an antique shop, probably.” she quipped with a laugh, “i’m pretty sure stanford just pulled this plan out of their ass and pretended like it was some well-thought out genius idea instead of a punishment for years of elitism within the greek system.” bianca shrugged, “apart from it all? i’m doing about as well as a second semester senior can be doing- surviving not thriving, ya know? how are you?” 

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kamcnape

“I’m sure you’ll be right in the hospital when they’re born and you’re going to love the soul sucking demon.” Grinning, Camden waved over the bartender to order them shots to celebrate. “You just have to be careful. You don’t want them to be insane when it comes to alcohol and start driving and drinking.”

“soul sucking demon? yeah, sounds about right, that baby will be half vanzant after all.” she laughed, smiling as cam waved the bartender over, “oh shit- straight to drinking and driving, huh? i’ll make sure to instill safe drinking practices into them. try and shape them in my image.” she teased 

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brcckes

“shit, being a vodka aunt is my dream. i need my siblings to start having kids so i have a better label than just drunk sorority bitch. but until then, i’ll have to live vicariously through you,” she told the other blonde and took the glass, “i’ll take however many celebration drinks you need tonight, no worries.”

“it really is my dream role. but drunk sorority bitch isn’t too bad.” bianca laughed, “it’s a great title. as a fellow drunk sorority bitch i support you in all your drunkenness and bitchiness.” she picked up the glass as it was set in front of her, “bless you, i just knew i could count on you. there are many more where this came from.” 

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@emxrypltr

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emxrypltr

“Duping straight guys into giving you free things is genuinely the best use you could possibly get out of them. God, I never thought I’d be benefiting from tits, yet here I am. A symbiotic relationship indeed.” He had known when he’d said it what sort of reaction Ainsley’s name was going to inspire in Bianca, and truth be told, Emery had made a game of dropping it on her when she least expected it just to try and startle the honesty out of her. He did the same with Ainsley, but less so–she was more likely to tear him a new one for it. “Infuriating,” he said, voice saturated with amusement, and took the cigarette back from her between thumb and forefinger. “Right. Hate sex is infuriating.” He grinned around the cigarette as he hit it. “So is there anyone else, then? Or are you swearing off women for good?”

“uh, but she is.” bianca scowled, knowing emery had brought ainsely up just to fuck with her. she shouldn’t have let it have as much of an effect as it had, “she’s hot, yes, but she also makes me want to fucking scream almost all the time.” she was playing it up a little- bianca enjoyed whatever it was between her and ainsley- though she’d never admit it out loud. she let out a laugh then, off-balance moment passed, “swearing off women for good? god no, i’d rather die. there’s a few girls here and there.” she shrugged, “the usual... but i’d rather talk about you? who have you been fucking lately?” 

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archiebonas

“jesus.  poor kid, hasn’t even been born yet and this big ass mess awaits for them,” archie joked, index finger waving to decorate his point.  “feeling generous today, huh?”  he bent his head at an angle to look at her.  “when have i ever declined free alcohol?”

“you talking about me or the world in general? because, yes, accurate- both those things are largely a mess.” bianca laughed. then she nodded, “mhmm, it’s a rare occasion. and if you did decline free alcohol i would be deeply worried. it’s insane to deny such a beautiful gift.” 

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reaganstfu

reagan let out a snort, matching the expression on the girl’s face. “this is just a secret between us, but you’re still my favorite pi phi psi.” she winked at her. “maybe alcohol will be our always!” the girl tipped back her drink, feeling the vodka warm up her body. “listen, not to be that person but i used to be your sister, remember?”

bianca brought a hand to her heart, “wow, i feel so blessed. my ego just grew. this is dangerous.” she chuckled, “alcohol is definitely our always- and it’s not a metaphor.” she quipped, “once a sister, always a sister. i know i’m supposed to buy into all the elitist bullshit... but i’m not going to stop hanging out with someone just because my srat says i should.” 

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h-cnnah

“okay, first of all you’d make a wonderful mother and i’m not just saying that. don’t make get all sappy on your ass because you know i will and will embarrass you. sure, i don’t know if you can keep an actual human being alive, but all the other shit you got down. on the opposite side, you’ll be the coolest aunt i’ll ever know, like, the best.” with the drink placed of her, the blonde began to suck down the drink, welcoming the taste of vodka. “you’ll seriously be the best.”

“no sappiness or embarrassment tonight! i can’t take it, just celebration! and i am still not convinced i’d be a good mom, but i appreciate the sentiment.” bianca chuckled, taking a sip of her vodka soda, “i hope i’m, like, the cool aunt, ya know? i want the kid to be able to come to me about stupid, wild shit.” 

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tfemxlia

“good thing you know that.” emilia said as she ordered herself another drink. “oh please, you put effort into talking to me, spiking my drink wouldn’t take too much effort.” she said, rolling her eyes. “nice doesn’t really suit you, by the way.

“listen, i was just being courteous, trying to offer a drink to an old friend- i’ll drink the second one too.” bianca shrugged, pulling the other vodka soda toward herself, “it doesn’t? but i am just so nice! like, all the time.” 

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vdrcxnv

“ugh babies,” she scoffed slightly rolling her eyes. “like, no offence but why would someone want a baby? they do nothing but cry, eat and poop. sure, they’re cute and everything but that changes over the years,” they shrugged placing the glass between their lips and taking a sip of their drink. “i’d be the worst parent ever. i made my cactus and all of my five goldfishes die, plus that’s way too much responsibility. i’d be so up to be the vodka aunt tho, so, congratulations i guess?”

“i mean, i don’t totally disagree. kids can be a fucking nightmare.” bianca looked at them, “not even all babies are cute so... my niece or nephew will because my sister’s cute or whatever- but some babies? ugly.” she took a drink, “i’d also be a terrible mother, so thank you, vodka aunt is the role i was meant to fulfill. as if it’s my destiny.” 

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