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butterflylixie · 2 years ago

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the first time i saw you | three - not again

pairing: bang chan x fem!reader

word count: 2.5K

genre: smut, angst, non-idol!au, friends to lovers, highschool!au

warnings: smut, mentions of abuse, kidnapping, bullying, alcohol | warning will be added to each chapter

blurb: He’s had his eyes on her since the first time he saw her, way back in the first grade. She was adorable with her big eyes and chubby cheeks. But as she grew up, she transformed into a beautiful, young woman. He could hardly keep his eyes off of her whenever she walked into a room or brushed by him in the hallway. But he’s never even attempted to make a move on her. They were two completely different people. She was a shy, timid girl who was hardly noticed. He was a popular, outgoing athlete who was known to the whole school. But he wants her and is determined to finally take a chance.

updates every wednesday at 4pm pst

series masterlist | latest updates

Crawling out of bed, Chan walks across the hall to hop in the shower. Once he’s finished, he brushed his teeth, got dressed, sprayed himself with his favorite cologne, and styled his hair in it's usual style.

Looking in mirror, Chan glanced over his appearance before heading downstairs for breakfast.

By the time he was halfway down the stairs, he could smell the pancakes his mom was making. Grinning like a little kid in a candy store, he hurried downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Morning, honey," Chan’s mom greeted me. "Morning," Chan replied, kissing her cheek. He then went over to the cupboard, pulling out a plate and delivering it to his mom. She placed two pancakes on it and Chan covered each of them with butter and syrup.

"So," his mom spoke, leaning against the counter as he gobbled down my breakfast. "How's y/n?" Chan rolled his eyes at her question. She's always known about his crush on y/n and she constantly asks about her.

"Mom," Chan whined, stabbing at one of his pancakes with his fork. "I just want to know if you've talked to her at all," she defended herself. He sighed dramatically and leaned back in his chair. "Well," he began, thinking about what happened yesterday. "I talked to her a little bit yesterday."

His mom grinned excitedly. "Spill," she demanded. Chan shook his head. "Don't get your hopes up," he warned her. "I sort of...fell into her." his mom's eyebrows shot up and the smile fell from her face.

"You fell into her? How?" She asked. Chan dropped his fork onto the plate that was infront of him, feeling the guilt wash over him all over again. "Jisung pushed Changbin into me and I lost my balance," Chan explained. "I guess y/n was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

his mom had a look of pity on her face. He didn't know if it was for him or for y/n. Maybe both. "Oh, honey," she said, grimacing a bit. "I know." He mumbled, picking up his fork again and shoving another bite of pancake into his mouth.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, but that's not how you get the girls," my mom joked. Chan playfully glared at her before finishing off his meal.

"I'd better get to school," he said, getting up and kissing his mom's cheek once more. "Have a good day, honey." She told Chan.

After lunch, he found himself in the library, in search of a book he needed for a history project. He searched shelf after shelf before finally finding it. He grabbed the book and was about to leave the aisle he was in when out of the corner of his eye, he noticed someone at the end of the aisle.

When heI turned to get a better look, Chan realized it was y/n. He swallowed nervously. She looked so beautiful today. Heck, she looks beautiful every day. He bit his lip, absentmindedly eyeing her frame as she gazed up at the bookshelves that were much taller than her. He smiled a little at how cute her height made her.

Suddenly, she glanced over at him, as if she could feel his eyes on her. Chan blinked a couple times, snapping out of the trance she unknowingly put him in. It seems like we've been in this situation with each other a million times. She's always catching him every time he stared at her.

"Hi, y/n," Chan said gently, stepping towards her and trying to ease the awkwardness. He couldn't help but notice the small step she took away from him. "Hi," she replied softly. Her voice was so quiet, but it was music to his ears.

"Um, I'm really sorry about what happened yesterday," Chan apologized, scratching the back of my neck. "I-it's okay," she replied, looking back up at the bookshelf.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Chan asked her, tilting his head to the side a bit. She nodded. "I'm okay," she said softly. I sighed quietly in relief. "Good." Chan replied.

She gave me a small, shy smile that was just big enough to give me butterflies. Chan returned the kindest smile he could muster. Maybe this could be the very beginning of something between us.

As Chan was about to start up a new conversation with y/n, she stood on her tip-toes, pulled down a book, and walked away before he could even say goodbye. Chan thought about going after her but couldn't come up with a good reason to do so. He didn't want to creep her out.

Huffing out a sigh, he turned and left. He didn't even get to properly introduce myself. Sure, Chan knew her name and she probably knew his, but still.

If things keep going like this, He’d never get y/n to be his.

'How on earth does he know my name?' That was the question you kept repeating to yourself in your head.

No one knows your name. So why would one of the most popular guys in school take the time to learn and remember your name?

You thought back to yesterday when Chan fell into you and today, when he talked to you in the library. Both times, he said your name. And he apologized, asking if you were okay. You’ve been bumped into and tripped before. Those people would merely glance at you and half-heartedly ask if you were okay before walking off. No apology.

Chan fell into you, and you fully expected him to get up and walk off without even glancing at you. But you were surprised when he stayed right there and made sure you were okay. In fact, you were the one to walk off.

You sighed as you unlocked the front door to your house and stepped inside. It was quiet, as usual. Your mom works until 5:30 every day, meaning you’re home alone for two and a half hours after school. But youI like it. It's your favorite time of day. You love having some time all to yourself

After grabbing a snack from the kitchen, you jogged upstairs to your bedroom. You plopped down onto your bed and laid on your back, staring up at the ceiling. Listening to the calming silence, youI let my brain clear of any worries you had.

You laid there for a while, just taking in the peacefulness. But eventually, you decided to get started on your homework. You dug through your backpack, pulling out your books, but finding no pencil.

Turning around, you snatched an extra one off your nightstand, but not before taking a glance at the picture that sat next to your lamp. It was a photo of you and your dad when you were little.

You were both grinning from ear to ear, making you crack a smile at how happy you both looked.

Then you frowned, as the question that you asked myself every single day popped into your head; Why would a happy man that loved his family leave them? Your thoughts drifted off, remembering the night he left.

You still remember your dad coming into your room and kissing your forehead for the last time. You still remember listening as his footsteps trudge down the stairs. you still remember hearing your mom begging him to stay and screaming that she was sorry for whatever happened.

You still remember hearing the front door close behind him and watching him leave in his car. You still remember looking out your window into the darkness outside, wondering where your dad could possibly be going. You still remember hearing your mom sobbing downstairs and figuring that something bad must have happened.

But you were too young to understand.

That night is chiseled into your mind. It's the most vivid memory you have.

You’'ve only tried once to ask your mom what happened that night and why Dad left. The look on her face has never left you. You'd never seen someone look so depressed and despondent. You quickly dropped the subject and haven't even tried to ask about it since.

You didn't realize that you were holding the picture frame until you shook yourself out of the memories. Quickly, you shoved away any brewing feelings that remained of your dad and what happened that night. You set the picture back down on your nightstand. Your mom has repeatedly asked you to take it down and put it away, but you've never been able to.

Your dad was your best friend, at least from what you could remember. That picture and the memories you had, were the only things you had left of him. So, you cling to them with your life.

Taking a deep breath, you turned your attention back to your homework. You were no longer motivated to do any of it, but you forced yourself to, so you could get your mind off your dad.

By the time you finished, you still had an hour left before your mom would get home. You walked around the house for almost ten minutes, looking for something to do. When you found your back in your bedroom, you concluded that you were bored and had nothing to do.

Sighing, deciding to just go for a walk, since you couldn't come up with anything better to do. You grabbed your phone and pulled on your jacket, scarf, and boots before heading out the door.

Immediately, you stuffed your hands into the pockets of your jacket. It was only mid-November, but it seemed to be getting colder and colder every day. Clearly, winter was around the corner.

You watched your breath as it blew out of your mouth like cigarette smoke. Your eyes began to dart all over the place, taking in every detail of your surroundings. One minute, they were gazing at the naked trees, the next at the small patches of snow sitting on the sidewalk and dead grass.

November has always been your least favorite month. It's that period when everything is dead, but there's not quite enough snow to hide the brown grass and mask the ugliness of the naked trees. Everything seems a little bit more depressing and lonelier and the sky always seems to be gray.

"Chan, look out!"! you heard a deep voice shout, pulling you from your thoughts. You looked up just in time to see a large body coming towards you at a very fast pace before ramming right into you, making a grunting noise as the force took you down, onto the sidewalk.

You heard someone above you curse under their breath and you flinched a little at their choice of words.

"I swear, I'm not doing this on purpose," the Jisung person said. Their voice sounded familiar. Looking up, you found Chan gazing down at you, a look of worry splashed across his features.

"Are you okay?" He asked, kneeling and dropping the football that he had in his hand. You nodded, sitting yourselff up.

"Let me help you up," he said, wrapping an arm around your waist and hoisting you up. "Thanks, "you said softly once you were back on your feet. You instantly begin to brush yourself off and expected Chan to let you go, but he didn't. He kept his arm wrapped firmly around your waist, holding you a little too close for comfort.

You craned your neck to look up at him. He was much bigger than you. Then again, pretty much everyone was. He had to be a few inches taller than you. Maybe even more. You could feel the muscles in his arm that still clinging to your waist and started to feel intimidated and a little frightened. You wanted to ask him to let me go but couldn't muster the bravery to do so.

"Are you sure you're alright, y/n?" There he goes, saying your name again. You nodded, quickly glancing into his eyes before looking away. They were a hypnotizing, brown color that you knew you’d get lost in.

You took in your surroundings again, finding that you’d already made it to the park, which was about a ten-minute walk from your house.

"We've really got to stop meeting up like this, huh?" Chan spoke again, a light chuckle in his voice. Smiling shyly, you stay quiet. You could still feel his firm grip on your waist, and you were starting to feel anxious and uncomfortable. You took a slight step back and Chan took the hint that you were trying to give him and he finally let go of you.

Nervously, you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, taking another step back to put some more space in between the two of you. Chan knelt to pick up the football he'd dropped as you awkwardly gazed around the park. You noticed two boys, who you recognized from school, staring directly at both of you. Quickly, you looked away, feeling even more uncomfortable.

"I-I got to go," you stuttered nervously, already backing away as Chan stood back up. Just as you turned around to walk away, his voice stopped you. "y/n, wait!"

Stopping in your tracks, you slowly turned around to face Chan again. He stepped closer to you, but not too close.. "Um, do you want to go get a coffee with me? You know, to make up for knocking you over again." He said with a light chuckle.

You clenched your jaw to ensure that it wouldn't drop open. Was he really asking to hang out with you? Why would he want to do that? After all, he's one of those stereotypical, popular football players and your a nobody.

"Uh, I-I should probably be getting ho--" you started to politely decline, but he cut me off, lightly grabbing your arm. "Please?" He begged, gazing into your eyes. His brown eyes were so beautiful and captivating. How could you say no to those eyes?

"O-okay," you stuttered, suddenly nervous. You’d never been alone with a boy before. Now, all the sudden, Bang Chan, one of the most popular people in your school, wanted to take you out for coffee?

Chan smiled, releasing your arm. Then he turned to face the two boys that continued to watch you both "See you later, guys!" He called, throwing them the football that was in his hand. It spiraled perfectly. One of them caught it smoothly, and you swear you could see them both smirking. That made you even more nervous than you already were. Making you feel like the three of them were up to something.

Chan turned back to you. "Let's go. I'll drive," He said, briefly touching the small of your back before you began walking down the sidewalk, where a few cars were parked alongside it.

"I'm Chan, by the way," he said, smiling at you. "Yeah, I know," you replied quietly. "I'm y/n." His smile briefly transformed into a smirk. "Yeah, I know." He mimicked. You smiled, feeling a blush heat your cheeks.

Tag list: @rosexjimin @phobia0325 @lilydaisyyy @celestixldarling @hyunjinsbbokari

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butterflylixie · 2 years ago

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the first time i saw you | two - first impressions

pairing: bang chan x fem!reader

word count: 1k

genre: smut, angst, non-idol!au, friends to lovers, highschool!au

warnings: smut, mentions of abuse, kidnapping, bullying, alcohol | warning will be added to each chapter

series masterlist | latest updates

Chan bit his lip as his eyes looked out in the crowd of students filing down the hallway.

Leaning against his locker, he gazed at y/n. She was so perfect. Her hair fell perfectly, reaching the middle of her back. Her big eyes glanced around the hallway as she made her way through the sea of people.

"Chan!" Someone snapped, breaking his gaze. He blinked a couple times before focusing back on his friends. "What?" Chan asked, a little annoyed that they had stolen his attention from y/n.

His friend, Changbin, chuckled while rolling his eyes. "Dude, can you stop drooling over y/n for two seconds?" He asked. Chan gave him a harsh glare, but didn't bother with a comeback.

"Look, if you like her so much, then just go ask her out," his other friend, Jisung, said. He rolled his eyes, turning to his locker and opening it. "You know I can't just go up to her and randomly ask her out. She's so shy. I'd probably just creep her out." Chan told him, taking books for his next class out of his locker.

"You don't know that," Jisung argued. Changbin shook his head. "No, he's right. She's probably terrified of him by now with all the staring he does at her," he joked. Chan shut his locker and smacked the back of his head. His laughter made it hard not to crack a smile.

Just then, the warning bell went off, telling us to get to class. Changbin, Jisung, and Chan said their goodbyes and parted ways.

He walked down the hall and rounded the corner, into his class. Walking in, he greeted a few people as he made his way over to his desk. He then sat down and waited for his least favorite class of the day to begin. Biology

For one hour, Chan sat there, just waiting for class to end. He tried to concentrate, but couldn't find his focus. Eventually, he just gave up trying and let his thoughts wander to y/n.

He thought about all of her features; her long hair, her gorgeous eyes, her cute nose, and figure. She's so fragile. All he wanted was to hold her in his arms and keep her safe forever.

The bell snapped Chan out of his thoughts. Quickly, he stood up and scurried out of the classroom.

He met up with Changbin and Jisung as he was making his way to his locker. They started laughing and screwing around, but he stopped paying attention to them once he caught sight of y/n. She was walking in his direction, her eyes focused on the floor. Chan bit his lip anxiously.

As she got closer to me, she looked up for a short moment and met my eyes. Butterflies started to flutter around in his stomach.

He was about to give her a charming smile when he felt something ram into my left side. The harsh impact was enough to make me him lose his balance. Chan started falling before he could catch himself.

Chan felt himself bring someone else down with him as he collapsed into the lockers. He cringed. 'Please, please, don't let it be y/n,' he silently begged. Reluctantly, he looked down at the person that he’d taken down with him.

Sure enough, there was y/n. Chan immediately began to panic as he worried that he had hurt her.

He moved in front of her, crouched down. She was sitting up against the lockers where they had fallen, her body visibly shaking a bit.

"y/n, I am so sorry. Are you okay?" Chan asked with immense concern. He’d never be able to forgive myself if he ever did anything to hurt her. She was the last person he would ever even think of hurting.

Some relief washed over her as she nodded her head. "Are you sure?" he asked, subconsciously reaching out to touch her face. But the second his finger tips brushed the soft skin of her cheek, she flinched and pulled away, gently getting to her feet. "I-I'm okay." She stuttered quietly.

Before he could even stand up myself, she gathered up the books she'd dropped and took off. He remained crouched down in front of the lockers as he watched her hurry away from him, down the hallway. A wave of guilt washed over Chan.

"Are you okay, man?" Jisung asked, helping him back up. Chan nodded, bowing his head to look at the floor. He couldn't believe what had just happened.

"I'm sorry, Chan. I didn't mean to push Changbin so hard," Jisung apologized. Changbin must have fallen into him while he and Jisung were messing around. He shrugged. "It's okay, man." Chan told him, trying not to be upset with him.

He just hoped y/n was okay.

Tag list: @rosexjimin @phobia0325 @lilydaisyyy

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butterflylixie · 2 years ago

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the first time i saw you | intro

pairing: bang chan x fem!reader

word count: 1k

genre: smut, angst, non-idol!au, friends to lovers, highschool!au

warnings: smut, mentions of abuse, kidnapping, bullying, alcohol | warning will be added to each chapter

updates every wednesday at 4pm pst

series masterlist | latest updates

The first day of school. First grade. Not many people remember this specific day of their lives, but Chan does. And he remembers it well.

He was in the back of the classroom, talking with one of his new friends when he just so happened to glance at the door. At that moment, a little girl walked in, holding her father’s hand tightly. She was glancing nervously around the room, eyeing her new classmates.

Chan stopped what he was doing and focused on the girl. She was very small. Much smaller than any of the other kids.

The teacher walked up to the little girl and her father, obstructing Chan's view. Quickly, he moved closer so he could see her again.

He didn't know what it was about her. She intrigued him. He felt the need to meet her and befriend her. And this was back when he still thought girls had cooties. Subconsciously, he decided that this girl didn't. She was different, for some reason.

"Welcome to our class, y/n." The teacher said to the little girl with a warm smile.

y/n.

Chan's lips twitched up into a small smile as he heard her name. He repeated it over and over again in his head, finding a new liking to the name.

Just then, y/n glanced over at him. When she found the mysterious, little boy staring at her, she looked away and scooted closer to her dad. Chan felt bad all of the sudden. He'd scared her. He felt his cheeks heat up from embarrassment.

"y/n, let me show you to your cubby and you can put your things in there," the teacher said, guiding y/n and her father over to the cubbies. Chan watched as she walked away from him and sighed.

Little did he know, that would be the start of a long, eleven-year crush on y/n.

Despite his huge crush, Chan only spoke to y/n a few times. He wanted to talk to her more, but she was so shy and timid. He knew that talking to her made her feel uncomfortable and maybe even anxious. He didn't want her to feel that way, especially with him. So he tried his hardest to leave her alone.

But the older y/n got, the more beautiful she got. Chan could hardly keep his eyes off of her by middle school.

Sometimes, she would catch him staring at her, just like she did on the first day of school all those years ago. Quickly, he would look away, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable.

By the time they got to high school, Chan had grown to be very popular. He was a star on both the football team and the basketball team. Girls would whisper about him, gossiping about how attractive he was. They wondered why he didn't have a girlfriend when he had so many girls drooling over him and his looks. But Chan only had his eyes on one girl; y/n.

Every day, she appeared to grow more and more beautiful. She still had that hair that Chan desperately wanted to run his fingers through and those big eyes that he could stare into forever. She had him wrapped around her little finger, and she didn't even know it.

He wanted to be with her so badly, but they were two completely different people. He was so popular and out-going, while she was so shy and timid. He was known around the whole school, while she was hardly noticed. Chan wondered how so much beauty could go so unnoticed.

y/n was always quiet and timid. She was the type of girl who would apologize for something, even if it wasn't her fault. She was never looking for attention and didn't mind blending in with the background.

Her small stature made her look so tiny compared to everyone else. But that was one of the things that Chan liked about her. It made her absolutely adorable in the midst of her amazing beauty.

Now a junior in high school, Chan is tired of just watching and waiting for some miracle to happen where y/n would simply fall into his arms.

He wanted her. He's always wanted her. And now, he's finally determined to take a chance for the girl of his dreams.

tag list: @rosexjimin

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butterflylixie · 2 years ago

Text

series masterlist | the first time i saw you

updates every wednesday at 4pm pst

pairing: bang chan x fem!reader

word count: 60.4k

chapters: 25

genre: smut, angst, non-idol!au, friends to lovers,

warnings: smut, mentions of abuse, kidnapping, bullying, alcohol | warning will be added to each chapter

blurb: He’s had his eyes on her since the first time he saw her, way back in the first grade. She was adorable with her big eyes and chubby cheeks. But as she grew up, she transformed into a beautiful, young woman. He could hardly keep his eyes off of her whenever she walked into a room or brushed by him in the hallway. But he’s never even attempted to make a move on her. They were two completely different people. She was a shy, timid girl who was hardly noticed. He was a popular, out-going athlete who was known to the whole school. But he wants her, and is determined to finally take a chance.

masterlist |

C H A P T E R S

one: intro

two - first impressions

three - not again

four - coffee

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butterflylixie · 4 years ago

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Stray Kids: You Falling Asleep

m a s t e r l i s t | n a v i g a t i o n

Chan:

He becomes softer for you than he already is. He just stares at you, admiring your beauty for a moment before wrapping an arm around you and pulling you gently into his chest.

Minho:

He can tell himself all he wants that he is never going to be soft around the guys. Boy is he wrong, he walks into the dorm after getting snacks for a movie night with the guys, and sees you sleeping on the couch, and just melts. He’ll pick you up gently and carry you to his room, and cuddle you for the rest of the night

Changbin:

He thinks you’re the cutest when you're sleeping. You’re his little baby. Most likely you're already on his lap and he’ll just leave you there and hold you until you wake up. He’ll give you soft little pecks while you're sleeping because you're just so cute.

Hyunjin:

He loves watching you sleep because it’s the only time you really let him admire your beauty. He falls more and more in love with you. You look so sweet and innocent sleeping. He’ll give you soft, sweet pecks and whisper sweet nothings and compliments in your ear.

Jisung:

Clings to you instantly!! He thinks your the cutest little thing. He pulls you into his chest and when you instantly snuggle closer to him, he freaks out. Just you snuggling into him unconsciously in your sleep makes his stomach do a thousand kart wheel.

Felix:

Like Chan he becomes softer for you. He’ll hold you close to his side and just admire you. He’ll probably run his fingers through your hair and give you sweet pecks on your cheeks and forehead.

Seungmin:

He would smile and gently wrap his arms around you. He would kiss your forehead and cheeks and pull you gently into him. To him seeing you sleeping is the most precious thing to him. Just like hyunjin, he thinks you look the most innocent when you're sleeping.

Jeongin:

You two would be in the middle of playing a video game together. You would be sitting in between his legs on the floor, slowly your eyes would start drooping and you’d fall asleep. He looked down when he noticed the light snores escaping from your lips. He would coo at you sweetly and smile, pulling you gently into his chest, letting you get some rest.

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butterflylixie · 4 years ago

Text

Stray Kids: S/O Suffers With Depression

m a s t e r l i s t | n a v i g a t i o n

Chan:

Chan would be the most understanding. He would always be there for you, whether it was listening to you vent about what’s going on or just holding you because you need someone. He would give you advice and do everything in his power to make sure you're alright.

Minho:

Minho seems like he’s more of a listener. He’ll give you advice if you ask for it, but he’ll let you do more of the talking. He’ll push you to open not but not to the point where you're overwhelmed. He wants to know how you're feeling so he can try and make you feel better. If you didn’t want to talk, he would be there to comfort you with hugs and cuddles.

Changbin:

Changbin would worry about you. A LOT. He’s so soft for you that it would hurt to see you upset. He constantly thinks about all the way he can be there for you. If you want to talk about it, he’ll be there to listen. If you aren’t ready to talk, he’ll give you your space and wait for you to approach him. Expect lots of cuddles and sweet kisses.

Hyunjin:

Hyunjin would do everything in his power to try and make you feel better. He would take you on cute little dates, such as the movies, dinner or walks in the park. He would let you know that you can talk to him whenever you feel comfortable, like changbin it wouldn’t push you and wait for you to come to him on your own.

Jisung:

We all know Jisung is a big goof but he would get really serious when he found out. He would ask you if you needed anything from him. He would give you a ton of hugs and kisses, assuring you that he loves you and he will always be there for you. Like Minho he would be more of a listener.

Felix:

Felix would be the type of boyfriend to bake you a billion goodies. You’re either sitting in the kitchen with him while he’s baking or you're helping him bake. He thought this would be the best way to help you open up to him more. You would be attentive when your speaking to him and thinking of all the ways he could make you feel better.

Seungmin:

He would feel really bad for not noticing that you were feeling this way. He would give you a lot of reassurance, letting you know he is always there for you and that he loves you. He would give you advice and suggest seeing a therapist. He would also be okay if you just wanted to vent all your feelings to him instead.

Jeongin:

Being the youngest member, Jeongin wouldn’t know how to approach the situation very well. He would ask the older members for advice. Of course he is going to be there for you if you want to talk. He might not give the best advice but it’s the thought that counts. He would give you reassuring hugs and let you know you loves you so much.

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