butweareafamily

[butweareafamily]

okaaay so, I wanted to say hi to everyone, though I’m not even sure many of you will remember me/still follow me, but like… everything I can say is bad news and I don’t want to be depressing, yet at the same time I want to update people in case I may actually make a comeback some day? If somebody wants to try to keep track of me anyway, I’m a lot more on instagram ( kalipinna_ele ) because I’m trying to make my print on demand shops be noticed to avoid complete annhilation, and kalipinna.tumblr.com is where I post stuff I make, take commissions. Also fandomele.tumblr.com which is my fandom blog but I have very… strong opinions about fandoms and ships so it’s not recommended if we don’t share them lol

So here’s some small potentially triggering if you don’t want to hear abou emotionally abuse/stressful events bits of it, or you can skip to the very last paragraph:

Keep reading

[butweareafamily]

**

I apologize to anyone waiting for replies but for now this muse is on semi-hiatus (which doesn't mean I can't pop up when inspired and try to get her going again or if a thread awakens some inspiration by itself I may reply) it's probably obvious but I wanted to warn people so no one will worry about me if they don't follow my still active main!

[butweareafamily]

😍😍😍😍😍😍 ( killian misses his girl ) @valucble​

ANSWERING HERE BECAUSE I’M PRETTY SURE YOU WANTED TO SEND IT TO THIS EMMA AND SHE MISSES YOUR KILLIAN TOO

[butweareafamily]

My mother, being an all-knowing person, has fixed my charger, so I’m back on my laptop! I’m also partially back online right now but “selective” which really means that I’m waiting to be able to cook dinner and eat it before I can really sit down and try to reply to all the threads I want to reply to, but I’ll probably write a few in the next hour! Hopefully I won’t lose energies and do more than that later!

problem solved! 

[butweareafamily]

IMPORTANT

my computer charger just broke, which means I can only write for mobile for who knows how long, I don’t exactly live in a place where you get universal-chargers easily.

which also means inability to cut posts (so I won’t write with people who can’t cut them or I’ll have to cut everything off from before me, if that’s even possible on mobile??) and to use icons for some time

[butweareafamily]

In the Captain Swan kiss in Neverland the camera focused Killian’s face almost all the time because this kiss was the moment in which Killian believed that he could leave go his first love. He realized that was falling in love with Emma.

In the Storybrooke kiss, the camera focuses Emma’s face because is the moment in which she realizes that Killian can be her home. Her opportunity to let it go the past and find love.

[butweareafamily]

about - please read the rules first

this is not mandatory to read, these are just details about the canon divergences I already talked about in my rules. Explanations/getting deeper into her backstory. 

Please read the rules, those are what you need. 

Now, details about canon divergences, first about Emma in general, then about her big issues with some characters. This is long, but, again, really not mandatory to read:

-After the curse broke she had, surprisingly, more friction with her mother due to their personalities despite having been closer to Mary Margaret, while David was able to understand her need for space better. Still, she loves them both dearly and even when not ready to admit just how much she needs them she’ll defend them ferociously. She may bring up more issues with her parents as a way to solve them in this blog (in universe, because she’s not as delicate and may accidentally hurt their feelings at times. Example: ‘if I don’t want to go to a date, maybe try to find out why and not assume it’s something to help me get over’ can be a theme of discussion). She’s aware of how much they have lost and how much they want to have her around, which initially is even more reason to want to run away while at the same time means she’d die for them.

The idea of her “regretting” giving Henry up beyond a ‘I wish I had the means to raise him’ is laughable since she was a teen in prison with no home, family, money, and Henry, who would not have been left in her care anyway, would have died soon after an attempt to raise him in a car. She doesn’t regret giving him a chance one bit, she just wishes she had been older and with a support-net that could allow her to keep him. 

-Emma is not pushed to “change, grow to be a ‘better’, more open person and heal from her traumas and open up to the world more” as fast as she is in the tvshow, I’m not limited by their schedule and cast, so Emma will show more consequences of her past life (alone, unwanted, losing in violent ways everyone she comes close to, being betrayed and believing she had been just used by the one person she loved, having been in jail, homeless, hungry, and so on, and constantly being punished for trying to trust and hope until she found her family) and have more dysfunctional behaviors that eventually she’ll leave behind, and some that she’ll stay/regress back to every now and then for the rest of her life. 

She didn’t even exactly had a good idea of what ‘healthy’ looks like for 99% of her life, so she can’t pretend for her family’s sake that she’s well-adjusted in every sense of the word. She can close off and run even in later seasons while still having the natural strong instinct to hope and the even stronger need to keep this family and believe that things will work. That also means bringing up past abuse without always realizing how bad it was or how shocking it might be.

-Seeing Neal again and what happened with Walsh was extremely re-traumatizing, as well as remembering Ingrid right in time for her to die. Also all the deaths and near deaths she witnessed didn’t help.

-Her memories of raising Henry did bring her to a ‘healthier’ lifestyle but the result of those memories and real ones existing in her head together left a bit of a mess of ‘responsibility’ + 'impulsiveness’ + 'stubbornness’ + 'walls’ + 'feeling in charge/feeling lost’. She may take a memory potion to erase her memories of being raised by her parents as a cowardly princess, which was a wish twisted by the evil queen anyway, because that together with fake memories of keeping Henry and fake memories of years in a hospital and real memories of her real life is just too much. 

-That doesn’t mean she’s not going to start taking the roles of mother and Savior, and keep following her instinct, always present, to help people, but she also won’t always be sweet or pick the most socially acceptable responses. She also won’t let people treat her badly without fighting, and in times when she doesn’t fight it (for example Gold telling Milah that Emma had a torrid affair with their son and was now dating her ex) it will be because it hurts too much and she’s used to having to 'take’ pain and shut up about it, it’s not positive and will not written as such. 

-Emma never became “friends” with Regina. She tries to be civilized/diplomatic with her for Henry’s sake and to keep her from turning into the Evil Queen again and lose more lives over it (and Emma knows that Regina was up until now a tyrant who killed entire villages, sent children to a cannibalistic witch, and kept a sex slave, among other things, so a jump into the old evil ways means she’d have to kill her, which Emma wants to avoid), but still, she never forgave Regina over Graham, she never moved past all the pain Regina caused her parents and the things she did up until Henry was kidnapped by Tamara and Greg, or the fact that she grew up alone because of her, and in this blog Emma doesn’t lose the ability to snap at her as time passes by, she just chooses her battles better to keep the peace. In this blog she also lets some canon comments pass when they are about her, still to avoid useless fights and of course because used to so much worse, but likely puts a stop to the ones directed to her parents and Killian because no matter how used she is to toxic relationships she also always felt the need to defend others. Regina’s reaction to Marian’s return cements these emotions and the fact that Emma doesn’t trust her change of heart to be that deep.  The idea of finding the author is not something Emma can support: either it would change their entire lives and they’d stop existing as who they are, or Regina would simply be writing a line about finding a happy ending that would force her and another person to fall in love, and then what could the consequences of a happy ending by force be? Especially since nobody in the show can actually say they have a happy ending, they can just say that they went through incredible pain and now life got a bit better, but there are still constant problems and they are just working on being happy and together. Considering the Evil Queen a separate identity is also a no. Considering Regina queen of everything? No.   So like I said there will be no threads with Regina rpers, and when I rp with others if they are close to Emma they will know her real opinion of her. She also doesn’t trust Henry alone with Regina, she may not know about his memory being wiped in season 2 but she knows Regina was willing to kill them all and kidnap Henry very recently (and even while Regina tries to be a hero instead, she shuts him out in every way when upset over Robin, which hurts Henry). OUAT happens in the span of a few years, depending on the thread it could be still a very recent, very fresh wound even just the fact that Regina helped her mother in her quest to become Dark One and was there when Johanna was killed.  

-She was neutral about Gold in season 2 and season 3, but in season 4 he eventually takes Killian’s heart, and once again a man she’s romantically involved with is almost ripped from her, and uses him as a slave for weeks which alone would be traumatic enough to never trust Gold again, but adding up to that Gold did try to kill her too, as she finds out after these events from Killian, who had come to save her when he got his heart taken. Gold is temporarily sent away so Emma didn’t exactly get to express her feelings, but once he’s back? He’ll never be part of the family for her, and his alliance with the queens of darkness was just one more proof of it, as well as him taking back the dark curse once human and free and erasing Killian’s sacrifice which was for Emma a reason to want him to suffer, even if she didn’t go that far with her actions.

So there is no big birthday parties where she and Killian are comfortable and have fun while sitting at the table with Gold or Regina.  

-After Neverland and experiencing a (fake) life in which she got to raise Henry and to tell Henry what Neal had really done to her (which we see in the show, in New York Henry only knows his father is a conman who let her take the fall for his crime and they are both cool with it, Emma had more time to process and got to keep the baby) she’s very aware that she did in fact stop loving Neal and just loved the idealized version of him and what he had promised her, she doesn’t know who he is now after an entire decade and he doesn’t know who she is. She will not get in the way of him spending time with Henry and she’ll be relatively nice especially knowing he wasn’t just using her but did mean to share a future with her, but she shuts him down even more firmly than in canon. She knew by the time he asked her out that she also had feelings for Killian (but then, she knew there was something special about Killian since long before) but the two things have nothing to do with each other, in fact in the fake reality she had moved on with Walsh too. She will fight with Mary Margaret if asked to give him a chance too. If she can’t defend herself in Manhattan it’s because his presence makes her feel smaller and submissive, that will take a while to go away. 

-Walsh was a very traumatic experience she will vent about eventually, a man pretending to love her, sleeping with her, manipulating her into a relationship by acting in whatever way he needed to be in her life, only to turn around and try to kill her is no joke. So was watching Gold almost crushing Killian’s heart, and so was thinking back of Graham and realizing exactly what had happened. (and so was watching Henry’s almost dead body in the hospital and in Neverland, and experiencing too many realities in her head).  

[butweareafamily]

rules - I bolded the most important bits in case you can't read long text

hello everyone, this is a mutuals only and canon divergent side-blog that will likely only follow back a few people because it’s created to fix things I didn’t like in canon and/or try other canon divergent plots that didn’t happen. It’s important you read the rules because there are characters I don’t interact with (due to how I think Emma would realistically react to some things outside of a tvshow and its limitations) and some changes in Emma’s feelings. Also because of triggers, because Emma has been abused in many ways.

My name is Ele and I’m 30+, pronouns she/her, super friendly but chronically ill. I follow back from butwearefamilymain. If I follow you with my other main blog thecharmingknightemma you are not required to follow it back. I may follow you with that Emma and not this one because I’m extra selective about the plots I want to explore with Emma Swan but can see things happening with my au one.

If we are mutuals and you want to specify the season/context/verse when you send a meme or reply to something, I welcome it. If you don’t, I’ll pick randomly. 

I’m primarily interested in roleplaying with her parents, son, and especially her husband, but I’m open to other friends too, au ships and so on; at the moment I’m not confident enough to write crossovers but I’m open to do that in the future when I have fully developed this canon divergent Emma. Here to plot for Elsa or Anna or other people to become best friends with her through the seasons. I like prolonging seasons as needed to give everyone time to grow and develop, especially the first half of season 3 by ‘trapping’ Pan for real and having him escape and curse everyone only later. Opens and memes and starter calls are always open, no expiration date, and if you worry about me considering you too pushy: if you request something from my wishlist I’ll be super happy, I’m a rper who loves when people read her stuff.

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Now here’s where the more controversial positions I have come into play, and while I don’t mean to offend anyone and I do rp with these characters in other au Emma blogs and respect the fact that you like them, I don’t want to do it here where Emma won’t be friendly due to what happens in canon: I will not write threads with Regina, Gold (after season 3) and Neal in this blog. An exception can be made for interactions with Gold: since her feelings depend on what the others have done in the past and present, if you write an au version of him that didn’t do anything to harm Emma&co. starting in season 4 (basically if he doesn’t rip Killian’s heart out/tries to kill Emma in 4a, and everything after that), Emma has no particular problems with him. 

She will never consider or call Regina a friend, but she will try to keep things civil between them for the sake of everyone in town, even if sometimes she has to bite her tongue (while not accepting any criticism over rescuing Marian and not being okay with being scolded for her ‘stupidity’ or having her loved ones insulted). With Neal she was more forceful about not wanting to date him and realized that she only loved her idealized memory of him, not the man he is now and that she doesn’t know.

If for any reason we decide Neal is alive in the background, they are simply co-parenting and he comes over to pick Henry up, she’s polite, but they don’t spend time together as friends because it hurts.

If you love one of those three canon characters or have a multi and write some of them too we can just avoid the subject, just let me know or otherwise her negative comments about canon events might happen.    Also I’m sorry but the only child of Emma I’ll write with is Henry, not because I don’t love the idea of Hope but because I have too many ideas of how she’d raise her and other children, I find it too godmod-y from both sides.

Also,  Emma’s relationship with Belle depends on whether she’s supportive of her husband/ex husband unless we write an au, regardless of whether she and Killian are friends. 

Other divergences: unless we plot a different name she’s not happy about her baby brother being named after Neal for several reasons; she will call him ‘baby bro’ and ‘little brother’ and any other possible variation of petnames. To be clear she wouldn’t be happy about another sibling being called Killian either, even if Killian had stayed dead. Just no.

I ignore the idea that Emma being good comes from her parents taking away the ‘evil potential’ for several reasons, including logic, but I’m okay with the ‘author’ having made her parents believe it/having written their actions and thoughts to force the story in that direction. I am also okay with Emma ‘reverting’ to hiding things from people in season 6 whether she’s called out for it or not, since a couple of years with a family (and more tragedies during these years) will not undo a lifetime of trauma but people have a right to get frustrated. For every step forward, if she feels rejected or betrayed she’ll take ten back.  Very interested in au Dark Swan plots, you can find examples here X.

It’s not necessary for you to read more details, you can guess some plot changes because for example she would tell Regina she can’t enslave a man and put him in a mirror as she pleases, but I’ll still write them in case you want/need to know more: they’ll be in the about page.

Just keep in mind that Emma is an incredibly traumatized woman who never had a ‘normal’ life, and before turning 28 believed to have never been loved and to always have been maliciously betrayed if she tried to hope it would work, with plenty abuse in her past (including literal physical and emotional abuse in her childhood as I state in the triggers section): a few months of having a family while also living through more tragedies certainly didn’t fix all of it nor taught her how to be perfectly functional and nice and reasonable at all times. She always tried to do her best and she has good instincts, and many wounds will heal but scars will stay. 

here the other standard rules:

-nobody here should get stressed out about replies. They happen when we can write and feel like it, if you need to drop a thread do it, be slow, give priority to what your mood tells you. I’m here for both of us to have fun, or we stop and do something else, that’s all. 

-nsfw is tagged and under read more if it happens.

-I try to tag everything but if you have special triggers do tell me. One exception is threads that involve a ship. I can’t tag every single thread with a Killian ‘captain swan’ especially if the other mun hasn’t given the okay for a ship, and by then it’d be quicker for you to just block the other rper name anyway. 

-triggers (to be read even if not all bolded so you don’t get surprised later): I don’t want to write rape or toxic relationships between our muses, in the backstory is fine (and canon, for many). No miscarriage. Please tag your gore images, daddy kink and nsfw in general or I can’t follow back. In this blog there will be talk of child abuse (Emma being the victim), abuse in general (especially since she will interact with abuse victims), PTSD, violence. Specifically, Emma was physically abused by some guardians, emotionally neglected or abused by others, and while for several reasons I don’t write her as a victim of sexual abuse, for some time she was canonically a homeless child and was aware she was at great risk of it, likely had to run to protect herself more than once. However she felt used by Neal for years, when it seemed that he had just been a conman, until finding him in Manhattan (and it helped a lot, though it doesn’t erase that for years she thought that was the truth), and she is NOT comfortable thinking about the romantic and sexual aspects of her relationship with Walsh, who turned out to be manipulating her and lying the entire time about everything, and was ready to kill her as well. 

-I can ship lots of things: Wooden Swan, Gremma and Mad Swan too? Even Frankenswan in more au ways and ScarletSwan, and crossover ships and others, but they require lots of plotting. Captain Swan is still OTP though and the default. If we are writing together and you sorta see a ship, this is your permission to ask. I don’t forceship, ever. 

-I adore Mary Margaret and David, if Emma is ever a bit unfair to them in threads or they made mistakes it can be solved in universe, you don’t have to worry about me disliking them. If anything this blog is also so that they can have a better and deeper relationship. 

-very okay with aus, other ways the show could have gone, other ways for her and Killian to fall in love, threads where one of her parents got to raise her, different ships, stronger friendships, and so on.

-I don’t want to hurt anyone, if I’m ever accidentally rude or hurt your feelings you can totally tell me! I’ll be happy to fix things and clear anything up if language barriers are what led to the misunderstanding. Just don’t be passive aggressive. Every time someone has told me ‘Ele, explain to me this thing because I’m feeling upset’ I ran to fix it, and it’s usually just a misunderstanding. Every time someone is passive-aggressive they stop existing for me. 

[butweareafamily]

[butweareafamily]

Not gonna lie, when it comes to ouat I never rewatch s1 and s6. In s1 all I was waiting for was for the curse to break because I wanted Emma to deal with having a real family, staying in one place for sure, and growing as a character more than she could in s1? By the end of s1 the only real change had been letting Mary Margaret be her friend. Everything else, fighting evil people and wanting the best for Henry and joy wanting to believe in anything more was already there from the beginning.

And I find s6 boring,I don't like untold stories, the aesthetic, I find the drama forced, it feels like every relationship has taken steps back because they weren't done before and there was nothing left to do going forward except for happiness which writers find boring, and too much of the characters I don't care about or don't like. I did rewatch Emma and Killian's scenes though.

But I won't remember the rest of s6 and much of s1 well and that's why I focus more on all other seasons where characters get to grow and also on going canon divergent after s6 more than ever and ignore as much as I can (and tbh the focus on other characters I don't like much happened in the latter half of most seasons so I still mostly focused on charming family and Killian scenes)

[butweareafamily]

thepiratehero​:

Killian heard her words and hoped that she would have a plan to help him. He knew that she would be able to tell that something was wrong. The crocodile instructed him to head to the clock tower when Emma was gone.

He wasn’t certain what more the crocodile had in store for him, what he did know was that he likely would get rid of him when no longer needed.

She called Belle on the phone, and that led to her calling Regina against her better judgement, because if Gold wasn’t home and Belle was telling her he had to be up to something, for who knows what reason, then it had to be him. Controlling Killian. God, his heart. So she did call Regina, bringing up Graham immediately to shut her up about Robin leaving, because she owed him a debt she could never repay, and damn it if she shouldn’t be there to stop another man from being killed that way. 

But it took time to find them, and Emma broke through the doors at the same time as Regina smashed the clock’s glass after teleporting to the other side. And Gold, caught by surprise, could only freeze Regina and blast Emma and Elsa back. But she had seen it - Killian’s heart.

[butweareafamily]

morning after starters.

‘  i  made  coffee.  ’ ‘  come  back  to  bed.  ’ ‘  where  are  you  off  to? ’ ‘  that  was  amazing.  ’ ‘  you  were  amazing.  ’ ‘  don’t  go.  ’ ‘  i  have  to  go  to  work.  ’ ‘  call  me  later?  ’ ‘  you  were  my  first.  ’ ‘  what  do  you  want  for  breakfast?  ’ ‘  i  need  to  let  the  dog  out.  ’ ‘  i  hope  you  aren’t  busy…  ’ ‘  babe?  ’ ‘  i’m  just  going  to  the  bathroom.  ’ ‘  i’m  not  going  anywhere.  ’ ‘  so,  how  long  are  we  going  to  stay  in  bed  today?  ’ ‘  are  you  okay?  ’

[butweareafamily]

I just wanted to be a better man for you, Swan. But I failed.

[butweareafamily]

thepiratehero​:

Killian cringed inside at the nickname Emma knew he wasn’t fond of. But then it occurred to him that she was calling him that on purpose. The crocodile didn’t know of the conversation they had regarding that name and Killians distain for being called a baby of any kind.

“Of course, love,” he replied, the dark one continuing to speak through him. There was hope that Emma would be able to tell that he wasn’t himself. And perhaps she could be able to get his heart back from the crocodile.

Someone was either watching them or controlling him.  So she smiled again and turned away, walking back to Elsa’s table. Still smiling, she started with a loud: “You won’t believe what Killian just told me!” so that he’d hear it while he left, and then she continued in a lower voice: “Act excited like you believe me, but someone is controlling him and made him say that he found your way home, which means someone is trying to get us out of the way and has him. Elsa, I need your help. Anna, I need you to tell my parents.”  Elsa had clasped her hands in fake joy, and now nodded: “I’m with you.”

[butweareafamily]

thepiratehero​:

Killian could tell the crocodile was annoyed with his attempt to alert Emma to something being wrong. It wasn’t easy to break through the control he had on him. He smiled as he looked back at Emma, the crocodiles words hitting him again.

“Of course,” he replied as the crocodile fed the words to him. “Don’t mean to worry you. Everything is perfectly fine.” He tried to fight through again and hoped Emma would be able to tell something was still wrong. He knew that the crocodile would soon be done with him and then he’d likely die.

“Good.” Her smile was tight, and she wondered why he was lying to her. And not in a regular ‘I don’t want to talk about this yet’ way, but one that involved grabbing her arm like he was trying to tell her something was wrong and yet didn’t want to admit it.  There were too many magical threats in that town at any given moment not to think that maybe that was something beyond his control.  And then she thought about the petname he had been against when it had come up on Netflix.  “Then I’ll focus on Elsa, baby. I’ll see you later?”

[butweareafamily]

Emma had stopped Killian again right after he had let go of her, an action so out of place, and so uncharacteristically not gentle, that she had needed to try again. “Killian, are you sure there is... nothing else you want to say to me?” she asked, eyeing him with obvious concern.  Elsa and Anna could wait, a few minutes wouldn’t make a difference.

Killian often battled with himself over many things. That often came with trying to better yourself, but he had never expected to have to battle for control. Since Rumplestiltskin took his heart he seemed intent on using Killian for any purpose he had. Partly he was sure to torture him. After all he hated not being in control of himself.

When he had seen Emma he held the hope that she would be able to sense something was wrong. He could hear the crocodiles voice in his head when he was controlling him and making him say what he wished. When he told Emma he was fine he fought as hard as he could to give her a sign that he wasn’t.

When the crocodile instructed him to leave he managed to break through enough to grab Emma’s arm. It was only for a minute before the crocodile regained control of him again and instructed him to leave the diner and go towards the clock tower.

[butweareafamily]

x bc of the post about the hero having to ask the villain for help but Emma having gotten roughed up so badly during a longer s2 in which she and Hook kept meeting and having moments but he's still out for revenge which makes him count as 'villain' and she gets there, bleeding and in pain and looking for a hiding spot and collapses in his arms