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life hack: get a tattoo. if the people at the job interview notice it and look concerned, laugh a little and explain “it’s just temporary.” months later if your boss asks why you lied and said it was a temporary tattoo, stare off into the distance and whisper with a tremulous voice the poor excuse for truth your subconscious has been fighting for its entire insignificant existence: “everything is temporary.”
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who on earth coined the stereotype that girls are obsessed with changing clothes i’ve been wearing the same t shirt and pajama pants for two days now and the same bra for like three
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On the left we have the lyrics from Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines. On the right we rape survivors participating in Project Unbreakable, showing the various things that were said to them by their rapist.
From the Mouths of Rapist: The Lyrics to Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines
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my diet plan: - make all of my friends cupcakes, the fatter they get the thinner i look
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I can’t stand slow texters I would rather eat black licorice than wait on your slow ass to text me back.
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a story about tumblr’s collective ability to fact check
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I'd apologise for how much Sam I've started to post
Except I am anything but sorry.
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"tea is just leaf water!" "yeah well coffee is just bean water!" wow, it’s. it’s like everything is made of things. this door is just wood rectangle. this poster is just ink paper. this lemonade is just lemon water. wow, it’s like you can combine ingredients to make things that are more enjoyable than the initial parts of the equation. sure is a magical world we live in
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emotionally manipulative things you should never say to people:
"i would kill myself without you"
"everyone leaves me, don’t leave me like they did"
basically anything that guilts the other person into staying in a relationship with you
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LIFE HACK IF SOMEONE IS REALLY EXCITED ABOUT SOMETHING TRY TO BE EXCITED FOR THEM OR AT LEAST PRETEND TO BE AT LEAST SLIGHTLY INTERESTED BECAUSE NOTHING FEELS WORSE THAN EXPRESSING SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY ONLY TO HAVE PEOPLE TELL YOU TO CALM DOWN OR IGNORE YOU COMPLETELY
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*shows up at ur door 10 years after we had an argument* aND ANOTHER THING
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