butilovemymirror

[butilovemymirror]

I can't believe this but it was on the news. They figured out the reason Minnesota is so humid now is because at a certain temperature corn releases water into the air. We're drowning in corn water. Corn related deadly weather. My life has been significantly, negatively altered by corn sweat. I knew climate change would come for us eventually, but I thought we had time what with being landlocked and cold as fuck to begin with.

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The idea that rural communities wouldn't benefit from public transit of some form is so fucking stupid. There was a guy in my hometown who would hitch hike 15 miles to the grocery store because he was blind that everyone knew and knew to offer rides to if they saw him. You know what else would have fixed this, been more efficient, and helped other disabled people, seniors, and people whose cars got repoed?

A fucking bus.

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[Link]

Under the "has cleared its orbital neighborhood" and "fuses hydrogen into helium" definitions, thanks to human activities Earth technically no longer qualifies as a planet but DOES count as a star.

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*emerges from the other room covered in blood* you should see the word document

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mitch saying auston was the toughest call to make after the trade... okay bro okay br o i'm falling apart

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Mary Poppins/Miss Honey Matilda/Amelia Bedelia polycule. what would that look like

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Ppl make fun of that genre of horny post where words are different colors but I actually think it’s funnier that this website even has customizable text colors, something most social media does not have, and that’s like the only thing ppl use it for

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love how wholesome this is

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The reason Laurence assumed that gay sex only happens when there aren't women around to be an alternative is because he has never once considered that anyone might be attracted exclusively to the opposite sex. He just assumes that everyone is attracted to both sexes and that same-sex relationships are illegal because of the same arbitrary etiquette rules that dictate everything else about his life

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[butilovemymirror]

I love pomegranate juice but to obtain it I either have to pay a lot of money or I have to deal with The Mess so basically I don’t get to drink pomegranate juice

[butilovemymirror]

So funny story.

I work for a financial institution and have a pretty senior position, but I still have to do a lot of 'training'

Every quarter we have to do 'IT training' that's basically 'dont open phishing emails, don't give out personal information of our clients' and 'everything you do can be tracked, including internet usage and we can read your emails and teams whenever we want.'

Have at it.

I've worked there seven years and they've never once said anything about me reading the news, AO3, Google docs, anything. So I figure 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm fine. They block all social media, but never blocked AO3.

Cut to today.

There are exactly two people in the company I like.

I'm outside decompressing with said two people as we do for 15 minutes at the end of everyday before we go home to our families. Kinda like wiping away the ick of the day.

IT guy: so what's ao3?

Me: what?! Why would you ask me that?

IT: because outside of sites related to your job, that's your most visited website

Me: you guys actually track that?!

IT: yeah we just don't give a shit. Unless you're being audited or investigated we don't give two fucks. So what's ao3?

My other friend is laughing her ass off.

Friend: OH MY GOD ISN'T THAT WHERE YOU READ YOUR WEREWOLF PORN?!

IT: enough said. Hope it's good at least.

Y'all my emo ass, skinny jeans and DC wearing IT guy knows I read/write werewolf porn on the clock and basically said godspeed.

[butilovemymirror]

taylor swift engagement announcement. please what are your thoughts

Travis Kelce gets dementia by the time he’s 40 and Taylor swift spends 5 years puppeting him the way people have with elderly US politicians into promoting her career and then after she’s done enough of that publicly releases the dementia diagnosis puts him in a care home writes a sad album about it and then starts dating younger men. Has a mini scandal because she does donor events with the NFL and talks about how #supportive they’ve been and everyone’s like Bro they’re the ones that turned his brain into sludge.