butchbite

[butchbite]

Being stone can simply mean that you won't ever be penetrated, or that you won't ever penetrate someone else, but it can also mean:

"I'm ok with receiving oral sex, but I do not want to be penetrated."

"I do not want to receive oral sex, but I do like to wear a strap and have that played with/sucked, etc."

"I do not want anyone (other than me/not even me) to touch me from the waist down."

"I'm ok with having my breasts/chest touched, but not my vagina/hole/cock/t-dick/strap."

"I'm dysphoric about my breasts/chest and would rather no one touched/played with it."

"It takes time for me to warm up to someone, and until then, I do not want any part of my body touched. Period."

"I'm ok with using certain toys to stimulate certain parts of my body, but I'd rather no one touched me in those same ways."

"I'm ok with performing oral sex on someone else, but am not comfortable with penetrating them."

"I'm ok with being penetrated, but do not want to perform oral sex on someone else."

"I'm ok with touching/playing with someone else's breasts/chest, but would rather not touch them below the waist."

You can learn and build the boundaries that will better work for yourself. You can communicate those boundaries to a partner. Those boundaries are valid, they should be respected, and they do not make you any less worthy of being listened to, in a space where you feel safe to change your mind, say no at any time knowing your partner will immediately stop.

[butchbite]

if you want the rewards of giving someone the strap you must submit to the mortifying ordeal of fumbling around with a contraption

[butchbite]

Just put your fingers in her mouth and keep them there. Topping certain lesbians is so low effort it's incredible.

[butchbite]

Wanna be on a bed with my wrists tied together and like a spreader bar around my ankles so I cant close my legs while someone teases my clit and just barely puts their fingers inside me 🥺

[butchbite]

im a big fan of loving degradation:

“i love it when you get this dumb for me”

“you’re so pretty when you’re desperate”

“you get wet so fast it’s precious”

cause desperate, dripping messes deserve all the praise in the world

[butchbite]

obsessed with that face tops make when they accidentally discover a weak spot of yours or a kink of yours through something they did. that little surprised face and then the WICKED grin and then they say some shit like “oh? so you like this? yeah?” and then they do it again??? it gets to me every time on god

[butchbite]

Pssst.

Are you a sub/bottom that has issues kneeling because of the pressure created by sitting on your feet/ankles?

Look into meditation benches.

[butchbite]

tying a ribbon to your butch's carabiner that matches the one in your hair so everyone knows they're yours when you go out💖

[butchbite]

It's really disappointing how many of y'all argue it's okay to share people's nudes without clear consent. "Whoever posted it online gave consent for us to share by posting it online." As if people don't post revenge porn??

Those deleted accounts you reblog from might have literally been deleted for posting revenge porn. Seriously, use your common sense. If you can't check the OP and see it's that person and they are over 18, stop sharing it. I've literally seen people sharing images and gifs of someone who I know was deleted for posting underaged porn of themselves! Gross, you're sharing literal CP. Check the source when sharing nudes. It keeps everyone safe and takes 2 seconds.

[butchbite]

btw on the topic of phantom penis...

[this book is an oral history of the old buffalo butch/femme scene]

when i first bought this book and was casually flipping through it and immediately happened to flip to this page where they were describing the kind of sex i do when im too lazy to put on the strap. like ive never heard of this being a sex act, but it's really hot? and what makes it so especially hot is that my femme can so very obviously feel my dick.

apparently ive fucked her so well that her brain fully believes in the phantom dick, no silicone necessary.

[butchbite]

one of my favorite articles talks about how the ghost and the strap work as a symbiotic relationship.

it's discussing it in the context of trans men and improving phallo erotic sensation outcomes, but i think it is of interest to all of us who know how good it feels, but are still like "why?????"

it's not a medical study or anything, this topic is super under-researched. it kind of goes over existing research in related topics and speculates how it could give us hints. and it's really awesome to see someone finally talking about this.

if you say shit like “how does wearing a strap feel good for the top” or “why would you suck the strap they can’t feel anything” i’m stealing something from your house !!

[butchbite]

jsyk there aren’t only the two options of being 100% stone or 100% okay with all kinds of touching.

shout out to the ones who are mostly stone tops but okay with bottoming rarely! to stone under the clothes but okay with touching when clothes are on! shout out to touching without penetration! to “don’t touch my chest except every once in a while when I ask you to suck on them”

AND shout out to mostly stone bottoms! to “I don’t give head but I’ll touch you over your clothes” and to “if I don’t currently have acrylics on and we are in the mood then maybe”

Etc etc etc!

[butchbite]

Thinking about getting my sweetheart to touch themselves for me, having them sit down and start to rub themselves through their underwear, letting them get all worked up for me, with just my voice and my gaze getting them hot and bothered. then once they’re nice and needy, i’ll get on my knees in front of them, spreading their legs and they think im going to get them off but instead i just kiss all over their thighs, giving them bite marks and hickeys, so close they can feel my breath, just making them squirm and whimper, teasing them for how wet they are, but i never pleasure them until they can make themselves cum with just their fingers. then, and only then, i’ll worship them through another orgasm.

This post is about lesbian sex.

[butchbite]

No one talks about a butch gently placing their hand on your cheek before they kiss you.. so I’m here to talk about it.

AND THEIR THUMB MOVING BACK AND FORTH ON YOUR CHEEK AND THEN TO YOUR BOTTOM LIP.

[butchbite]

(this post is about a t4t autistic4autistic stone butch4stone femme relationship. my femme uses he/they/she pronouns.)

there are two topics i think don’t get as much attention as they could in stone butch/stone femme discussions:

it’s possible to like doing something nice for your partner even/especially if they “don’t do it back”

orgasm is not an unambiguously good or desirable thing for everyone all the time in all situations

for nonsexy examples, i like making pour-over coffee, and whenever possible i make my girlfriend coffee and breakfast in the morning. they could do it for themself, but i like the action of doing it. the only thing i “get” out of it is him being sleepy and cute playing with her phone at the table, and a kiss and a “thank you baby” when i pass over the mug. it’s something i like doing for its own sake.

my girlfriend drives me to work almost every day. she doesn’t have to - i’ve said before that i walked to and from work every day for five years before we moved in together - but they like spending the time together, and knowing that i’m not walking most of a mile in whatever weather.

i like getting my girlfriend off. i feel good and satisfied when he orgasms. the way their body and brain are configured means multiple orgasms are good, and when she’s all fucked out i get to have a happy, cuddly, shivery jelly-femme in my arms (and, as they put it, “a well-earned god complex”).

orgasms can be more complicated for me. some kinds of touch can trigger my ptsd. sometimes getting in the headspace of arousal requires me to be very aware of my own genitals, which can trigger dysphoria. even some things that aren’t triggering, things “everyone likes”, feel about as erotic as someone putting their fingers in my nose. on the other hand, “non-sex” kink acts like being scratched by my femme’s sharp nails can be delightfully overwhelming, even if they don’t make me orgasm.

my girlfriend only touches me in ways i like to be touched. just as importantly, my girlfriend only touches me in ways they like to touch. when we want to try something new we talk about it, including potential ways it could hit wrong, and ways to safe-signal out if needed. we make space for ourselves and each other, to feel our own feelings, without trying to map onto what a non-stone relationship “should” look like.

not every relationship looks the same, but i think you should be able to have a base of communication and trust with whoever you’re intimate with, in whatever ways intimacy looks like for you. like. i don’t think that’s a wild thing to say.

[butchbite]

I'm glad so many people seem to like it and that so many people feel so enthusiastic identifying with their desire to attract butches. But personally I'm kind of uncomfortable with the term "butch bait"...

There are a lot of different strategies for dealing with the predatory lesbian narrative and its focus on butches and other masculine lesbians. Transformation as op described is one way, but it's not the only good way. And it's not the right path for everyone. This stuff is really really personal.

Personally, I go more for wholesale rejection. Yeah, I do wanna reduce the feeling that my desire is predatory. I do a pretty good job at doing it, after a lot of work and great people in my life. But sometimes it still pops up when people put expectations on me that seem like they're coming from those ideas.

With the wider cultural context of people fetishizing butches and expecting us to always and only use the teeth and the claws, I don't really enjoy strangers invoking that as a primary way they advertise a desire for butches.

I don't want to be seen as some kind of hunter with sharp edges, even if that's a good thing, because it's not the way I have fun and it's not the way I have sex. Maybe that's because I'm not big on playing pretend. Maybe it's because I tend to find more power in rejection than I do in reclamation. Maybe it's just that I think it's really hot when my femme whines that I'm being so mean, but immediately admits that it's actually very kind of me to tie her up and tease her, because it feels really good and she needs it.

Anyways I hope this doesn't rain on the parade too much because that's not my goal here. Glad you're all having fun, but just don't forget to check with how a butch wants to have their desire portrayed before you go pursuing them in a way that'll hurt (or getting confused when they aren't the one pursuing you) because we can have very different feelings on topics that affect us!

idk if others feel the same way but I love the term "butch bait" because it feels like such an open acknowledgment of the fact that so many butches feel predatory for their attraction, especially if that attraction is explicitly sexual and not just softly romantic, and most importantly it's a gesture that seeks to transform rather than reduce feelings of being a predator. like, yeah, being assured that we're not scary or monsters for having sexual desires is nice, but it doesn't work if we're not willing to believe it. "Butch bait" says "I want all of you, including the claws and the teeth and all the other parts of you that you think are scary" and I think that's something every butch deserves to hear

[butchbite]

is this what you fear about me getting a drivers license

Apparently I was so stressed about y’all talking about doing sex things while driving (!!!) that I had a dream my spouse was fucking me in a car and after a minute I was like: wait a second! If your hands are on me, they aren’t on the wheel!!

And my butch was just like “eh, the road is mostly straight”

And then I jumped in the seat to hit the breaks